Rebecca 0 #1 January 10, 2006 Just outta curiosity, how would someone go about innocently bugging the crap out of some holier-than-thou vegetarian hippies? I'm talking about the kind of person who would walk into your home as a guest and criticize you for getting the daily paper... I have a few in mind: 1.) wash hands with gusto, paying no attention to the sheer gallons flowing down the drain 2.) bring and eat hot dogs with relish (the condiment and the enjoyment) 3.) doodle, draw, and make lists on pretty paper - then throw it away 4.) bring freshly murdered flowers 5.) go on and on and on about my SUV's emissions and gas mileage you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #2 January 10, 2006 Go on and on about all the fossil fuels you're wasting by jumping out of airplanes Tell them you're considering getting some cattle so your steaks won't cost as much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #3 January 10, 2006 be nice, offer to make dinner. Use animal fats. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #4 January 10, 2006 Definitely the hotdogs and relish, cooked over a real wood fireThe only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #5 January 10, 2006 Call them a taxi, so they dont have to walk home........ as soon as it arrives! (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #6 January 10, 2006 Quotebe nice, offer to make dinner. Use animal fats. Use Crisco..........lard will get em everytimeMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #7 January 10, 2006 QuoteGo on and on about all the fossil fuels you're wasting by jumping out of airplanes Tell them you're considering getting some cattle so your steaks won't cost as much. If I could, I'd walk in munching Hasenpfeffer right off the spit... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites j0nes 0 #8 January 10, 2006 wear fur Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites susanjumps 0 #9 January 10, 2006 And leather shoesErleichda! "I just wasn't myself today," Gupta commented. "I wasn't any self today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #10 January 10, 2006 If, they invite you to dinner, load-up your plate. I mean, heap it on. Eat about a third of it, push away from the table, patting your tummy saying how 'stuffed' you are! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CSpenceFLY 1 #11 January 11, 2006 Tell them it took too long to get to the top of the food chain to voluntarily give it up. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites waltappel 1 #12 January 11, 2006 I have a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Animals". Right below that it says, "They're delicious!" Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites yamtx73 0 #13 January 11, 2006 QuoteI have a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Animals". Right below that it says, "They're delicious!" Walt PETA... People Eating Tasty Animals.. The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites soulshine 0 #14 January 11, 2006 Well, since I am a lazier-than-thou vegetarian hippy (basically, I don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone to live in peace) I will offer a few pointers from personal experience. -Invite them to dinner and add meat to all dishes. I once went to dinner at a friend's house and even the cabbage had hunks of bacon fat in it! -Ask them to try on your new fur coat. Happened to me once and the person was offended when I bluntly told them that it was not my style. -When you go out to dinner order a steak rare and then proceed to put your bread in the blood that is on the plate while exclaiming that you love a "juicy" steak. -Have a cookout and serve only hamburgers, hotdogs, and potatoe chips. From a vegetarian's perspective, this really sucks because you get stuck in the corner with a bag of Cheetos. -Spill something and use huge wads of paper towels to clean up the mess. -Repeatedly harp about the "merits" of driving an SUV. -Loudly voice your opinion that all animals in a shelter should be put to sleep immediately because they are a drain on valuable resources. -Water your lawn right before they come over, make sure the sprinkles are on full force when they pull up. I could go on and on but since I am a lazier-than-thou vegetarian hippy I think that is enough typing for one night. My fingers are tired from the effort so I must go find some carrot juice and tofu to eat while doing yoga to get the energy levels back up. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #15 January 11, 2006 - Nothing works like taxidermy. How cool would it be to have a vegan hippie there when you say that you bagged that owl with a pellet gun, and it only took 7 shots to put it out of its misery. Go further and brag about how good your taxidermist is for being able to not only hide the pellet holes, for reducing the fractured wing that happened when it fell from its nest after the third shot. Let hippie know you didn't know owls could run so fast with a broken wing. - Get a few rats from or mice from a pet store and keep them caged in the living room. Before your guest arrives, put makeup on most of their faces. Let hippie know that you personally test all skin products and makeup before you use them to make sure they don't cause rashes or illness. Have next to the cage a bottle of industrial solvent with and write a time on it that is about 10 minutes before guest arrived. Let the guest know you hate wearing gloves when cleaning, and you need to know how safe the product is. Point to some imaginary swelling on the makeup-less rat's nose. Say, "I'm not using this stuff" and throw it away. - Go to a place and purchase some live rock cod and put it in your fish tank. Wait for the hippie to talk about the nice fish, and you can mention that you just got him. Reach in with a metal hook and pull it out, kill it, bleed it (make sure you spill some_, gut in and cook it up. Let hippie know that you named the fish "Dinner." As a matter of courtesy, offer your guest the tender meat from the masseter. - Let the hippie know that you are frying with manteca. - Find some horrific looking rabbit from the pound and adopt it. Let her know that it's through a program that adopts animals injured during the harvest after being mutilated by farm equipment during the harvest. Ask how anyone can each grains and vegetables after seeing the destruction. Euthanize the rabbit. - Keep a couple of cuspidors on the coffee table. - Hang a confederate flag (they HATE those) - Wear a sorority sweater. - Listen to Christian radio, and say grace before eating. - Ask for stock advice. Let hippie know that you are interested in petroleum stocks, since you are banking on a cold winter, increased prices and you've got a tip that the EPA is getting defunded, so you're gonna cash in. (Also works with prescription drug comanies, Microsoft and Halliburton) Dang, I could keep on going with this... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #16 January 11, 2006 My cousin and I were roommates for a while. We were going out to our fav rollerblading spot on the beach, so we had the cooler out. It was about 9am and we were icing down some beer and sandwiches for the day when the doorbell rang. My ex was a Jehovahs Witness, so we recognized it immediately. He pops in a porn tape and I turn on the tv. I plopped down on the couch and he invites them in. "Can I offer you a beer?" About that time, they notice what is on tv and left. Some people just can't deal with a good "challenge". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites soulshine 0 #17 January 11, 2006 Ooohhhh.... you're sooo going to hell. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #18 January 11, 2006 QuoteOoohhhh.... you're sooo going to hell. I ain't skeered. I was married to his sister for a dozen years. "I dunno... we keep telling him about all the pain and suffering... he won't stop that blasted snickering..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CSpenceFLY 1 #19 January 11, 2006 So I'm doing one of my BBQs at the dZ and every time someone come up to tell me they are vegetarian.So this girl walk up looks at all the meat on the grill and asks,"What do you have for a veretarian???I look around think for a minute and said well I have baked beans.Than I say,"Oh never mind those have bacon in them.I guess you better go to the store. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites soulshine 0 #20 January 11, 2006 I have ran into this more times than I can count. Or someone will tell me to just pick the bacon out. I don't feel that others should have to cater to my lifestyle choice so if I know that someone's cooking out I usually volunteer to help with the cooking or bring my own veggie burgers to put on the grill and a few side dishes. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SuFantasma 0 #21 January 11, 2006 QuoteJust outta curiosity, how would someone go about innocently bugging the crap out of some holier-than-thou vegetarian hippies? I'm talking about the kind of person who would walk into your home as a guest and criticize you for getting the daily paper... I have a few in mind: 1.) wash hands with gusto, paying no attention to the sheer gallons flowing down the drain 2.) bring and eat hot dogs with relish (the condiment and the enjoyment) 3.) doodle, draw, and make lists on pretty paper - then throw it away 4.) bring freshly murdered flowers 5.) go on and on and on about my SUV's emissions and gas mileage In my humble (But very accurate) opinion, the suggestions above are merely revenge acts.. What we could do is to drive the point home.... 1) Take a shit in a plastic bag and gracefully (while smiling) ask them to accept some home-made fertilizer for their trees at home. I would expect at least a thank you from them. 2) Ask them to extend the palms of their hands and immediately sneez snot over their palms. Then politely ask them if they can pet-sit your pet viruses while you go attend a "Save the Amazon Forest" convention. 3) Ask them to join the "Get to know your pet" support group, where they will be teaching you how to make a pet feel part of the family by role-playing the part of the pet. You will then announce that next meeting is the Spay/Neuter your best friend meeting.Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo". - Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #22 January 11, 2006 QuoteSo I'm doing one of my BBQs at the dZ and every time someone come up to tell me they are vegetarian.So this girl walk up looks at all the meat on the grill and asks,"What do you have for a veretarian???I look around think for a minute and said well I have baked beans.Than I say,"Oh never mind those have bacon in them.I guess you better go to the store. . Well, you can always do a few skewers of vegetables like onions, green peppers, squash, etc, and season them really well. Nice complement for any meats, AND shuts the vegetarians up. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Broke 0 #23 January 11, 2006 Quote Well, you can always do a few skewers of vegetables like onions, green peppers, squash, etc, and season them really well. Nice complement for any meats, AND shuts the vegetarians up. And those scwere must be complete with meat wrapped in bacon... mmmm bacon and meat. meaty meaty goodnessDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites AlexCrowley 0 #24 January 11, 2006 Quote - Nothing works like taxidermy. I got this far and thought 'wow, how tasteless' but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Kill and stuff these assholes and use them as a warning for the next bunch of vegans. Then again they'd probably congratulate you on your recycling of natural resources. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Beverly 1 #25 January 11, 2006 bad karma I think true friendship is under-rated Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Rebecca 0 #7 January 10, 2006 QuoteGo on and on about all the fossil fuels you're wasting by jumping out of airplanes Tell them you're considering getting some cattle so your steaks won't cost as much. If I could, I'd walk in munching Hasenpfeffer right off the spit... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
susanjumps 0 #9 January 10, 2006 And leather shoesErleichda! "I just wasn't myself today," Gupta commented. "I wasn't any self today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #10 January 10, 2006 If, they invite you to dinner, load-up your plate. I mean, heap it on. Eat about a third of it, push away from the table, patting your tummy saying how 'stuffed' you are! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #11 January 11, 2006 Tell them it took too long to get to the top of the food chain to voluntarily give it up. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #12 January 11, 2006 I have a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Animals". Right below that it says, "They're delicious!" Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #13 January 11, 2006 QuoteI have a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Animals". Right below that it says, "They're delicious!" Walt PETA... People Eating Tasty Animals.. The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soulshine 0 #14 January 11, 2006 Well, since I am a lazier-than-thou vegetarian hippy (basically, I don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone to live in peace) I will offer a few pointers from personal experience. -Invite them to dinner and add meat to all dishes. I once went to dinner at a friend's house and even the cabbage had hunks of bacon fat in it! -Ask them to try on your new fur coat. Happened to me once and the person was offended when I bluntly told them that it was not my style. -When you go out to dinner order a steak rare and then proceed to put your bread in the blood that is on the plate while exclaiming that you love a "juicy" steak. -Have a cookout and serve only hamburgers, hotdogs, and potatoe chips. From a vegetarian's perspective, this really sucks because you get stuck in the corner with a bag of Cheetos. -Spill something and use huge wads of paper towels to clean up the mess. -Repeatedly harp about the "merits" of driving an SUV. -Loudly voice your opinion that all animals in a shelter should be put to sleep immediately because they are a drain on valuable resources. -Water your lawn right before they come over, make sure the sprinkles are on full force when they pull up. I could go on and on but since I am a lazier-than-thou vegetarian hippy I think that is enough typing for one night. My fingers are tired from the effort so I must go find some carrot juice and tofu to eat while doing yoga to get the energy levels back up. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #15 January 11, 2006 - Nothing works like taxidermy. How cool would it be to have a vegan hippie there when you say that you bagged that owl with a pellet gun, and it only took 7 shots to put it out of its misery. Go further and brag about how good your taxidermist is for being able to not only hide the pellet holes, for reducing the fractured wing that happened when it fell from its nest after the third shot. Let hippie know you didn't know owls could run so fast with a broken wing. - Get a few rats from or mice from a pet store and keep them caged in the living room. Before your guest arrives, put makeup on most of their faces. Let hippie know that you personally test all skin products and makeup before you use them to make sure they don't cause rashes or illness. Have next to the cage a bottle of industrial solvent with and write a time on it that is about 10 minutes before guest arrived. Let the guest know you hate wearing gloves when cleaning, and you need to know how safe the product is. Point to some imaginary swelling on the makeup-less rat's nose. Say, "I'm not using this stuff" and throw it away. - Go to a place and purchase some live rock cod and put it in your fish tank. Wait for the hippie to talk about the nice fish, and you can mention that you just got him. Reach in with a metal hook and pull it out, kill it, bleed it (make sure you spill some_, gut in and cook it up. Let hippie know that you named the fish "Dinner." As a matter of courtesy, offer your guest the tender meat from the masseter. - Let the hippie know that you are frying with manteca. - Find some horrific looking rabbit from the pound and adopt it. Let her know that it's through a program that adopts animals injured during the harvest after being mutilated by farm equipment during the harvest. Ask how anyone can each grains and vegetables after seeing the destruction. Euthanize the rabbit. - Keep a couple of cuspidors on the coffee table. - Hang a confederate flag (they HATE those) - Wear a sorority sweater. - Listen to Christian radio, and say grace before eating. - Ask for stock advice. Let hippie know that you are interested in petroleum stocks, since you are banking on a cold winter, increased prices and you've got a tip that the EPA is getting defunded, so you're gonna cash in. (Also works with prescription drug comanies, Microsoft and Halliburton) Dang, I could keep on going with this... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #16 January 11, 2006 My cousin and I were roommates for a while. We were going out to our fav rollerblading spot on the beach, so we had the cooler out. It was about 9am and we were icing down some beer and sandwiches for the day when the doorbell rang. My ex was a Jehovahs Witness, so we recognized it immediately. He pops in a porn tape and I turn on the tv. I plopped down on the couch and he invites them in. "Can I offer you a beer?" About that time, they notice what is on tv and left. Some people just can't deal with a good "challenge". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soulshine 0 #17 January 11, 2006 Ooohhhh.... you're sooo going to hell. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #18 January 11, 2006 QuoteOoohhhh.... you're sooo going to hell. I ain't skeered. I was married to his sister for a dozen years. "I dunno... we keep telling him about all the pain and suffering... he won't stop that blasted snickering..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #19 January 11, 2006 So I'm doing one of my BBQs at the dZ and every time someone come up to tell me they are vegetarian.So this girl walk up looks at all the meat on the grill and asks,"What do you have for a veretarian???I look around think for a minute and said well I have baked beans.Than I say,"Oh never mind those have bacon in them.I guess you better go to the store. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soulshine 0 #20 January 11, 2006 I have ran into this more times than I can count. Or someone will tell me to just pick the bacon out. I don't feel that others should have to cater to my lifestyle choice so if I know that someone's cooking out I usually volunteer to help with the cooking or bring my own veggie burgers to put on the grill and a few side dishes. Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuFantasma 0 #21 January 11, 2006 QuoteJust outta curiosity, how would someone go about innocently bugging the crap out of some holier-than-thou vegetarian hippies? I'm talking about the kind of person who would walk into your home as a guest and criticize you for getting the daily paper... I have a few in mind: 1.) wash hands with gusto, paying no attention to the sheer gallons flowing down the drain 2.) bring and eat hot dogs with relish (the condiment and the enjoyment) 3.) doodle, draw, and make lists on pretty paper - then throw it away 4.) bring freshly murdered flowers 5.) go on and on and on about my SUV's emissions and gas mileage In my humble (But very accurate) opinion, the suggestions above are merely revenge acts.. What we could do is to drive the point home.... 1) Take a shit in a plastic bag and gracefully (while smiling) ask them to accept some home-made fertilizer for their trees at home. I would expect at least a thank you from them. 2) Ask them to extend the palms of their hands and immediately sneez snot over their palms. Then politely ask them if they can pet-sit your pet viruses while you go attend a "Save the Amazon Forest" convention. 3) Ask them to join the "Get to know your pet" support group, where they will be teaching you how to make a pet feel part of the family by role-playing the part of the pet. You will then announce that next meeting is the Spay/Neuter your best friend meeting.Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo". - Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #22 January 11, 2006 QuoteSo I'm doing one of my BBQs at the dZ and every time someone come up to tell me they are vegetarian.So this girl walk up looks at all the meat on the grill and asks,"What do you have for a veretarian???I look around think for a minute and said well I have baked beans.Than I say,"Oh never mind those have bacon in them.I guess you better go to the store. . Well, you can always do a few skewers of vegetables like onions, green peppers, squash, etc, and season them really well. Nice complement for any meats, AND shuts the vegetarians up. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #23 January 11, 2006 Quote Well, you can always do a few skewers of vegetables like onions, green peppers, squash, etc, and season them really well. Nice complement for any meats, AND shuts the vegetarians up. And those scwere must be complete with meat wrapped in bacon... mmmm bacon and meat. meaty meaty goodnessDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #24 January 11, 2006 Quote - Nothing works like taxidermy. I got this far and thought 'wow, how tasteless' but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Kill and stuff these assholes and use them as a warning for the next bunch of vegans. Then again they'd probably congratulate you on your recycling of natural resources. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beverly 1 #25 January 11, 2006 bad karma I think true friendship is under-rated Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
