jshatzkin

I didn't know you were a drill sgt now Leroy! Awesome. Sorry I can't help with the branch thing though....I will ask around. Jen

Come jump at Raeford. We are swarming with Goldren Knights (they are stationed here at Ft Bragg). Some make a little extra money doing the tandem and instructor thing in the civilian sector too! The Golden Knights are down to Earth, cool people! Jen

I had to bump this because I missed the conversation! I used to teach parenting (most people were court mandated) classes from empirically based models. Does spanking lead to abuse? With most people, probably not. But spanking is a very ineffective parenting tool if you really think about what you are trying to accomplish in "disciplining". A child may quickly stop doing something because they are spanked, but you teach them to not do something out of fear of a spanking, not because it is the right thing to do. Spanking also teaches children that to control others, violence works. Many people are short-sighted and think parenting and disciplining is simply a set of tools to correct a child. "Bad" and disrespectful children are not the result of "no spanking". I have known many "bad" kids who were spanked and many who were not. Raising a "good", respectful child is about your relationship with them as a parent. Do you love, feel, teach, etc. even when they are doing nothing wrong? Do you help them grow through proper nurturing from the moment they are born? Kids are going to mess up at some point,..regardless. It is part of individuating. But if you have done a good job parenting, then they will have a good foundation to make the right decisions throughout life based on their values, not fear of violence or consequences. Having said all that: I was spanked growing up. I would not classify my parents as being abusive at all. I think I just learned more how to not get caught, then to actually do the right thing. My husband and I agree that we will not spank our child. Disciplining is about your relationship with the child, not a quick fix tool. Jen

YAY! My Alma Mater Jen

My mother-in-law fed me this one. It sounds weird, but actually is quite good! Bake the sweet potato (usually for one hour at 350). Place butter and dill relish on it and eat it like a baked potato. I didn't think the relish would be good, but it complements the flavor quite well. (make sure it's dill and NOT sweet relish) Now it's one of my favs! Jen

Mark, I am privileged to have known Robert. You are a wonderful and proud father. Robert's spirit lives on in you. Jen

I watched a special on Nat Geo a couple of weeks ago about the human body. Apparently our hearing is the last thing to go at death. And the last pulse of our brain shuts down 37 hours AFTER death. So our brain is still sending pulses for some time. Interesting...and a little creepy. Jen

The toxins in breastmilk says something about our environment and products. Mother's milk is still way better than formula for babies. Jen

A personality disorder! There are definitely those who threaten suicide to manipulate those around them. Unfortunately, some of these same people would go through with it, just to prove a point ("told ya so"). We had a "frequent flyer" where I worked. She was inpatient at least every couple of months for "failed" suicide attempts. This lasted for a few years. Then one day, she was "successful". She had borderline personality disorder. Sadly, her family was almost relieved in the same way someone who has been suffering from cancer dies. It is truly sad. It is hard to care for friends or family like this because it can be very emotionally and physically draining. Jen

The original quotes are not correct, just opinions. Any empircal studies done on suicide show a very high prevalence of mental illness. NWFlyer is correct. Women don't want help or attention any more than a man. We just socialize men to not seek help ("it's weak"). Men, by nature, do take more violent means to suicide, whereas women take softer approaches. This accounts for higher incidences of completion for men. I had a male client who survived a suicide attempt: gunshot wound to the head. After getting help, realized he had many mental issues and later did not want to die. It was simply an impulsive moment after being in a deep depression and a bottle of liquor. Having worked inpatient mental health, I can assure you that I had several male clients who had failed suicide attempts. Of all kinds: cuts to the throat, gunshot wounds, pills, cut wrists etc... People often also get confused when they see those who self-mutilate (ie cutting or burning). Self-mutilation seems to be more prevalent in females and will often get tossed into the "suicide attempt" category by those who are ignorant. Truth is: self-mutilation is not a suicide attempt. And many who self-mutilate don't do it for "attention". Many will cut in places to not be seen and they have much guilt over it, trying to hide it from others. Point is: suicide and self-mutilation are very serious issues. Those who do not understand it emotionally or professionally will often make hasty and ignorant judgments. Jen

The trainer hired for those guys developed the training program from Crossfit (without giving due credit). Crossfit is a mix of Olympic weightlifting (not isolated weighlifting), gymnastics and aerobic activity. Crossfit will not only make you look cut, but will make your body functional (something that bench and curls just don't do). It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but it is not a "fad" workout. It's a core, functional program. You need to read the journals to understand the philosophy behind the workouts, instead of just plowing into them. Good stuff. My husband has always been a workout nut and got into Crossfit a year ago. He can do more pull-ups and muscle-ups at 39 than when he was in his 20s! Check it out: www.crossfit.com Jen

That is strange. It would make more sense to put a shelter near the places that these people could walk to for services. I am sure a social worker did not make this decision, because a social worker would have proposed a shelter near services. Sorry that this is happening to you. Maybe the proposal will get knocked down if enough of the residents and businesses rally?? Jen

It would be easy to throw a shelter in the middle of nowhere, or downtown near warehouses. But the purpose of the shelter transcends just giving people a place to sleep. Shelters are often located near public health clinics and social service agencies (and places to get jobs within walking distance). Most shelters only allow residents inside during the night time (usually from 6 pm to 8 am). the idea is that during the day, these people are out trying to get their lives together. Unfortunately, it usually equates to roaming around. Most homeless folks have some sort of mental illness. I am not justifying devaluing a neighborhood. That sucks and I know I would be upset as well. We also have to think about placing shelters where people can build their lives back. It's a catch 22. Jen

Exactly. Having worked as a therapist in the military prison (Leavenworth) sex offender treatment program, this subject strikes a chord with me. It's a Catch 22. The public cries that "rehabilitation" of sex offenders does not work. The truth is, rehabilitation does not end when the offender leaves prison. It continues based on how society treats and welcomes them back, which is not very welcoming. I had one particular inmate who made big strides in prison and was paroled. He found a job at a local pizza place and volunteered at a church. things were going well, until the pizza place hired a 15 year old and he had to quit. The the church "dismissed" him because the youth group was doing activities the same time he was working. He ended up renting porn (adult porn) as an "outlet for stress", which was a violation of parole, and came back to prison. The public could easily say his parole was broken because he "reoffended". He did not actually reoffend, but stress of not being accepted back into society contributed to his porn seeking behavior. Anyone who has scholarly knowledge of the treatment and psyche of child sex offenders knows that 1. treatment includes supressing a desire (much like drugs) and 2. STRESS is one of the biggest triggers that causes the cycle reoffending. So does it make sense to not accept them back into the community? We worry about the child sex offender snatching our kids up at the bustop. Not all child sex offenders are of that predatory nature. In fact, only 10% of child sex offenders kidnap kids they don't know. 90% of sex offenders are the people parents and kids trust and know well. The best defense (as proven by the research) is to teach kids the importance of boundaries, good touch vs. bad touch, "bad" secrets..etc. Sex offenders use a "grooming" process to gain trust with the children. If you can teach kids to recognize the "uh oh" feeling when they are being groomed and be assertive to the offender and then tell someone, you are ahead of the game. I go out, as part of my current job, and teach kids from age 3-12 about body boundaries, good vs bad touch, assertiveness, bad secrets,..etc. It is proven the best line of defense against child molestation. Most child sex offenders prey on vulnerable, passive, and impressionable children. Children who learn to be assertive and protective of their body and boundaries are often quickly left alone in the grooming process. A registry is a simplistic "security blanket" for adults that we know where the offenders are. Unfortunately it is a false security, and ineffective at best. Jen

Red Elvises (the older songs with Zhenya still in the group) Reverend Horton Heat Zeke Nashville Pussy Northside Kings Path of Resistance I agree with NWFlyer: SuperSuckers are badass Jen