Liars and attention hogs

[leapdog 0]

I absolutely despise people who lie for what seems to be to cover up a poor level self- esteem. I have run across a few people that just always just have to be the center of attention all the time. Sometimes their lying is a method of being in the center of attention. Making up stuff or skewing a view on a subject.

I’ll give an example. At work they give us online employee satisfaction surveys. Later they have someone other than our manager meet with a group and ask more specifics about the things that employees are dissatisfied about.

Also at work we used to have a very relaxed attendance policy. At employees satisfaction survey meetings this one employee would always bring up the fact that people just come and go and that no one knows where they are. I need to say at this point that it is none of his business because he is not a manager. He was doing it to be recognized or be the center of attention, the kicker is that he is late more than anyone working there and only lives a block from work. They gave us a new attendance policy now because he kept bringing it up at the meetings. We can’t be more than one minute late or call in less than an hour ahead of time four times a year or you get warned, then written up, and then fired.

Here is the lie part, when confronted about it he said he wasn’t the only one to bring it up. All of us were in the meetings with him and he was the only one. The lie brought him attention because of the controversy amongst his peers.

I have many more examples and of two or three other people I have met at jobs or during my recreation activities and even a family member. But my fingers are tired.

Do you know someone at work or play or a family member that is lies for what seems no good reason or to boost self-esteem or to be the center of attention? Do you do anything about it?

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[Tonto 1]

Maybe I don't understand.

Work wants you to be there on time and you don't like that?

Why does it matter who suggested it? Just be on time and it won't be an issue.

t

It's the year of the Pig.

[leapdog 0]

You missed the point of the post. The point of the post was about how screwed up it is for people lie for no reason or to be the center of attention.

But since you asked about the work policy, it is the strictness of the policy. where I once had flexibility to be late and just make it up at lunch or the end of the day(as long as it isn't abused and wasn't) now one does flexibility.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[JohnMitchell 14]

The guy sounds like a total asshat. Make sure you all watch to see when he comes in, and document any tardiness. Remind him that that is the way he wanted it. Then watch his ass get fired.

[leapdog 0]

Oh yes. That has been going on already. Seeing the guy backpaddle was cool for us and pathetic for him. He will eventually get fired but we will all still be stuck witht he crap he created for us. At least he won't be around after that to help us out anymore.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[TheBile 0]

First off I totally agree with you. In my 20 years of toiling I too have encountered people like you describe. I would make an observation about using the 'Self Esteem' term though. People with a low level of self esteem wouldn't necessarily stand up, especially in a room full of other people, to offer an opinion. They would think that their opinion isn't important enough to offer simply because it's their opinion. Personally I would prefer to use the term 'Self Importance'. I think that fits in better with the type of persons I've met which match the one in your original comment. Apologies if I've mis-interpreted.

Anyway, there was a guy I used to work with. A bit of a religeous nut, good soccer player and at the age of 22 seriously believed (until we laughed our heads off and told him otherwise) that trains where actually steered on the tracks by the train driver. He was a nice enough guy but didn't half lie a lot to tell us what he'd done and where he'd been. If someone had done something, he'd done it too, or something similar. After several years of me and my mates listening to him you just knew that he was exaggerating or lieing just to be a part of, or even the central theme, of the conversation.

Slightly off topic, we actually worked for a boss who not only wanted us to sign this big, whiteboard in the middle of the department as to when we went to another department, meeting or site (time of departure, estimated time of return), but she also wanted us to sign out when we went to the toilet !! "Oh yes, I'm off for a dump. How long will I take ? Well if I had chicken last night then it would probably be 4 minutes-30 seconds, but seeing as I had a curry I think I'll put down 8 minutes just to be on the safe side.". Fortunately a couple of us said no-way, we'll get the union involved etc and it was scrapped. She was a self important bitch who made life hell for us all.

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[Grips 0]

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The guy sounds like a total asshat. Make sure you all watch to see when he comes in, and document any tardiness. Remind him that that is the way he wanted it. Then watch his ass get fired.

I agree with you, but its people like the liar that was mentioned that turn work places into Kindergarten. Everybody starts taddeling on eachother, making notes, etc, and then Adults begin to be treated like children.

You can't really win when these kinda of people work in the enviroment.

[Gawain 0]

Look at it this way, if he's mostly late, then he'll be fired pretty soon under this new policy. Then there's no more issue, and you can bring up at future employee satisfaction meetings that the attendence policy is too stringent.

You should count your blessings in a way, it sounds like your employer actually listens its employees. Very few have that luxury.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[Richards 0]

Get rid of him and another will replace him. THere will always be one like that. Learn to coexist with minimal friction.

Richards

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[leapdog 0]

Quote

First off I totally agree with you. In my 20 years of toiling I too have encountered people like you describe. I would make an observation about using the 'Self Esteem' term though. People with a low level of self esteem wouldn't necessarily stand up, especially in a room full of other people, to offer an opinion. They would think that their opinion isn't important enough to offer simply because it's their opinion. Personally I would prefer to use the term 'Self Importance'. I think that fits in better with the type of persons I've met which match the one in your original comment. Apologies if I've mis-interpreted.

I think you may be right.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[leapdog 0]

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Look at it this way, if he's mostly late, then he'll be fired pretty soon under this new policy. Then there's no more issue, and you can bring up at future employee satisfaction meetings that the attendence policy is too stringent.

You should count your blessings in a way, it sounds like your employer actually listens its employees. Very few have that luxury.

You mispelled that word it si employee. one guy said it. The funny thing about the company listening is there were plenty of other things employees weren't too happy about that they could have fixed but they chose this one. Yeah, they listen alright.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[masterrig 1]

My bad! I thought, this was another O.J. thread.
As for your topic, over the years, I've run across many folks like that. I just ignored them. Sure enough... they went away!


Chuck

[livendive 8]

I used to lie a lot, just to make myself seem more interesting than I actually am. I'm still an attention-whore , but I don't lie anymore...ever. It just got too tough to keep track of what I'd told to whom. I guess I'm like a recovering alcoholic or smoker or whatever, in that I now absolutely despise the same activity that I used to participate in. There is now no easier way to loose credibility in my book than to be a liar, even if the the person is only dishonest with others.

As for the attendance thing, I love having a relaxed policy. My boss would like me to let him know if I'm going to be "significantly" late, e.g. more than half an hour, but outside of that we're pretty easy-going. Similarly, if I need to take an afternoon off for errands of some sort, I can without taking "personal time", as long as I make it up to keep things "square."

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Squeak 17]

You do nothing but fugg about on your computer all day Gerby Stop ya whining


And Leapdog, sounds like sour grapes from you too, suck it up cup cake and stop trying to be the centre of attention here, with your sideways head avatar and your mutli paragraph whinging

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[TheBile 0]

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You do nothing but fugg about on your computer all day Gerby Stop ya whining

Fugg about on my computer all day making it look like I'm working. It's a difficult skill. Get you facts straight Rat-Man.

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[swedishcelt 0]

I guess it's all relative to what you are used to.
I have to punch in, and have responsibilities that require me to be present by a certain time.
I've never had the luxury of being late.
The few times it's happened, like a flat tire or car trouble,
I've had to call and get someone to cover me.
No room for any type of flexibility or exception.

[jumper03 0]

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I guess it's all relative to what you are used to.
I have to punch in, and have responsibilities that require me to be present by a certain time.
I've never had the luxury of being late.
The few times it's happened, like a flat tire or car trouble,
I've had to call and get someone to cover me.
No room for any type of flexibility or exception.

HUGE difference between teaching secondary school and college then!

I have all the flexibility in the world. If I want to cancel class - no problem. THe students love it when you do that.

Hurry up and get your PhD - then you can do that too

Scars remind us that the past is real

[sartre 0]

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Do you know someone at work or play or a family member that is lies for what seems no good reason or to boost self-esteem or to be the center of attention? Do you do anything about it?

To reply to the question of the post~yes. My mother and my oldest sister constantly "embellish". Growing up, my accomplishments were never good enough to stand on their own, my mom always had to add extra crap that didn't really happen.

I used to challenge her on her lies, but found that we were constantly in a state of high drama if I did so. Now I see them rarely, and I try and smile and nod a lot. I've found that distance is the best remedy.

[leapdog 0]

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To reply to the question of the post~yes. My mother and my oldest sister constantly "embellish". Growing up, my accomplishments were never good enough to stand on their own, my mom always had to add extra crap that didn't really happen.

I used to challenge her on her lies, but found that we were constantly in a state of high drama if I did so. Now I see them rarely, and I try and smile and nod a lot. I've found that distance is the best remedy.

I only wish I could get distance from those types of people. I try to ignore them but sometimes it is so "in your face" that is makes it hard to do that for a person of integrity and moral courage.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[sartre 0]

Wow. I hope you're not implying that if I had integrity and moral courage I would confront my family members more.

Sometimes you have to decide whether or not you're really going to accomplish anything by calling these people out. If their lies are hurting someone, of course you need to stand up for the truth. If they are just attention-seeking, you are giving them what they want by responding.

[Squeak 17]

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I only wish I could get distance from those types of people. I try to ignore them but sometimes it is so "in your face" that is makes it hard to do that for a person of integrity and moral courage.

Is that you, why you pissing and moaning here then, did you send out your moral courage to the dry cleaners

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[leapdog 0]

Quote

Quote

I only wish I could get distance from those types of people. I try to ignore them but sometimes it is so "in your face" that is makes it hard to do that for a person of integrity and moral courage.

Is that you, why you pissing and moaning here then, did you send out your moral courage to the dry cleaners

Funny, I was speaking of people in general.

BTW- I do my own laundry.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[leapdog 0]

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Wow. I hope you're not implying that if I had integrity and moral courage I would confront my family members more.

Not at all.

Quote

Sometimes you have to decide whether or not you're really going to accomplish anything by calling these people out. If their lies are hurting someone, of course you need to stand up for the truth. If they are just attention-seeking, you are giving them what they want by responding.

I understand, well put.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[warpedskydiver 0]

Beat his ass then have him thrown into a commercial meat grinder feet first.

Hey it isn't legal but I bet you just smiled at the thought

[co_sky_pirate 0]

Oh yeah, I got one of those. You're best bet is to either completely ignore him or just smile and nod. Unfortunately I have to do the latter...see, I've known this dude since 7th grade and we still keep in touch on occasion. His entire life he's grossly overexaggerated to make himself tougher, stronger, braver, than anything you or I ever could dream to be. When he talks numbers, you have to divide by 2 or 3.

Yep, he's done it all...he's fought off 2 dozen raging barracudas 50 ft. under water with a knife, came *that* close to being drafted into the NHL at 17, was on the cover of Snowboard mag but "the photographer didn't get my face, just my back" (sure buddy), jumped off a 750 ft' cliff into shallow water, and swears he's saving money to start jumping. That last one REALLY scares me because he's not the sharpest spoon in the drawer and I wouldn't want to be in the same car as him, much less the same airspace! Yikes!

Anyone he meets for the first time is enthralled with his stories, but those of us that know him well just look at eachother and roll the eyes. He's very loud, obnoxious, and talks over everyone. It gets real old, real quick. His vocabulary contains an overabundance of "no bullshit" "no if's and's or but's" "truly" and "without a doubt" that he makes it sound like an even bigger lie. He hasn't hurt anyone with his sh*t...yet. But I think if he ever does it will likely be himself.

And remarkably, no one is around when these things happen to him. It's funny, but sad in a way too. Reminds me of the "One-Up" guy from the Axe ads. Anything you've done, he's done while on fire.

OK, sorry for the rant from my own experience...carry on!

There's something about the smell of jet fuel, nylon, and adrenaline that gives me a huge boner.