Nataly 38 #1 February 20, 2011 Just got off the phone with a friend who was telling me about the joys of shared parenting after a split. Holy crap!!! Much as I hate to admit it, I recognised a lot of the childish/retarded behaviour he described when my ex and I split... I can only imagine how much more emotionally charged things would have been (and still would be!) if kids were thrown into the picture... All I can say is I've got a *tremendous* amount of respect for divorcés who raise healthy, balanced kids - it must be bloody hard work... Edit: spelling"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #2 February 20, 2011 QuoteJust got off the phone with a friend who was telling me about the joys of shared parenting after a split. Holy crap!!! Much as I hate to admit it, I recognised a lot of the childish/retarded behaviour he described when my ex and I split... I can only imagine how much more emotionally charged things would have been (and still would be!) if kids were thrown into the picture... All I can say is I've got a *tremendous* amount of respect for divorcés who raise healthy, balanced kids - it must be bloody hard work... Edit: spelling It is . . .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #3 February 20, 2011 In your picture you look like you are 25, have you been married AND divorced? My parents split in '97 (I was 12). A little late to have a huge effect on development but I would hardly say I am balanced. It was nice to have double the bedroom space. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #4 February 20, 2011 Quote In your picture you look like you are 25, have you been married AND divorced? Thanks for saying I look 25!!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreePhly 0 #5 February 23, 2011 I am currently going through a divorce from my wife. We have a 5 year old. We've been separated for the past year. When we began the process, we both agreed that we wanted to minimize the impact on our child. If we want him to grow up a responsible adult, he needs to know what being a responsible adult looks like. We have joint custody, we work together to cover scheduling conflicts, and most importantly, never use him to get at the other. We talk often regarding school events, go together to meet the teacher on parents night, and most importantly, make sure he understands that our living apart has nothing to do with him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #6 February 23, 2011 All I have to say is THANKG GOD WE DID NOT HAVE KIDS! Everyone and their brother said my x and I should have had kids. Apparently she is cute and I'm ok looking so the kids would have looked good.....but I always said "NO" THANK GOD!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,401 #7 February 23, 2011 You said "No" to a chick? "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreePhly 0 #8 February 23, 2011 Oh, I can see that. It certainly would be much easier without my son. I would have been able to move away, start anew, etc. But, given the choice to do over, I would still go with having my son. There is nothing to compare that connection to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #9 February 23, 2011 Quote There is nothing to compare that connection to. I guess that's the price we pay for our freedom... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,155 #10 February 24, 2011 My son was 11 when we split up, and 13 when we actually divorced. We cooperated like that, and it was worth every single bitten tongue (i.e. not saying something when I felt like it). I'm sure his dad bit his tongue sometimes too. But out of the deal we have a healthy, happy 27-year-old son who loves both of his parents. He's employed, college is paid off, and he has a really nice girlfriend. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #11 February 24, 2011 Yeah, but they sure would be cute kids if they were yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
amstalder 0 #12 February 24, 2011 I don't think I know anyone that would take back their kids, regardless of how nasty the split was. I know my mommy wouldn't Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #13 February 24, 2011 Quote I don't think I know anyone that would take back their kids, regardless of how nasty the split was. I know my mommy wouldn't Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't want to un-have their kids, but I'm also pretty sure many would want to un-do some of the things they said/did..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreePhly 0 #14 February 24, 2011 Yea, I'm sure under the microscope, my tongue is riddled with scars There is a reason we split (thankfully not infidelity or something like that) and that won't change, but I really do want him to grow up healthy and with with an understanding about relationships that is not based on seeing his parents fight all the time. Congrats on your success and I hope for the best for my son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #15 February 24, 2011 Quote You said "No" to a chick? She must have been bigger than a size 8. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #16 February 24, 2011 I hate to say that I've seen divorced dads who couldn't have cared less about their children, emotionally, financially or otherwise. Pretty damn sad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TiaDanger 0 #17 February 24, 2011 Quote I hate to say that I've seen divorced dads who couldn't have cared less about their children, emotionally, financially or otherwise. Pretty damn sad. So you've met my dad, eh? He had one damn kid and couldn't give two shits. Haven't seen or heard from him in going on 11 years. Whatever.Yes, divorce sucks when you're a kid. You really do find out how important you are to your parents. Luckily, most parents seem to make the effort to stay in their kids' lives. And for those parents that do, it will mean the world to the kid when they grow up.And for the record: the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hover board, transporter, Batmobile, and THEN giant ant. D.S. #8.8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #18 February 24, 2011 Quote I hate to say that I've seen divorced dads who couldn't have cared less about their children, emotionally, financially or otherwise. Pretty damn sad. Well, in this particular case, the dad had to fight for about 6 months before the courts forced his ex to let him see the child. Despite this, she still regularly denied him his (legal) visitation rights. I'm sure there's a lot more to it, but that's pretty awful too..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jrmrangers 0 #19 February 24, 2011 It kills me when i hear stuff like that. Short of an abusive history on one of the parents part i dont understand how a court could possibly deny a parent time with their child. I know that would kill me or cause me to kill!!!Wait , I pull what first? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #20 February 25, 2011 Quote It kills me when i hear stuff like that. Short of an abusive history on one of the parents part i dont understand how a court could possibly deny a parent time with their child. I know that would kill me or cause me to kill!!! Yeah.. It's not the court that denies him access, it's the mother The court told her she had to give him regular access... Like I said, I don't know all the particulars, but I'm pretty sure she is not doing it for the child's benefit "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #21 February 25, 2011 Kids with the ex? After a very trying 20 years where I held it together for the kids...divorce while I was in Iraq. Once the oldest was of age, the ex told him he might not be mine. Not sure I had kids with the ex. Pretty confident about the daughter. I got custody.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
