What is the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

***Banged my wife on the conference table after hours when we were the only ones there, with a nice view of the city lights through the floor to ceiling windows.

That sounds a hell of a lot more productive than most of the time I've spent in conference rooms.

For damn sure, especially in my case. I can't hear so why should I sit there pretending to listen to a bunch of assholes?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wildcard451 0]

a couple of nurses.

[rifleman 61]

I acted perfectly professionally - I just got the EOD team to carry out a controlled detonation on my platoon commander's nice shiny new car on the day he bought it.

The walking clusterf*ck parked it inside the camp in an area close to the company offices without a security tag and with a large box wedged in the back seat. He then left it unattended and went out to the assault course to have a chat to one of the other platoon commanders.

Turns out he hadn't even sorted the insurance out yet.

Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

[aerobirdboy 0]

Laughed in the face of a client once, very loudly. Hell I almost pointed and laughed. In fairness, she had tourettes and was moo-ing like an angry cow. That might have got me fired but my boss had to run away and go hide in his office. He damn near had an embolism laughing.

This looked easier on youtube.....

[Nataly 38]

It's a toss up between this and drawing a cartoon of my boss and posting it on the whiteboard for everyone to see. To be fair, the cartoon *was* funny and I never would have done it if I didn't have the world's coolest boss!!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[RMK 3]

The dream of anyone who has ever had a job as a waiter/waitress...

I had a side job as a waiter in university. On one of my last shifts, 5 days before graduating and moving 1000 miles away to start my career, I have a table of six businessmen (I use the term loosely as this was a near Michelin star quality restaurant and this group weren’t exactly like the typical clientele). After some exemplary service, the guy leaves me a sub 5% tip on a large bill. I’m incensed and run up to meet him before he leaves out the front door. I catch up to him and ask “Sir, was there any problem with the service?” He replies “no” and turns his back to me to walk out. As he’s stepping out the door, I grab him by the arm and yank him back in and then get inches from his face and say much louder “I SAID WAS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE SERVICE?”

He’s initially stunned – a 22 year old kid has grabbed him (a late middle-age man) and yelled at him like an unruly child in front of his five business colleagues. He comes to his senses and then shouts to me “go get me the manager; I want to speak to the manager. I’m shaking with adrenaline as I really wanted to punch him, but don’t want to start my career with an assault charge. Without taking my eyes off him, I calmly sit down in a chair behind me, cross my arms and say “Fuck you; go get the manager yourself”.

Not gentlemanly actions, but it still makes me smile to remember the incident.

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to attend his classes"

[Jbag 0]

jerked off.

IHYD

[Andy9o8 0]

Jbag

jerked off.

I think she means something most other people haven't done.

[turtlespeed 212]

Andy9o8

***jerked off.

I think she means something most other people haven't done.

Work.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[shropshire 0]

I turned up once.

I can't believe that I ever did that

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[turtlespeed 212]

shropshire

I turned up once.

I can't believe that I ever did that

Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

I wouldn't say I've been MISSING it.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[shropshire 0]

So looking forward to being retired

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[PixieUK 0]

I was working on an insane project as a contractor and the guy I was seeing at the time had just finished his role and was still living close to the office before he moved across the country to his new job.

A complete idiot of a seagull manager was trying to take control without any comprehension of the complexities of the programme or the politics of the consortium and it was really hard work trying to make him see sense. One day, he called a panic meeting at the end of the day and dragged me and another guy over the coals for yet another issue he really didn't understand. It was commonplace for people to text and answer emails on their phones during meetings as we were in total crisis management so I sent a text to my boyfriend basically saying "In a meeting with x, I'm bored, talk dirty to me", thinking he would entertain me until I could escape.

The response was so graphic that I set the alarm on my phone for 1 minute, when it rang I pretended it was an incoming call, managed 30 seconds of pretending to answer a panicking subordinate and fled the office on the pretext of sorting the crisis. I was in my boyfriends flat less than 10 minutes later......

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr

[JohnMitchell 14]

PixieUK

The response was so graphic that I set the alarm on my phone for 1 minute, when it rang I pretended it was an incoming call, managed 30 seconds of pretending to answer a panicking subordinate and fled the office on the pretext of sorting the crisis. I was in my boyfriends flat less than 10 minutes later......

Sounds like the most professional thing to do in that situation.

Thanks for the story.