Open Caskets

[skydiver30960 0]

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I think the open casket magnifies my sadness

Agreed. One that I remember in particular was for a friend killed in a school shooting. Seeing her made it feel real (the whole thing was so sureal overall, it was like being in a bad dream, and seeing her in the casket grounded me in reality).

And this is the one reason I've heard (honestly don't recall where) that open caskets have been the norm in the past.

...something about the human grieving process and that often some cannot get out of the denial phase and begin to get over the loss without being confronted with irrefutable proof that their loved one truly is dead.

Elvisio "keep mine closed" Rodriguez

[Nataly 38]

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I find that viewing an open casket helps me in the denial stage of grief.

If it is closed, I have a hard time believing that it is true.

The funeral I remember the most was that of my first grandfather. I would have been something like 10 or 11. I think if it had been closed casket I wouldn't have understood or believed he was really gone. I never like an open casket, but it does give me a sense of closure. What makes it real for me is seeing that the body looks nothing like the person I knew, and in a weird way I think this helps me to let go (because they're already gone).

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[normiss 622]

I think, sadly, a lot of us see it that way as well.

[happythoughts 0]

No way. We're gonna sit you down in a chair next to the pool table at the Crystal and wait for some drunk chick to dance with you.

[NealFitz 0]

over here in Ireland Roman Catholic funerals tend to practice open caskets all the time. when one of our loved ones die, the body is placed in the coffin and then the coffin is placed in the bedroom without the lid and itll sit there for 2 nights and there is always gonna be someone watching over it- we call it a wake. years ago it was practiced in the belief that the deceased would wake from death and the tradition has just carried on. it always seems a bit daunting to see a dead body but you can sit with them for hours. its only practiced in the Irish Roman Catholic faith though.

Dudeist Skydiver #170
You do not need a parachute to skydive, you only need one to skydive again

[happythoughts 0]

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it always seems a bit daunting to see a dead body but you can sit with them for hours.

If you are going to sit with them for hours, play some cards.

They'll never catch you cheating.

[JerryBaumchen 1,065]

Hi moms,

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My friend didn't even look anything like the way I remember him.

Therein lies the problem IMO.

BTW I voted for closed.

But for me: I just want a memorial party. I don't even want my ashes on display.

Now to make the kids remember

JerryBaumchen

[Conundrum 1]

My aunt many years ago had an open casket and my grandmother that I watched die last August had an open casket viewing (close family only) but closed for the funeral. Can't say I was a big fan, but at the same time, it was nice to be able to see my grandmother at peace after everything I'd watched her go through for 9 days. No food, no water, comatose state the whole time, her feet curling and white with the blood pooling at the heels as death crept up her body. It's a terrible thing, dying.

[The_Don 0]

I'm ugly alive. No one one needs to see me dead.

Throw a party to say good bye to Don.

I don't think any usable parts are left, so torch me, ash dive me, look up and say..


THERE HE GOES!

FLY FOREVER!


Don.

I am NOT being loud.
I'm being enthusiastic!

[longtall 0]

Some people need to see that for closure. Most of my life my Dad was an enbalmer, funeral director and cosmetologist. I was able to see his work and although these people were found in a field after a tornado (Indiana). The people looked just like they were sleeping. No wax figure at all. Condolences Andrea.

" 90 right, five miles then cut."---Pukin Buzzards

[MikeJD 0]

Andrea, sorry for the loss of your friend.

I'd prefer no coffin/ casket at all, open or closed.

For me the most upsetting parts of a funeral are the arrival and departure (or burial) of the coffin. It's seeing someone you've known in life reduced to remains in a box, which somehow never seems an appropriate way to remember or honour a person.

I realise the coffin forms a focal point for the funeral - but even so I'd prefer just a photo at the memorial service, and the reminiscences of people who knew that person in life.

[cocheese 0]

I agree. Way to go..thinking outside the box.

[bullin82 0]

Im with warped ive been to a to of funerals i would say half and half on the viewing and all i know is theres nothig that can steal my memories of them cause there body is just leftover parts. maye i have a poor view on things i dont know.

[skymama 35]

Thank you for offering condolences John and Mike. This was the first non-skydiver service I've been to in years and it was certainly a different ceremony than the Memorials I've been to at the dz. It was also a reality check for me about aging; Brian was only 51 yet he died from a stroke. My friends are starting to hit middle age- we're going to start dying from old people's diseases! We're old!

I was ok during the service until I saw his wife trying to comfort his sons, that tore me up.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[councilman24 36]

The closed casket visitations I've been to have been missing that closure. Most of the formal funerals are closed casket after visitation. I closed my father's casket just before the formal service.

I've been to some memorials where I never knew WHAT happened to the body. It may have been donated but I have to admit I was curious as to what was done. Not close enough to the family to ask.

I like to have somewhere to go to remember.

But what I didn't need was the friend that bounced on a jump I was on and was in an open casket in her wedding dress. (Only married 9 months, husband on jump also) Her head was not the right shape.

I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

[virgin-burner 1]

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But what I didn't need was the friend that bounced on a jump I was on and was in an open casket in her wedding dress. (Only married 9 months, husband on jump also) Her head was not the right shape.

OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD-!-!-!



if that wont leave you completely traumatized, i dont really know what else will..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Elisha 1]

I find an Open Casket viewing/funeral preferable if at all possible. In a way, not having one seems to me to be a denial of the reality of the newly deceased.

[Andy9o8 0]

I understand the closure aspect, but in addition to open-casket viewings/funerals, I've been to plenty of closed-casket or ash-urn funerals, and a couple of memorial services without the body present. For me, the event itself, and the people gathered, left me with no doubt that the deceased was deceased, and provided me with the closure that I needed.

[Elisha 1]

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over here in Ireland Roman Catholic funerals tend to practice open caskets all the time.
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its only practiced in the Irish Roman Catholic faith though.

Not true. The Orthodox (Russian/Greek/Romainian/etc.) practice open casket too. Casket is usually open until they leave the church for the cemetary (open through all the services).

[RastaRicanAir 0]

Lying there empty, still, and helpless......?
In front of a bunch of mourners who'll draw a c*ck on your forehead if you just pass out in a hangar??!
No thanks!!

Sorry.
Kinda heavy thread.
I was going for the cathartic laugh.
You ALL have my empathy.
Short answer: Just show me the photo album and ash bag.

OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411
-"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

[legalart 0]

As a child open caskets helped clarify death for me. As an adult I find the tradition somewhat creepy.

[NealFitz 0]

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over here in Ireland Roman Catholic funerals tend to practice open caskets all the time.
...

its only practiced in the Irish Roman Catholic faith though.

Not true. The Orthodox (Russian/Greek/Romainian/etc.) practice open casket too. Casket is usually open until they leave the church for the cemetary (open through all the services).

ours dont stay open during the funeral- the undertaker closes the lid in the house and then the coffin is placed in the hearse to be brought to the chapel

Dudeist Skydiver #170
You do not need a parachute to skydive, you only need one to skydive again

[FlyingJ 0]

I voted creepy, though it's not so much creepy as just not for me. My downstairs neighbor just died last week. He had all sorts of problems and when I realized I hadn't seen him in a day or two I went to check. Called the cops and we broke in and I found him dead, blue and in full rigor. Working in EMS I typically see a dead body at least every week or two and any creeped out feelings I might once have had are long gone. I was close to this neighbor, but sitting there with him while waiting for on-duty EMS to show up and confirm didn't effect me at all. When I went to his service though seeing him in the casket did upset me a bit. Even while looking at his dead body on the bed, what I thought about was the guy I knew. Looking at the posed body just made me feel sad that this was the last memory so many people would have of him.

Killing threads since 2004.

[happythoughts 0]

My last two funerals were skydiving friends.

The last one was nice because there wasn't a
ceremony as much as a celebration of their life.
People just walked up front and said something nice about the person.



I always figured that a nice wake-style type of event
would be nice for my funeral. A food and drinks party.



It disturbed me that my ex-wife had a date set for it though.

[Heatmiser 0]

No matter how good the makeup, people look plastic to me.

What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo

Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama