Cashmanimal 0 #26 May 28, 2008 The bottom line is 90% of kids are only slightly influenced by the lectures their parents give them now. THe primary source of decision making comes from pop culture and the media which sells sex. It's inevitable. My reasoning when I started hitting that "hopeful" age as I will call it was it can't be bad if so many people are so addicted to it, right? Which was pretty much confirmed by every sex-ed class that talked for about 5 minutes about abstinence and an entire semester on safe sex. I already know I will tell my kids not to be idiots. I will tell them all the best advice I have, but the bottom line now having just finished my 2nd year of college is without sex I would have been enjoying myself a whole lot less without it. And I am not speaking entirely from a bias point of view here. My roommate of two years now is still a virgin and saving himself for marriage with his (so far) 4-year girlfriend. They were raised in a small town and never knew society as it is until moving to the big city for college. It took him about a month before he came to me telling me he now regrets having saved himself, as well as being in such a long term relationship. He said it only took that long of seeing how it affects life before he realized everything he had known was so old-fashioned (yes, it is). My mother was pregnant with my sister when she was 15, my sister was pregnant at 16, so I have heard all those end of the argument as well. Sex is good, which is why it is sold to everyone. Most will give in. In my honest personal opinion, anyone who has convinced themselves that they can get their kids to save themselves, is very close-minded. Times change. The smartest thing anyone can do now is educate kids from every angle and let them decide. I don't think it's entirely coincidental that the area of the US which has the highest concentration of people saving themselves is also the region with the highest concentration of segregation and prejudice, all things that were common, accepted practice back in the 17-1800's. Not to say saving yourself is wrong... just pointing out that region bound by the bible belt is going to be much more prone to resisting change, especially when it goes against religious practice. I lost my virginity at 15 with a girl who I later had a strong relationship for 4 years. She was a Catholic school girl who had sworn to God and her family she was saving herself for marriage. It sure looked bad when the Atheist boyfriend came through ruining everything, huh? So I guess my point is, good luck? I have a lot of respect for people who accomplish such an incredible display of self control and patience. But I was quick to cut off any relationships with girls who I found out were virgins (2 so far). Nothing against them, it's just a part of my life I am not willing to give up. Not at this point, while everything is in perfect working condition. It's all fun and until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bloody_trauma 2 #27 May 28, 2008 aww man... I was supposed to wait? NOW you tell me... Fly it like you stole it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #28 May 28, 2008 My oldest in three now, so I've probably got about ten years before the hard lectures hit. I plan to hit him at an earlier stage, where I will explain the most disgusting thing in the world to him, which will be the true story of what sex is about. In all seriousness, I plan to approach it with honesty. I didn't lose it till I was 21 (good reason - being a loser and fat and a dork is not the way to typically find some action). But I plan on letting the boy and the girl know that people have sex because it feels good. Yep. It feels good. But anything that feels good comes with potentially bad consequences. Thus, for the boy, sex is a fun thing. But here's what can happen: 1) Pregnancy, and does he want to be a dad? It may be fun, but will he think it was worth it in three months? 2) Disease. There are some that just don't go away, too. Genital warts aren't pleasant, and certainly will turn some women off. 3) I may catch hell for this, but the women can feel used and the guys can feel stalked by a psycho. I've learned my lesson when, fortunately, I was old enough and outta the house. Having sex with them, especially when they are younger, tends to bring a little baggage. And my boy might not like that. I want both of my kids to understand the consequences. Again, there is nothing per se wrong with it. I enjoy it myself. But by lettign them know that there is more at work there, hopefully the chances of bad can be minimized. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #29 May 28, 2008 I'm going to have to classify you as a milf. Is that ok? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
banesanura 1 #30 May 29, 2008 Okay - Lets throw a spin on this- Singles- thats men or women- How long do you wait before having sex with your SO? I haven't dated in about 2 years- so I am rather rusty with the knowledge on this. And I hate television and haven't watched it in over a year. I'm not up to what's going on with the world......Best Girl Scout Ever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrStranger3001 0 #31 May 29, 2008 QuoteOkay - Lets throw a spin on this- Singles- thats men or women- How long do you wait before having sex with your SO? I haven't dated in about 2 years- so I am rather rusty with the knowledge on this. And I hate television and haven't watched it in over a year. I'm not up to what's going on with the world...... I wait till the girl is nice and drunk. After that they can't resist my charm or lack there of. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bloody_trauma 2 #32 May 29, 2008 QuoteI will explain the most disgusting thing in the world to him, which will be the true story of what sex is about. Quote man i've got some nursing text's that could really do the work for you!Fly it like you stole it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites cocheese 0 #33 May 29, 2008 I think you should wait til i get there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MrStranger3001 0 #34 May 29, 2008 Quote I think you should wait til i get there. Damn I was just thinking that too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #35 May 29, 2008 QuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till you feel comfortable. Which I realize is a vague answer, but let me add a little more to make it slightly less vague... Long enough to know whether or not you share compatible views on sex and where/when it fits into a relationship. Long enough to know you want the same things out of the relationship."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #36 May 29, 2008 QuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till it feels right. I've dated for a couple of months without doing it. I've done so on the second date. There is no hard and fast rule, no pun intended. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MrStranger3001 0 #37 May 29, 2008 QuoteQuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till you feel comfortable. Which I realize is a vague answer, but let me add a little more to make it slightly less vague... Long enough to know whether or not you share compatible views on sex and where/when it fits into a relationship. Long enough to know you want the same things out of the relationship. I must say that I completely agree with ur point of view's on the subject Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites billstap 0 #38 May 29, 2008 im a virgin and i am 29 ----> i swear ..... do you believe me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mamajumps 0 #39 May 29, 2008 Quote Out of total curiosity, and I completely understand if you don't want to answer, but do you lead on this one by example, or is more of a 'do what I say, not as I do' kind of thing? How many of those parents who advocate waiting actually waited themselves? We're going to be adopting in the near future, and the kids will be older (9+), so I'm making mental notes for them, this isn't just nosiness Well as my first response said, I wish someone would have taken time to talk to me about this as a youngster. That is the one thing that if I could do over I would in a heartbeat, I would have most definitly saved myself for marriage. I think my life would have turned out totally different from that one decision, I would probably still be married, but to someone else. Because of how I was as a teen and young adult, I didnt make the best choices in men. Which led me to marry the person I did. I am however not ashamed of my past and I will openly share my mistakes with my kids. Something my parents did not do...but then again they didnt do a lot of things. My kids do know my boyfriend, and he respects them and vice versa. We do hug and kiss around them, but on a platonic level if that makes sense. We do not play tonsil hockey in front of them. As far as other aspects in life, I do not do the whole "do as I say do not as I do" thing. My parents did that with me and I dont have a lot of respect for them now. When I am with my kids, I mind my mouth, dont drink and exhibit any other behavior that I dont want them to do. I think I definitly lead by example. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mamajumps 0 #40 May 29, 2008 Quote Quote I do, and when my daughter is old enough to appreciate it and understand it she will get a purity ring (ring that sorta looks like a wedding ring, and is worn on the same finger). My friend's daughter has one of those. They're Southern Baptist and are involved in their church. She just took it off before she had sex at 16. Save your money. I was actually going to havemy old wedding rings melted into one for her. I thought it would be a good way to put something that ended bad to good use. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites normiss 622 #41 May 29, 2008 no! bad juju!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mamajumps 0 #42 May 29, 2008 Quote Quote Out of total curiosity, and I completely understand if you don't want to answer, but do you lead on this one by example, or is more of a 'do what I say, not as I do' kind of thing? How many of those parents who advocate waiting actually waited themselves? Had a buddy in high school who had a pair of those hard-nosed bible-toting parents. One day he was thinking about the anniversaries and birthdays of everyone on the family, and it suddenly struck him: Oldest sister was born too soon. Boy was Mom embarrassed!So much so, she wouldn't even discuss it. Thats one thing that I have never nor will ever claim to be. I am a Christian yes, and that has gotten me thru a lot of difficult times in life. However, I never claim to be perfect or act perfect of fall into being a "hypa-christian" mentallity. My kids, my friends and others have seen me fall and definitly not act like people have deemed that a Christian should act lke. I am not proud of this, but I am human, which makes me far from perfect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites normiss 622 #43 May 29, 2008 almost as hot as banging one with a wedding ring on? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites metalslug 31 #44 May 29, 2008 Save yourself for marriage? You're supposed to save yourself from marriage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ryoder 1,390 #45 May 29, 2008 Quote Save yourself for marriage? You're supposed to save yourself from marriage. Best answer yet!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rudolfz 0 #46 May 29, 2008 I agree absolutely, that's probably exactly what I'd tell my kids (if I ever have any). Personally though, I am having sex long before I consider a girl my SO. Actually I don't think I could even consider a girl an SO until I've had sex with her. I am not saying a girl I don't have sex with can't be significant, just saying she sure as shit ain't my girlfriend. I guess sex is just really important to me, actually...correction... I am not guessing on that one...it is really important to me. and in closing... SEX IS AWESOME! thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Blue42 0 #47 May 29, 2008 I waited until I was 18. It was all downhill after that! However, I am glad that I waited until after high school. Not that my first experience was thrilling . . . Carpe Diem! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites billstap 0 #48 May 29, 2008 oh wait i just remembered my virginity story: 2 virgins went to the virgin islands virgins, and left the virgin islands not virgins ----- aaahhhh!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #49 May 29, 2008 When I was in college, the president of the religious youth group was a woman. The woman dated a guy who was very involved in the youth group with her. He said that they never had sex because they had a deep spiritual bond. Good thing, because she was so wound up, she damn near killed me on Tuesdays when he was at evening mens group meeting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MrStranger3001 0 #50 May 29, 2008 Personaly I don't think people need to wait till marrige anymore. Nowadays people don't get married till in their late 20's or 30's. If everyone waited till marrige we would have a whole lotta 40 year old virgins running around. Speaking from experience, once I finally was deflowered I had a lot more confidence around women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 Next Page 2 of 4 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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cocheese 0 #33 May 29, 2008 I think you should wait til i get there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrStranger3001 0 #34 May 29, 2008 Quote I think you should wait til i get there. Damn I was just thinking that too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #35 May 29, 2008 QuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till you feel comfortable. Which I realize is a vague answer, but let me add a little more to make it slightly less vague... Long enough to know whether or not you share compatible views on sex and where/when it fits into a relationship. Long enough to know you want the same things out of the relationship."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #36 May 29, 2008 QuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till it feels right. I've dated for a couple of months without doing it. I've done so on the second date. There is no hard and fast rule, no pun intended. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrStranger3001 0 #37 May 29, 2008 QuoteQuoteHow long do you wait before having sex with your SO? Till you feel comfortable. Which I realize is a vague answer, but let me add a little more to make it slightly less vague... Long enough to know whether or not you share compatible views on sex and where/when it fits into a relationship. Long enough to know you want the same things out of the relationship. I must say that I completely agree with ur point of view's on the subject Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billstap 0 #38 May 29, 2008 im a virgin and i am 29 ----> i swear ..... do you believe me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #39 May 29, 2008 Quote Out of total curiosity, and I completely understand if you don't want to answer, but do you lead on this one by example, or is more of a 'do what I say, not as I do' kind of thing? How many of those parents who advocate waiting actually waited themselves? We're going to be adopting in the near future, and the kids will be older (9+), so I'm making mental notes for them, this isn't just nosiness Well as my first response said, I wish someone would have taken time to talk to me about this as a youngster. That is the one thing that if I could do over I would in a heartbeat, I would have most definitly saved myself for marriage. I think my life would have turned out totally different from that one decision, I would probably still be married, but to someone else. Because of how I was as a teen and young adult, I didnt make the best choices in men. Which led me to marry the person I did. I am however not ashamed of my past and I will openly share my mistakes with my kids. Something my parents did not do...but then again they didnt do a lot of things. My kids do know my boyfriend, and he respects them and vice versa. We do hug and kiss around them, but on a platonic level if that makes sense. We do not play tonsil hockey in front of them. As far as other aspects in life, I do not do the whole "do as I say do not as I do" thing. My parents did that with me and I dont have a lot of respect for them now. When I am with my kids, I mind my mouth, dont drink and exhibit any other behavior that I dont want them to do. I think I definitly lead by example. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #40 May 29, 2008 Quote Quote I do, and when my daughter is old enough to appreciate it and understand it she will get a purity ring (ring that sorta looks like a wedding ring, and is worn on the same finger). My friend's daughter has one of those. They're Southern Baptist and are involved in their church. She just took it off before she had sex at 16. Save your money. I was actually going to havemy old wedding rings melted into one for her. I thought it would be a good way to put something that ended bad to good use. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #42 May 29, 2008 Quote Quote Out of total curiosity, and I completely understand if you don't want to answer, but do you lead on this one by example, or is more of a 'do what I say, not as I do' kind of thing? How many of those parents who advocate waiting actually waited themselves? Had a buddy in high school who had a pair of those hard-nosed bible-toting parents. One day he was thinking about the anniversaries and birthdays of everyone on the family, and it suddenly struck him: Oldest sister was born too soon. Boy was Mom embarrassed!So much so, she wouldn't even discuss it. Thats one thing that I have never nor will ever claim to be. I am a Christian yes, and that has gotten me thru a lot of difficult times in life. However, I never claim to be perfect or act perfect of fall into being a "hypa-christian" mentallity. My kids, my friends and others have seen me fall and definitly not act like people have deemed that a Christian should act lke. I am not proud of this, but I am human, which makes me far from perfect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #43 May 29, 2008 almost as hot as banging one with a wedding ring on? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
metalslug 31 #44 May 29, 2008 Save yourself for marriage? You're supposed to save yourself from marriage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,390 #45 May 29, 2008 Quote Save yourself for marriage? You're supposed to save yourself from marriage. Best answer yet!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rudolfz 0 #46 May 29, 2008 I agree absolutely, that's probably exactly what I'd tell my kids (if I ever have any). Personally though, I am having sex long before I consider a girl my SO. Actually I don't think I could even consider a girl an SO until I've had sex with her. I am not saying a girl I don't have sex with can't be significant, just saying she sure as shit ain't my girlfriend. I guess sex is just really important to me, actually...correction... I am not guessing on that one...it is really important to me. and in closing... SEX IS AWESOME! thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blue42 0 #47 May 29, 2008 I waited until I was 18. It was all downhill after that! However, I am glad that I waited until after high school. Not that my first experience was thrilling . . . Carpe Diem! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billstap 0 #48 May 29, 2008 oh wait i just remembered my virginity story: 2 virgins went to the virgin islands virgins, and left the virgin islands not virgins ----- aaahhhh!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #49 May 29, 2008 When I was in college, the president of the religious youth group was a woman. The woman dated a guy who was very involved in the youth group with her. He said that they never had sex because they had a deep spiritual bond. Good thing, because she was so wound up, she damn near killed me on Tuesdays when he was at evening mens group meeting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrStranger3001 0 #50 May 29, 2008 Personaly I don't think people need to wait till marrige anymore. Nowadays people don't get married till in their late 20's or 30's. If everyone waited till marrige we would have a whole lotta 40 year old virgins running around. Speaking from experience, once I finally was deflowered I had a lot more confidence around women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
