Darius11 12 #1 February 11, 2004 If we had a mens forum I would post this there. I have never liked kids. Even as a kid I didn’t act like your normal kid and always hung out with older friends. Here is my question. Did any of you really not like/want kids and after you had them your emotions changed. Or did you have a kid and just feel responsible for your child but not particularly happy about it.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #2 February 11, 2004 Your question is vague, you will get a variety of responses."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #3 February 11, 2004 Yea sorry my writing skills are not good at all. Did any guys here really not want children or was not to trilled about it, but when they did have there kids they had a total change of heart and not just because they were responsible people and took care of there kids, but because they really had a change of heart and realized they love kids.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wendybird 0 #4 February 11, 2004 Darius, Are you going to be a Dad? Or thinking about becoming one because you like someone, and are considering changing your point of view? Most people I know (not just men) that didn't want, but had kids unexpectedly, raise them out of a sense of responsibility. They spend most all their child-rearing years thinking how different life would have been had they not been "trapped" or had they used effective contraception. People I know that decided to have a child because their s.o. really wanted one eventually regretted not sticking with their gut instinct. People that don't want children shouldn't have children. There's nothing wrong with that. You'd be saving yourself and your s.o. a world of pain and misery.Wendy "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used u Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
base311 0 #5 February 11, 2004 are you pregnant and want reassurance? it'll be the best-damned thing you ever did. -raising kids provides the chance to experience a part of life of which you have no recollection. -raising kids is one of the most satisfying human endeavors on which one could embark. -raising kids is one of the most challenging human endeavors on which one could embark. -raising kids separates the men from the boys. -raising kids is a full time job. -raising kids is the meaning of life. -the reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they have a common enemy. -kids will push every limit you set for them...constantly. -spare the rod; spoil the child. -watching your child grow and develop is one of the most fascinating things you will ever witness. -seeing your kids smile and laugh and want to hug you brings joy beyond your wildest imagination. hope it helps! Gardner Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #6 February 11, 2004 Ditto."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #7 February 11, 2004 No I am not going to be a dad. I am a bit old school and wouldn't like to be a dad unless I was married ( I know sometimes it is really not a choice). I have never liked kids. A lot of people I know have always told me your mind will change once you have one. Thank you for your post i do agree with what you postedI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #8 February 11, 2004 I've known a couple of guys who HATED kids. Both of them changed into the most kid-loving people I ever knew when there was an unplanned pregnancy. One of them will be my most trusted babysitter when mine comes along. I've learned their lesson. Until I have my own, I know nothing. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #9 February 11, 2004 QuoteUntil I have my own, I know nothing. Agreed but what if finding out the answer is life changing as this is. If you have kids and don’t like kids you will be a bad father and that’s something I would never want to be. If I can’t be the best for my kids I don’t want to be a dad. Is it worth the risk to have a kid to see wow your mind changed or didn’t. I am pretty good at making decisions but it is so hard when it is someone else’s life.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WILDBILLAQR 0 #10 February 11, 2004 base311 I could not of said it better myself! Last weekend my son was in a golf tornament where kids had come from 4 states to compete.We walked all 36 holes. As parents we could not help or advise at all. We could not help on rulings (which we found out the kids knew the rules better than the dads did) All we could do is give "golf claps" for good shots. It was outstanding joy at times, and it was increadably painful other times. When it was over my son placed 9th out of 14. I walked of that course as proud of him as if he would have taken 1st! He played like a man! 16 years ago I held him like a football, I now look up to him, and not only because he is taller than me! Oh, by the way, when his mom got pregnant it was a surprise and we wern't married or thinking of children, I sure am glad we did the right thing---------------------------------------------- "Thats not smoke, thats BUCKEYE!!" AQR#3,CWR#49 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH 0 #11 February 11, 2004 Actually, I was (literally 28 min ago) having this exact same conversation w/ a friend of mine. Both she & I have never liked kids. Now, she's married & pregnant w/ twins & is hoping that having them will change her heart. I say why risk it? This is something you can live with out. Why mess up a child that turns into another messed-up adult just cause you hoped you would change? This is a question for all people. It just so happens that women tend to be more are naturally nurturing, guess I missed that gene also. Last night had the conversaton w/ a friend like this: I'm not sure what I'd do if I got pregnant. FOR ME abortion is not an option emotionally, however @ 28, I'm too old to (IMO) ligitimatelly give a child up for adoption (it would just be selfish); but do you then just suffer through 18 years of raising a hopefully mentally healthy human? Dunno I can't wait to see the resonses!! There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear. PMS #227 (just like the TV show) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyRamone 0 #12 February 11, 2004 Kids are great. I still hate kids, just other peoples..Joke...HAHA . My 4 kids changed my life. I would be dead or in jail if it was not for them. Every thing My wife and I do is for the kids... They make my world a whole. A ton of hard work but worth every second... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #13 February 11, 2004 Everyone is different. I really liked kids. But didn't want any of my own. However, it's completely unfair to deny that if your wife wants them. So we had one. And my daughter is the most important and coolest person in my life. I think it's pretty natural to change your mind once you have your own. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #14 February 11, 2004 If you honestly feel that way.. Don't have kids... It's not fair to you, them or Mom. I totally understand where you're coming from... I was 'free & easy' into my 40's! I knew I was too selfish to regulate the time and effort it would take to raise a munchkin the way I thought it should be done. After reaching the point of being both financially and emotionally secure enough to give the endeavor serious consideration, other factors began to come into play. We eventually decided our lives were not as full as we thought they were, and decided to adopt three kids from an orphanage in Russia. It's been the most fulfilling thing I ever done... And in all honesty...probably the only thing I'll ever do in my life that REALLY means something. If and when you are ready... You'll know. Until then, don't... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbo 0 #15 February 12, 2004 Like so many things in life you will not know the true answer to your question until you have had a chance to experience it. Is your perception of what skydiving would be like at all similar to how you feel about now that you've done it? Children bring something to your life, I couldn't explain it, but I know how it feels. And yeah, it feels good! All the other things that you think are important take on a different meaning the first time you hold your child, and only gets better from there. RainboRainbo TheSpeedTriple - Speed is everything "Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #16 February 12, 2004 well, my friend Kody told me that "I never wanted kids, but now, I couldn't imagine life any other way, and I couldn't love Alexandra and her mother more." His daughter, Alex, is two, and already breaking hearts with her smile. it really does depend on the individual, though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pleifer 0 #17 February 12, 2004 And for all those who have a kid, and still don't like them, just remember they will be changing your diaper someday _________________________________________ The Angel of Duh has spoke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wendybird 0 #18 February 12, 2004 Right. Being *ready* is one of the keys for success. Kids that are born from unexpected circumstances stand little chance of having a Mom AND a Dad that are around full time and love them the way they deserve to be loved, *full time*. Heck. Even kids born in ideal circumstances (define ideal how you will) suffer a greater than 50% chance of not seeing one parent as much as they deserve. Why put yourself in a position where you are bringing a child into the world knowingly and willingly, knowing *full well* that you're still not sure if you really want that child? Are you really willing to risk children's lives and feelings for curiosity?Wendy "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used u Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #19 February 12, 2004 Quoteit is so hard when it is someone else’s life. That is exactly right. And it is not the person's first 18 years, either. It is their whole goddamn life. Kids are formed by their parents. You will find that out whenever you bring the subject of parents up. Many folks never get over having a domineering mom or distant father. A crappy parent may screw up generations of human beings. So if you are going to to it, do it to the hilt. If you are ambivalent, don't do it. It comes down more to your sense of responsibility to your children than to whether you like them. They must be loved, educated, disciplined, and exposed to the world in bite-sized chunks. There is nothing more important in the world to me than the raising of my kids. I have seen far too much carnage from the casual indifference of parents. If you neglect the first years, you will be haunted for the rest of your life by the feral person you had created. Gee, you think I have an opinion on this one? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #20 February 12, 2004 QuoteDid any guys here really not want children or was not to trilled about it, but when they did have there kids they had a total change of heart and not just because they were responsible people and took care of there kids, but because they really had a change of heart and realized they love kids. ok, im not a dad... but i can answer this question. i NEVER wanted kids. i was pregnant at 21 (fun birthday that was), sick nearly the whole time and wondering what the H i was doing. my daughter was born and my world changed. for 7 years she was my "pal" i never wanted any more kids... she was it. then i got pregnant again. i SO did not want that baby.. after all my 7 yr old was self sufficient, i didn't need or want diapers and bottles again. it took me a while with her... to really start to Want her but now i would not trade her or her sister for anything in the world. i still can't stand anyone else's kids. maybe im just too old now. but when i see a screaming kid in a store .... i truly cringe. funny, my oldest is the same way. she cant stand little kids. (she claims it is from working in restaraunts and seeing how ill mannered some kids are) i will say from MY experience, what you describe about not wanting them and then having a change of heart does happen. i don't love kids in general... just Mine ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D22369 0 #21 February 12, 2004 Yep....... I was terrified of being a father and not sure that I wanted to be one, but now I couldnt imagine my life without him. He does cut down on my skydiving a bit, but I consider this a small price to pay. RoyThey say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #22 February 12, 2004 Hey just got in too work and read all of your replays. Just wanted to say thank you. And no I haven’t got any one pregnant yet just thinking a lot about my next step in life. Again thank you allI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #23 February 12, 2004 It is simply put - The Biggest most expensive rollercoaster you can ever get on.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #24 February 12, 2004 Base311 said it best. I never gave kids any thought until mine came along. Now, after 15 years, I don't what I would do with out them. I have two beautiful girls 15 and 11. They both have me wrapped around their little fingers. I'm just gonna be a wreck when they leave. My wife will be just fine.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #25 February 12, 2004 Yep, that about sums it up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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