Things NOT To Say To A Cop

[boinky 0]

1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

2. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

3. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!
5. Bad cop! No donut!

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

7. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

8. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. I pay your salary!

11. Excuse me...is stick up hyphenated?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

13. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

14. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

15. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[DaGimp 0]

16. No officer i dont know how fast i was going, my speedometer stops at 80.



yes i have said that to a cop once......and yes i got a ticket.

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[BillyVance 34]

"Wow, how many doughnuts did you have this morning?"

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[unformed 0]

Yes sir. I realize I am drunk. I wasn't planning on driving, but I realized I couldn't even stand up straight, there was no way I was walking up. So I decided to drive.

A friend of mine's dad said that to a cop when he was shitfaced, and the cop drove him home.

This ad space for sale.

[BillyVance 34]

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Yes sir. I realize I am drunk. I wasn't planning on driving, but I realized I couldn't even stand up straight, there was no way I was walking up. So I decided to drive.

A friend of mine's dad said that to a cop when he was shitfaced, and the cop drove him home.

Wow... that's one lucky bastard... where was that?

I got pulled over once years ago after a beach jump at the Florabama bar and having several beers over 3 or 4 hours there. Then had to get my car back to the drop zone. In retrospect, I should have had someone drive me. I'd done well enough to get 4/5th of the way there, but crossed the center line once at the wrong time and got pulled over. I was honest with the lady cop and successfully went through her tests, and she cut me some slack. Since then, I never drove again after more than a couple of beers over an hour... Too irresponsible and stupid...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Beeron 0]

When caught speeding, I've always wanted to say:

"Well, I just happen to have a blatant disrespect for the locally mandated speed ordinances"

But then again.....I really don't want to go to jail.

B~

[boinky 0]

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"Well, I just happen to have a blatant disrespect for the locally mandated speed ordinances"

But then again.....I really don't want to go to jail.

Next time, say it! That would be funny as shit! We'll take up an offering to pay your bail.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[Beeron 0]

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Next time, say it! That would be funny as shit! We'll take up an offering to pay your bail.

The attached pic is what I drive, so it's not hard for me to get pulled over at all

B~

[boinky 0]

[B]SWEET!!!

That's funny. I just did an entire search/build on one of those last week and told someone I wanted one. Convertible, though. I didn't care for their color options, though. I needed a lighter blue to match a Dodge truck.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[unformed 0]

Peru, it also helped that the dad was well known in the community.

This ad space for sale.

[BillyVance 34]

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Next time, say it! That would be funny as shit! We'll take up an offering to pay your bail.

The attached pic is what I drive, so it's not hard for me to get pulled over at all

B~

Hell, it don't matter what I drive... I've gotten pulled over in just about every car or truck I've ever owned...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[rickmontgomery 0]

"Sure, you can see my license... can I shoot your gun

[Squeak 17]

18. Why was I doing 120 officer? Well I was slowing down thats why

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[gordy 0]

17. Of course I am driving after drinking, do you expect me to walk in this condition?

[mr2mk1g 10]

19.
Q: Why were you driving in the +1 lane?
A: I didn't see you.

(genuine answer given by one of my lecturers back at law school - he fought the ticket on a technicality for a laugh and won with costs).

Nice guy - nickname was Snape-Doggy-Dog as his name was Professor Snape.

[Buried 0]

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1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

haven't said that, but have asked the cop how he got me since my radar dectector didn't go off.. (after he handed me the ticket of course.

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[airborne31582 0]

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5. Bad cop! No donut!

Unless you live in the Southwest...then it's Bad cop! No Burrito!

Heard that from a cop when he pulled me over

Chris
I thought of the odds of me succeeding, versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.

[DrunkMonkey 0]

Take a few questions from Dieter of Sprockets:

"Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered in sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh vell, the beat goes on."

"Vould you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Love him! Liebe meine abst-monkey."

"Your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?"

"You are beautiful and angular."

"You disturb me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now."

[bodizaffah 0]

Have I been drinking?... Why??? is there a fat chick in the back?

______________________________________________________________


"Give me some duct tape, chewing gum, and some Jack Daniels and I can fix damn near anything"

[EyeofHorus 0]

"Sorry officer I got here as fast as I could!"

It's not what you do in life, it's what you do with your life that counts.

[nanook 1]

"You're a public servant, get me a glass of water!!"

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[BillyVance 34]

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1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

haven't said that, but have asked the cop how he got me since my radar dectector didn't go off.. (after he handed me the ticket of course.

Either he had been using one of the new Laser guns or had a partner timing you from point A to point B from an airplane... we've got both happening here in Alabama from time to time.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Candy 0]

20. Do you mind if I sip my Beer? I have a terrible case of cotton mouth.

[flyangel2 2]

Billy, I told you this one trick got me out of a ticket.

I don't say anything, I just act deaf

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Buried 0]

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1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

haven't said that, but have asked the cop how he got me since my radar dectector didn't go off.. (after he handed me the ticket of course.

Either he had been using one of the new Laser guns or had a partner timing you from point A to point B from an airplane... we've got both happening here in Alabama from time to time.

Neither. He was using a radar gun.. If you quickly press the trigger it does not set off the detector since it's too short of a burst.
When I pulled away he came up along side of me and leaned over witht he gun.. making my detector go on and off for a about 30 seconds.. I threw up my hands and laughed. He did the same and then took off.

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?