My boyfriend overestimates my abilities...

[quade 3]

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Communicate. He probably has no idea that he is pushing you too hard. He may just have a very high opinion of you.

Not paying attention to your partner has consequences.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[rehmwa 2]

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Communicate. He probably has no idea that he is pushing you too hard. He may just have a very high opinion of you.

Not paying attention to your partner has consequences.

On that exact note - failing to calmly let them know what's going on when it happens is also "not paying attention to your partner". It's always a two way street

Communicating now in a partnering fashion is so much better than:

1 - waiting until the lid blows off ("I just can't take it any more") and making a huge deal out of it

2 - dumping someone without letting them know why (telling him to 'go on without you - for the rest of his life' makes a cute sound bite. and that's just about it)


I think the idea of checking out the route and having a conversation about having an easier out is great. It pretty much opens with the comment that the first few routes were just too much to handle at this time.

Amazon's note was great too - setting the common goal initially can take some off of the throttle without making it about one person being held back just to accommodate the other - one one pushed beyond limits to accommodate the other.


nataly - one question is pretty easy. Do you really enjoy hiking? or is this just trying out one of his things and you gave it a fair shot but don't really want to? If you don't like it, there's really nothing wrong with hiking being "his" thing that you don't do. It might be too soon to assess until you get to try at your pace first, though.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[davjohns 1]

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I really think he doesn't get that I am not uber-fit at the moment...

You might have the same problem as Valinda. You look super good, so they assume you're in great shape, etc.

Valinda hates it when doctors say "Well, you LOOK fine."

Not wishing to offend, my friend. But you put the emphasis in the wrong place. They actually say, "Well! You look FINE!"

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[JohnMitchell 14]

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Not wishing to offend, my friend. But you put the emphasis in the wrong place. They actually say, "Well! You look FINE!"

[Squeak 17]

Someone should plant friggin trees in Britain

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[pincheck 0]

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Someone should plant friggin trees in Britain

What to spoil the views, that's south of Hadrians wall

Pretty Much like Norway we did have forests lots of natural Pine but mostly gone you bloody foreigners come here for Deer and grouse shoots as well as the home of Whiskey

There are tree's here further in Glen Coe there is a forest in the Valley but on the upper slopes ..........forget it Rannoch moor is just outside and well

That's it
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/8006049040/

The hidden valley was hidden By the time i got to the second Munro

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/8006049040/

Confidence in navigation in this type of weather or in the dark is key up here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/8009281684/

This was its twin Etive Moor 2 years earlier

At the end of the trip

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/4810858539/

Beginning
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/4809856789/

Up top

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/4810547665/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/4810643720/

Looking back on the Climb up
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/4811162246/

My training hill 3 False summits and steep climb up with various options once there
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/6809882945/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9483441@N07/6806577647/


Hillwalking can be as much about mental ability as well as Physical I have always been able to shut my mind down to distance,weather or tough ground. I have in the past had to hang back and help encourage someone who was suffering from mental fatigue (i wasn't leading) but did have words with the leader later in private. As i also found sitting in the dark had to pick up another walking drained walker who tried to keep up with the leader. basicly burned out and not really for moving in Horizontal rain.

Some time the mental side can be tougher than the Physical

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[Nataly 38]

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Some time the mental side can be tougher than the Physical

Although I am not currently in tip top shape, I am no stranger to the concept of mind over matter... I agree that you can push yourself quite far, even when your body doesn't really feel up to it.

The original plan was for him to do a rather difficult route (by himself) that would have lasted about a week... Trouble is his knee has been bothering him of late, so he decided not to go at all. I thought I'd cheer him up by suggesting we do an easy trail together over the weekend. He was delighted - not the challenge he was looking forward to, but a not-so-bad compromise... Well, at the end of the hike, even he was in pain, and I explained to him again that 3-4 hours is really all I want to do in one day. I think he assumed if we went "slowly" the length/difficulty of the hike was irrelevant... However, his notion of "slow" is still too fast for me... I explained this as well. I think he gets it now.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shah269 0]

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Went hiking with the bf today... HOLY FUCKING CRAP is all I have to say... (That, and OWWWWWWIIIIEEEEEE!!)

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I'm lazy and all knowing so i'm not going to read what...31 posts and two pages!

All that needs to be said is this. You've dated the rest now date the best!

I mean really? WTF is up with white people? Camping? Hiking?

Camping? White people pretending to be homeless? What is he too cheap to get a nice hotel with a view? Yeah sleeping in the cold hard ground is so much fun compared to a spa?
Hiking? Really? I mean REALLY! Everyone knows any mountain worth getting to the top of either has a road or a gondola!

I’m telling you ladies, you need to stop dating these odd low fund mountain men. Why walk up a freaking mountain when you can sit in the passenger’s seat of a car that has heated seats get to the top have a nice lunch drive back down again…heated seats…..in time to spend a solid 6 hours of so making love!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[wasatchrider 0]

this is why I only hike up and not back down

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When you ascend a mountain you are giving your heart and your lungs a good workout. But it is the descent that makes you sore the next day. All that pounding can really do a number on your knees and other body parts, Those hiking poles (similar to ski poles) do help, but you will still take a pounding coming down.

BASE 1519

[pincheck 0]

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Some time the mental side can be tougher than the Physical

Although I am not currently in tip top shape, I am no stranger to the concept of mind over matter... I agree that you can push yourself quite far, even when your body doesn't really feel up to it.

The original plan was for him to do a rather difficult route (by himself) that would have lasted about a week... Trouble is his knee has been bothering him of late, so he decided not to go at all. I thought I'd cheer him up by suggesting we do an easy trail together over the weekend. He was delighted - not the challenge he was looking forward to, but a not-so-bad compromise... Well, at the end of the hike, even he was in pain, and I explained to him again that 3-4 hours is really all I want to do in one day. I think he assumed if we went "slowly" the length/difficulty of the hike was irrelevant... However, his notion of "slow" is still too fast for me... I explained this as well. I think he gets it now.

you don't really need strength for this. What you want to do is build up your stamina reserves and your mental mind set than pure power.

Experience should have told him not to attempt it, if he was carrying a injury Nataly. Especially excepting your kind offer to cheer him up. Another easier route would have been better. I know the frustration of putting of the adventurous walks, currently had a walk planned for the most northerly Munro which is a serious 6 hours drive to get to with good weather for Photographs(weather has been pants/crap ).

Funny thing is its usually tends to be to experienced people who hop from stone to stone or move faster than recommend and over estimates their ability. Than the more cautious newbie who will place feet slower and be more attentive to placing feet and moving in a more organised way as the who is more. For new walkers its always good to start off small and steadily build difficulty or hight up in a gradual way. Me i have only in the last year been hillwalking again after a year out with my motorbike accident and i gradually built my stamina back up. I have a training hill i now well and have used to build that stamina over the years.

Try again if you like the idea some the sites you see can be breath taking and will Knock your socks off , if you feel its not for you try country parks with organised routes and perhaps Ranger excursions. I don't really Know how you guys in the USA are organised so perhaps one of the others would be best Chipping. As already mentioned good equipment/ gear(especially boots) is worth its weight in gold

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun