LuckyMcSwervy 0 #1 January 23, 2009 I get a "mistake" text message from my ex-HUSBAND on January 9th. We texted back and forth a few times, just the "hope you're well, how's life?" cordial stuff. A few days ago I send him a text that says "Congratulations on your promotion. I'm proud of you. Good luck." The police department released a pic of the promotion ceremony to the local paper. Last night he sends one back saying how much it means to him, he doesn't deserve my kind words", etc. We text for a little while, nothing earthshattering but I do tell him that I've finally forgiven him. That's a major deal coming from me. After me telling him how much I valued what we had in the past, he sends me a text saying that he misses how well I would treat him and that he thinks of me often. I was an idiot wife who thought my husband walked on water and treated him like a fucking king. Go figure. LOL. Anyway, about 30 minutes later I chat with a mutual friend and I hear the ex-H not happy in his current relationship, she's cheating (there's some karma for him) and that he has been miserable. We've been divorced since 2005 and he wouldn't even talk to me the few times I've called him since then. He divorced me, I didn't want it. I had a long talk with my brother while we were waiting for my Dad to come back from testing in the hospital last night (before the latest round of text messages). I told me brother how I think I'm still in love with the ex-husband after all this time. That's the first time I've said that out loud, not just "wondered" about it, since I became divorced. WTF is wrong with me? We were together from 1992 to when we divoced in 2005. I'm not romanticizing or rewriting our history, but I'm so fucking confused as to whether I should tell him to just stop with the contact all together or just see what happens. Has anyone ever gone through something similar with an ex-SPOUSE? I think my head is going to explode it hurts so bad. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_Copland 0 #2 January 23, 2009 Can't help but i would like to say this. I had an ex of 7 years who thought she could do better without me. Shes now a pole dancer last i heard. 1338 People aint made of nothin' but water and shit. Until morale improves, the beatings will continue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 733 #3 January 23, 2009 You're human, what do you expect? I have never missed my ex-wife (we divorced in 1989) I do however have 2 ex-girlfriends that will always mean the world to me. It will pain me the rest of my life.Sometimes it seems we just have to accept loss. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davelepka 4 #4 January 23, 2009 Quotehe sends me a text saying that he misses how well I would treat him and that he thinks of me often. I was an idiot wife who thought my husband walked on water and treated him like a fucking king. Go figure. LOL. You want to go back to being an idiot? That's what he'd be after if you got back together. Everyone gets nostalgic now and then, and remembers all the good times. Take a few minutes and think about all the bad times. Now try to imagine those bad times fitting in with your new life. Still want to 'see what happens'? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #5 January 23, 2009 Quote Can't help but i would like to say this. I had an ex of 7 years who thought she could do better without me. Shes now a pole dancer last i heard. So, she was right then (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #6 January 23, 2009 When you take the trash out, do you bring it back in after a while to see if it smells better? My ex-wife called a few times after we split, even stopped by to visit once or twice-usually after she broke up with someone. I remember her pouting on the phone one night "What's wrong with me?" My response.."You're drop dead pretty, you give a world class blowjob-You have to be a serious bitch to run a guy away from that." Even then, I was all give.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #7 January 23, 2009 How is your dad doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #8 January 23, 2009 Quote Quote Can't help but i would like to say this. I had an ex of 7 years who thought she could do better without me. Shes now a pole dancer last i heard. So, she was right then Shit,you beat me to it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #9 January 23, 2009 [replyShit,you beat me to it. Timing is everything (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SARLDO 0 #10 January 23, 2009 QuoteHas anyone ever gone through something similar with an ex-SPOUSE? Yes. Your ex is trying to feel better due to his situation by trying to rekindle a relationship with you. According to you, he left you (probably the grass greener on the other side syndrome). Do yourself a favor and cut ALL ties and get over him. You'll only get hurt again when he runs away on you once more. Hope your dad is better."Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" ~Samuel Clemens MB#4300 Dudeist Skydiver #68 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peregrinerose 0 #11 January 23, 2009 QuoteHas anyone ever gone through something similar with an ex-SPOUSE? The short answer... absolutely yes, but we were both smart enough to stay away. I was married to someone else (infinitely better for me than he was) a year later. He was married to someone (infinitely better for him than I was) about 3 years later. Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hollypocket 0 #12 January 23, 2009 You did spend about 13 years with him, that's not a exactly the blink of an eye. Don't beat yourself up about this. You may still be in love with what you once (THOUGHT) you had with him. The life you may have had before the shit hit the fan is what you're still in love with. The man he appeared to be once, and the man he seems to be over these texts that lead you to nostalgia. Now, I know I can't say the same with any of my exes (2 1/2 years is NOT 13 but...) I did know that when we would talk about the past it would eat me up inside and I wanted more than anything to get back what we HAD. I ended up cutting all ties, because it hurt to much at first, then eventually he became way too frustrating to have him drag be through all the crap we went through every single time I talked to him. If you don't have children with your ex, screw it. Do what's best for you and live for YOU. What's going on with your dad? I will pray for him.../<~*SHERMANATRIX*~>\\> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #13 January 23, 2009 Quote When you take the trash out, do you bring it back in after a while to see if it smells better? My ex-wife called a few times after we split, even stopped by to visit once or twice-usually after she broke up with someone. I remember her pouting on the phone one night "What's wrong with me?" My response.."You're drop dead pretty, you give a world class blowjob-You have to be a serious bitch to run a guy away from that." Even then, I was all give. So everything was good from her mouth on down?! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hollypocket 0 #14 January 23, 2009 Quote When you take the trash out, do you bring it back in after a while to see if it smells better? Sounds kinky /\\> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluepill 0 #16 January 23, 2009 Quote I get a "mistake" text message from my ex-HUSBAND on January 9th. We texted back and forth a few times, just the "hope you're well, how's life?" cordial stuff. ..... she's cheating (there's some karma for him) and that he has been miserable. Ask your self this... If he was not miserable and everything in his life was ticki tee boo: > Do you think you would have got a "mistake" text? > and do you think you would be feeling these vibes? BP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #17 January 23, 2009 I'm reading all of this and taking it all in. Many different ways to look at the situation... ugh. And my Dad is doing well. They put his defib in late last night, which was very unexpected as they were supposed to do it early this morning ... I'm here with him now.... his color looks better already although he is in immense pain from the shingles. I wish there was something magical I could do to take all of his pain away! Just waiting for his cardiologist to come in for a look-see and to brief our family on what's next..... Keeping our fingers crossed!!!Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #18 January 23, 2009 Not sure if you are having thought of getting back together and seeing how I don't know you it's none of my business but... You seem to be enjoying this new life you have. How would he take to your new lifestyle? Would he allow you to come and go as you please? If he read everything you posted here how would he react? What were his reasons for leaving? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #19 January 23, 2009 Dz.commer jceman and his lovely wife, Lynn, got divorced and back together again. It happens. Some people do manage to grow and learn from their mistakes. Spend some time together with no sex involved and see what happens, it's the only way you're going to know for sure what could or shouldn't be.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 733 #20 January 23, 2009 so how you doin??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,571 #21 January 23, 2009 Quote Dz.commer jceman and his lovely wife, Lynn, got divorced and back together again. It happens. Some people do manage to grow and learn from their mistakes. Spend some time together with no sex involved and see what happens, it's the only way you're going to know for sure what could or shouldn't be. I once read a story of a couple who got married, divorced a few years later, remarried a few years after that, then divorced again. Then they found an arrangement that worked: One of them bought the house next door to the other. This had occurred about 20 years earlier, and to date they were still getting along fine. Some people just need their personal space."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #22 January 23, 2009 That's what Normiss and I should have done! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #23 January 23, 2009 Quote Quote When you take the trash out, do you bring it back in after a while to see if it smells better? My ex-wife called a few times after we split, even stopped by to visit once or twice-usually after she broke up with someone. I remember her pouting on the phone one night "What's wrong with me?" My response.."You're drop dead pretty, you give a world class blowjob-You have to be a serious bitch to run a guy away from that." Even then, I was all give. So everything was good from her mouth on down?! Maybe if she was mute, she would have been a keeper. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 733 #24 January 23, 2009 Still love you girl. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missg8tordivr 0 #25 January 23, 2009 It is very common to still have feelings for someone you shared that special part of your life with....no matter how it ends. I have realized myself, that it can be very trying on the heart. If your unsure what to do....ask for guidance within, and the answer will come to you. Sometimes it is how you feel physically, other times in dreams....just keep your eyes/mind open. *** F LORIDA! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites