npgraphicdesign 2 #1 December 6, 2011 I know that this question would get massacred in the Bonfire so that's why this is going here. For those of you that are in a long-term relationship (read that as dating seriously, engaged, married, living together as partners, etc etc etc) how do you keep the excitement going? I am not talking about the physical aspect of a relationship, but the emotional/mental/etc. How do you not get bored from day to day? My biggest issue is that whenever I start dating someone, I get bored generally 3-3.5 months after, unless she doesn't kick me to the curb earlier. But usually, I start feeling the boredom around that time, and then it's pretty much over and just a matter of finding the right words/time to break it off. So, what's the secret? I figured it's time to find out...since I'm 32 and not getting any younger. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 200 #2 December 6, 2011 Porn Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #3 December 6, 2011 Stop relying on others to fullfil you. Pursue your own path in life and look at your partner as someone to share your joy with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #4 December 6, 2011 Quote Porn Hey keep this in the Bonfire buddy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #5 December 6, 2011 Shouldn't this be in the Women's Forum? Unless you're looking for a life-long wife, the excitement is in the chase.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TriGirl 277 #6 December 6, 2011 Are you one of those types who starts "dating" someone after you've just met? If so, it's possible it's not so much about getting bored, but more that you really get to know that person and learn you're just not into her.See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus Shut Up & Jump! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #7 December 6, 2011 Guns and gay marriage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RonD1120 58 #8 December 6, 2011 Quote I know that this question would get massacred in the Bonfire so that's why this is going here. For those of you that are in a long-term relationship (read that as dating seriously, engaged, married, living together as partners, etc etc etc) how do you keep the excitement going? I am not talking about the physical aspect of a relationship, but the emotional/mental/etc. How do you not get bored from day to day? My biggest issue is that whenever I start dating someone, I get bored generally 3-3.5 months after, unless she doesn't kick me to the curb earlier. But usually, I start feeling the boredom around that time, and then it's pretty much over and just a matter of finding the right words/time to break it off. So, what's the secret? I figured it's time to find out...since I'm 32 and not getting any younger. From my experience and understanding, excitement naturally wanes as the relationship grows into increasing levels of mature responsibility.Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,149 #9 December 6, 2011 I don't think we focus on excitement, rather instead on the joy and fun that comes from building the relationship together. If it needs constant excitement, it's probably infatuation, rather than a relationship. Kind of like some people quit skydiving after their first few jumps or they get off AFF, and others keep working on it. They're no longer the same kind of scared, or the same kind of excited. They find something else in it that fulfills a piece of them. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #10 December 6, 2011 Quote Porn Sex toys are another one...buy lots and lots of sex toys! Oh wait you wanted to actually talk to her? Ahhh...hum....well....you could take her skydiving? Or rock climbing? or maybe join a swingers club...? Oh wait that sex thing....hum...I KNOW! Talk to her! Ask her what she thinks!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #11 December 6, 2011 QuoteGuns and gay marriage. Hijacker!My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #12 December 6, 2011 QuoteQuoteGuns and gay marriage. Hijacker! well hold on.....wait a minute.... This girl...try to get her to go bi....it may work and you will thank me for it!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #13 December 6, 2011 Laughter! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,073 #14 December 6, 2011 Quote For those of you that are in a long-term relationship (read that as dating seriously, engaged, married, living together as partners, etc etc etc) how do you keep the excitement going? I am not talking about the physical aspect of a relationship, but the emotional/mental/etc. How do you not get bored from day to day? Keep 'em pissed off. Kinda like bull-riding. Ya don't stroke 'em and love on 'em... Ya put on yer sharpest spurs, give a little nod, and come outta the chute digging in your heels. You ever seen a bored look on a bronc or bull rider? Nope... the harder you hit them spurs, the better the ride!!! Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #15 December 9, 2011 Quote Keep 'em pissed off. Kinda like bull-riding. Ya don't stroke 'em and love on 'em... Ya put on yer sharpest spurs, give a little nod, and come outta the chute digging in your heels. You ever seen a bored look on a bronc or bull rider? Nope... the harder you hit them spurs, the better the ride!!! An interesting take...that I like. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaDon 340 #16 December 9, 2011 Assuming you're looking for a somewhat serious answer, then I think Wendy nailed it. If you're only looking for the "rush" of a new relationship, you'll never be satisfied as that inevitably fades over time. That's a normal physiological response, the "new relationship" response is driven by dopamine release in the brain, which is gradually supplanted by oxytocin and other neurotransmitters that produce feelings of attachment/comfort/belonging. It's not "romantic" to put it in those terms, but that's the way we're made evolutionarily, so as to form long term pair-bonds suitable to working towards long-term goals such as rearing children, building a home, etc. It's the difference between infatuation and being in love. The excitement comes from building a life together, setting and accomplishing goals together with someone who is your best friend, whose happiness means more to you than anything else (and hopefully the feeling is reciprocated). If you have only ever experienced boredom after a few months in a relationship, then you have never been in love. Who knows, maybe you're dating the wrong people, it takes shared goals and values to make a long term relationship. Nice boobies help to start things going, but if that is the extent of the relationship things aren't going to last too long. Do you take the time and effort to get to know women, or do you just fuck them? Do you yourself have goals and a vision of your life in 10, 20, 30 years, or do you just live day to day? If you could date yourself, are you the kind of person you would find interesting to be with for more than just a few weeks? At 32 the serial dating is probably still fun (as long as you're good at it), but how exciting will it be when you're 50? Don_____________________________________ Tolerance is the cost we must pay for our adventure in liberty. (Dworkin, 1996) “Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.” (Yeats) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,073 #17 December 10, 2011 Wendy always nails it... that's why ghe rest of us can be smartasses Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #18 December 10, 2011 Quote Wendy always nails it... that's why ghe rest of us can be smartasses True. True. It's like she's the teacher and we're the kids in class. WE get to throw the spitballs! One note of interest....things tend to get more exciting when that second girl comes into the picture.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
