Nataly 38 #1 March 17, 2009 My theory is that people suck up to you only out of their own self-interests.. I further propose that their self-interest is usually not in *your* self-interest.. Case in point: my colleague has been unusually nice to me over the past couple of weeks.. She doesn't like me, hence why it was "unusual".. And I knew exactly why.. I got offered a promotion and was told "if you want it, the job is yours". I knew many people in the office were vying for this position, including this colleague of mine. I didn't apply for it - it was just offered to me. Today I found out she's been trying to persuade the big bosses that I'm not the right person for this big promotion and she tried to sabotage my work to prove her point. Ahh.. Office politics.. Too bad for her I've been there long enough to establish a good reputation I didn't need to defend. Meanwhile, she has her own reputation that she has gotten by doing just exactly this sort of thing. I've just signed my new contract Beware of people when they suck-up to you is all I have to say!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 201 #2 March 17, 2009 Maybe you should ask her to move in with you Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 March 17, 2009 Quote Maybe you should ask her to move in with you Yeah!! She might be an improvement on the current house-mate!! Seriously, though, re the housemate, in many ways it's hopeless because she can't change who she is. But good news on that front as well - I found a new place that's a studio *and* cheaper!! Yippee!! I think I really need big changes in my life.. I'm finding that more and more I'm surrounded by people who don't have my interests at heart.. So clearly the fault must ultimately lie with my life-choices, no? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #4 March 17, 2009 Some people aren't "sucking up," they are just trying to advance. What you see as sly persuation and sabotage is probably not as bad as you think. Get over yourself and give her a break.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #5 March 17, 2009 I found reports I had created that had been "modified" by her (you can see who last saved the files). Someone also forwarded me a heated email she sent where she said some pretty unforgivable lies about me. Edit to say: I still think I'm in the wrong kind of environment on a number of fronts.. It's just not supportive and warm/fuzzy, but much more cut-throat.. I see what's happening.. I don't like it.. And I don't want to play that game.. Maybe I should move to la-la-land, where people are friendly and everything is pink & fluffy!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #6 March 17, 2009 Is it bad form to reply to your own post?? Seriously, though.. I can tell by all the hints that I'm not coming across overly well in some posts.. I think it's worth bearing in mind: - I going through a really rough time, and I'm feeling excessively cynical at the moment - I don't always word things in a fluffy way, and on email that doesn't always read very well - I'm really a very nice person - honestly. But yeah.. Sorry if I've annoyed anyone with my incessant complaining.. I *am* trying to improve things & I hope this will result in a cheerier Nat.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,571 #7 March 17, 2009 If it seems as if I have been sucking up to you, I assure you I have no ulterior motive; I just want to get in your pants. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #8 March 17, 2009 Quote If it seems as if I have been sucking up to you, I assure you I have no ulterior motive; I just want to get in your pants. Ah ha ha!!! I stand corrected - sometimes sucking *can* be in both people's interest!!! That really cheered me up - thanks "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robskydiv 0 #9 March 17, 2009 Good for you nataly. Looks like you are doing things the right way. Cheaters never prosper. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #10 March 17, 2009 Quote Good for you nataly. Looks like you are doing things the right way. Cheaters never prosper. Well, at first I was pretty horrified.. Cause I always worry that it's pretty easy to lose a good reputation.. And I think truthfully lots of really great people *don't* get ahead (not saying I'm "great" or not getting ahead ).. So in the back of my mind there was a real fear that her tactics would work. I don't know if it was out of dignity or just cowardice that I didn't fight back.. I'm just relieved. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
poolmarty 0 #11 March 17, 2009 Quote Quote Good for you nataly. Looks like you are doing things the right way. Cheaters never prosper. Well, at first I was pretty horrified.. Cause I always worry that it's pretty easy to lose a good reputation.. And I think truthfully lots of really great people *don't* get ahead (not saying I'm "great" or not getting ahead ).. So in the back of my mind there was a real fear that her tactics would work. I don't know if it was out of dignity or just cowardice that I didn't fight back.. I'm just relieved. Sounds like you did right. Sometimes defending yourself backfires. It depends on the person and situation. It's always nice to see someone hang themselves with their own rope...I've allowed people noose themselves once or twice in my day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #12 March 17, 2009 Too bad for her I've been there long enough to establish a good reputation. ____________________________________ Attitudes like this don't last long. You might want to check yourself. I certainly wouldn't want to work with you. Sounds like you've been doing some sucking up too with a comment like that. Don't mean to bust your chops, but I've been around a long time and have seen and experienced a lot. Get over it. Do your own job, do what you have to do and don't worry about what others do. The truth comes out eventually. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #13 March 17, 2009 Quote Maybe I should move to la-la-land, where people are friendly and everything is pink & fluffy!!! I'm pink & fluffy (haha...JFTC reference), but sadly, things are cut-throat here in LaLaLand, as well. Sadly, such is life. People will do many horrid things to get ahead. Either learn to stay strong throughout or perhaps, change your work environment. I have always had a difficult time working in environments, where the focus was only making money and not contributing to the world in a more positive way. It's definitely difficult to stay positive, when people are always stepping over one another to get ahead. That said, if you love your work/job, just try to work hard, do a great job always and stay above the pettiness. I wish you the best, Nataly. Good luck, and don't let other people's negativity destroy your inner peace. Stay strong! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #14 March 17, 2009 Quote Too bad for her I've been there long enough to establish a good reputation. ____________________________________ Attitudes like this don't last long. You might want to check yourself. I certainly wouldn't want to work with you. Sounds like you've been doing some sucking up too with a comment like that. I just mean it's too bad in the sense that it didn't work. And I think I've earned a good reputation on the basis that I just do my job and focus on doing that to the best of my abilities. But you know, I do worry that this doesn't always get noticed You just don't know what people will believe.. I don't think I have the attitude you are describing.. It's precisely because I *don't* suck-up that I feel really pleased in this case. I've been passed up on many occasions. But then there are always lots of people who are better at what they do than you are.. It's quite hard to just keep your head down and not get upset when people do stuff like this to you.. I'm just happy that people know me and know I'm a solid worker."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #15 March 17, 2009 No need to keep your head down. Buck up and do your best. It pays off. Things are noticed. You just don't realize it at the time. Life has up and downs, even with office politics. Hang in there. And rise above the bullshit. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #16 March 17, 2009 QuoteMy theory is that people suck up to you only out of their own self-interests.. Here is the simple truth to life. From the movie Three Kings: Archie Gates: What's the most important thing in life? Troy Barlow: Respect. Archie Gates: Too dependent on other people. Conrad Vig: What, love? Archie Gates: A little Disneyland, isn't it? Chief Elgin: God's will. Archie Gates: Close. Troy Barlow: What is it then? Archie Gates: Necessity. Troy Barlow: As in? Archie Gates: As in people do what is most necessary to them at any given moment."It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #17 March 17, 2009 Quote Quote Maybe I should move to la-la-land, where people are friendly and everything is pink & fluffy!!! I have always had a difficult time working in environments, where the focus was only making money and not contributing to the world in a more positive way. Yeah.. There's certainly a little bit of that going on. Truth be told, the *huge* majority of my work colleagues are really fantastic, *super* talented and incredibly good at their jobs. I suppose anywhere you go there is bound to be the odd person that causes trouble.. And you probably can't escape politics anywhere in life.. Just wish I had more stuff in my life right now that was satisfying and brought a smile to my face.. I kind of know I have to start making a few key changes.. I just don't even know where to start.. I feel quite down at this point and something like this comes along and makes me feel like all my hard work isn't a complete waste.. But it also reminds me that I'm in the wrong place if things like this is happening *and* it's upsetting me so much.. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but it *does* sort of feel like a small victory that my hard work is recognised."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
somethinelse 0 #18 March 17, 2009 Yep. I agree with LisaH on this too. I've worked/been in some pretty gossipy and back stabbing environments... Best if you rise above this kinda crap. Just don't do it. Even with what ya think are your best buds. Things can morph over time, and it could be you that gets talked about negitively later on. Lots of places can be incredibly political, so best for you in the long run to be more flexible and saavy, you will look more mature and wise for it. You could be better off too all around if you learn to allow for more individuality in personality/ termperment / and personal strategies from those people in your life in general... It's always smart to be informed then make wise choices. From other posts I wonder if maybe you should try to be more mellow, less critical and stress less for a happier well balanced life all around. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #19 March 17, 2009 ...I'll tell ya what it means, you're obviously in a position of power over the person doin' the suckin'. Nuke 'em if they don't kiss yer ass too! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #20 March 17, 2009 Quote If it seems as if I have been sucking up to you, I assure you I have no ulterior motive; I just want to get in your pants. I was thinking the same thingDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #21 March 17, 2009 Holy mackerel, you're just surrounded by wackos... Have you ever thought about moving to Nepal or somewhere similar?... "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #22 March 17, 2009 I would definately suck up to you...not to get a promotion but just to get the opportunity to hear your british accent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #23 March 17, 2009 Quote Meanwhile, she has her own reputation that she has gotten by doing just exactly this sort of thing. I've just signed my new contract Beware of people when they suck-up to you is all I have to say!! Wow, I'm glad you had a happy ending to all that. I hate working with those kind of people, but they are out there. \ I don't think the sucking up is bad per se. Yes, people do that when they want something, but it's usually not a zero-sum game. As you know, it's easy to help people out in this world and get something out of it yourself. Sometimes suck ups just want to bask in your glow.The woman you dealt with is a two-faced back stabbing bitch. I'm glad the truth came to light and both of you got what you deserve. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #24 March 17, 2009 Quote Holy mackerel, you're just surrounded by wackos... Have you ever thought about moving to Nepal or somewhere similar?... Do you mean in her work place, or here on DZ,com?Seriously, don't you have jerks where you work? She described at least a dozen people I've worked with over the years. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,571 #25 March 17, 2009 Quote I would definately suck up to you...not to get a promotion but just to get the opportunity to hear your british accent. I think you mean her Canadian accent."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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