shah269 0 #1 February 13, 2012 Discerning Vs. Shallow I was out to lunch with a number of good friends, women and men, and the discussion turned to online dating, dating, bar seen and mating which then intern turned to the difference between being Discerning Vs. Shallow. My friends are well aware of my little list of what I wish to find in a partner....given education, given employment status and given size as well as being OK with cats. For having this list i call my self shallow. However others disagreed. Saying a list like that can be called discerning.....I don't know... So thoughts, without getting into personal attacks and name calling, what in your opinion is the difference between Discerning Vs. Shallow ? Is it simply an issue of correct utilization of marketing? Is it gender based? Are men shallow while women discerning?Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #2 February 13, 2012 Discerning means to have ideals based on insight and understanding. Shallow means superficial. I won't get into how people fit into each of those categories. THAT would be shallow.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #3 February 13, 2012 Quote I was out to lunch with a number of good friends, Bullshit.I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #4 February 13, 2012 QuoteDiscerning means to have ideals based on insight and understanding.. So if some athletic girl who once dated a out of shape guy in the past who was incapable of keeping up with her and her desires to hike and rock climb and go on long bike rides now only dates guys who are equals to her with respect to physical ability.....she is discerning? But a woman who only dates guys with "a hot body" would be shallow? (not stirring shit up just asking)Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #5 February 13, 2012 Quote (not stirring shit up just asking) Bullshit.I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #6 February 13, 2012 QuoteQuote (not stirring shit up just asking) Bullshit. ^ HAHA. Guy or girl, rules apply equally. Being picky is anybodys right. Problems arise when you expect EVERYBODY to fit YOUR standards. THAT's shallow. The basic rule is: Go live your own life and stop worrying about how everyone else should look, act, and feel. When you search for one who fits into your standards, without expressing your opinion to those who don't; THAT's DISCERNING! When you don't find anyone who fits your standards, and you point fingers at everyone else for your personality flaws; THAT is Shallow. Life is not a fairly tale. There is no such thing as perfect. Though, I must admit, I am pretty fucking close. You're an engineer. I am sure you know the difference. Maybe, you're looking for a discussion from a differently-minded group of people. Maybe not. Good luck in your discussion. I don't check in often enough to keep up with the thread after I wake up.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #7 February 13, 2012 Discerning is the standards you put out for yourself. Shallow is what they call you when they don't meet the standards. Pretty simple.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #8 February 13, 2012 Quote I was am out to lunch Sorry , couldn't resist .... but probably should've. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #9 February 13, 2012 jtval Thank you well put. QuoteWhen you search for one who fits into your standards, without expressing your opinion to those who don't; THAT's DISCERNING! I have to agree. However, that's where my friends and I hit the conundrum. Eventually people are going to ask you to express your opinion via the "So why don't you ask out him/her to dinner?" At which point one has to express their opinion of what they find attractive or not. This reminded me and my friends of Schrodinger's Cat. You are discerning until you are asked of your preferences at which point you are then considered shallow. But thank you very well put. Edit to include photo of said cat. http://blog.geeksaresexytech.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/catsh.pngLife through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #10 February 13, 2012 Your list makes you discerning, your attitude makes you shallow. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #11 February 13, 2012 QuoteYour list makes you discerning, your attitude makes you shallow. I concur. And have to work on that attitude.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,106 #12 February 13, 2012 Have you ever considered a blog for your daily missives?Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loch1957 0 #13 February 13, 2012 I think I'm starting to like you, in a manly beer drinking way.Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,473 #14 February 13, 2012 >This reminded me and my friends of Schrodinger's Cat. You are discerning until you >are asked of your preferences at which point you are then considered shallow. Actually if it were analogous to Schrodinger's Cat then you wouldn't know if you were discerning or not until someone asked you. Then you would instantly be one or the other, with about an equal chance either way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #15 February 13, 2012 I don’t mean to sound sexist or to cause a fight but my friends (half ladies half dudes) kind of got into a slight argument about this. Per our discussion over lunch it almost became evident that it was acceptable for a woman to be discerning while it is not ok for a guy to be and is thus for he would be labeled shallow? Now you know me and I think both genders need to be equal thus I don't agree that a discerning man is shallow. It is a very volatile and touchy subject in our society and both genders take it in different ways.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #16 February 13, 2012 Quote Actually if it were analogous to Schrodinger's Cat then you wouldn't know if you were discerning or not until someone asked you. Then you would instantly be one or the other, with about an equal chance either way. No, as you see a person you wouldn't know what they were until you approached and asked, opened the box and looked inside. So before discovery the person could be viewed as both shallow and discerning. Having both states at the same time in the same place at the very same time. You yourself can't be the cat because then you would know if you were dead or alive or shallow or discerning.....right? Since you would have perspective?Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #17 February 13, 2012 QuoteQuoteDiscerning means to have ideals based on insight and understanding.. So if some athletic girl who once dated a out of shape guy in the past who was incapable of keeping up with her and her desires to hike and rock climb and go on long bike rides now only dates guys who are equals to her with respect to physical ability.....she is discerning? Right, noting that thirty pounds past their bicycle racing weight guys can still do that plus have blood pressure so low it'd be considered a medical condition if not "normal for children and athletes." Quote But a woman who only dates guys with "a hot body" would be shallow? Exactly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #18 February 13, 2012 QuoteActually if it were analogous to Schrodinger's Cat then you wouldn't know if you were discerning or not until someone asked you. Then you would instantly be one or the other, with about an equal chance either way. And if you were a cat, you wouldn't give a hoot what anyone else thought.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #19 February 14, 2012 If someone likes me, they're discerning. If they don't like me, they're shallow. It's that easy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #20 February 14, 2012 I always hear people say "You can't judge a book by its cover." Yes you can. That's why the cover is there - so you can judge it to see if it's what you want. The title. The cover imagery. It's all there so that you DO judge the book. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #21 February 14, 2012 QuoteQuoteActually if it were analogous to Schrodinger's Cat then you wouldn't know if you were discerning or not until someone asked you. Then you would instantly be one or the other, with about an equal chance either way. And if you were a cat, you wouldn't give a hoot what anyone else thought. My cat would be _very_ upset if I decided he was too fat and stopped feeding him kitty treats and salmon/crab/shrimp/meat scraps. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #22 February 14, 2012 Quote If someone likes me, they're discerning. If they don't like me, they're shallow. It's that easy. Well put very very well put! So....let's see how many of the ladies of Dropzone have called me shallow.....wow I always had a funny feeling they all Happy valentine's day ladies! May your boyfriends, husbands or live in lovers have bought you edible panties and did the dishes topless!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
