StangMan90

Grant Deed simplify

If you ever get a chance to see The House Jacks live, they are incredible. All vocal and they can do just about everything. They can mimic almost any instrument as well. Very entertaining. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHKAJM_L9uU Joe simplify

Thanks to my mom, I've really enjoyed all the wonderful psychotherapy sessions I've needed over the years and the fact that my favorite color is flat black. Just to show my loving appreciation for the way she brought me up, every now and then I like to take the time to leave something special on her grave. Joe simplify

Too bad I have to work on the evenings that my wife and her workmates have their monthly tequila blender drink party. Otherwise, I'd be getting laid at least once a month. Joe simplify

I'll be there for all four days, even though SkyDance is a grueling 15-minute drive from my house. Joe simplify

This thread has a familiar ring. I envy those who have the time to make skydiving a high priority. I have a demanding and time-consuming job, a wife, two college-aged kids, a house and four cars to maintain, two cats and a dog. There is nothing I'd like more than to spend more time at the DZ. Unfortunately, the winds, rain and my schedule have stood in the way for the past month. That's the way it goes sometimes. Besides, when I started AFF last October, I explained to my instructors that because of my "other life" it might take me a bit longer than average to complete training, and so far, it hasn't been a problem for anybody (me or them). As far as not feeling welcomed as a newcomer, or being razzed because of low jump numbers and frequency, I have experienced the exact polar opposite. My instructors have been nothing but supportive, approachable and always willing to answer questions; and the experienced regulars at my home DZ have all been very nice (especially when I show up with beer and pizza). Sounds to me like you need to find a home DZ with the snob-knob turned down a bit. So far, surprisingly (yeah, right), the only place I've been belittled and berated is on this website. Joe simplify

I totally regret making that video of myself. Sorry. Joe simplify

Before you change to a custom color, check out this website. I'm a purist and prefer factory-correct colors to match the VIN, but if you decide to change to a different factory finish than the one it came with, there are a lot of choices. http://www.autocolorlibrary.com Joe simplify

Check out some of the products here. Watch your wallet, though. Try to get only what you really need. I dare ya. http://www.topoftheline.com/index.html simplify

I agree, it's really boring on TV, but go to a local paved short track that has regional NASCAR races (the minor leagues of NASCAR), sit about 10 rows back and watch mechanized gladiators bump, scrape and bash their way to the finish line. When the action starts on a beautiful summer night and you start smelling racing fuel, burning rubber and hot brakes while you're enjoying your favorite adult beverage and a tri-tip sandwich, it's no longer boring. Try it just once. Ahh, Stockton 99 is calling me to the next racing night. Joe simplify

My brother (who was a great golfer) tried his best with me, but the only part I really liked was chilling out with cold brews at the 19th Hole. Besides, any sport in which you can drink beer and smoke a cigar while doing it can't really be called a sport. Can it? Joe simplify

Sacramento is nice and affordable. Lots of live music, SF Bay Area is 90 miles away with lots more live music. Reno and Tahoe are a couple of hours away and there are a bunch of DZs within reasonable distance. I've lived down south and Norcal is way better in my opinion (but that's just me). Socal is okay if you don't mind smoggy air, horrible traffic, asshole drivers, plastic surgery freaks and inflated egos. Joe simplify

Sorry, watching golf on TV interferes with my pottery-making show on PBS, which is much more exciting. Joe simplify

Personally, I like to stay away from anything that can commonly be referred to as "piss" or "shit". But hey, that's just me. Call me old-fashioned in that respect. Joe simplify

If that was a typo and you meant to say "Stangman", I think I like "Strangeman" better. It is such much more descriptive of my true being. If you meant someone else: Dang! All the good names are taken. Joe simplify

I never really thought of theme parks as good places to meet women, so I really can't think of theme-park-specific pickup strategies targeting single moms who live with their moms. School, social groups and organized outdoor group activities provide a more relaxed atmosphere. That being said, ignore this: 1. If you don't like being around kids, don't date their moms. 2. You will always take a back seat to the kids in her life. 3. You will get much less sexual attention than a young guy thinks he deserves. 4. She will always think of you as a potential contributing child raiser first and a hot stud second. Nothing personal about that, just human nature. 5. There is a good possibility some jerk sperm donor (the father of her kids) will occasionally toss emotional turds at your relationship with her. 6. Kiss your skydiving time and money goodbye. A bit of advice a long time ago from a good friend helped tremendously in my 20s: 1. Date women that are 5-10 years older than you, preferably without kids, unless you really like kids. 2. Don't be afraid of the awesome passion and sexual power of Plain Jane. Hot looking women sometimes spend a great deal of time, money and mindshare on merely looking hot and being "all that". You don't need all that. Good hunting. Joe simplify

I hear that something called "Cat Piss" is better for you. Let me know when you try that. Joe simplify

Thanks! He is a very humble and modest man. Most people don't know the half of his stature, starting with his service in the Pacific during WWII in the Marine Corps, then to Korea in the Army, and finally Viet Nam before he retired. Plus more than 40 years volunteer work with the Special Olympics. Dayum! Makes me feel kinda small. To me, he's never been an inch shorter than 10 feet tall. Joe simplify

Check out this video to see my Dad (Gene Calabro) cut the ribbon on the world's largest women's sporting event (actual fact). For years he lobbied to have the event moved to El Paso. He's the little guy in the grey suit. Fast forward to about 31:30. He will also be honored with El Paso's "Spirit of Amigo" award this year as an individual recipient (there have been only two individual recipients so far in the past, one of which is his good friend, the late Coach Don Haskins). I believe last year's recipient was the Sun Bowl Association. The conservative estimate is that the tournament will bring more than $40 million into the local economy over the next 100 days. BTW: In case you're wondering after you watch: I'm a HORRIBLE bowler. He's 86 years old and can still out-bowl me. I'm glad I got the "skydiving speech" from my bowling instructor. http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/5759732 Joe simplify

My oldest brother was a cop back in the 70s, before tasers and pepper spray. Then, the "less-lethal" solution was called a "night stick". Intentional strikes to the head were strictly forbidden. However, arms, legs, joints and asses were fair targets. Broken limbs mend a lot more easily than broken nervous systems. The only drawback is that one must get up close and personal to use it. I believe the favored target at that time was the kneecap. The saying: "One blow and you're good to go." Ouch! Ahh . . . I long for the simpler times. Joe simplify

With a 10% "raise" I'd think: Finally, my pay is back to where it was before they cut it last year. May 1, 2009 - three years worth of "cost-of-living" increases were magically erased from the entire staff's payroll - the very day I returned to work after six months of recovering subsequent to a 12-day hospital stay. So in my case, I wouldn't exactly call it a raise. Joe simplify

I've use Macs since the 80s. What exactly does a computer virus look like? I've never gotten one.

It wasn't the beard that needed retraining for me. It was me. I put away the cartridge coochie razor and started shaving with a straight razor four years ago. I use one now that is about 100 years old (that's when that model ceased being produced) and still shaves perfectly. Super badger brush, Kiss My Face shave cream. One pass with the grain. Another pass against the grain. Finally, a water-only touch-up to "round up the strays". I don't shave every day, but when I do it's baby-butt smooth, no burns, no nicks and no bumps the next day. Downside: you have to do it a couple hundred times and shed a bit of blood before you get any good at it. My kind of challenge. Joe simplify

Oh, I forgot. Tell her all that extra bathroom time is caused by that Ostrich jerky and you'll have to stop eating it. You could kill two Ostriches with one boomerang. Joe simplify

You'll never get away with it. My wife can smell when I've been cheatin'. Especially watch out for telltale signs like chocolate on the collar. Gets me busted every time. Joe simplify