StangMan90

One of the main reasons my wife doesn't have a problem with me skydiving is that our kids are for the most part, "launch-ready", meaning my son is going to be 21 in September and my daughter will be 18 in January and they know everything there is to know about everything (right). I just started last October, but I don't think it would have been possible (for me, anyway) when my kids were younger and needed me the most. But now, I'm just a clueless nuisance to them (except when they need money), so that's my green light. I guess since I'm so clueless, I'll just have to start spending their inheritance now. DOOR! Joe simplify

Is he from South Dakota? If so, think. simplify

My wife has been a Physical Therapy Assistant since the 70s and she would definitely tell you that no two patients respond exactly alike. Some people end up doing extremely well after a major stroke, and some patients don't do very well even after a minor one. The only common trait in most of the ones that do well is that they really WANT to get well and work really hard to come back. Usually the ones that don't do well are because they either don't want to get well (go figure) or they don't want to do the hard work (human nature), or they have other health problems exasperating the situation. Just keep doing what your healthcare providers recommend (especially PTs and OTs), don't give up, and have patience. I've personally seen some of my wife's patients make incredible progress because of their dedication to getting better and willingness to do all the work. Best wishes for your recovery. I'm betting you'll do better than you think. Joe simplify

Obviously, I'm not an old-timer in skydiving, but in years on the planet, I am. I'm one jump away from self-supervision, but I've brought beer and pizza to the DZ a couple of times just to be friendly and meet people. My personal DZ beer-buying rule will always be: "When in doubt, whip it out." So far, it has worked well to help "break the ice" with the experts. Don't feel bad about leaving when you're wiped out. It's pretty common (especially in my age group). Nobody will think you are being any less friendly for it. As far as tipping goes, I feel that money is an impersonal thing to give to someone doing something really personal (like teaching me how not to die), so after my first jump I gave personal gifts (things with meanings attached to them) to my instructors. However, I agree that they should be making a lot more money for what they do (that goes for school teachers, firefighters, police, and everyone in the military as well). I did give a cash tip to one of my JMs once after a not-so-good AFF jump (all my fault). He tried to refuse, but I told him it wasn't for him, but suggested it was for the babysitter he was going to hire before telling his wife they were going out on a surprise date that night without the kids. I'm not sure if he did that, but I hope so. I hope that helps. In the end, though, I was told by one of the instructor/riggers at my home DZ that the decision to "beer or not to beer" is always up to the individual and that tipping isn't expected, but usually appreciated. Joe simplify

Two farm boys are walking down a country road and see a big ugly dog on a porch, licking his balls. The first farm boy says: "Boy, howdy! I wish I could do that!" The other replies: "You probably can if you pet him first and give him a treat." simplify

Too much information. simplify

1. Rush Limbaugh 2. Rush Limbaugh (again, but in the nuts this time). 3. Dennis Kucinich (to watch him cry like Glenn Beck). 4. Jessie James (with a wife like that? You idiot!) 5. Republicans (for being cold, shameless bullies). 6. Democrats (for being bleeding-heart, spineless pussies). 7. Tiger Woods (with a wife like that? You idiot!). 8. Glenn Beck (crybaby!) 9. Sean Hannity (How about I waterboard you with recycled beer?) 10. Bill Clinton (with a wife that that? No . . . I take that back. Never mind). simplify

Thanks, Sparky. Very well put. No worries. I spent 4 years on staff at an air wing command headquarters when I was in the Navy, so I'm very familiar with the "give the rookie a hard time" routine. It comes with the territory and it's all good as far as I'm concerned. BTW: I've been reluctant to put this out there, but since day-1 with skydiving I've had a fear of hearing the "bowling speech", especially since my Dad is a member of the Texas Bowling Association Hall of Fame. Truth.

If a woman says to me: "You're really cute!" I'll say: "Thanks!" If she says: "Your car is really cute!" And I say: "Damn! Now I have to sell it. Interested?" She'll probably think: "Oh, great, now he's trying to get cute with me." Guys, there's no winning this one. Joe simplify

"Welcome to DZ.com, Joe, and the beginning of the end of any idealistic notions you may have had about skydivers and skydiving. Let the more cynical enjoyment of the sport begin." ________________________ Thanks, Krisanne. Hope to see you Saturday out at SkyDance. Joe simplify

"Lol ever considered that they might be right (too)? Nobody was rude, they just argued a different opinion." _______________________ Thanks, I wasn't thinking anyone was being rude, especially since it didn't appear that anyone was getting too personal. I've worked for lawyers for over 20 years, so I know the drill about arguing one's opinion. I'm the first to admit that as a newcomer, I don't know squat about skydiving compared to those with lots of experience (like my instructors, whose face-to-face advice and recommendations take utmost priority over all others, especially over the "instructional information" shared on this website). I'm sure those who responded are all correct in one way or another. But just because I'm new doesn't mean I'm stupid, it just means I have more to learn. Thanks for helping me out with that, guys. Seriously. Joe simplify

"Cut him a break Dave, once he has a couple thousand jumps and his PPL ... " ______________________ Thanks, I'm working on it. I'll check back in after that's accomplished. Give me a little time. _________________________ "Maybe not, but you sure bought what he was selling!" _________________________ If I had an extra $1.2 million laying around needing to be spent on a new aircraft, I think I'd seriously consider a PAC 750. That will have to wait until the above-mentioned accomplishments have been achieved, though. _________________________ "Just remember where the Pac's tail is...." _________________________ I hope not between my legs like my tail is! You skygods are totally awesome! Thanks for putting me in my place! Joe simplify

"If you go to a Subaru dealership, they'll tell you that all of their cars are equipped with all-wheel drive, and that it helps them to hold the road in slippery conditions. While this may be true, they don't go out of their way to tell you that Audi, BMW, Mercedes also produce cars with all-wheel drive, now do they?" _______________ So, let's test that logic. PAC 750 is a Subaru. Does that mean that a Twin Otter is the BMW? Skyvan is the Mercedes? Surely you can come up with something better than that. Yes, I know that Ray imports PAC 750s. That doesn't change the hard engineering facts about the other aircraft. Besides, he knows I won't have the cash for a new PAC 750 until at least next payday, so I'm sure he wasn't trying to sell me one. Joe simplify

I watched a presentation this past weekend for Safety Day out at SkyDance in Davis, CA where Ray Ferrell showed charts and data concerning stall situations regarding floaters vs. airspeed and how many jumpers are waiting in line and where. This was for the most commonly used aircraft in skydiving (Otters, Skyvans, PAC 750s, etc.) Why don't you ask him his opinion? Or was he lying when he told us that a PAC 750 flying at 95 knots could have floaters hanging out all day long without a problem? If I remember correctly, he said that if a pilot is trying to fly at 75 knots with floaters, then there might be a problem. At least that's what I remember. But since I don't know s**t compared to the experienced skydivers on this site who know so much more about airplanes than I do, I'll stick with Ray's opinion. Fellow attendees of SkyDance 2010 Safety Day chime in any time. Ask anyone who was there what their opinions are about which airplane is most stable for skydiving. One thing you can count on with the forums on this site: Somebody is always ready to pounce and contradict. I really enjoy keeping up with some of the cyber-spats that develop. It keeps things lively and un-boring. Peace out. Joe simplify

"I think a Triathlon is a great canopy for beginners that will also serve you well as an expereinced jumper, just keep the wing loading safe. I jump one and I love it." ________________________________________ Just ordered a Triathlon (WL 1:1) on Sunday. So far, I haven't heard anything bad about them, other than "boring" and "slow" from high jump number fun hogs. I'm new enough that everything about skydiving is very exciting, slow canopy flights included. Besides, I've worked for tax attorneys for the past 13 years. I'm "bore-proof". Go ahead, try to bore me, I dare ya! Joe simplify

Right you are! I like visual aids myself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNpT-lZLC4A simplify

"OK, I was just wanting you to know that the USPA Group Membership program does not assure anything, and that not being a Group Member does not mean a DZ is less safe." ______________________________________________ Thanks to a few PMs I've exchanged since this thread started, I understand that now. Good point. Sort of like: "Outlaw motorcycle club membership does not assure anything, and not being an outlaw motorcycle club member does not mean a rider is less bad-assed." Yeah, that works for me. Thanks. Joe simplify

"Joe, what goods and services are you referring to that are officially certified?" __________________________ "Officially certified" is probably the wrong term. Fair enough. But to explain, when I choose a doctor, I go with the best AMA Board-Certified one I can find (credentials). When I choose a vehicle, I check out the official safety ratings. If I need an attorney, I don't do price comparisons and go with the cheapest one, I go with the best I can afford (again, credentials). When I get my taxes done, I don't rely on "professional" tax preparers who work out of their homes, I go with proven professionals with real offices. I go with the best verifiable quality I can afford and I'm rarely disappointed with my choices. But that's just me. But hopefully this answers your question. From the USPA website: "No organization rates the relative safety of skydiving schools, but USPA Group Member skydiving centers have pledged to follow USPA Basic Safety Requirements, including providing USPA-developed first-jump courses, using current USPA-rated instructors and providing USPA-required skydiving equipment." Do those qualify as goods and services? USPA Group Membership represents a valid credentialing source for licensing, and whatever you want to call them, their safety and training standards are worthy of a pledge of adherence. I'm not a gambler, I'm a beginner, and even if the "USPA TC" designation is just an unnecessary placebo, as some might believe, so be it. I just know that right now, for me, it helps me feel more secure, comfortable and relaxed with my training. Now, do your best to try to convince me that's a bad thing. Joe simplify

"Hum Lodi, CA seems to be by far the cheapest (if i read the website correctly) and I like the against 'the man' style. Also got family in Sacramento so if it is close it might be just the right fit. " _________________________________ Personally, I like where I'm taking instruction: SkyDance Skydiving in Davis (near Sacramento) is USPA Training Center, and when it comes to placing my life in someone's hands, I'll go with "the man" any day. The A-License package there is $2,000. So far, it has been great for me and I always feel safe. I have not had a single problem of any kind with any of my instructors. Somehow, I wouldn't want to compromise that secure feeling just to save a little money. Plus, they fly what has proven to be the most stable platform for skydiving (PAC 750), and I haven't heard of any aircraft incidents or certification problems there. Do a bit more "digging" before you make your decision. But that's just how I feel. Your need to save money is understandable and some compromises are inevitable (e.g., entry-level versus bells-and-whistles gear). Skydiving isn't cheap, but as with everything, there is no substitute for goods and services that are officially certified for their high quality, especially when one's life is at stake. Good luck with your final decision. Joe simplify

"wait, so no-one here knows this guy, seems kind of odd i think. " __________________________ Figuratively speaking, I think everyone here knows this guy. simplify

_____________ "That is an old one. One that I posted several years ago. Still funny as hell though." _____________ I should have assumed that something that hilarious would have already made it to this forum. I'd never seen it before. simplify

My Dad sent this to me: JUST TRY READING THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING UNTIL YOU CRY!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie . What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5” long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!” What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.? I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, “don’t do it dumby,” reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative. IT HURT!!! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling . Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’ m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return! P.S... My wife, who can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!! simplify

2. People who down-size no faster than allowed by Brian Germain's chart will be done with their first rig in a couple years and 400 jumps. you don't want to be ordering a new rig. Some people try to get a rig that they can "grow into" that's too small to use safely at the time they buy it, although with the high cost of lost work, co-insurance, and medical deductibles that often isn't cheaper in the long run. 400 jumps in the first two years would be a bit much for a guy my age, and as far as I'm concerned, I'll consider myself a novice until I have at least 500 jumps and will be flying conservatively wing loaded canopies after that (I'm old, not bold). When I'm ready for something new, I'll have something to pass to my son (he's 20), who will probably take up skydiving with me as soon as he can afford it (not soon). Whilst still doing AFF or static line jumps you want to wait until you're sure you'll continue and know at least a little bit. The size thing is the rub for me. I'm a bit larger than average and at the bottom-end of my personal weight fluctuations, appropriately-sized harness/containers are extremely difficult to find. Also, the one I want (won't mention the brand) can handle two main canopy downsizings. I'm not doing it so I can start jumping my own gear before I get an A License (it's all including in the package that I bought anyway). I'm doing it so I don't have to compromise on fit and comfort on openings. I'm getting too old to go home with aches and bruises (even with a perfect opening) every weekend. I think I can just about handle 17 more jumps on student gear. And then there's that potential rental nightmare scenario: Beautiful day. Have the whole day to myself to jump. No rental gear available due to high demand. Go home pissed off. No thanks. simplify

With some of the long manufacturing times for custom-fitted container/harness systems (20+ weeks for the slowest) one could conceivably have earned an A license long before it arrives. Canopies are a different story, and within a given range of appropriate novice sizes, there are all kinds of possibilities and shorter wait times that won't slurp down entire season. The one thing I know for sure: The sooner I can stop getting beat up and bruised by not-so-great-fitting student/rental harnesses, the better. Just my two cents, with full acknowledgment that I don't know s**t. Joe simplify

The way it's worked out SO FAR with me and my wife of 22 years: 1. Skydiving is my thing, not hers, and she's okay with it, SO FAR. Besides, she's got her own activities that don't involve me, which is great. 2. Balance of time, mindshare and expenses is what we've been working towards so that neither of us is hogging it all. That's been working out well SO FAR (four and a half months). Stay tuned. 3. As long as I can walk in the door safe and sound after a jump day, everything is cool. I should add that my wife is incredible for putting up with me for so many years (lucky me) and we've been through much muddier water than uneventful skydiving could kick up, so I have high hopes SO FAR. Best of luck for all those people new to skydiving like me who are in a committed relationship that have to find a way to make it work with their non-skydiving S.O. At this point, I couldn't imagine the nightmare of having to deal with an ultimatum from my wife. Joe simplify