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cocheese

Sexidents, injuries from sex

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Told to me by an ex infantry-officer..

During boot camp, after the recruits' first weekend of freedom, his soldier came in looking very sorry for himself with a note from the doctor that his penis was broken.. The Officer asked him to explain, knowing perfectly well how it must have happened and seeing how obviously embarrassed the young recruit was when telling the story..

As if that wasn't enough, the Officer told the recruit "right, let's see it then" Much as he was uncomfortable, the recruit obliged and started unzipping his pants, and the Officer yelled "for fuck's sake, soldier, put it away, I don't want to see your cock!!"

Poor recruit - he must have been mortified, but I guess if I had been the officer I would have found it pretty irresistible to embarrass the hell out of the guy!! :D:D:D



He must have been a petty officer...
"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

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This sucked But is was a very light case - No permanent damage - just a slight list to one side now.

LOL - Just saw Misternatural's post . . .



Yea...this always sucks. Especially when your the one who did it to the guy :(B|


Well - after the pain is gone - it almost seems worth it for all the "Kiss it and make it betters":D:)
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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well besides the normal scratches sometimes...one time this girl was riding me and i went to smack her ass...and she was on the way up....needless to say my palm got her ass...but my fingers whipped into my sack...B|

~MaVriK~
"The Greatest Accomplishment in life is actually Living it"

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This one time I had sex with my girlfriend (at the time) on the beach and found the skin near the head worn off. Boy did that hurt.

Must have been from the sand in her vagina. :|

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Must have been from the sand in her vagina. :|



In Milwaukee it is against the law for women to drink beer nude on the beach. The law is designed to keep women from getting sand in their Schlitz.
Peace,
-Dawson.
http://www.SansSuit.com
The Society for the Advancement of Naked Skydiving

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Must have been from the sand in her vagina. :|



In Milwaukee it is against the law for women to drink beer nude on the beach. The law is designed to keep women from getting sand in their Schlitz.


The Great Lakes have sand on their shores?? I thought it was more like grainy salt-n-pepper grit. :D
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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However I have a funny story about a double dom session a friend of mine did with my regular client.


Session generally starts off with extensive ball busting and at the end he likes to drink golden nectar.

so my girl friend couldn't pee because she was on her period, so I peed in 2 separate cups and we were going to water down one of them to differ the taste.

I went to pour a bit of water, turned on the hot spout and then filled a bit of the cup. The head mistress then informs me that it takes a few minutes for the hot water to form up.

After a few minutes of fumbling around i end up going back to check on the client and awaited for my friend to arrive with two cups.

So she pours the cup into my clients mouth while he's bound to the table and he starts spitting it out and yelling.

Turns out that she decided to throw the piss in the microwave for 2 minutes and burned the entire back of his throat along with his tongue.

he hasn't requested her back for another session.
Best Girl Scout Ever.

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Random drunken encounter....in an alley...



Blow jobs wounds eh?

Yes I meant plural:P:o


gawd, and people say i was a perv.. :S

:D:D:D


WAS a perv????? :o:o
:D:D:D
“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
dudeist skydiver # 19515
Buy quality and cry once!

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However I have a funny story about a double dom session a friend of mine did with my regular client.


Session generally starts off with extensive ball busting and at the end he likes to drink golden nectar.

so my girl friend couldn't pee because she was on her period, so I peed in 2 separate cups and we were going to water down one of them to differ the taste.

I went to pour a bit of water, turned on the hot spout and then filled a bit of the cup. The head mistress then informs me that it takes a few minutes for the hot water to form up.

After a few minutes of fumbling around i end up going back to check on the client and awaited for my friend to arrive with two cups.

So she pours the cup into my clients mouth while he's bound to the table and he starts spitting it out and yelling.

Turns out that she decided to throw the piss in the microwave for 2 minutes and burned the entire back of his throat along with his tongue.

he hasn't requested her back for another session.



God damn.... :o:S Well, the good news is, (I'm assuming here) most people are reluctant to let on that they have BDSM sessions with dominatrixes, otherwise, your profession would have been sued out of existence! :P
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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However I have a funny story about a double dom session a friend of mine did with my regular client.


Session generally starts off with extensive ball busting and at the end he likes to drink golden nectar.

so my girl friend couldn't pee because she was on her period, so I peed in 2 separate cups and we were going to water down one of them to differ the taste.

I went to pour a bit of water, turned on the hot spout and then filled a bit of the cup. The head mistress then informs me that it takes a few minutes for the hot water to form up.

After a few minutes of fumbling around i end up going back to check on the client and awaited for my friend to arrive with two cups.

So she pours the cup into my clients mouth while he's bound to the table and he starts spitting it out and yelling.

Turns out that she decided to throw the piss in the microwave for 2 minutes and burned the entire back of his throat along with his tongue.

he hasn't requested her back for another session.



God damn.... :o:S Well, the good news is, (I'm assuming here) most people are reluctant to let on that they have BDSM sessions with dominatrixes, otherwise, your profession would have been sued out of existence! :P


How long did it take for your mouth to heal? :D
Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open!

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he hasn't requested her back for another session.



God damn.... :o:S Well, the good news is, (I'm assuming here) most people are reluctant to let on that they have BDSM sessions with dominatrixes, otherwise, your profession would have been sued out of existence! :P


How long did it take for your mouth to heal? :D


Walked right into that one, didn't I? :D

Nah, man, BDSM ain't really my thing, but she's a cool chicka
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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he hasn't requested her back for another session.



God damn.... :o:S Well, the good news is, (I'm assuming here) most people are reluctant to let on that they have BDSM sessions with dominatrixes, otherwise, your profession would have been sued out of existence! :P


How long did it take for your mouth to heal? :D


Walked right into that one, didn't I? :D

Nah, man, BDSM ain't really my thing, but she's a cool chicka


Couldn't resist, I was actually waiting for someone to post a comment all morning to that and you were the first target that presented iteself. ;)
Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open!

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