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gjhdiver

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

Actually, there are thousands of "gods" out there today. Anyone can make anything a god, be it skydiving, sex, cars, etc.

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9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.


Actually, the Biblical claim is that we are created in God's image, and He is the creator.

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6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

Sorry, I don't laugh at Hindu beliefs...I just don't believe them. And the Bible really is something else isn't it?!?!! Miraculous things are called miraculous for a reason.:)

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5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

Nope, not me. I have no reason to "search" out that which is false. I don't know how old the earth is, but I refer you to the scripture that says "A day with the Lord is like a thousand years." Maybe each day was actually a thousand years our time, when the earth was created.

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3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

EH! Wrong again. It is not the evidence of a man speaking in tongues that proves Christianity--it is the confirmation in my spirit, the unwavering peace in my heart that the Bible is the truth, and God's hand upon my life, and all the ways He has changed me--that helps prove to me the truth.

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2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

Says who? :| God answers all prayers, just not always in OUR timing,nor in the way we want Him to. God knows what we need/don't need better than we do. How can we claim our prayers to win the lottery ( or whatever:S) isn't a selfish prayer, that by being answered the way WE want it to be answered, would cause us to turn away from God since we can "buy" whatever our hearts desire?

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1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Now this one, sadly, I can agree somewhat. I myself have been meaning to start studying the Bible more---but it's definitely a discipline for me.

The thing about this list, Gareth sweetie, is you will not see genuine Christians making lists like this. People would be outraged if a Christian made a generalizing list like this about atheists.

BTW, I can run through the streets, claiming Jesus is a myth---and a crowd will cheer me on. If I run through the streets claiming a god is real, people cheer me on. If I run through the streets, proclaiming Jesus is Lord---people laugh and mock. If I run through the streets, proclaiming some god is a myth, people will become angry and call me self-righteous.

Isn't it amazing how mocking God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, is completely acceptable to most in society. Yet if the very same Christian that believes in Jesus shouts Buddha is a myth, that becomes unacceptable. Funny how that works eh?


Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

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BTW, I can run through the streets, claiming Jesus is a myth---and a crowd will cheer me on. If I run through the streets claiming a god is real, people cheer me on. If I run through the streets, proclaiming Jesus is Lord---people laugh and mock. If I run through the streets, proclaiming some god is a myth, people will become angry and call me self-righteous.

Isn't it amazing how mocking God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, is completely acceptable to most in society. Yet if the very same Christian that believes in Jesus shouts Buddha is a myth, that becomes unacceptable. Funny how that works eh?



You poor oppressed majority.

Tell me, why would presidential candidates always make a huge deal of their faith in god if they knew these 'crowds' of people would hate them for it?
Do you want to have an ideagasm?

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Actually, genuine Christianity is a lot more of a minority than you realize.



Even so, the majority of people in the US still consider themselves to be christian, and still believe in the existence of a divine bloke called Jesus. Are these the people that will form the baying crowds persecuting you for having the audacity believe, as they do, that Jesus existed?
Do you want to have an ideagasm?

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If I run through the streets, proclaiming Jesus is Lord---people laugh and mock



Would you please get this idea out of your head that the non-bible-thumping population is out to tar and feather born-again christians? That's only true in your head; in reality it is simply not the case.

I invite you to come to NYC and "run through the streets, proclaiming Jesus is Lord" as you said. I guarantee you that you will be completely ignored by pretty much everyone and left in peace to proclaim whatever you like, as loud as you like.

Be humble, ask questions, listen, learn, follow the golden rule, talk when necessary, and know when to shut the fuck up.

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>BTW, I can run through the streets, claiming Jesus is a myth---and a
> crowd will cheer me on. If I run through the streets claiming a god is
> real, people cheer me on. If I run through the streets, proclaiming
> Jesus is Lord---people laugh and mock. If I run through the streets,
> proclaiming some god is a myth, people will become angry and call
> me self-righteous.

Where do you live? Do you live in a place where the post offices are open on the Christian holy day? Or where your holidays are on Kwanzaa and Ramadan, but you have to work during Christmas? Does your money say "In Allah We Trust?" Do they swear people in with the Koran or with the Bible where you are?

Out here, we have a federally-funded cross standing on top of a mountain. I don't see any federally funded stars of Davids, or Buddhas, or Vishnus. Money talks - and in the US, it speaks with a Christian accent. You have to be very, very selective in your listening (and have a very thin skin) to think Christians are denigrated. It would be like going to Japan and claiming that asians are oppressed there.

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ha ha

Would the genuine Christian please stand up! Every person that calls themselves christian would stand up. Each one has their own definition of what a genuine christian is and they all base it on their own interpretation of the bible. They all claim their interpretation to be the only correct one.

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ha ha

Would the genuine Christian please stand up! Every person that calls themselves christian would stand up. Each one has their own definition of what a genuine christian is and the all base it on their own interpretation. They all claim their interpretation to be the only correct one.



You only think that because your interpretation of the bible is incorrect. :D
Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

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man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.



flying zombies are also scary - but apparently I should just open my eyes, look at it and realize it's HUMAN and get enlightened

ahhhooooooom
ahhhooooooom
ahhhooooooom

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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Actually, genuine Christianity is a lot more of a minority than you realize.



Considering there are well over 1 billion in Christendom (Catholics, Protestants, other, orthodox, Anglicans), no it really isn't.

Want to see a real religious minority? Check out Zoroastrianism...:P
So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

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9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.



Actually, the Biblical claim is that we are created in God's image, and He is the creator.



I thought the Bible stated He created us in his own image and made Adam from dirt and Eve from a spare rib..... "ashes to ashes, dust to dust".....

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Zoroastrianism is the name of the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathushtra, Zartosht). Mazdaism is the name of the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God).



Holly fuck, all this time I should have been praying to that RX-7 waiting to be rebulit in my garage.

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Zoroastrianism is the name of the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathushtra, Zartosht). Mazdaism is the name of the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God).



That's all fine and good, but does their heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano?

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