Engineers aint got no game!

[turtlespeed 212]

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Just because a woman wants a man to provide for her and her children does not necessarily mean she wants him to provide the dna for her aformentioned children.

I wish the font would go up to 60 . . . DING! WE HAVE A WINNER

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[downwardspiral 0]

It's awesome when one of my masterpieces is recognized by Turtle.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[nigel99 151]

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Yeah I got out as fast as I could.
When I saw that I was going nowhere fast....I had no choice. So I went and applied for a managers job.
Now I have to get my ass in gear and get an MBA.

Don't get me wrong I loved being an engineer....i really did and still do enjoy fixing broken things and or making peoples lives better.....but the total lack of respect......and the crap pay?

I had no choice but to move on.

Those who can, do; those who cannot, manage.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[shah269 0]

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Those who can, do; those who cannot, manage.

I knot this is going to sound dumb....but I was so frustrated in seeing so many good ideas get shot down and not get any funding...i thought if i could become a manager I would work hard to make sure every engineer got their fare shake.
So far I have been ok at it. I've helped a few groups get their ideas prototyped and even tested. But I have to admit it's hard work and I worry about burning out at times.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[shah269 0]

Well.....the boy messed up bit time!
Why the dork put on death metal on in the car when he picked her up....i'll never understand.
Your a 32 yo pudgy engineer who is into death metal.....really? And he's wondering why she's not interested?
Engineers aint got no game

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Nataly 38]

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Well.....the boy messed up bit time!
Why the dork put on death metal on in the car when he picked her up....i'll never understand.
Your a 32 yo pudgy engineer who is into death metal.....really? And he's wondering why she's not interested?
Engineers aint got no game

If she's not interested, maybe she's just not his type. For fuck's sake, let the boy be himself - how else is he going to find someone who likes *him*???

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[warpedskydiver 0]

Hows this scenario?

He can pretend to be someone else, so can she, they can get married.

Then she can try and change him into what she wants, he can be unhappy with who she is.

Wouldn't that be great?

[Nataly 38]

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Hows this scenario?

He can pretend to be someone else, so can she, they can get married.

Then she can try and change him into what she wants, he can be unhappy with who she is.

Wouldn't that be great?

Sounds like the reason so many people get divorced!!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shah269 0]

Yeah but look you can ease some one into your lifestyle.
Give them a chance to know you and then come to terms with all the extras.

And he's not what any girl would call a good looking guy.
The man needs to work on his strengths....what ever they may be. And blaring death metal on the second date.....is not a strength.

Look I'm not good looking by any stretch of the imagination. But I love dance and trance music. And I knew full well that the number of girls that like such music was very small.

So on the first date I would never blast Daft Punk or Orbital. Maybe date two I would slip in one song or two and and ask..."What do you think of this?"

And most young girls having crap taste in music would say "Oh it's nice but I like rap/ boy band."

And hay that was ok with me. But this guy....uh...oh my god is he ever screwed. Boy just aint got game!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Royd 0]

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As they say, se la vi. such is life.

Maybe, along with that square dancing, they should teach French.

[Royd 0]

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My friend did it....he over came his dorkyness....he didn't flood the girl with test messages, he didn't freak out and I for one hope it works out. They are kind of cute together.

In other words, you were the only one, freaking out.

[Nataly 38]

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Yeah but look you can ease some one into your lifestyle.
Give them a chance to know you and then come to terms with all the extras.

Dude.. Who are you to decide what his qualities and what his *extras* are anyway?? He's not trying to mate with you!! Everyone's different.. I mean, the woman of his dreams might be really into that sort of music, but might find his fondness for Mexican food really, really annoying!

I hope your friend reads these threads and sees how much you put him down. To an outsider, what you write about your friend seems a lot more like abuse than support.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shah269 0]

He already called me up and asked what went wrong.
I asked did you have Gwar blasting in you leased Carola when you picked her up?
He said yes.
I asked how many girls do you know who are into Gwar and death metal
This took him a solid one min of thought
He replied none he's ever met.
I said ok.
Did she seem like the kind of girl who would be into listening to Gwar at full blast to and from the movies while watching a 30+ yo engineer head banging in his car?
Took him another full min.
No.
So I asked him if he would simply have the radio on the next time he picks up another girl for a date? And maybe not scream along? And maybe slowly introduce her to your.....non main stream taste in music?
His response was yes.

Good looking guys are like good looking girls.

A good looking guy can take your money, have his music blasting and say a few rude things.....but odds are the girl will forgive him.

I nor my friend even come close to qualifying as good looking. And as such he needs to learn how to play the game. He won't win anyone with his looks, unless there are girls who are into pudgy, poorly dressed guys.

Rather he has to win her over with her personality and who he is. And some times that means taking it easy. Don't overload the poor girl. Let her get to know you and what would be considered a deal breaker on date 1 may just be a funny quark on date 10.

And yes French classes would be great! Hell any non engineering / math class would be much appreciated so as to re humanize engineers and teach them about basic human interactions.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[billvon 2,470]

> Well.....the boy messed up bit time! Why the dork put on death metal
>on in the car when he picked her up....i'll never understand.

I have this image of your friend saying "you're right! I'll play 90's classics or something like that next time I try dating a girl."

Then he meets a woman who seems really cool; they have a lot in common. He picks her up and plays his 90's classics for her. She thinks "he seems like an OK guy, but what's with the old music? Why can't I find a guy into death metal? Oh well, it was worth a try."

Be yourself. Better to be rejected for who you are than be accepted for who you're not.

[Nataly 38]

OOohhhh.. How silly of me.. Good looking people are loveable because they're good looking.. So the uglies need to pretend they're someone totally different in order to trick someone into liking them.

Took him a whole minute to think about each thing you said, huh? Probably because your pearls of wisdom were so difficult for someone that ugly to understand.

My god, it all makes sense now.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[nanook 1]

Maybe you should try to hook him up with girls more like him instead.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[shah269 0]

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Maybe you should try to hook him up with girls more like him instead.

You know any girls who are into death metal and Gwar in or around NYC? I'm looking for him but....well I honestly don't know of any. And the ones he knows aren't his type.
The boy is shy, poorly dressed, out of shape and picky?
I don't get it?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[shah269 0]

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OOohhhh.. How silly of me.. Good looking people are loveable because they're good looking.. So the uglies need to pretend they're someone totally different in order to trick someone into liking them.

Yes, as a guy yes. I'm not the kind of guy who will walk into a bar or a night club and the girls will go ga ga over me. I'm not that tall, I'm not ripped (maybe I have to do two days of yoga + two days at the gym when i get better) and I'm not money.

So how did i get girls to talk to me? Simple by playing this stupid little game. In effect being some one else for a little bit till you were disarmed so as to give me 5 min of your time so I could tell you who I really was.

I don't want to boy to change, I want the boy to understand not every one is going to be like him. He should hang around the middle ground and slowly introduce the girl to all of his likes and dislikes.

Him blasting Gwar and death metal in his leased Carola (who the hell leases Carolas anyway?) was not only rude but selfish. He knew full well she was not into death metal and yet instead of being a gentlemen and living with top 20 music to and from the movies he blasted death metal. And if he hadn't, maybe she wouldn't have been freaked and maybe he would have had a chance to sell himself.

You see where I'm coming from?
Now if he were male model material and in the money she would have cared less......maybe.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[nanook 1]

NYC is a pretty huge area. He needs to get out of his usual bubble of acquaintances. Hooking him up with other people may not be what's best for him.

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The boy is shy, poorly dressed, out of shape and picky?
I don't get it?

He's out of his comfort zone, that's why.

If you are going to help him, why not be a real service to him instead of putting him in uncomfortable situations. Instead of insulting him, try praising his interests. Make him comfortable with himself. Confidence is the winner, not tricks of the game. This doesn't help:

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I asked did you have Gwar blasting in you leased Carola when you picked her up?

Build him up. Don't make his interests and style inferior. Promote groups and organizations that have similar interests. Is he one of those larper types? push him to one of those SCA/renaissance groups. Lot of women there. Hell, buy him a tandem skydive.

The important thing here; make him comfortable with being himself and not being ashamed of his interests. That will help him break out of his shell. It will be easier for him to find someone special.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[chasteh 0]

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Yes, as a guy yes. I'm not the kind of guy who will walk into a bar or a night club and the girls will go ga ga over me. I'm not that tall, I'm not ripped (maybe I have to do two days of yoga + two days at the gym when i get better) and I'm not money.

So how did i get girls to talk to me? Simple by playing this stupid little game. In effect being some one else for a little bit till you were disarmed so as to give me 5 min of your time so I could tell you who I really was.

Yep. I've done that too. I used to think it was this sick twisted little thing I would do to get some ass. And then, as I met more people and got more comfortable (if that really happened) I noticed that pretty much everyone does this. They put on a "I'm worth something in the personality market" face. I like to refer to this process as "dating in the Western World."

That doesn't mean I like the process. I hate the notion of having to "sell" myself to another person to convince them to be my friend/go out/have sex with me. That is probably why I am so bad at it. (Wait... maybe that might be a reason other people look to online forums for companionship)

edit: However, I can and do appreciate the end result of such a despicable means - you usually end up with sime prime-time ass that you usually wouldn't get by just "being yourself," at least for most of us non-Fabio types.

[Nataly 38]

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You see where I'm coming from?

Nope.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[OlympiaStoica 0]

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OOohhhh.. How silly of me.. Good looking people are loveable because they're good looking.. So the uglies need to pretend they're someone totally different in order to trick someone into liking them.

Took him a whole minute to think about each thing you said, huh? Probably because your pearls of wisdom were so difficult for someone that ugly to understand.

My god, it all makes sense now.

One piece of unsolicited advice ... if you want to avoid frustration, skip over posts by this person ... I don't understand why this thread is still going ...

O

[shah269 0]

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You see where I'm coming from?

Nope.

You’re a cute girl, I don't think you have ever had to play this stupid game to get a guy to talk to you right? In fact, I'm going to guess that when you do go out you get hit on at least once per hour at the bar and once per 30seconds at the Dz?

Basically what I'm sayings is that guys have to do the equivalent of a push up braw and a mini skirt but rather with pretending and playing this stupid game to get the girl to give him a few moments of her time so they can show the girl their true self.

Yeah sure, we have the ability to stand up when we pee.....but we have to work to get a girl to give us a few minutes.

It is what it is and no most good looking girls don't get it because they never had to work to get attention or a moment with someone.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[shah269 0]

nanook
I've looked high and low for this guy over the past three months. I've dragged him out to god knows how many bars and clubs and places where he can meet people.
But still the facts are the facts
30+ yo guy
into death metal
very out of shape
very shy
I set him up with a girl at a bar, club, ect and then I stand back and he crashes like the Hindenburg.
I'm sorry, I myself don't know any girl who would react well do "So I'm really into death metal and an engineer." I think that translates to most women as "I am a leper and I like cheese."
I keep telling the guy, "Look you play the guitar and a few other instruments, talk to the girls about that and then slowly tell them about your love of Gwar and Lordy and you are thinking of getting a grim reaper tattoo and are an engineer."
Does he listen?
NO!
First words out of his mouth, if ANY involve death metal.
But yeah...maybe those mid evil dancy things may be a good place for the guy to go? I don't know.....maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Here is to hoping he finds some one. At least I tried right?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Nataly 38]

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You see where I'm coming from?

Nope.

You’re a cute girl, I don't think you have ever had to play this stupid game to get a guy to talk to you right? In fact, I'm going to guess that when you do go out you get hit on at least once per hour at the bar and once per 30seconds at the Dz?

Basically what I'm sayings is that guys have to do the equivalent of a push up braw and a mini skirt but rather with pretending and playing this stupid game to get the girl to give him a few moments of her time so they can show the girl their true self.

Yeah sure, we have the ability to stand up when we pee.....but we have to work to get a girl to give us a few minutes.

It is what it is and no most good looking girls don't get it because they never had to work to get attention or a moment with someone.

Of course it's just my opinion, and of course I'm not ugly.. But just the same, I think changing your personality and "tricking" someone into liking you can only *decrease* the odds of you finding a good match. Your advice is fine if your friend is only interested in sex, because he has a higher chance of "scoring" if he goes with the flow.. In terms of a relationship, though, finding your match (IMO) is all about being yourself.

And for the record, I'm hardly getting hit on at a rate of once per 30 seconds!! Even just imagining this scenario made me laugh since it's so totally ridiculous!!! I spend 99.99% of my time at work or at home.. I enjoy solo sports and staying at home.. Unsurprisingly, I don't meet a lot of people this way!! And trust me, when I *do* go out, guys honestly don't swarm around me.. My less attractive friends are flirtier and get all the attention. Personality and outgoingness are *far* more important than looks. And if you think your friend is a social freak - let him be a social freak.. At least the woman who will fall in love with him will *like* his freaky side

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss