Tee 0 #1 March 2, 2001 Some may have seen these before...(and believe me, this is the shortened list) but they are always good for a chuckle.YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SKYDIVER WHEN... · You're making love to your partner and they whisper "I've never done this before" and you yell out "THAT'S a case of beer!". · On cloudy/windy days you pull out your parachute and pack it just to say that you've done something skydiving-related. · You "dirt-dive", "post-dive" and critique your love-making sessions. · Whenever leaving an establishment you yell "DOOR" to all the patrons before opening the door. · You think of Jack Jeffries, Tamara Koyn and Norm Kent as "famous". · You sign your checks with your name and USPA number. · Every time someone's beeper goes off you look at your watch to see if it's break-off altitude. · You analyze sessions of love-making in terms of "points turned". · You have your paycheck direct-deposited into the dz account. · You plan your vacations around skydiving boogies. · You drive a beaten-up car because you really need that new canopy more. · You catch yourself flaking the bed instead of making it · You name your dog "Toggles" · You look at your VCR and think, "Hmm, that's gotta be worth a few jumps." · Your rig costs more than your trailer. · Losing your job is a reason for celebration! · Your 'work' clothes have grippers. · Your log book is thicker than any book you've ever read. · You stop by the New River Bridge and take a look. All the others are saying 'damn, look how high it is' and you're saying 'damn, look how low it is'. · When you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost. · When seeing seats in a twin otter gives you the willies. · When you go to divorce court and give your ex everything as long as you can keep all your skydiving gear. · You put your arms down and back in a full track when running down stairs. · When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you check is your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you. · Your thinking about taking all the but the driver's seats out of your car. · Your whuffo friends only call if the weather man says the weekend will be shitty. · You can't think of a better way to relax other than falling 10,000 feet. · You try to convince the flight attendant on a commercial flight that you really! would be much more comfortable sitting on the floor. · Your friends think it's funny to, when you are sleeping, blow a fan in your face and set a beeper off near your ear. · When someone asks you where you're from, you reply with the name of your dz, not your hometown. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #2 March 2, 2001 Geez, Tee,Did you read my life story?? Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #3 March 2, 2001 Those still make me laugh!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #4 March 2, 2001 Pammi,Laugh?? I thought those were just facts of life?? Damn, did I miss something?? DUHH??Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #5 March 2, 2001 Hi there,You missed one: You're in an elevator and as it starts to descend you instinctively ARCH!!Mike D10270. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tee 0 #6 March 2, 2001 Now that one made me LAUGH!!! Good one!Tee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #7 March 2, 2001 Mike,Do you mean to tell me that normal people DON'T arch in a decending elevator?? Wow, and I thought I was doing it right all this time.Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #8 March 2, 2001 Hey ya'll,Does this mean I'm not supposed to fart in an accending elevator??Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iflyme 0 #9 March 2, 2001 Not unless a student next to you pukes... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #10 March 2, 2001 Modern Manners for Skydivers:Only fart in an ascending elevator if it's climbing at over 1,000ft/min. Point out to Whuffos that if this WAS a skydiving "lift" then you could open the door! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #11 March 2, 2001 Hey, If ya fart and the student next to ya' pukes and the suit in front of him catches it on his collar, do ya' get extra points?? And should ya' yell "door"?? Or just giggle uncontrollably??Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deleted 0 #12 March 4, 2001 I love these things. They always crack me upB Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aviatrr 0 #13 March 4, 2001 You know you're a skydiver when...Everytime you're on an airline flight you spend most of the time thinking... "Ok, I could get XX seconds of freefall from here, and land in THAT field.."Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #14 March 6, 2001 · You name your dog "Toggles" Hmmmm... does "Slider" count?? She's my Australian Shepherd!I got a good one this weekend... You know you're a skydiver when you find tube stows on the counter in the bathroom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freaksister 0 #15 March 6, 2001 yeah, in my kitchen you open the drawer and there are big bags of our kind of rubber bands in there, they wind up on everything! lol, whuffos always ask where i get these bad ass big rubber bands! haha... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hellian 0 #16 March 6, 2001 the one about the fan and beeper cracks me up, don't remember it. another:You no longer think of BOC as Blue Oyster Cult (i'm too young for this so i hope i did it right ) but as Bottom of container.Ed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #17 March 6, 2001 When I was on the plane on the way down to florida...I looked at my watch to check the altitude when we were taking off...ughhh.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 4 #18 March 6, 2001 And, from personal experience: Every place you take up space is now called a "slot". Example: "You got an open slot in your car? Or should I drive too?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #19 August 18, 2008 · When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you check is your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you. Quote ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #20 August 18, 2008 Quote · When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you check is your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you. Quote DUDE thread necromancing from 2001You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #21 August 18, 2008 Quote Quote · When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you check is your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you. Quote DUDE thread necromancing from 2001 Old Guy! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #22 August 18, 2008 Quote When I was on the plane on the way down to florida...I looked at my watch to check the altitude when we were taking off...ughhh.... Or you reset your watch to noon as you are taxiing out. Every time you see a flag in the breeze you think about which way to face when you land. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aresye 0 #23 August 18, 2008 This one definitely applies to me personally: You know you're a skydiver when all your whuffo friends are on the edge of killing you if you mention anything skydiving related. And another: ...when you're driving through downtown, and all you think about is, "I bet I could BASE that."Skydiving: You either learn from other's mistakes, or they'll learn from yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybill 19 #24 August 18, 2008 Hi Tee, ....skydiver when...., You have a pull up cord on your belt loop even when you are not at the DZ! You go to a job interview dressed in cutoffs, skydive T-shirt, pullup cord on belt loop, cool shades, ball cap with skydiving badges hilighted, Tiva sandals or flip-flops with a stow band by the big toe and last but not least, you bring a six pak of beer!! You're really a skydiver when you've been living on the DZ in a tent and havn't set foot off the airport in over 6 months!!! (unless you landed out from a bad spot!!)SCR-2034, SCS-680 III%, Deli-out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #25 August 18, 2008 You give your SO AFF hand signals when making out.Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites