Nataly 38 #1 August 14, 2010 A hypothetical situation, but I'm sure we've all been there (either as the lov-er or the lov-ee!!)... So someone has a crush on you. You are not interested in them, but they continue to harbour feelings for you. Question: do you play a part in their continuing attraction toward you? Edited: spelling! oops!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #2 August 14, 2010 It's just a cross I bear... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 August 14, 2010 Quote It's just a cross I bear... You poor man.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #4 August 14, 2010 Quote A hypothetical situation, but I'm sure we've all been there (either as the lov-er or the lov-ee!!)... So someone has a crush on you. You are not interested in them, but they continue to harbour feelings for you. Question: do you play a part in their continuing attraction toward you? Edited: spelling! oops! I voted for no..... with a HUGE caveat..... you CAN make it known to them that there is no chance in hell even if it freezes over and have them direct their attentions to someone willing to put up with stalking behavior. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #5 August 14, 2010 so does this mean i cant stalk you edit: LMFAO @ stalking behavior if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #6 August 14, 2010 Quote I voted for no..... with a HUGE caveat..... you CAN make it known to them that there is no chance in hell even if it freezes over and have them direct their attentions to someone willing to put up with stalking behavior. I created the vote, so I'm clearly biased... I think if someone continues to have a crush on you, it's usually *mostly* because feelings are hard to turn off... But I think it's also quite common for people to encourage the person either because it suits them or because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Either way, I think encouraging someone or stringing them along is either selfish or else misguided - you're not doing them any good... But I'm curious as to what other people think..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #7 August 14, 2010 Quote Quote I voted for no..... with a HUGE caveat..... you CAN make it known to them that there is no chance in hell even if it freezes over and have them direct eir attentions to someone willing to put up with stalking behavior. I created the vote, so I'm clearly biased... I think if someone continues to have a crush on you, it's usually *mostly* because feelings are hard to turn off... But I think it's also quite common for people to encourage the person either because it suits them or because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Either way, I think encouraging someone or stringing them along is either selfish or else misguided - you're not doing them any good... But I'm curious as to what other people think... The don't want to hurt them thing is pure bullshit. More like don't want to deal with it. Do they really think not being straight with someone hurts them less when they eventually find out? Been on both sides but when I'm the crushee I make my feelings perfectly clear. Should they continue to pursue afterwards, it's probably time to disassociate with them or at least scale way back.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #8 August 14, 2010 Quote The don't want to hurt them thing is pure bullshit. I agree with everything you said apart from this statement.. Some people are just big softies - not like you or me! But they are still misguided."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,411 #9 August 14, 2010 Hey!I don't start threads about you! "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #10 August 14, 2010 Quote Hey!I don't start threads about you! I said it was hypothetical... Was I so transparent??! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #11 August 14, 2010 Quote Quote The don't want to hurt them thing is pure bullshit. I agree with everything you said apart from this statement.. Some people are just big softies - not like you or me! But they are still misguided. And some people like the ego boost. People are responsible for their own feelings and their own actions. If I have a crush on somebody it is up to me to act on it. If attraction is not reciprocal, it is up to me to move on. Not always easy. If you encourage a crush from somebody you aren't interested in, that is just cruel."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wrightskyguy 1 #12 August 14, 2010 I have a lot of experience dealing with this very issue as I am an AFF instructor. I think the best way is just to tell them straight out that you're not interested, then strip and have monkey sex with them. They will become so confused that they will just wander away and everything will be okay. John Wright World's most beloved skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hvance 0 #13 August 14, 2010 Quote Quote Quote The don't want to hurt them thing is pure bullshit. I agree with everything you said apart from this statement.. Some people are just big softies - not like you or me! But they are still misguided. And some people like the ego boost. People are responsible for their own feelings and their own actions. If I have a crush on somebody it is up to me to act on it. If attraction is not reciprocal, it is up to me to move on. Not always easy. If you encourage a crush from somebody you aren't interested in, that is just cruel. True, true mate.I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #14 August 14, 2010 Quote Quote If you encourage a crush from somebody you aren't interested in, that is just cruel. True, true mate. But.. Who then is going to take care of doing all my unpleasant shit like laundry, dishes, homework, etc.? And who is going to water my plants? And pay for my meals, and take me to the cinema? And buy me jewellery and gifts? Should I just give all of those important things up because it's cruel?? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #15 August 14, 2010 You are responsible for your own feelings. You are also responsible for your actions. If you know someone else has feelings toward you, you are responsible for how you respond. If you encourage it for selfish reasons, you are selfish.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #16 August 14, 2010 Adults use red/green conversational flags to invite/reject attention. Mostly, it is how they guide the conversation. "I wish I could find someone who genuinely cares..." "I am such a party girl. My last b/f couldn't handle my wild side." "I've been everywhere and done anything. I don't want a man who is clingy." "I go to the gym everyday, I can't get my butt firmer." (please, let's discuss my butt) or "Yes, my b/f likes to go to that place too." "...yes, but back to work - on paragraph 4." Most women are pretty obvious about their intentions. Most don't give guys the time of day unless they are interested. As a guy, I look for the flags. I really doubt that most adults don't understand this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #17 August 15, 2010 Quote so does this mean i cant stalk you edit: LMFAO @ stalking behavior Trust me.... it might be fatal for them. I am just not into that shit.. I have seen how it turns out for way too many female friends and relatives. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headoverheels 292 #18 August 15, 2010 No. I'm divine, and crushes are to be expected, as tiresome as they may be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brunsky56 0 #19 August 15, 2010 Never cut away a perfectly good hookup, They may have cute friends. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #20 August 15, 2010 Quote ..... you CAN make it known to them that there is no chance in hell even if it freezes over and have them direct their attentions to someone willing to put up with stalking behavior. Well, hell, why didn't you just come out and tell me? I can take a hint. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #21 August 15, 2010 Quote Quote ..... you CAN make it known to them that there is no chance in hell even if it freezes over and have them direct their attentions to someone willing to put up with stalking behavior. Well, hell, why didn't you just come out and tell me? I can take a hint. Awww Andy...... But see you sir are a gentleman.You realize that almost half of the population of the planet is the opposite sex.... chances are there is someone out there for everyone. When it does not work out most people move on . Others.. not so much. Some guys get absofuckinglutely psycotic if a woman they "want" rejects their "attentions".. but they can be cured very very easily of that crap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #22 August 15, 2010 Quote Some guys get absofuckinglutely psycotic if a woman they "want" rejects their "attentions".. but they can be cured very very easily of that crap. I'm sure there are psycho women as well... But I think the stalking kind of behaviour you describe falls outside what most people would consider "normal". I think in some cases they won't take the hint no matter what you do. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZigZagMarquis 8 #23 August 15, 2010 I voted "Yes" because I thought you were saving yourself for ME... N@t!!???!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #24 August 15, 2010 Quote I voted "Yes" because I thought you were saving yourself for ME... N@t!!???!!! That's right, honey.. But not until you've finished your list of chores! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZigZagMarquis 8 #25 August 15, 2010 Well... I just finished up the dishes, am working on the luandry, the laundry always takes so long because of the skid marks you leave in your undies, dear, and will be cleaning up the back porch / back yard soon... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
