Shotgun 1 #26 September 30, 2004 QuoteBeing married is fun! You get to flirt with everyone, married and single. Ya know why? 'Cause they all know you're just messing around and having fun. This is true. I'm a much bigger flirt now that I'm married than I ever was when I was single... Because I know my husband trusts me and doesn't mind me flirting, and because others typically know that I am married (and know Rich) so they know that I am not being serious. And I think a bit of light-hearted flirting is actually good for our relationship in some strange way (as long as we're not doing it to make each other jealous, but we never do that). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #27 September 30, 2004 QuoteGah! Thats even worse You mean everyone on this forum was single for a while until they got involved in a relationship? Is there a possibility that a married person meets someone, falls in love, gets divorced and moves on with that new relationship? Just wondering. Flame away "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #28 September 30, 2004 No way. It is wrong in every way. If she/he wants to cheat they should go home and tell there SO they want to be with other people I have to say it is hard to find honest people like that. I think I have been with one person in my whole life who told me straight up they want too see other people, But I respect her greatly for her honesty. I think if you cheat on your SO or be a part of some one cheating on there SO you are as guilty as they are. Not too mention if there our kids involved. You hurt way too many people. Not worth it in my book. Plus Karma is a bitchI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #29 September 30, 2004 You'd be suprised at just how many people commit adultry with thier ex wives/husbands Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #30 September 30, 2004 Basically, anytime you lie, you have to remember it. When you see people, you mentally scan to remember which lies you told which people. It makes your mind cluttered and your interactions uneasy. It ruins basic, friendly interactions. I prefer to be able to approach anyone and not worry if they "know something" that I did. Especially if it was with their spouse. Paranoia - you know the person, but not their spouse or all of their spouses friends. When you are with that person, you can't relax. How much fun is that? Drama - you sign yourself up for a ton of it. Effectively, you are trading your sanity for a little sex. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #31 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteGah! Thats even worse You mean everyone on this forum was single for a while until they got involved in a relationship? Is there a possibility that a married person meets someone, falls in love, gets divorced and moves on with that new relationship? Just wondering. Flame away It's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #32 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteGah! Thats even worse You mean everyone on this forum was single for a while until they got involved in a relationship? Is there a possibility that a married person meets someone, falls in love, gets divorced and moves on with that new relationship? Just wondering. Flame away That's not what I said. I said cheating on your spouse was even worse than helping somoene else cheat on theirs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Frenchy68 0 #33 September 30, 2004 QuoteIt's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? If you cheated because you fell in love, and follow through with a commitment to that person you love, there's no reason why it would work out any worse (or better for that matter) than the previous relationship. I am not advocating cheating on one's spouse. But i think there are instances where the person committing adultery is not necessary an asshole. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Frenchy68 0 #34 September 30, 2004 QuoteThat's not what I said. I said cheating on your spouse was even worse than helping somoene else cheat on thei OK "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites littlestranger 0 #35 September 30, 2004 QuoteI got involved because I adore his kids Quote I will spend every day for the rest of my life regretting it. I don't understand the statement that you will regret the relationship for the rest of your life. Don't you see some merit in making a difference in his children's lives (assuming that you did). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Unstable 8 #36 September 30, 2004 Quote..even if the relationship is fucked and has problems...end it, clean up...before bringing something else in. These are my exact feeling. I see a lot of people who use cheating as a way to force themselves out of a relationship they would rather not be in - That's a chicken shit thing to do, IMHO - It causes a LOT more damage than they realize. Cheating is wrong. That's all there is to it. I would NEVER cheat on my partner, and I would certainly NEVER help another person cheat on their partnet by screwing them (or anything else that would be considered cheating, for that matter....) if they were married. How could I live with myself knowing that I was with somebody who had committments to another partner, and that I was doing something to bring down a marriage. Even if it would just be somebody else then, fine. Let it be somebody else, I'm not going to do it. Period. - I'm going to stop here people. This subject has become a little too personal to me as of lately....=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Gravitymaster 0 #37 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteIt's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? If you cheated because you fell in love, and follow through with a commitment to that person you love, there's no reason why it would work out any worse (or better for that matter) than the previous relationship. I am not advocating cheating on one's spouse. But i think there are instances where the person committing adultery is not necessary an asshole. The new relationship very rarely develops enough for marriage. The married person either goes back to their spouse or eventually finds someone else when they get bored with you. Somebody seeking the passions of another while still in a committed marriage is quite often searching for something that doesn't exist. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ChasingBlueSky 0 #38 September 30, 2004 Quote I would have to say that is the best answer to her question...who would want to admit to being an adulterer? Better yet, why would someone want to date one? Let's see, they break a sacred promise to their partner....I'm suuuure they are going to treat another piece of meat, I mean, person, that much better._________________________________________ you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me.... I WILL fly again..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Frenchy68 0 #39 September 30, 2004 QuoteSomebody seeking the passions of another while still in a committed marriage is quite often searching for something that doesn't exist. I will definitely give you that. And there are lots of assholes pretending they will get out of their "commitment" just for the quick action. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RoysPlayThing 0 #40 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteWhy aren't the people who are voting "yes" replying? I'm interested to hear your reason for why you'd do it. A lot of times I hear a certain reason repeated from married women. "It wasn't really cheating because I knew the relationship was over. I had told him and we were just waiting to file the paperwork." Just after I got divorced, I worked at a large corp office. I got propositioned by bored married women about once a month. Just "an afternoon at the Red Roof Inn, no strings". They liked their life, kids, car, home, and even their husband. They were just bored with the "same old" in bed. I'm also sure they weren't just asking me. I already had enough drama, stress, paranoia, and stupidity in my life though. Smart man...~R+R...Marriage is a bond...My word is my bond...Period. Personally I have been with someone that was supposed to be in a process of divorce and it ended up being the biggest heart break of my life. ... I also know somebody that happens to be very close to me still going through this. ... sometimes you just haveta "pull" _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites scottbre 0 #41 September 30, 2004 Upon further review, I think the poll needs to be modified further. It should say: Would you screw someone who is married to someone other than yourself? The way it is right now, I could see how you could get 'yes' answers from some smartasses out there. Conundrum is still cool. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #33 September 30, 2004 QuoteIt's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? If you cheated because you fell in love, and follow through with a commitment to that person you love, there's no reason why it would work out any worse (or better for that matter) than the previous relationship. I am not advocating cheating on one's spouse. But i think there are instances where the person committing adultery is not necessary an asshole. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #34 September 30, 2004 QuoteThat's not what I said. I said cheating on your spouse was even worse than helping somoene else cheat on thei OK "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlestranger 0 #35 September 30, 2004 QuoteI got involved because I adore his kids Quote I will spend every day for the rest of my life regretting it. I don't understand the statement that you will regret the relationship for the rest of your life. Don't you see some merit in making a difference in his children's lives (assuming that you did). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 8 #36 September 30, 2004 Quote..even if the relationship is fucked and has problems...end it, clean up...before bringing something else in. These are my exact feeling. I see a lot of people who use cheating as a way to force themselves out of a relationship they would rather not be in - That's a chicken shit thing to do, IMHO - It causes a LOT more damage than they realize. Cheating is wrong. That's all there is to it. I would NEVER cheat on my partner, and I would certainly NEVER help another person cheat on their partnet by screwing them (or anything else that would be considered cheating, for that matter....) if they were married. How could I live with myself knowing that I was with somebody who had committments to another partner, and that I was doing something to bring down a marriage. Even if it would just be somebody else then, fine. Let it be somebody else, I'm not going to do it. Period. - I'm going to stop here people. This subject has become a little too personal to me as of lately....=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #37 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteIt's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? If you cheated because you fell in love, and follow through with a commitment to that person you love, there's no reason why it would work out any worse (or better for that matter) than the previous relationship. I am not advocating cheating on one's spouse. But i think there are instances where the person committing adultery is not necessary an asshole. The new relationship very rarely develops enough for marriage. The married person either goes back to their spouse or eventually finds someone else when they get bored with you. Somebody seeking the passions of another while still in a committed marriage is quite often searching for something that doesn't exist. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChasingBlueSky 0 #38 September 30, 2004 Quote I would have to say that is the best answer to her question...who would want to admit to being an adulterer? Better yet, why would someone want to date one? Let's see, they break a sacred promise to their partner....I'm suuuure they are going to treat another piece of meat, I mean, person, that much better._________________________________________ you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me.... I WILL fly again..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #39 September 30, 2004 QuoteSomebody seeking the passions of another while still in a committed marriage is quite often searching for something that doesn't exist. I will definitely give you that. And there are lots of assholes pretending they will get out of their "commitment" just for the quick action. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #40 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteWhy aren't the people who are voting "yes" replying? I'm interested to hear your reason for why you'd do it. A lot of times I hear a certain reason repeated from married women. "It wasn't really cheating because I knew the relationship was over. I had told him and we were just waiting to file the paperwork." Just after I got divorced, I worked at a large corp office. I got propositioned by bored married women about once a month. Just "an afternoon at the Red Roof Inn, no strings". They liked their life, kids, car, home, and even their husband. They were just bored with the "same old" in bed. I'm also sure they weren't just asking me. I already had enough drama, stress, paranoia, and stupidity in my life though. Smart man...~R+R...Marriage is a bond...My word is my bond...Period. Personally I have been with someone that was supposed to be in a process of divorce and it ended up being the biggest heart break of my life. ... I also know somebody that happens to be very close to me still going through this. ... sometimes you just haveta "pull" _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottbre 0 #41 September 30, 2004 Upon further review, I think the poll needs to be modified further. It should say: Would you screw someone who is married to someone other than yourself? The way it is right now, I could see how you could get 'yes' answers from some smartasses out there. Conundrum is still cool. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChasingBlueSky 0 #42 September 30, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteGah! Thats even worse You mean everyone on this forum was single for a while until they got involved in a relationship? Is there a possibility that a married person meets someone, falls in love, gets divorced and moves on with that new relationship? Just wondering. Flame away It's very rare the new relationship works out. Ask yourself: Would you want to marry someone who cheated on their spouse with you? How could you ever trust them? Exactly. On top of that, you know where their priorites are at. Getting laid with someone else, anyone else, is more important than who you are to them, the feelings you have for them don't matter, and the feelings they have for you apparently were not enough. Nor do they care about the pain and hurt they will inflict upon you. It shows a total lack of respect. How sad is that person? A few moments in the sack is worth losing someone special over? Well, that is just a really special form of immaturity then, isn't it? How can anyone make that choice? What really saddens me is watching people, very good people, take this person back into their lives. That just reeks of low self esteem._________________________________________ you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me.... I WILL fly again..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #43 September 30, 2004 It's nice to hear that many others agree that cheating on a spouse is definitely not cool. Furthermore, the same or similar standards should be given in any serious and loving relationship, not just marriages. Earlier this year, I was broken up with my boyfriend, and I was very, very briefly involved with another guy. While I was officially not with my boyfriend anymore, a part of me felt as though I was cheating on him, even though I was not. It was very emotionally painful and mentally confusing, but it made me realize how much I still loved him as I knew that he was still in love with me, as well. This experience showed me that it cannot feel good to try to move on when your heart is not ready. Also, like many other women, I have been approached several times in my life by married men. Usually the men were wealthy, powerful and even very attractive as well; however, I could never never hurt another woman or myself in that way. I always turned them down. It must be so difficult and complicated to become involved in extra-marital affairs. I just don't understand...why risk losing so much and causing so much pain to so many for brief physical pleasure? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #44 September 30, 2004 I've been the wife. No thinks I'll keep my puppy. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DTOXX 0 #45 September 30, 2004 First and foremost I can not imagine actually cheating on my wife. I can think about it but that is as far as it goes. I am extremely happy with my marriage, my family and my life. Even if my marriage was not great I have a family. I was raised in a home that was in a constant state of divorce (my mother is on her 5th husband) and would not wish this on any child of any age. If I had too I would hold my marriage together for YEARS to save my children this life. Ultimately I love my wife and there is no offer of sex or drama that can replace that.On the other hand my wife is a lawyer and she would take not only her half but mine as well. ------- D.T. Holder SIMstudy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
malboy 0 #46 September 30, 2004 i played around with a girl who was in a long term relationship, we ended up going out after she split up with her boyfriend, but it didnt work out because i could never bring myself trust her [no matter how much i wanted to] i always felt like if she could cheat with me, she could cheat on me. definately would never do it againwww.ewancowie.com www.facebook.com/ewancowiephotography Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SimpleOne 0 #47 September 30, 2004 Do you think the standard changes when the other party is not married, but living together with someone? Just curious. For the record, my answer was no, I wouldn't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #48 September 30, 2004 Nope. I won't even touch anyone who has a boyfriend. If they're interested in me, they can break off their other relationship. I don't share. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #49 September 30, 2004 Are you saying that she cheated on him with you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #50 September 30, 2004 Quotei always felt like if she could cheat with me, she could cheat on me. I was in a 3 year relationship, met a girl who was involved with someone for years; we clicked, dumped our respective BF/GF, got married 5 weeks later. Didn't last forever. Only 9 years... But it never occured to me that her sleeping with me while she was (and so was I) involved with someone else would make her "risky" for a committed relationship. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
