If I see another post about...

[Jessica 0]

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I heard that the only reason Californication was still here and had not fallen into the ocean (san andreas fault) was because texas hasn't quit sucking... is this true (tee-hee)????

Bah...that would be funnier if Texas actually bordered Calif. Texans can take the moral high road here, and smile indulgently at these "jokes" obviously born of jealousy.

[Jessica 0]

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No cowboy boots for this girl,
Sis

Yeah, me either. Tevas and "trainers" all the way. (Texans are so cosmopolitan...I can interject erroneous British words for humorous effect)

[cyberskydive 0]

Didnt the Beverly Hillbillies come from Texas?? -LOL
D.Chisolm C-28534
[email protected]
http://www.sunraydesigns.com

[Dutchboy 0]

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The 2% of Americans who are aware of a world outwith their borders (bet NONE of them are from Texas - sorry, couldn't resist the sideswipe) will no doubt know that the French are our closest neighbours and as such we are bound to them by ties of Jealousy, hatred & suspicion.

Well I didn't want to go there, but since you brought it up. I have spent lots of time in the UK (that's the uck, not ue-kay, pronounce it right). I was amazed at home many brits have never left that pathetic little island you claim houses three countries in your "kingdom". You're only 50 miles from France or Ireland and yet most of the brits I know have never left that little island. So what is up with calling your states countries anyway, does it make you feel better or something? How does it feel to be a subject and not a citizen? I'm just having a little fun with you, but I was seriously suprised at how few of you have ever left the island.
On a more serious note, I have never seen such violence in my life as some of the things I've seen in London. You're 3 times more likely to get mugged there than New York City! I actually saw a young punk hop out of his car and threaten to smash some poor old man walking down the sidewalk (pavement) with a bottle.

[skyhawk 2]

look every1 settle down u r all wrong australia is the best country in the hole intire world we r right u r wrong so there :-p

[skyhawk 2]

the poms r wingers full stop and crap at pretty much everything oh wait i think you got a gold at the olympics. and come on shipwrecked just showed the difference between u and us.
the yanks r selfcentered. "what there r places that r civilized outside the states no way " and ive heard about you winging in the jump planes
and thats all i have to time for at the moment expect to new zealand bahhhhh :-) :-) :-) :-)
TO EVERYONE THIS IS MEANT AS A JOKE AND I HOPE U TAKE IT AND GIVE IT BACK :-) AS ONE AND I APOLOGISE TO ANYONE THAT IS OFFENDED

[lazerq3 0]

[look every1 settle down u r all wrong australia is the best country in the hole intire world we r right u r wrong so there :-p]
------------------------------------------
Correct me if I'm wrong but didnt you guys start out as a PENAL COLONY!!!! (dowh)

[skyhawk 2]

(to himself crap forgot about that bit :-) )
yer so if u dont shut u mouth ill shut it for u :-) :-) :-)

[Patkat 0]

Absolutely right, Laz - which explains Skyhawk's high opinion of his homeland. When ya start at the bottom every direction you go is up!
And as for this whole Texas/restoftheUS/England(or is that Great Britain?)/France thing - you're all part of the conspiracy to hide the encroaching evil bent on taking over the world - Canada! Ever since they realized what a raw deal they got upon emigration to the new world (fur?!??!!! we got fur? and the other colonies get the good weather, fertile lands, and all the rest?) Canadians have been plotting - establishing themselves as a member of the Commonwealth so as to suck up to Mother England, and the Quebecois adding a sop to France, becoming the ever present, ever second tier ally, inviting us north without passports so we get to like their socialized medicine and parliamentary procedure. They send us their quarters, carefully sized to not quite work in our vending machines, they put The Kids In The Hall on cable tv, they open strip clubs in Niagara Falls to tempt our youth. They will make their move soon, and the next thing you know, we will all be calling sofas chesterfields, buying Barenaked Ladies albums in ever greater quantities, and ending every statement with "eh?" And they will not stop with the U.S. No, all ye Britons, Francais, Aussies, yea, even ye Texans will fall before their cultural juggernaut!! Be warned!
Oh, wait. I actually rather like Canada. Never mind.
-patkat

[skreamer 1]

Hey Dutchboy
Less than 20% of Americans will ever travel out of the US in their lives. That 20% is probably almost entirely made up by your military invading little countries in Africa where the people are only armed with sticks and blunt stones. Also, it really amazes me that 4.5 million tandem jumps were made in the USA last year - according to Time magazine one out of every three Americans is overweight and and another one out of every three is obese. But, hey, you guys aren't fat, you've all got that genetic problem which only affects your part of the world.... As for you, Skyhawk, yep, Australia definitely still is a *penal* colony! lmao
Now could you guys leave the UK alone, they have a past as unblemished as me and my fellow white South Africans...
oops, err, I'll be washing my glass house now, preparing for the inbound objects.
/s
PS everybody leave Texas alone, just because they dress all gay and over-compensate with those over-sized trucks and big guns, is no reason to pick on them, mmmkay?

[MarkF 0]

Patkat said :-
Absolutely right, Laz - which explains Skyhawk's high opinion of his homeland. When ya start at the bottom every direction you go is up!
--------------------------------------------
And don't you forget it! As we speak there are armies of Australians ready, willing and able to march on UP. For years they have been preparing themselves for this mission. They've been improving their physical condition by playing the collision sport known as Aussi Rules. Their strength has been increased to mighty proportions by the consumption of the "Cold Pie and Warm Beer" football meal and now they are READY. Currently we are Down Under but we will, sooner than you think, be Up Over.
Now behave or I'll send an aggrieved New South Welshman to deal with the lot of ya...:-) NSW is where the original penal colony was and they're _still_ narky bastards in that part of the world...:-)
Ooroo
Mark F...

[skreamer 1]

Hey Mark
We have a lot of sheep here in the UK that need to be *put down*, think you could send your army over to lend a hand? (poor little sheep now they really are going to be f*&$ed whichever way you look at it...)

/s

[MarkF 0]

Only too glad to help mate. Problem is that sheep are the wrong department. The kiwis are much more adept at dealing with sheep than we are....:-) Best you talk to them. Better yet send 'em to France. ( I can't believe I said that.......hmmmm I can actually)
Mark F...
Hmmmmmmm I feel a bad dose of cynicism coming on. Best I go and have a coffee and a few cones...:-)

[skyhawk 2]

1. this is starting to get really funny so to all the ppl that get offended i say F@ck u he he he
2.Absolutely right, Laz - which explains Skyhawk's high opinion of his homeland. When ya start at the bottom every direction you go is up!
ha ha ha ha
weong antartica is below us oh and new zealand and cause we r so "low" we can see what wankers the rest of u r :-)
Canada oh canada well cant say much cept they have fliptop heads
3. As for you, Skyhawk, yep, Australia definitely still is a *penal* colony! lmao
whats that ment to mean oh wait we do have one of the worst crime rates in the world it was in the paper must be true but what do u expect from decendants of convicts boy scouts
(throws a rock at the glass house :-) )
PS everybody leave Texas alone, just because they dress all gay and over-compensate with those over-sized trucks and big guns, is no reason to pick on them, mmmkay?
yer cause they r small where it counts
Now behave or I'll send an aggrieved New South Welshman to deal with the lot of ya...:-) NSW is where the original penal colony was and they're _still_ narky bastards in that part of the world...:-)
f@ck oath lived there for a year had to move back to qld cause they r even more up themselves than brisbanites aint that right Mark :-)
yer skreamer get your countries right even though we can go back and forth without a passport even though we have to float/fly there and our govnment pays them millions of dollars a year in welfare cause the can just come and live here and our most celebrated battle (which we lost :-) go aussies ) was faught along them hell the whole blody war was fought alongside them. I have no idea how you got us mixed up :-) we have the skippys they rape the sheep :-)
nah the french just want our cane toads :-)

[Trent 0]

British people suffer from a cultural effect known as "I-Once-Was-A-World-Power-Now-I'm-A-Joke" syndrome. I mean, come on!! Who takes you seriously? You're just the northernmost district of France anyway.
And the way you "chaps" are trying to take on just about any state or country bigger than you REEKS of Napoleon complex. (Maybe the French invented that, but Y'ALL seem to have perfected it)
Jessica is right, we don't have to defend ourselves. We Texans can be quite content knowing that we are vastly superior to any single state or country in the world.
It's okay, we just know better.
Hugs and kisses,
Trent

[skreamer 1]

Funny thing though, us South Africans, the Canadians, the Kiwis and the Aussies all declared war the day after Britain in 1939. Hmmmm, now I wonder how great America (including Texas) would be today if we had also decided to wait 3 years before deciding to get in the mix?
And for the record, less than 15 years after the English had imprisoned South African Boer women and children in concentration camps, we volunteered for the first big one. I think I'm starting to see why people think us South Africans are so aggressive and always keen to fight (as borne out by my inflammatory posts). Aaaah, I must be getting home-sick!
/s

[Iflyme 0]

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Correct me if I'm wrong but didnt you guys start out as a PENAL COLONY!!!! (dowh)

Actually, there have been aboriginal people living there for about 40,000 years. And there were First Nations people in North America longggg before the Europeans brought their disease and bigotry here... BTW, Canada IS the best country in the world ... just check with the UN ... 7 years running now... Frank

[skyhawk 2]

British people suffer from a cultural effect known as "I-Once-Was-A-World-Power-Now-I'm-A-Joke" syndrome. I mean, come on!! Who takes you seriously? You're just the northernmost district of France anyway.
ha ha ha ha yer once they owned the "free world" now all they have is tea and shitty scones :-)
Jessica is right, we don't have to defend ourselves. We Texans can be quite content knowing that we are vastly superior to any single state or country in the world.
bullshit :-) ok maybe 2nd but australia is the best country in the world :-)
And for the record, less than 15 years after the English had imprisoned South African Boer women and children in concentration camps, we volunteered for the first big one. I think I'm starting to see why people think us South Africans are so aggressive and always keen to fight (as borne out by my inflammatory posts). Aaaah, I must be getting home-sick!
yer come on ill take u on :-)
have you met nelsion mandela or does he stand up for the wrong values :-) (this is especially a joke )
Actually, there have been aboriginal people living there for about 40,000 years.
true but you wont here many white aussies me inlcuded say that very often :-)
BTW, Canada IS the best country in the world ... just check with the UN ... 7 years running now... ...
yer butthe un is a bunch of wankers and hell they r situited in america the land of " we r the only important place in the world "
but in the long run the US wins ... more, bigger, and better dropzones! And that's the only thing that REALLY matters, isn't it!
bigger yes better no f@cken way :-)

[lazerq3 0]

Well somebody has to say it...."CANT WE ALL JUST.....GET ALONG!!!"

• Quote

[miked10270 0]

Yep... Gotta agree with Frank about CanadaOf all the countries that the UN looked at... Bosnia, Rwanda, Israel(Gaza Strip), Serbia, Croatia, Ethiopia, Papua, Angola... It was Canada that came out top for quality of life !?
Anyway, it's always nice to tap a rich vein of anything, even xenophobia (that's fear/dislike of outsiders to Texans).
I'd completely forgotten that the Beverley Hillbillies came from Texas! I suppose that they kept that quiet in case people wouldn't take them seriously if they knew!?
Mike D10270.
PS. On a slightly satirical note... let's look at a group of 535 "ordinary" people:
29 have been accused of "spousal abuse",
7 have been arrested for fraud,
19 have been accused of writing "rubber" cheques,
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses,
3 have served time in prison for assaults,
71 can't get a credit card due to their bad credit history,
14 have been arrested on drugs related charges,
8 have been arrested for shoplifting,
21 are currently defendants in various lawsuits,
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the past year.
OK... I suppose it's pretty obvious that this group are politicians... the US Congress!!! (Don't worry... Britains politicians are doing their best to keep up). Still... Nice to know who makes the laws that govern our society & I suppose you've gotta agree that they do seem very well qualified in legal matters!?

[skyhawk 2]

no :-)

[Iflyme 0]

Man, we're a funny lot - you may ask: funny "strange" or funny "ha ha" ??? Well I think we, as a group, are leaning to the "funny strange" side, but I have had a good laugh on this thread! Don't stop now!!! Let's start an international incident... (if we haven't already)

[skreamer 1]

Fine with me, because I have : 'diplomatik immooooonity'.
(If you haven't seen Lethal Weapon 2, you just won't get it...)
/s
ps Lethal Weapon 2 is spot on, that is exactly what we are all like (said with Point Break tongue in cheek)

[Jessica 0]

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I'd completely forgotten that the Beverley Hillbillies came from Texas! I suppose that they kept that quiet in case people wouldn't take them seriously if they knew!?

The Beverly Hillbillies are NOT FROM TEXAS!!! Jeezus! You know, HILLbillies? As in the Ozarks? As in ARKANSAS?!
I hate it when people think the Beverly Hillbillies are from Texas...
Nor are the Dukes of Hazzard, btw!

[skreamer 1]

Jessica's right, the Hillbillies were way too classy and intelligent to be from Texas. (oooooh, now I'm gonna be dodging wingnuts!)
/s