Tandem Master Jokes Or Lines For Students?

[TheDonMan 0]

After tightengin up the lateral straps ask the male student. "so what do you think.... Am I Jewish or not?"

When teaching the ground prep show the harness to the students and say" you all are really lucky because up until about two weeks ago we used to just duct tape you to us"

The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

[DiscoStu 0]

I am no TM but I am sure a TM could work this in somehow. I once said to my mate:" If anyone needs me I will just be outside"

Also on my very first jump the TM said "If you don't smile on the way down, the parachute won't open"

[MrFreefall383 0]

My TI said to me on Sunday right before boarding the plane for my T-2, "Make sure your balls are centered between the leg straps, or your canopy ride will be rather nasty." I said to him in a high-pitched voice, "You mean like last time?" He laughed and said, "Right, exactly." I readjusted my nuts, and the jump went very well.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[dvient 0]

Using cheesy lines will annoy your student and pretty much anyone else within ear shot. Tandem students will laugh at even the worst joke or line because they are scared.

[des 2]

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Using cheesy lines will annoy your student and pretty much anyone else within ear shot. Tandem students will laugh at even the worst joke or line because they are scared.

i agree with u 100%. they annoy me , after hearing them all , nearly everyday for 10 years, but i try to keep my thoughts to myself, and do my own thing to make my students feel comfortable

[shermanator 3]

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Using cheesy lines will annoy your student and pretty much anyone else within ear shot. Tandem students will laugh at even the worst joke or line because they are scared.

ok, i'm not an instructor.. so sue me!... These jokes may be annoying for those who have heard them over and over again, but they are a good way to calm the students nerves, get them to relax, and works as a good icebreaker.

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[Akey 0]

I thought the jokes were great, made the atmosphere more friendly and put a smile on everyones faces. Especially 'just rememeber, if something goes wrong, you will be the last thing going through my head'. Must have done somehthing right as i'm doing my AFF in 5 weeks!

[johnie 0]

I was on jump 18 and i was talking to a 3rd jump aff ,just felt like messing with him so i asked him if he had his malfunction pack job,for the intentional cutaway!i told him that they give you a malfunction as part of the course,I got a good laugh out of that. whats the worse that could happen,he'd be ready!

No matter where you Go!"there you are"!

[rasmack 0]

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I was on jump 18 and i was talking to a 3rd jump aff ,just felt like messing with him so i asked him if he had his malfunction pack job,for the intentional cutaway!i told him that they give you a malfunction as part of the course,I got a good laugh out of that. whats the worse that could happen,he'd be ready!

Well, I hope he also got a good laught out of it...

HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227
“I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.”
- Not quite Oscar Wilde...

[Katherine 0]

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whats the worse that could happen, he'd be ready!

Or worry about it the whole way though his jump, fail the level and have to repeate?

Leeds University Skydiving Club
www.skydiveleeds.co.uk

[Andy9o8 0]

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I was on jump 18 and i was talking to a 3rd jump aff ,just felt like messing with him so i asked him if he had his malfunction pack job,for the intentional cutaway!i told him that they give you a malfunction as part of the course,I got a good laugh out of that. whats the worse that could happen,he'd be ready!

To be blunt, it was a very foolish thing to do. It was also out of line. As a novice jumper yourself, you hardly know the right thing to say to a nervous, impressionable AFF student. Even if you weren't a novice, that person was somebody else's student. You're lucky the instructor didn't knock you on your ass for messing with his student.

[bodypilot1 0]

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You're lucky the instructor didn't knock you on your ass for messing with his student.

>>>>><<<<<<



Be safe
Ed

www.WestCoastWingsuits.com
www.PrecisionSkydiving.com

[skydivamegan 0]

Oh man the "why the long face" joke is my favorite of all time!!!! I love that one.

_______________________________________________
CARPE DIEM
PMS#529

[Rory81 0]

When i was getting ready for a hop'n'pop a TM on the load said to his student:

TM: now he's going to exit the plane at 6000ft and we'll continue climbing up to 13000.
Student: "why is he jumping so soon?"
TM: He's afraid of jumping higher.
Me (to the student): Yeh, if i go any higher than this i panic, i hope i'll make it all the way up some day (sad face).

I exited at 6000ft and when i was on the ground after a while the tandem student approached and said:

"You really should try going all the way up, that was incredible!!!!"

god, the way she said that, trying to confort me... made me laugh so hard!!!

[ReSiStAnCe 0]

A TM at our DZ briefed a few tandem students and explained they should arch. "Take the banana position".
As the TM tightened the straps to get ready for the exit, he reminded the (female) student: "Remember the banana.."

She replied: "I think I can already feel it"

[ibx 2]

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To be blunt, it was a very foolish thing to do. It was also out of line. As a novice jumper yourself, you hardly know the right thing to say to a nervous, impressionable AFF student. Even if you weren't a novice, that person was somebody else's student. You're lucky the instructor didn't knock you on your ass for messing with his student.

Dude, dont't cry please, it was just fun, people taking eveything so seriously are really annoying me. We're here to have fun !

[rehmwa 2]

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Dude, dont't cry please, it was just fun,

It was an idiodic joke (depending on the ability of the student in question to recognize that kind of thing - but without that knowledge, I'd agree with Andy).

"Dude" - Start working with students and you'll see why.

"We're here to have fun" - but it implies that your fun is paramount over the 'fun' of a very new student. Having some trite cliches is no substitute for understanding your students and fellow jumpers.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[skysparky 0]

I love sitting down for the training and saying 'ok, I've been jumping for about 4 months, I've got 14 jumps, and they say I get to take you today!'. I had a mother look at her daughter on her 18th birthday and say 'is he serious??' asking her like I wasn't even sitting there.

I like the 'lump in your throat' one, that always gets a howl with a bunch of macho guys jumping together. Or saying, '-TM- is the best gay tandem instructor we have!' (stole that one from the guys at emerald coast, thanks guys!)

We also have a TM that says 'put your dick in the wind, or I'm going to put my dick into you!'... worked good until one guy jumped up from the back and said 'I wanna jump with him!!'

We're all here to have safe fun.

[ibx 2]

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It was an idiotic joke (depending on the ability of the student in question to recognize that kind of thing - but without that knowledge, I'd agree with Andy).

Thats exactly what it depends on, I can't believe that that student went out the door seriously believing that he will have a malfunction. If so it's probably not that funny.... If it causes him to mess up the jump... He should make Jokster pay.

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"Dude" - Start working with students and you'll see why.

believe it or not I do work with students, static line though but none the less. We always have alot of fun, with jokes of this kind, although I would never let a student jump who seriously believes such a thing.

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"We're here to have fun" - but it implies that your fun is paramount over the 'fun' of a very new student. Having some trite cliches is no substitute for understanding your students and fellow jumpers.

Exactly, one must understand what you can say to womb, but generally saying this is as idiotic joke, is just as wrong.

[alaskaskydiving 0]

Ever watch an aff student horrified in freefall, tumble and spin, and then have to chase them through the deck as they deploy while you are almost over you, its not fun, skydiving is fun, and dangerous, especially when you have to go out the door with them and their safety is largely your responsibility, if your not scared going out the door with a freaked out aff student, your crazy

[rehmwa 2]

That was a decent answer. Especially since you could have taken offense at my sarcasm and chose not to. I owe you one.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[jumper410 0]

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"So you are OK with a big gay guy strapped to your rear end?"

TK

well, since i am, i think its funny on the occasion when a guy is all nervous about his girlfriend being strapped to another guy and then getting to say don't worry about me hitting on your girlfreind, my husband wouldn't like it. it's even funnier when it's time to strap him on.

[Butters 0]

I am not an instructor (just started the AFF program) but I said something last weekend that made everyone laugh.

As we were riding up for my first jump I told my instructors "Don't be nervous, I've practiced all week with a bed sheet from my roof" and both my instructors and the tandem jumper laughed (his passenger didn't think it was very funny though). (Yes I did bring a case of beer, the instructors liked that.)

The one I liked that the instructors used was this. A girl was suiting up and her chest strap was a little loose (because we were just suiting up in the building) and she questioned them on it. They told her when we jumped that she should wrap her thumb on the inside and her fingers on the outside, pull her hands together, look down, and pray it doesn't come open. (They made the hand motion and kept straight faces like this was a normal thing to do.) I thought this was funny and laughed, she did not and looked more nervous until they tightened it for her. (I guess you have to be careful who to joke with.)

To those who don't joke and keep a straight face. Isn't skydiving about smiling, laughing, having fun, and enjoying living life?

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[thelem 0]

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i told him that they give you a malfunction as part of the course,I got a good laugh out of that. whats the worse that could happen,he'd be ready!

Or he could do the jump, depoly a working parachute and then cut it away because he was convinced it was going to malfunction. You might think he woulnd't be that stupid, but I know people who have cut away because their slider came down (on his second jump!) and because the canopy was a different colour to the one in the photos.

[JohnMitchell 14]

Three weeks ago I took my 19 yo niece on a tandem jump. As she sat on my lap to do the hook up, I said "It's been a long time since you've sat on my lap."

She replied "Yeah, last time you read me a story."

I thought that was cool. We had a great jump together.