chaoskitty 0 #1 June 17, 2004 Not PC at all.. but who is??.. tried to work a sistuh ta deaf... lmao!! GHETTO RESUME Rozonda LaQueeta "Pookie" Jenkins 2036 South Side Skreet Projects Compton, CA 11122 Phone: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th. OBJECTIVE: To one day fulfill my dream of becoming a SoulTrain Dancer and, you know, just gittin my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist in the 'hood.' SKILLS: I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I use my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I do braids in any texture or color; synthetoc or human hurh. EDUCATION: The "GET YOURS" Home Correspondence Course, INC: Big Mamma's House of Hair 'N Nails 'N Fried Chicken 'N Stuff (Gradiated with honors for the most extensions don in a year's time) WORK EXPERIENCE: January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999 Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait 'N TackleShop Reason for leaving; I got sick 'n tired of Big Daddy hittin on me. March 1, 1999-November 1, 1999 The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium I loveded this job cuz they gave me a free toof ary monf and now I Can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cuz I let one of my homeboys sniff the laughing gas. He just smelt it, he don't do drugs no mo. November 2, 1999-November 10, 1999 My Baby Daddy's Day Care Center Car Wash & Barber Shop Reason for leaving: They tried to work a sistuh ta deaf and I got thangs ta do November 12, 1999- November 14, 1999 Kim Fung Toi's House of Rice & Skrimps and Stuff Reason For Leaving: You don't even wanna know Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube Reason for leaving: Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on an overflow of activator. The Ike Turner Pimp Slap Recovery Center (They have lovely commodations; yes I worked there and was a patient too.) Reason for leaving: Center closed down cuz Tina Turner done refused Ike's request to give a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside haself since she a big star and arythang. He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush,Tennessee. REFERENCES: Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet) Hezakiah Clevestus "The Playa" Jones (my homie's cuzzin's babydaddy) The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin "ineedadrank" O'grady (pastor of The Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crzjp20 0 #2 June 17, 2004 dang girl i like your educational experience-------------------------------------------------- Fear is not a confession of weakness, it is an oportunity for courage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #3 June 17, 2004 Just call me LaQueeta... they only call me Pookie at the Ike Turner Bitch Slap Recovery Center... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
champu 1 #4 June 22, 2004 That's not Compton's Zip Code Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #5 June 22, 2004 QuoteThat's not Compton's Zip Code Reading it sounded more like East Point, GA. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflake 0 #6 June 22, 2004 Wow thats really funny and mind opening at the same time........thanks for sharing that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auryn 0 #7 June 22, 2004 QuoteThat's not Compton's Zip Code I think that's the point.. the author of this brilliant resume would just put in the first convenient numbers.. 1s and 2s Blue Skies ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #8 June 22, 2004 Funny? sure.. Mind-opening? ehhh.. not so much.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #9 June 22, 2004 I think it's a disgusting racist piece of crap and I'm sure many African Americans wouldn't share your sense of humor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #10 June 22, 2004 Well, I'm not African American and I appreciate your humor. So there. Thanks for posting it. It's not mind opening, or enlightening, or whatever, but it's funny. And that's all that matters, dammit.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #11 June 22, 2004 Well thats OK.. there had to be at least one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #12 June 22, 2004 QuoteWell thats OK.. there had to be at least one. Oh, there's more than one. It's apparently over your head though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #13 June 22, 2004 When I quit hearing my perfectly mature and educated african american co-workers using terms like "babydaddy", "axe", and "git my hurh did".. I'll quit thinking its funny. I'm not saying your opinion is wrong.. I just think mine is not unrealistic.. and if you cant laugh at reality.. its just too sad. I guess it depends on your exposure though. Theres more to life than this thread. Carry on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gravitymaster 0 #14 June 22, 2004 QuoteWhen I quit hearing my perfectly mature and educated african american co-workers using terms like "babydaddy", "axe", and "git my hurh did".. I'll quit thinking its funny. I'm not saying your opinion is wrong.. I just think mine is not unrealistic.. and if you cant laugh at reality.. its just too sad. I guess it depends on your exposure though. Theres more to life than this thread. Carry on. I'd be happy to discuss this with you, as I am sure others would, if we can get it moved to S.C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Duckwater 0 #15 June 22, 2004 Sheet Girl, you must be drunker than an Indian on payday to post something this racially insensitive! If you weren't such a Jew, you would offer all negros an apology by buying them a bottle of Malt Liquor. Also, I support gay marriage, as long as both chicks are hot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #16 June 22, 2004 Quote I'd be happy to discuss this with you, as I am sure others would, if we can get it moved to S.C. No, thanks. It was meant as a joke. Lots of people got it.. lots of people wont. If I wanted to turn it in to a debate, I would have posted it in SC. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #17 June 22, 2004 Quoteyou would offer all negros an apology by buying them a bottle of Malt Liquor. How dare you presume that all African-Americans will forgive you for a bottle of Malt Liquor? Some of them would much more prefer a crack hit. For all I can see, my tongue is still sitting in my cheek, and yes, I know I am going to hell.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Layton 0 #18 June 22, 2004 i wuddunt hittin on ya that hard.i just axe ya to do the dirty boogie a couple dozen times,i even offered some ripple but you done got uppity at the slap a ho house Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yoink 321 #19 June 22, 2004 QuoteQuote I'd be happy to discuss this with you, as I am sure others would, if we can get it moved to S.C. No, thanks. It was meant as a joke. Lots of people got it.. lots of people wont. If I wanted to turn it in to a debate, I would have posted it in SC. [does mad head bob thing] you go girl, uh huh *snaps fingers [/mad head bob thing] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zulu 0 #20 June 22, 2004 HMMMMMMMMMMM I see both sides of this thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #21 June 22, 2004 Me too. Zulu, you from Africa or South Africa originally? Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #22 June 22, 2004 Quote The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin "ineedadrank" O'grady (pastor of The Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.) Does this guy work for Bush? (Sorry, dont move this to Speakers Corner....) Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #23 June 22, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhen I quit hearing my perfectly mature and educated african american co-workers using terms like "babydaddy", "axe", and "git my hurh did".. I'll quit thinking its funny. I'm not saying your opinion is wrong.. I just think mine is not unrealistic.. and if you cant laugh at reality.. its just too sad. I guess it depends on your exposure though. Theres more to life than this thread. Carry on. I'd be happy to discuss this with you, as I am sure others would, if we can get it moved to S.C. ...just because your life is spent arguing crap in Speaker's Corner doesn't mean the rest of us have to... I didn't see you bitching about this ...thread. We were having a great time with it, because we saw the humor. -Oh wait, you probably didn't have an opinion on that...you were too busy arguing politics in Speaker's Corner... Duckwater posted: Quote Sheet Girl, you must be drunker than an Indian on payday to post something this racially insensitive! Now am I freakin' pissed off because my family is native american? No, it was a joke, and I'm not about to stir shit JUST FOR THE SAKE of stirring shit. (I thought that was funny, myself...I can laugh at my own culture too) What about all of the female jokes? Blond jokes? What else? If you had an actual grievance, I could understand it...but seeing your track record...once again, you're just trying to find something that you can create a debate out of. Starting crap just to pick a fight is not cool in Bonfire. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Icarus 0 #24 June 22, 2004 I thought this one is pretty funny: WAL-MART Job Application: This is allegedly an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to Wal-Mart in Florida ... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmar SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING?: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK?: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, wouldn't I be there? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. ________________________________________ "What What..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloud_monkey 0 #25 June 22, 2004 QuoteWow thats really funny and mind opening at the same time........thanks for sharing that I don't think she gets it, G Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
