nigel99 151 #1 May 11, 2009 On the basis that both partners are consenting (so I am explicitly not talking about cheating) what is wrong with partners having a fuck buddy? We don't all have equal sex drives and so why should one partner do without, we are also not good at everything in life so why not let people have freedom? Rhetorical question - I am personally not interested although I would have no problem if my wife wanted to play.Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #2 May 11, 2009 Quote On the basis that both partners are consenting (so I am explicitly not talking about cheating) what is wrong with partners having a fuck buddy? We don't all have equal sex drives and so why should one partner do without, we are also not good at everything in life so why not let people have freedom? Why be married if you want to have sex with other people? Become a frequent shopper at the local adult toy store. I am sure you will find something there that will help you out. TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beowulf 1 #3 May 11, 2009 If you could some how get rid of the emotional aspect, then yeah it might work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #4 May 11, 2009 QuoteIf you could some how get rid of the emotional aspect, then yeah it might work. Then it wouldn't be marriage. An open relationship is one thing, but you shouldn't step in to marriage until you're A) Ready to commit to a monogamous relationship. or B) Willing to sneak around for cheap hookers and one night standsYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 151 #5 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote On the basis that both partners are consenting (so I am explicitly not talking about cheating) what is wrong with partners having a fuck buddy? We don't all have equal sex drives and so why should one partner do without, we are also not good at everything in life so why not let people have freedom? Why be married if you want to have sex with other people? Become a frequent shopper at the local adult toy store. I am sure you will find something there that will help you out. Marriage is about a lot more than sex isn't it? I personally see marriage as a decision to share your life with someone that you love and care for deeply - not necessarily an obligation to have exactly the same tastes and desires in all aspects of life. Of course respect is a massive part of marriage and it is pointless one partner or the other being blackmailed into something they are not happy with. I have never been to a swingers get together - but one assumes that swingers are there by mutual consent - do you think they are wrong for getting married?Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 May 11, 2009 Oh, I thought you meant extra sex with your marital partner. That would be okay.I've seen people run open marriages. There always seemed to be jealousy rearing its ugly head sooner or later. Some of the marriages ended up failing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpwally 0 #7 May 11, 2009 I think the research out there shows a very low divorce rate among swingers as compared to the rest of us...smile, be nice, enjoy life FB # - 1083 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #8 May 11, 2009 QuoteOn the basis that both partners are consenting (so I am explicitly not talking about cheating) what is wrong with partners having a fuck buddy? We don't all have equal sex drives and so why should one partner do without, we are also not good at everything in life so why not let people have freedom? Rhetorical question - I am personally not interested although I would have no problem if my wife wanted to play. So you are actually expecting EXTRA sex.... when so many married people don't even get a normal amount???? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 151 #9 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote If you could some how get rid of the emotional aspect, then yeah it might work. Then it wouldn't be marriage. An open relationship is one thing, but you shouldn't step in to marriage until you're A) Ready to commit to a monogamous relationship. or B) Willing to sneak around for cheap hookers and one night stands You see that is what I don't "get" - why should marriage be monogamous? In some male dominated cultures polygamy is allowed - in the west we are supposedly more enlightened and mature, shouldn't polygamy be allowed for both sexes rather than banned for all? I find it interesting that peoples assumptions also tend to focus on stereotype men as the wanderers - I have heard somewhere that a rather large percentage of kids aren't actually those of the husband (even though he thinks he is)Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 151 #10 May 11, 2009 QuoteI've seen people run open marriages. There always seemed to be jealousy rearing its ugly head sooner or later. Some of the marriages ended up failing. I can easily imagine that happening - it is hard enough to have a healthy relationship with only 2 people involved. On the hand the only relationship that my father ever maintained and stayed deeply in love with his partner was an open relationship (unfortunately she passed away) so it can work for some.Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jcd11235 0 #11 May 11, 2009 Polyamory seems to be becoming more popular (or maybe polyamorous people simply tend to move to central Florida). That seems to range from a primary couple having an open relationship to several people who are connected by some combination of friendship and long-term, non-monogamous, committed relationships.Math tutoring available. Only $6! per hour! First lesson: Factorials! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #12 May 11, 2009 Quote Polyamory seems to be becoming more popular (or maybe polyamorous people simply tend to move to central Florida). That seems to range from a primary couple having an open relationship to several people who are connected by some combination of friendship and long-term, non-monogamous, committed relationships. I prefer polyandry myself.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #13 May 11, 2009 I am personally not interested although I would have no problem if my wife wanted to play. Well then...post a few pictures of her, I'm sure somebody on here can help ya out. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #14 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote Polyamory seems to be becoming more popular (or maybe polyamorous people simply tend to move to central Florida). That seems to range from a primary couple having an open relationship to several people who are connected by some combination of friendship and long-term, non-monogamous, committed relationships. I prefer polyandry myself.... If that is code for 'Chopping into my leg with a chainsaw' I would advise against it. YES, I know what it really means..."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #15 May 11, 2009 I also thought you meant "extra" sex while married. Seriously, having a fuck buddy or friend with benefits is great if you can handle it emotionally. However, if you're married and looking for a FB/FWB, personally, it isn't something I would approve of, even for someone else. I guess I'm old fashioned that way. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #16 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote Quote On the basis that both partners are consenting (so I am explicitly not talking about cheating) what is wrong with partners having a fuck buddy? We don't all have equal sex drives and so why should one partner do without, we are also not good at everything in life so why not let people have freedom? Why be married if you want to have sex with other people? Become a frequent shopper at the local adult toy store. I am sure you will find something there that will help you out. Marriage is about a lot more than sex isn't it? I personally see marriage as a decision to share your life with someone that you love and care for deeply - not necessarily an obligation to have exactly the same tastes and desires in all aspects of life. Of course respect is a massive part of marriage and it is pointless one partner or the other being blackmailed into something they are not happy with. I have never been to a swingers get together - but one assumes that swingers are there by mutual consent - do you think they are wrong for getting married? Everyone to their own opinions of marriage. I don't believe in marriage there for I will not get married. If I am in a relationship I will not be part of an open relationship at all. What is the point of a relationship if you are still screwing around (even with consent) with other people?TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #17 May 11, 2009 QuoteI think the research out there shows a very low divorce rate among swingers as compared to the rest of us... That's funny cause every couple that I have known to try it has gotten divorced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #18 May 11, 2009 Ever see the picture of the fence running right through the middle of a tree? If the fence is in place when the tree is planted and the tree then grows around the fence, everything is fine and eventually the fence looks like it's running through the tree. OTOH, try to cut a big hole in a tree and run a fence through it and the tree will die or be seriously injured. Open marriages, IMO, are a lot like that. I think that open marriages can work in situations where the ground rules were in place from the get-go. If a relationship is started and grows in an environment where the bond between the partners is completely separate of sex, then I think it can work. But for the majority of us, our bond to our SO is expressed and (GASP) even dependent on our sexual contact and an understanding of exclusivity. To try and take such a relationship and turn it into an open marriage is akin to cutting a big damn hole in the tree to slide a fencepost through. Elvisio "still learning about this marriage/tree thing" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #19 May 11, 2009 Quote I also thought you meant "extra" sex while married. Seriously, having a fuck buddy or friend with benefits is great if you can handle it emotionally. However, if you're married and looking for a FB/FWB, personally, it isn't something I would approve of, even for someone else. I guess I'm old fashioned that way. Does that entitle them to a good 'old fashioned' spanking from you?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #20 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote I also thought you meant "extra" sex while married. Seriously, having a fuck buddy or friend with benefits is great if you can handle it emotionally. However, if you're married and looking for a FB/FWB, personally, it isn't something I would approve of, even for someone else. I guess I'm old fashioned that way. Does that entitle them to a good 'old fashioned' spanking from you? Who would need the spanking? My FB or the open marriage participants that I wouldn't approve of?? BTW, as an addition to my original post on this topic: As long as it doesn't affect me, it's really none of my business. I just really don't want to know about it, I guess. And don't try to get me into any threesomes or whatever. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #21 May 11, 2009 Quote Who would need the spanking? My FB or the open marriage participants that I wouldn't approve of?? Oh, so NOW you have a FB... The plot thickens..."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #22 May 11, 2009 Quote Quote Who would need the spanking? My hypothetical FB or the open marriage participants that I wouldn't approve of?? Oh, so NOW you have a FB... The plot thickens... Fixed it for you. No plot to thicken, no pot to stir. Just an error of omission. And what do you care, anyway? Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #23 May 12, 2009 Quote And what do you care, anyway? Because 'abuse is love'...and we love our friends every chance we get!!! Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #24 May 12, 2009 Quote Quote And what do you care, anyway? Because 'abuse is love'...and we love our friends every chance we get!!! Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jakee 1,276 #25 May 12, 2009 Quote I've seen people run open marriages. There always seemed to be jealousy rearing its ugly head sooner or later. Some of the marriages ended up failing. Lol! Yeah, 'cos most normal marriages do just fineDo you want to have an ideagasm? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
