Best random quote from a meeting

[McBeth 0]

So yesterday a coworker says this during a meeting:
“Sometimes she goes pee on me and I’m left screaming her name”

[NWFlyer 2]

Quote

So yesterday a coworker says this during a meeting:
“Sometimes she goes pee on me and I’m left screaming her name”

Please tell me they were talking about a household pet or an infant.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[rehmwa 2]

"so, when are we going to break wind on this project?"

(for those from other parts, "breaking ground" is a term for starting the physical work of a project, comes from digging the first shovelful of dirt in a building project)

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[skydemon2 0]

Hopefully you had mexican for lunch so you can get the ball rolling.......

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone!

I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!!

[McBeth 0]

Quote

Quote

So yesterday a coworker says this during a meeting:
“Sometimes she goes pee on me and I’m left screaming her name”

Please tell me they were talking about a household pet or an infant.

In fact it was b/c he always calls into the meeting and sometime she leaves the room to go to the bathroom and he doesn't know.

[jshatzkin 0]

From a man who had been trying for over a year to impregnate his wife:

He did not have enough copies of the meeting report and apologized, stating:

"Sorry my reproductive capabilities were limited"

Then he turned red realizing what he said

Jen

[divnswoop 0]

"Ok, I pulled all of you in here to talk about the meeting we are going to have with the wholesale people about the meeting with the Kroger Company." (My question was then) "So this is the meeting about the meeting that we are going to have about the Kroger Meeting?"..................His reply, "yes". I LOVE the corporate world!!!!

[co_sky_pirate 0]

These are all great!

I was in a meeting about a client Xmas card the other day and my boss said,

"What, are you kidding?! Of course, Christians LOVE beer!"

Maybe you just had to be there, but I still laugh at that one.

There's something about the smell of jet fuel, nylon, and adrenaline that gives me a huge boner.

[bluheelrtx 0]

To a team lead after he accidentally found a bug in our application during a demo:

"We haven't idiot proofed it yet".

--
Jason
--
Some people never go crazy. What truly boring lives they must lead.

[swedishcelt 0]

"When we figure out why we're meeting (during said meeting) we'll email everyone and tell them."

[DownWind 0]

From a co-worker who had a stutter:

I blew..........I blew...........I blew................up my computer.

The timing had the attendants almost rolling on the floor.

[johnsw71 0]

From my old-maid boss (who even at 50 looked like she had probably never had sex) talking about conserving the budget: "You shouldn't blow your wad all at once."

[Samurai136 0]

A co-worker was telling a story of great personal danger and peril when he said, "... I saw my life flash between my eyes."


huh?

"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian
Ken

[McDuck 0]

"Better watch out, you don't know if you're eating his old nuts or not." From an impromptu outdoor meeting yesterday.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[grue 1]

We had a hellaciously long meeting at work one time, I'd been there for all of like a week. Hottest girl there stands up and goes "GOD my ass hurts", and before I could punch myself in the face or hit my head on the table, I found myself saying "But surely he at least bought you dinner first?"

cavete terrae.

[McDuck 0]

That rocks, my friend!

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[grue 1]

Quote

That rocks, my friend!

I'm stunned I didn't get fired, to be honest

cavete terrae.

[billeisele 122]

from the boss, with a straight face

"Let's not confuse the issue with facts"

Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws.

[McDuck 0]

I did something less inflammatory in that sense, but no less edgy, at a meeting about a new time card system. There were some anti-change fogeys griping about how the union should be at the meeting and how these people weren't going to let this change stand without a fight with the union on their side. When the room got quiet from the utter disbelief of the rest of the participants and the instructors, I used my best Ralph Wiggum voice and said loudly, "Change scares me. I'm calling the UNION." That went over like a turd in a punchbowl with the complainers, but everyone else loved it.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[normiss 622]

Finishing up a project we're having a business dinner at The Fort in Denver, nothing but wild game on the menu, the hottest chick in the company is reading the appetizer menu which contained Buffalo Tongue..."hmmm...I don't think I've ever had tongue"
...

[Icon134 0]

I'm sure I've had some good ones... but this it the only one I can remember... at the moment.

When I was a 2nd Lt with about 4 months in I was tasked to go to a base level meeting (wrt base exercises)...at the end of the meeting while sitting through it and having no idea what was going on the Base Inspector General went around the room and asks everyone if they have any questions... when he gets to me I present the most confounded look I can muster and declare that "I have no idea what just happened here..."

sometimes being a 2nd Lt has its perks...

its really too bad I'm not an Lt anymore...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[2fat2fly 0]

I was in a "decide who gets laid off" meeting when one of the other managers referred to a person on the list and said "I heard a rumor that they had to retake their drug test because they failed the first one" I replied "That was 15 years ago, 15 years ago, I wouldn't have passed a drug test and you guys have been pretty happy with me"
I just didn't thing that you should bring up old rumors when you're dealing with someone's livelihood The look on the HR manager's face was priceless

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[jkbernstein 1]

Not exactly a meeting, but just yesterday, I was in the office with one of the staff I supervise and my supervisor. We were talking about trainings, and how much I hate them. My supervisor said, "Then you're gonna hate me, because I have to send you to an all-day First Aid/CPR training to renew your certification."

I groaned and started complaining. The staff person (who is male) said, "But those trainings are fun, 'cause you get to blow a dummy!"

As my supervisor and I became hysterical, he realized what he said, and corrected himself, "I mean blow INTO a dummy!" (which really wasn't much better).

Just then my cell phone rang; it was an ex-boyfriend of mine. I wanted SO BADLY to say, "And here's a dummy I've blown now!" But in addition to the trouble I would've gotten into, I was laughing to hard to say anything.