Sexual Harassment and Chivalry

[JohnMitchell 14]

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What about the whole go to the other side and open the car door thing? I do that too.

Valinda likes it that I do that. She says women tell her they wished their guys would do it too.

[wmw999 2,121]

It's not an everyday thing; it's the sign of a special dress-up evening for us.

In these days of remote automatic locks, I can't lean over and unlock his door any more to be considerate however.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[piisfish 135]

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Not one! Not even, nice shoes!

after "Nice shoes"... comes... "wanna fuck" ??

Glad to live where I live...

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[MikeJD 0]

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if anyone from outside of the company / family made a sideways comment ALL the guys would stand up and defend the woman's honor. To the point where there were a few fist thrown when someone from another company or random stranger was thrown ass over tea kettle out of a bar by a bunch of well dressed men due to a comment he made about a one of the women.

If that's chivalrous behaviour, count me out.

[dgskydive 0]

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I've had some of that training too. I can tell a woman in the workplace I like her hair cut.

We can tell women once that they look nice that day. If you tell them the same thing the next day you are harassing them. Oh and better not pat someone on the back and say good job, that is sexual harassment just for patting them on the back. And heaven forbid you use the F-bomb even in your own office. If someone walks by and hears it... your in trouble.

Dom

[wmw999 2,121]

Some women are psycho and are looking for a way to feel slighted or harrassed. Just as some men are psycho and perfectly willing to harrass.

But if you tell a woman that she looks nice and she doesn't react, or seems uncomfortable, then just don't compliment her again; obviously she's not into that. If you tell her she looks nice and she smiles and says thank you, then you can do it again. But not every day -- that's kind of weird and stalky. And if she says "thanks, and you should see my underwear" then you ask her for a date that night

If your company tends to have a lot of female employees who are uncomfortable with anything remotely resembling personal, well, either there's something in the culture, or whoever does the hiring likes that sort -- just as Aggies often hire other Aggies. Such is life.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[JohnMitchell 14]

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But if you tell a woman that she looks nice and she doesn't react, or seems uncomfortable, then just don't compliment her again; obviously she's not into that. If you tell her she looks nice and she smiles and says thank you, then you can do it again. But not every day -- that's kind of weird and stalky. And if she says "thanks, and you should see my underwear" then you ask her for a date that night

Once again, you nailed it.

And a lot of it is how the man says the compliment. If you're staring at her chest the whole time, it can be pretty creepy. If you can manage to look at her eyes and maybe even smile, she'll know you're just being friendly.

Guys keep forgetting that the women are in charge.

[davjohns 1]

I like to compliment people when I can genuinely do so. I have taken to only complimenting older females, though. The young ones seem to think everything is sexual. Oddly, they only get around to complaining about the 'sexual harassment' when they get reprimanded for something or don't get the evaluation they wanted. I wonder why that is?

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[BillyVance 34]

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I like to compliment people when I can genuinely do so. I have taken to only complimenting older females, though. The young ones seem to think everything is sexual. Oddly, they only get around to complaining about the 'sexual harassment' when they get reprimanded for something or don't get the evaluation they wanted. I wonder why that is?

It's the culture of not accepting responsibility for themselves, if they don't get what they want, they blame somebody else. I could go into a lot more, but let's keep this thread in The Bonfire.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[NWFlyer 2]

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To expand. Chivalry is what you give extra to women because they're women. It's not free, and the cost is letting yourself be bound by assumptions.

At the risk of sending the Bonfire-only denizens into a topical forum, the irony is that this guy likely thinks that he is being chivalrous by protecting the poor menopausal women from themselves.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[wmw999 2,121]

No, he thinks has safety in mind. But, being chivalrous gives him the "right" to decide for us.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[vanair 0]

Not a guy gal thing and maybe off topic, but it seems like the corporate
world and maybe everyone has gone completely CYA. 7 yrs ago I briefly worked as a car salesman at a Caddy dealer in Union City NJ. I was sitting at my desk at the front of the showroom, only about 20' from the main street. I heard a screetch, turned in time to see a guy get hit by a car, went up and over it. I went out and knelt beside him and put my hands on his chest and forehead to keep him still. He was bleeding from his ears and trying to get up. I told him to try and lie still that help is on the way and that by moving he might hurt himself further. I was able to keep him fairly calm till help arrived. I then went back into the dealer to clean up as I had some blood on me. The owner looked at me and said "Why would you ever get involved like that?" I gave my two weeks notice and was fired on the spot. Last I heard they went out of business. Karma.

[futuredivot 0]

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But it's also tacky for a woman to wait at the door for a man to open it just because she's a woman,

Really? I consider my wife to be quite the lady and she allows me that honor even if she has to hold a step for me to get there. To me, tacky would be if she forgot that she was a lady and should be afforded certain courtesies. I really feel sorry for women who have determined that they are not, or been convinced that they are not deserving of that respect.

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[JerryBaumchen 1,048]

Hi John,

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Guys keep forgetting that the women are in charge.

+1 It took me a long time to learn that; but I ain't forgetting it.

JerryBaumchen

[skyrider 0]

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Hi John,

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Guys keep forgetting that the women are in charge.

+1 It took me a long time to learn that; but I ain't forgetting it.

JerryBaumchen

You say that like it is a bad thing...I am a kept man, opening a few doors and taking out the trash...fair trade!

[JohnMitchell 14]

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At the risk of sending the Bonfire-only denizens into a topical forum, the irony is that this guy likely thinks that he is being chivalrous by protecting the poor menopausal women from themselves.

Yep, if patriotism doesn't work, safety is the next refuge of the scoundrel.

Good to see ya at the Bonfire, Krisanne.

[virgigirlie 0]

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But it's also tacky for a woman to wait at the door for a man to open it just because she's a woman,

Really? I consider my wife to be quite the lady and she allows me that honor even if she has to hold a step for me to get there. To me, tacky would be if she forgot that she was a lady and should be afforded certain courtesies. I really feel sorry for women who have determined that they are not, or been convinced that they are not deserving of that respect.

But your wife knows that you want to open the door for her. I think it's different to expect just any man (or woman) to open the door for you and to stop so they can go ahead and get it.

And I don't think that women in general (and certainly speaking for myself) don't feel deserving of respect, we just don't necessarily associate door opening with respect (but do view it as thoughtful and appreciate it). I don't expect that someone owes me anything just because of my gender. I don't think I owe anyone anything because of their gender. I typically hold doors (restaurant, gas station, etc.) for the person behind me just because I think it's a nice thing to do - it's not a respect thing and I don't feel disrespected if someone doesn't open a door for me (although my boyfriend always does, and I always thank him).

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Catherine Aird

[JerryBaumchen 1,048]

Hi rider,

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+1 It took me a long time to learn that; but I ain't forgetting it.

You say that like it is a bad thing...

That's the problem with the 'net, you cannot know how I am saying something.

I say it as a GOOD thing; just way sorry that it took me so long to learn.

JerryBaumchen

[skyrider 0]

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Hi rider,

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+1 It took me a long time to learn that; but I ain't forgetting it.

You say that like it is a bad thing...

That's the problem with the 'net, you cannot know how I am saying something.

I say it as a GOOD thing; just way sorry that it took me so long to learn.

JerryBaumchen

Hell, with as poorly as I write, is impossible to know what I mean some times!