Atlas

First one is a picture of my big dog during a thunder storm. She is the most annoying dog you'll ever find when it comes to thunder. She gets scared, shakes, sheds, and climbs in your lap (She weighs about 45 pounds..). Not a lap dog! The second picture is of all three dogs having taken over the couch. The furball on the bottom is Hannah, above her, the dachsund with alien eyes is April, and we all know Sandy :) Great dogs, and almost always in the mood to play.... except when they're on the couch. They are the only three females that like watching anything us guys want to watch :P

High: Waking up. Low: Going to sleep.

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An Attempt... kinda messy selection of the sky, but it gets the point across. And the 60k limit is killer on picture quality :( If you like.. just take the original.. Auto levels, auto contrast, and auto color it. Run it through a curve, and move the curve slightly up and to the left so it makes a bit of a an arc (small or until you find it looks nice). Then select the entire sky, and color balance it. Then invert selection and color balance it too.

According to dictionary.com they misspelled millennium http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=millennium bastards.

It's unfortunate that good news doesn't get as many responses as bad news. The reason being, in my opinion, is bad news is easy to defend / argued about. Good news has to be taken as it is, so all of these argument hungry people don't have anything to say. :) But thanks for posting it, I never read news sites, simply for the reason that 90% of the news is crap. Edit: I read slashdot instead :)

I'm 99 Inches tall, have 320 pounds of Diesel muscle, 10 tattoos, 8 of which are gang related. I have killed people, I belong to a gang, and my mouth isn't purty. I can run the jailyard. Hah.

I'd have to say the biggest giveaway was when one of the doctors (researchers...) said she was doing it as often as she could. Yeah, that's professional :P

Heh, that was if the entire roll was turned around. Not just one or two people :) Meaning that rarely would a man pursue a woman, but women would be the ones who asked for phone numbers, and the ones who asked for / arranged dates. 99% of the time.

Another note.. a friend of mine has a toilet seat that will NOT stay up. You have to hold the lid and seat up with your knee while you do your business, so that way when you're finished, it will always be put down :)

I'm with skybytch on this one. I put the seat and the lid down when I'm finished. Unfortunately I am having to break my uncouth roomate into that habbit. Oh well :)

A friend in need. Cliche(accent), but it's my philosophy.

What do you call a Norwegian car? A fjord -------------------------------------------------------- What did the 0 say to the 8? "Nice belt" -------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you cross a Chinese guy and a Mexican? Someone who steals a car he doesn't know how to drive. -------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you cross a Pollack and an Italian? An offer you can't understand. -------------------------------------------------------- Potentially & Realistically A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that. So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million could buy?" The boy pondered that for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, sir. Potentially, we're sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a fag." ---------------------------------------------------- What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory, thinking she's making little sleeping bags for mice. ---------------------------------------------------- A trucker, who makes a habit of hitting lawyers he sees on the side of the road with his rig, stops to pick up an old nun. After they've put on some miles, and have run out of small talk, he sees a lawyer on the side of the road, walking with the traffic. He instinctively heads for him, but at the last second - realizing he's in the presence of a person of God - jerks the wheel away, bumper narrowly missing the man. He exclaims "Sorry I almost hit that lawyer back there, I don't know what came over me!" To which the nun replies "It's ok, my son, I got him with the door." ---------------------------------------------------------- What's hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the middle, begins with a C and ends with a T? A coconut. --------------------------------------------------------- A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a long grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man, "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the old man wouldn't hear, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's easy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post." ----------------------------------------------------------- The unthinkable happens in the saccharine land of Disney: Mickey and Minnie decide to divorce. They present their cases to the judge, who says to Mickey, "Mr. Mouse, I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Your wife seems quite sane." Mickey says, "I didn't say she was insane, I said she was fucking Goofy!" --------------------------------------------------------- A doctor was with a patient, when suddenly she cried out, "Doctor--kiss me!" "I can't, ma'am," he said. "Though you're very beautiful, it's against the code of ethics and law." Still the woman cried out, "Doctor! Please--kiss me!" The doctor shook his head. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I can't kiss you. I'll lose my job!" The woman cried out one last time, "Please! For the love of god--kiss me, doctor!" "Goddamn it, woman!" the doctor chastized. "I can't kiss you! I'll get fired and lose my licence!" "In that case," the woman said, "stop fucking me!" ----------------------------- On his dying day, Mr. Jones's wife was sitting by his bedside stroking his clammy hand and whispering comforting things as he moaned and writhed in agony. "It's alright," she was saying, "...go to god now, you have no more worries..." She gave him a sip of warm broth. "No, no, I feel terrible! I've don'e terrible things, o my darling Anna!" He whimpered in his fever, clutching his burning belly. "Shh, shh," replied his wife. "Have a little broth, it will help." "Let me he explain...I...I...slept with your best friend." "Shhh," said Anna, only nodding calmly. "I know..." She held another sip to his trembling lips. A little offended at her lack of reaction, he continued fervently: "And your sister!" "Shhh, I know. Have some broth." "And your mother!" "Shhh, I know. Just drink your broth" "I've had sex with almost ten women during our marriage! And...and..." "Shhh, I know...that's why I poisoned your broth." ------------------------------------------ a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap. The shrink says to the guy, "I can clearly see your nuts." ------------------------------------------- A duck walks into a bar and says "You got any bread"? The Bartender said "No sir we don't, we don't serve bread, only alchaholic and soft beverages sir." The next day the duck is back, "Got any bread?" "No sir" says the barman "No bread" The next day the duck comes back "Got any bread?" "Look" says the bar man "If you come in here asking for bread again, i'm gonna nail your beak to the bar!" "Got any nails? said the duck "No" said the barman "Got any bread?" --------------------------------------------- By the way.. The Duck Joke is going to be hilarious when I get the chance to tell it to someone :) (And no, that last joke is not The Duck Joke, it's a duck joke *grin*)

At one point I was driving along and came across a truck with a bumper sticker that said: "Master Baits, For the fisherman that fishes alone." Easily applicable to a T-Shirt :)

You can't forget the eternal words of Louis from "Revenge of the Nerds" It was on this morning, on comedy central :) Girl:"Wow, you were so good. Are all geeks as good as you?" Louis:"Yes" Girl:"Really? Why..? (In a pleasured voice)" Louis:"Because all jocks think about are sports, and all we think about is sex" And it's true ! *grin*

Quick little joke.. A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat, and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “Business trip or vacation?” The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.” The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really,” he says. “What myths are those?” “Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.” Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!” “Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.” OLD JOKE: Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s getting tired of it. He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of each gift he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Justin’s father asks him what he wants for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.” On Christmas morning, Justin wakes up and rolls into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walks downstairs and sees another pile under the tree. He walks outside, looks at a huge pile of dog poo by the garage, and walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, “What did Santa bring you this year?” Justin replies, “I think I got a goddamn dog, but I can’t find the son of a bitch!”

I've got a bit of an outside theory here... Boldly stating the theory up front: If women were the pursuers, men would be considered the mysterious gender. Now, this presents quite a few interesting ways to get into the female mind. Take everything you say, and see what you would think if she said it to you, if you weren't totally/completely/absolutely interested in her. This will probably get you an idea of what she is going to think. It's, unfortunately, a lot more simple than most people seem to make it. What makes you want a woman more than anything? When you can't have her. What makes a woman want you more than anything? When she can't have you. (Alright, this is a broad generalization, but this is just for the starting of dating, not furthur into relationships, although you definiately DO NOT want to make yourself available on her slightest whim, because she will, most like, feel that you are not as valuable as you really are, even though you're doing your best to be the best to her [ This comes from personal experience, unfortunately]) It's late, so my rambling is probably a bit inane, but I'll keep it short, and end it here. EDIT: Ahh yes... and I agree with the following rule RULE: Never date your best friend's sister. If you're around all the time, she's going to get tired of you after a while. Disclaimer: These are from the point of view of a 19 year old guy who has had one hell of an experience. All items in this post are from a guy's prospective. If you'd like my story... It's quite interesting, but very, very long... then PM me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/10/travel/escapes/10RACE.html I wish they would have this stuff around here. !!

Hmmm.. I wonder if my arms will live up to my screen name... *thinks about it* edit: Alright, well I think you're gonna have to tell me. In my opinion they don't live up to Atlas, but I'm working on them :) You can also check out my farmer's tan :)

Lets see if anyone's chair beats the weirdness of mine... *grin* The headrest moves, and the back is mesh.. It's comfortable sometimes hehe. (Decor is horrible isn't it? It's my wonderful dorm room :)) Oh, and while we're posting weird things, here's a picture (The second one.. ) of the flood taking place at my school right now... The place where the water is... should be grass, and a sidewalk. The gold car is mine... Figured I'd be best off with my front end on the curb..

Pfft, I grew up with dog toys... shows how much fun I had! :)

Hah, doin great, 'cept for the fact that I don't have enough money to jump. I would really like to get into it, but just like any of the other good hobbies, it costs money which I have to spend on taking classes :/ I am going to get a job and have enough money so I can start this summer, though, hopefully. :) And how YOU doin?

Haha, Rebecca :) Thanks :P I live in Houston too heh.. Actually, I'm in Beaumont right now attending college.

Most everything that I don't eat gets bought online :) It's cheaper, most of the time, and has no tax. The shipping is usually cheaper than the tax (8.25%), so it's worth it. Make sure you check out the source before you buy. Amazon.com - no problems Newegg.com - no problems Jazztechnology.com - no problems Tigerdirect.com - no problems There are a ton of places out there... just do a search on google or whatever when you find a new place. Get some reviews on them, and see how they rate.

Heh, aye, lighting problems :) I'm new to the whole digicam thing, so it's taking me a while to get used to the light settings. I tried turning the flash off and it went berzerk and blurry. Oh well, photography is just not my bag baby... :P