If you lost your spouse, could you be with another person?

[JRock 0]

I am not married, but was thinking about this.
I honestly don't know how I would answer this.
My first instinct would be to say No.

[OrangeJumper 0]

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I am not married, but was thinking about this.
I honestly don't know how I would answer this.
My first instinct would be to say No.

I will never have to worried about this because I will never have a spouse

The Original Cabana Boy!

[jumpergirl 0]

I just don't know.

[Sheenster303 0]

Don't know until it actually happens. I guess it really depends on how old I was when I lost my husband. No one would be a "replacement" though. I guess the other guy would just be fluff to me.

I'm so funny I crack my head open!

P.M.S. #102

[Frenchy68 0]

Yes. And I would expect the same from my spouse should the roles be reversed.

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[Muenkel 0]

I think it really depends on the individual. My friend just lost his wife in Feb. at the age of 39. He swears he will never remarry. Of course he is still in the depth of grief right now.

On the flipside, my uncle lost his wife in his early 70's after 49 years of marriage. He was dating within a year and married within 2 years.

I don't believe there is any right answer to this question.

Chris

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Chris

[freeflir29 0]

It would take some time but you would HAVE to move on sooner or later. I certainly wouldn't want my spouse to spend the rest of her life grieving for me. I'd want her to move on and be happy.

[CanuckInUSA 0]

Never say never. It all depends on the individual and where they are in their life.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[jumpergirl 0]

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I don't believe there is any right answer to this question.

You're exectly right. Every person and every relationship is different.

[weegegirl 2]

Only time can tell. If I was married someday, and something happened to me, I would be crushed if my other 1/2 felt the need to be alone forever. Being with someone else is not by any means replacing what was lost. But, you can't stop living until your dead.

Losing loved ones is tough and can effect each individual differently. I lost my high school boyfriend to a drunk driving car accident. (wow, that was 12 years ago!) Not that that can compare to a 25 year marriage.

[boinky 0]

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"'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and on-one elese can fit. Why would I want them to?" -- Anonymous

If you found someone else you could stand to be with, then I'd say go for it. You're not forgetting the other person...they will always be there with you. But I'm sure they'd want you to be happy and not alone.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[BillyVance 34]

It would depend on some factors... If I lost my wife of 4-1/2 years (I'm 37 yrs old), I might find another woman, but I would not be in any hurry. I may well take a few years before I feel like it.

If I were older and had been married longer, probably not.

Again, it just depends on how I feel at the time. You can't just commit yourself to a certain lifestyle and expect it to suit yourself 5 or 10 years from now. You just might feel differently. Even if you aren't looking, the right person might pop in your life when you least expect it, and it can be a blessing.

Of course, if you and your spouse talked about this before he/she died and a promise was made, then the moral would be to hold fast to that promise.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[mailin 0]

Depends on the individual and the relationship. A friend of mine's father passed away after a long battle with cancer and her mother was dating again within 2 years - but another friend with the same situation's mother has just started dating again 13 years later.

If I was in this situation I can honestly say that I would be devastated and crushed (I actually worry about it often for some unknown reason ). I think that after many years I may be able to open up again and see other people - but it would definitely take time

Jen

Arianna Frances

[Muenkel 0]

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But I'm sure they'd want you to be happy and not alone.

Here's the gist of it.

Let's face it, the deceased does not care. It's the survivor that has to resolve the feelings within them. Loving another after your spouse or SO has died, does not replace or erase that love. Humans are capable of infinite love.

Chris

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Chris

[Rebecca 0]

After the Schiavo case came up in conversation with the folks this weekend, talk turned to living wills, and then Mom started saying how she wants Dad to find companionship if anything ever happens to her...

I had to get up. It's a sweet (if morbid) sentiment, but I just don't want to think about that.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[swedishcelt 0]

I think that personally that if I were to die I would definitely find it proof of the love between us to have my SO be able to move on. Keep faith in our love by sharing new love with someone else. People's bodies die, love doesn't IMHO.
I would hope that whoever he may be, he would feel the same way about me moving on.

[2fat2fly 0]

Depends on if any cute chicks show up at the funeral or not

That's the answer that I always give my wife....then I run away

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[weegegirl 2]

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Depends on if any cute chicks show up at the funeral or not

That's the answer that I always give my wife....then I run away

wow! that's pretty evil!

[Muenkel 0]

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After the Schiavo case came up in conversation with the folks this weekend, talk turned to living wills, and then Mom started saying how she wants Dad to find companionship if anything ever happens to her...

I had to get up. It's a sweet (if morbid) sentiment, but I just don't want to think about that.

Ooh, very good point! After reading your post, I thought of my parents. They're coming up on 49 years of marriage. I cannot even fathom either one dating someone else. That may be selfish of me, but it's also funky to me.

When I went to the wedding of my above mentioned uncle, I asked my cousins how they felt about it and if it was troubling. They did admit that it was weird for them, but his new wife was so different than their mother and very likeable in her own way.

Chris

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Chris

[freeflir29 0]

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That's the answer that I always give my wife....then I run away

Being that you are still physically able to type I'm guessing that you are able to outrun her.

[bobsled92 0]

If you lost your spouse, could you be with another person?
*********It depends.......what are the chances that she will find me again?

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[airtwardo 6]

If you lost your spouse, could you be with another person?

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Do you mean LOST..or MISPLACED?!?

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[kelel01 1]

You know . . . I said "I don't know". But who here really thinks you can't fall madly in love with more than one person? Get married, they pass on, and after you've moved on, why can't you fall in love again? It doesn't have to be a marriage of convenience, lonliness or desperation . . . it could be yet another based on love.

Guess it would all depend, is what I'm saying. I'm not gonna get married (ever - for the first time or the 50th ) for the wrong reasons. If the right reasons present themselves, then yea for me. Might happen once or 10 times. (Well, hopefully I won't be widowed or divorced 9 times, but you know what I mean - lightning can strike twice.) Who knows?

[Muenkel 0]

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But who here really thinks you can't fall madly in love with more than one person?

I know. I was in love with you for about 2 minutes and I moved on.

Chris

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Chris

[kelel01 1]

You suck.