Worst day: My girlfriend was having an affair

[flyangel2 2]

Besides, being on your own allows you to have more fun at the WFFC. Just think, if there was a boyfriend standing there watching you bring brothers into the family. What do you think he would have to say to you later that night

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Vallerina 2]

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What do you think he would have to say to you later that night

Probably nothing. I was just being nice and helpful; you are a smaller woman, and I didn't want you to get too drunk from all that tequila! That's why I stepped in!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[flyangel2 2]

That's what I love about the family, so many of my bumpy sister willing to step up to the altar and help out a bumpy sister in need.
Hey, were where you when I needed you a few weeks ago at 10:00 in the morning after a balloon jump. Nothing like doing body shots at that hour

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[outofit 0]

my advice to u kingato is once a cheater always a cheater. been where u r and i did try to make things work but it only got worse and almost cost ne everything. keep on truckin bro and never look back!

It is better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool!

[Gawain 0]

You deserve better. As tough as it may be, and as terrible it may feel, let her go. You'll get through it. Swing by the DZ get in a few jumps with your friends and stay occupied.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[happythoughts 0]

There are spots on that leopard that won't change.

Ka-chinggggg!

[rhino 0]

Take a break.. Go fuck someone else.. See how she likes it...

[lewmonst 0]

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Yup to what Narci says...
If there is no trust, there can be no long term relationship.
Yup it hurts like nothing else to be betrayed, but can you trust her not to put you thru this again?

Cutaway dude.

i gotta agree with Nac on this one...
been there. tried to give it another chance, a few months after the smoke cleared. I can forgive, but i cannot forget. despite wanting to try to rebuild, i was personally not able to, and i know we were not meant to be. things happen for a reason, i believe. i'm sure it's possible for some people to rebuild after that, but not me.
sucks finding out the hard way.

good luck to you. give yourself at least a month to get clear-headed and think about the situation. i know it is hard to think right after something like that. too many emotions battling...

http://www.exitshot.com

[happythoughts 0]

You have this so nailed. Drunk could possibly equal oops, but this was a few return visits. Ya gotta see this for the truth. Present behavior predicting future behavior. Kaa-Chiinnnng.

[Sinkster 0]

Ditch her dude and don't look back! There is no excuse for what she's done to you. Don't be a wimp and stay with her. Be a man and show her that integrity and trust mean something to you! Ka-ching.

[livendive 8]

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For those of you that have gone through this, how did you deal with it? If you decided to stay together, did it work? Where you able to overcome all those weird feelings?

Had that happen to me a couple times. First time I was married, in the Navy, and had been deployed for 6 months. She admitted to it when I was in Hawaii on my way home and I asked if the 2 weeks prior to my arrival home would be enough to ditch the guy. She didn't, even though I wanted to at least try to save it, so we got divorced. The second time was 5 years later, a girlfriend of a couple years who lived with me and was cheating with a so-called "friend" of mine. Given my frustration at not previously being allowed to try to save my marriage, I gave this one a decent effort. She did pretty much everything in her power to regain my trust, but 6 months later I realized I would never trust her again and asked her to move out.

I've been in my current relationship for nearly 3 years. I'm as certain as I think a guy can be that I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. Still, if she were to cheat on me, I doubt that I'd even try to fix it. It's painful work and I think the odds of success are remote at best. I'm sure some people are better at forgive-and-forget than I am, and you may be one of them.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[jfields 0]

Are any of her really good female friends cute? Do 'em!

Just kidding. Don't go there. I'd say cutaway. I'd also avoid any common friends that YOU (individually) don't have a really good relationship with. Leave the entire scene.

When you get to the point of really being at peace with yourself, and being okay with being single, that is when things will start working out for the better. When you stop looking is when you are most likely to find someone good for you.

Just my $.02.

[Jessica 0]

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Drunk could possibly equal oops, but this was a few return visits.

Also agreed. My feelings on this have changed as I've gotten older -- one oops is horrible, but may be able to be worked through.

This is repeated, premeditated betrayal. Ugh.

That said, we DON'T know the whole story, and you shouldn't base your decision on what a few ignorant people on an Internet chat say. Only you know what's going on at home, and what the dynamics are. Good luck.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[Mindcake 0]

I feel for ya, my ex-wife was cheating on me. You need to take things day by day and when you are feeling better go out and have a fling, Don't get vengful as this never amounts to anything.

Good Luck

Jim

Don´t belive the hype

[Chivo 0]

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For those of you that have gone through this, how did you deal with it?

Try to do the things that you like. Keep yourself busy so you'll spend less time thinking and analyzing the situation. It used to be very hard for me at nights, that's when I missed her the most, sometimes I still do. But during the day, I'm a workaholic (my boss is happy with that). Get a hobby or go back to doing something you enjoyed to do, this will help. Oh, and when you're feeling a little depressed, go get a Jamba Juice (or similar), they make me feel better 100% of the time!

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Where you able to overcome all those weird feelings?

No. Once the trust is gone... the relationship can't go back to the way it was. Some people can make up and begin a new relationship. Others try and fail. But the best you could do, is have some time by yourself and figure out exactly what you want.

Remember that every relationship happens for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The problem is that we usually put them in the wrong category.

Since luck is for mediocres, I wish you success.
~Chivo

[dropdeded 0]

Happened to me and we worked it out as best we could but in my case,the trust was never there again.Wether or not she EVER cheats again didnt change the fact that I just didnt have trust anymore.It wasnt good for either of us.

Sorry to hear you gotta go through this dude,personally,I'd end it now.(if it was ME)
Good Luck

dropdeded
pcss#26

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The Dude Abides.
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[DZBone 0]

Condolences, man. This is a very difficult thing to have to go through.

It sounds obvious to say, but keep in mind that what happened was not your fault. You'll be surprised how guilt can sneak its way in. She did this, not you.

Having said that, I'll have to agree with those who say we have no business telling you what to do. We don't know what she means to you, what the relationship is worth or how permanent the damage is. Usually, these things are fatal, but I've seen relationships go on stronger than ever after an affair.

Whatever you do, your friends are there for you.

_________________________________________________
If you hadn't read this, would it have made a sound?

[Chivo 0]

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Drunk could possibly equal oops, but this was a few return visits.

...one oops is horrible, but may be able to be worked through.
...This is repeated, premeditated betrayal. Ugh.

I have to disagree. A LOT of ppl use alcohol as an excuse. The thing is, no one gets drunk by accident.

"I'm truly sorry, I didn't mean to but... I had too much to drink" ... "again".

Does the fact that the other person is drunk should change how I react towards infidelity? HELL NO!

Edit: Next thing you know, they'll also use "being lonely", "not feeling appreciated", and "wanting to be wanted" as excuses too!!!

~Chivo

[happythoughts 0]

"Next thing you know, they'll also use "being lonely", "not feeling appreciated", and "wanting to be wanted" as excuses too!!! "

That usually falls under the blanket explanation "not filling my needs". In an honest situation, you talk it out. If it can't be resolved, you part company. Back it off a notch. Doesn't seem to happen that way in the real world.

[usmcdannyboy 0]

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I have to disagree. A LOT of ppl use alcohol as an excuse. The thing is, no one gets drunk by accident.

true no one gets drunk by accident. all alchol does is loosen your inhibitions. so if you get drunk and mess around on your girlfriend/boyfriend, you were already thinking about doing it or just dont give a dam for your relationship. either way you should have ended the relationship like a decent human being long ago.

I am the light my son...What you seek is fire

[Jessica 0]

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Edit: Next thing you know, they'll also use "being lonely", "not feeling appreciated", and "wanting to be wanted" as excuses too!!!

That's right! And women who are lonely or in an emotionless relationship need to just suck it up and quit whining!

Jeez.

Obviously I'm not condoning cheating. Read my post again. I'm just saying that sometimes problems in relationships can be worked through, whereas other times (like maybe in this situation) they're indicative of a serious character flaw, like a willingness to lie and betray.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[Chivo 0]

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"Next thing you know, they'll also use "being lonely", "not feeling appreciated", and "wanting to be wanted" as excuses too!!! "

That usually falls under the blanket explanation "not filling my needs". In an honest situation, you talk it out. If it can't be resolved, you part company. Back it off a notch. Doesn't seem to happen that way in the real world.

True, I was just adding a bit of sarcasm to the scene. And I agree, "not filling my needs" might be an explanation, but since it is mostly used *after* cheating, that makes it an excuse. If your SO is not filling your needs, talk to him/her. If nothing changes, then break it up. There's no need for cheating.

edit:

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...talk it out. If it can't be resolved...

I agree 100%.

~Chivo

[meatmissile 0]

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can't leave with them, can't leave without them.

Actually, it is possible to leave without them. Sneak out of a window if you have to .

Seriously - a cheater can't reform. Apply the boot and do not even glance back.

--
ZZZzzzz....

[flyangel2 2]

true no one gets drunk by accident. all alchol does is loosen your inhibitions. so if you get drunk and mess around on your girlfriend/boyfriend, you were already thinking about doing it or just dont give a dam for your relationship. either way you should have ended the relationship like a decent human being long ago.
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Amen, I second that. Don't use alcohol as an excuse to screw around. Be a descent human being and walk away from the situation.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Rdutch 0]

Do yourself a favor, loose her as soon as possible. She showed her true color's. I had a girl that kind of sort of cheated, She denied it and her sister was with her and backed it up, but I knew the whole time I was with her that she wanted to, and that was enough. Weather she did or not I dont know, but think it happened. I never had trust for her after that, and always was wondering when it was going to happen again. It put a big gap in my feelings for her cause everytime I got close I took 2 steps back cause I always though that it was inevitable that she would do it again. Also she was a great girl but without trust you have nothing. If your girl is so shallow to cheat she isnt capable of being true and only thinks about herself, she has no respect for you or your relationship and you shouldnt waste your time on her. And the only reason she is sorry is cause she got caught, what if she didnt get caught I bet she would still be doing it. Dont know ya but you deserve better, everyone does. Oh yeah the girl I was with, she did it again. Saw it coming from a mile away though, If the person your with has no morals and would cheat on you when she is pretending she loves you, then she will always do it again. What kind of future can you have when you can always think that possibly she is will do it again, and you have the past to look at. Unless you have a real short term memory it wont work. And the best friend I agree she probably was, but what kind of friend would do something to their friend that would definitely crush their emotions and totally disrespect them.
Its mutch better to be alone than to be with someone that you cant trust. And this gives you the opportunity to find the right girl.
Good luck in the future, everything happens for a reason and its probably so you can meet someone nicer.

Ray
Small and fast what every girl dreams of!