Tandem Jokes

[douwanto 22]

I dont like saying die or death but have no problem with jokes like " you will need to stay in the arched position for the entire freefall portion of your sky dive....50 seconds if the parachute works 75 seconds if it does not" or....... " if it looks like we are going to hit the ground at an xecelerated speed take a deep breath and hole it.......make them wait a few seconds or ask why then reply .... " I am going to need an airbag

Uncle/GrandPapa Whit
Unico Rodriguez # 245
Muff Brother # 2421

[jasonRose 0]

John,

In all honesty I try to mimic your SOP for every passenger I take, adding my twist of course. Thanks a million for all that you have given me and taking the time to give those extra words of encouragement when I needed them most. You are world class!!

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[jumpwally 0]

+1,,where are they ?

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[chuckakers 411]

Quote

Saw this one last weekend:

While interviewing the passenger, the TI falls asleep in the background. After getting the interview, asking how he feels, etc then the video then cuts to the instructor, who snaps awake and pretends to be confused about what he is about to do. Vidiot asks if he remembered to take his medication this morning, TI responds "is it 1 pill every 12 hours or 12 pills ever hour?". Then he reaches into his jumpsuit and pulls out a prescription bottle that he filled with mints and pops a bunch into his mouth.

Then the student takes the video home and shows it to family and friends, who don't find it humorous at all.

Telling a light-hearted joke is one thing. Acting like a moron just hurts the credibility of the instructor and th DZ, and in this business credibility equals the perception of safety.

But what do I know?

Chuck Akers
D-10855
Houston, TX

[ManagingPrime 0]

Great thread. Just a little over a month ago I was the tandem and I was freaked out on the load up. There's not much that can offend me, but I appreciate the focus on professionalism as I would like to see all (or almost all) of the tandems go on to get their A license.

Now that I don't have the same kind of "nerves" as I had my first hand full of jumps I try to offers words of encouragement to the tandems if it looks like are nervous. I've thought about incorporating jokes...that's why I read the thread.

Should the same rules regarding decorum apply to fun jumpers?

For instance, I like the ferrari joke and I think it would go over well with many tandems, but I would not want to piss off a TI.

[skyjumpenfool 2]

Quote

Telling a light-hearted joke is one thing. Acting like a moron just hurts the credibility of the instructor and th DZ, and in this business credibility equals the perception of safety.

But what do I know?

You don't really want an answer to that do you?

__________________________________
.... During the Tandem passenger interview, the vidiot askes the student, "are you nervous?" Before they can answer the question, the TI leans into the frame and replies, "Yes! I'm very, very nervous!"
____________________________________courtesy of JB

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[vegasjoe 0]

Every so often, one of my students starts to put on and adjust their own harness.... I chuckle at them and say, "why do't you let me do that?, they told me if I ever lost another student they would suspend my license" then I follow up with, "actually it was down in mexico, so it doesn't really count against me" :)

[kevino 0]

This is actually a true story and I have since used it many times. About 2 years back I took a 65 year old lady for a tandem. She had the biggest pair of boobs imaginable.

The time came to tighten the pax harness and in trying to be professional, I said to her: "Apologies if I am touching youe boobs by mistake but I have to be sure that harness is properly secured."

Her reply was "You can do that to me anytime because nobody has done theat to me for a long time!".....

BS

[vanair 0]

Sometimes when i'm adjusting the harness of a big booby lady, and it's obvious that they are in the way. I jokingly ask "You can't deflate those things can you?' Usually gets a laugh.

[normiss 723]

Not to you directly....but am I the only one that would have issues with sexual harassment issues with a lot of these "jokes"?
There is a line there that I won't cross.

[JohnMitchell 16]

Quote

The time came to tighten the pax harness and in trying to be professional, I said to her: "Apologies if I am touching youe boobs by mistake but I have to be sure that harness is properly secured."

Her reply was "You can do that to me anytime because nobody has done theat to me for a long time!".....

When in doubt, just be polite. Nice work.


Sitting on the plane last season with my pax, and the TM across the aisle told him "When the chute opens, you'll feel a big jerk on your back" meaning me, of course.

I looked across the aisle at his pax and said "And when your chute opens, you'll feel a small prick."

I thought that was a pretty good ad-lib.

[skyjumpenfool 2]

Quote

Sitting on the plane last season with my pax, and the TM across the aisle told him "When the chute opens, you'll feel a big jerk on your back" meaning me, of course.

I looked across the aisle at his pax and said "And when your chute opens, you'll feel a small prick."

I thought that was a pretty good ad-lib.

Very funny!

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."