2fat2fly

Like there's another saint that could put up with you-that was a weak attempt. I would try more of a "Your husband drinks Bud Light when you're not around" I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

You mean I'm not invited? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Celebrate well-it may make it less painful when Psychobob delivers your new, classy shirt to you

Remember-it's The Coral Equestrian Center. Hosed by schedules again-that's my anniversary weekend and we'll be out of town. I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Aren't you supposed to be in Lisbon? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

For those of you not on my text list Hope you had a great holiday because it's over now and you have to go back to work tomorrow I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Don't get too cocky-I get a couple of requests a week and I don't have a myspace page I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Much better than the tampon decorations over in woman's world I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

How short and is her mouth open or closed? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Gee Ryan, when are ya'll going to shoot a check out to the guy that made good on your promise? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Yeah, we may not know how to fix the problem but we are the people to ask how to get even I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[replyI don't get hugs with the wiggle. Horseshit! I saw you and Psychobob at The Farm Saturday. Wait-Is a leg hump the same as a wiggle? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Give 'em time-you're still young I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Any idea what caused the break? I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

It's when we celebrate our relocation to North America and the beginning of freeing ourselves from the British tyranny of having to put the letter "u" in words in strange places and being forced to misspell "tire" I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

A 'Heads Up' for those of us men who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works. Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or Lowes. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also October 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times just yesterday, and very likely this coming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

But since you've met me, you'll never be able to maintain the alternate image-my smiling face will intrude and you'll end up puking up meals that you ate in high school I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

It's not my problem is the fastest way to make things worse. It is my problem-it's my responsiblity to help first timers feel welcome, to help others stay safe. It's my responsibility to pick up a little trash, shag a few tandems, buy the occasional beer (even if I'm not drinking). It's my place to leave things better than I found them, to help out, and to be able to look at myself in the mirror withough being ashamed I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

and those of us who have had to deal with pissed off Skyride customers who show up at the DZ and find out how badly they're getting screwed. That was not fun-I felt bad for them I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

I'm starting to be really thankful that I normally leave the DZ at sunset I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Don't get your little thong in a wedgie. Just for that, I hope that you have a mental image of me in a thong the next time you try to have a meal. I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

She's adorable-she'll be so cute in the wedding

Damn, Twardo's off for another jaunt around Europe or something so I think I'm gonna get a break-and here you come I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

But since he didn't A man woke up one morning and went down for a cup of coffee. His wife looked at him and said, “You look horrible. What’s wrong?” He said, “Nothing, I feel fine,” “Well you need to go to the doctor.” “Nah, I feel great, I’m going in to work” When he got to work, his boss stopped him. “You look rough, you sick?” “I feel great.” “Well you look like crap, run up and see the doc.” The doctor had stepped out for a minute and the brand new male nurse was on duty. The nurse took one look and said, “You look rotten, what’s the ailment?”. “I feel terrific, but the boss sent me here because I look bad.” The nurse told him “I’ll have to look this up.”. He breaks out one of the big reference books and starts thumbing through it. “Hmmmm-looks bad, feels good. It’s gotta be in here. Looks bad, feels good. That would be under “L” wouldn’t it? Looks bad, feels good-feels good, looks bad. Oh! Here it is. Looks Bad-Feels Good… You’re a vagina!” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A trucker went over to his friend at the café and said “Hey, I just joined a prostitute club. “A prostitute club? There’s no such thing as a prostitute club.” “Sure there is, they gave me a membership card and everything.” His friend said, “Let me see that.” The trucker handed over the card and his friend looked it over. “This isn’t a prostitute club-you’ve joined a parachute club!” “Oh crap-I’ve already bought a hundred jumps.” I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

Who are you kidding-Duct Tape couldn't hold your tongue I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried