When to pick up the tab?

[skydiver30960 0]

I was an engineer, now am an ICU nurse. I skydive, SCUBA dive, and play ice hockey. I like to think I'm a decent guy to hang around with, but it's an incontrovertable fact that I am, in all endeavors, an analytical thinker.

I like rules. I like conditions. When this happens, do this. If this happens instead, do this.

Thus, I HATE it when one goes out to dinner with others and we have to do the "oh no, let ME get the check" dance.

Dammit, there should be a set of rules to make this easier! Sure, if I invite you, then I get the check. But it's so rare that happens; usually, the need for the meal is mutually agreed upon, so no real inviting gets done. For example, the in-laws are in town and we've already eaten out twice and will do so again. All three meals will inevitably involve the Dance of the Check.

Back when we were poor it was easy. If we went out with the in-laws to someplace swanky, it was understood they'd have to get the check. But now that we both have jobs, we can afford to pay, and don't mind paying at all, but STILL there's the damn wrestling match at the end of each meal.

For the safety and sanity of society as a whole, we need to figure this out!

Elvisio "table for four" Rodriguez

[Conundrum 1]

Why does either party have to pick up the whole check every time?

You pay for your shit, they pay for their's. Nothing wrong with that.

[Squeak 17]

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Why does either party have to pick up the whole check every time?

You pay for your shit, they pay for their's. Nothing wrong with that.

nothing at all, or alternatively, since they are there for 3 dinners why not pick up two and allow them to pick up one

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[dugout 0]

It's logical but it ignores the laws of nature which humans are not immune to.
The Alpha, Beta and Omega stature in any society group exists, male or female.

Knowing what you are and where you fit in is simple once this is understood.

I would guess the OP is a Beta and has to earn the right to take on the roll of an Alpha.

[ladyskydiver 0]

I used to always have that dance with my parents. So, when I wanted to pick up the tab, I'd get up and "have to use the restroom." In reality, I'd find the waitress, pay the bill, and then go back to the table. Boy...was dad peeved that I did that.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[jdthomas 0]

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I used to always have that dance with my parents. So, when I wanted to pick up the tab, I'd get up and "have to use the restroom." In reality, I'd find the waitress, pay the bill, and then go back to the table. Boy...was dad peeved that I did that.

Wow, Same story here excpet with my step father, he really was ofended when i did that and asked me to step outside to chat and told me that i could never do that again unless I ask permission to do so ahead of time. He is a very good man and likes formal rules.
And since he set some rules and treats my mother so well i won't argue his rules and just respect his wishes.. as far as the origional post.. well why not go to the store in advance and cook all but one meal at home and really spend time with each other cooking a meal?

www.greenboxphotography.com

[sunshine 2]

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So, when I wanted to pick up the tab, I'd get up and "have to use the restroom." In reality, I'd find the waitress, pay the bill, and then go back to the table.

That's similar to how i do it too.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[futuredivot 0]

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That's similar to how i do it too.

You'd have to show up to pick up the tab

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[sunshine 2]

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You'd have to show up to pick up the tab

Good point.

However i do remember being all excited the time you took me to texas roadhouse cause i had a giftcard i wanted to use up. Of course you wouldn't let me pay the freakin check though...

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Jewels 0]

It won't avoid all squabbles over who gets the check every time, but if it's someone close to you, maybe you can do the "I'll get this one, you get it next time" approach. That way, the cost burden is shared and you have at least two meals worked out.

TPM Sister #102

[AllisonH 0]

If you want to pay and are out with someone who will either not want you to or will want to argue with it, just take a "restroom break" and while you're gone ask your server to please hand the check to you at the end of the meal. Or if you're finished ordering, hand them your card and ask them to run it at their convenience.

[turtlespeed 212]

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I used to always have that dance with my parents. So, when I wanted to pick up the tab, I'd get up and "have to use the restroom." In reality, I'd find the waitress, pay the bill, and then go back to the table. Boy...was dad peeved that I did that.

You just described my Saturday.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[mnealtx 0]

I just take the check when they bring it to the table....no arguments that way!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[piratemike 0]

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Why does either party have to pick up the whole check every time?

You pay for your shit, they pay for their's. Nothing wrong with that.

I like that idea, but in my last relationship. The girl said several times that she felt better about paying her own way. So I let her most of the time. (I still paid about every 1 in 3 times. At the end of the relationship she said that she didn't feel very special partially because I didn't pick up the tab every time.

Sometimes, I want to just shoot myself.

[shropshire 0]

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Why does either party have to pick up the whole check every time?

You pay for your shit, they pay for their's. Nothing wrong with that.

I hate the "Well I didn't have the prawns or wine or desert or whatever" break down of the bill. Divide the bill by the number of people present or there wont be another dinner out with those people.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome