virgin-burner 1 #51 August 5, 2014 BIGUN The day after my hernia surgery, I woke up to my gonads being that large.... or, should I say that's what woke me up. I looked down and thought, "I am in deep shit!!!" Gently roll outta bed, pull on some running pants and shirt. Then, gently ease off the bed and cradle the grapefruits in my hands and waddle out to the truck to drive to the Doctor. The admin at his station sees me waddling in and picks up the phone before I get to her desk. Doctor greets me as I waddle up and says, "Come on back." He has me sit on the edge of the exam table and takes a look. At this point, I say, "You wanna tell me what's going on here?" Yup. It's a buildup of seminal fluid and it's clogged up the drain tube. He reaches in the drawer and starts taking out five rather large hypodermic needles. (now, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but anytime a man is talking about the boys and needles in the same sentence; your mind goes a little numb) As he's walking towards me with these needles, out of my mouth I hear me say, "Give me two of those and I'll help." He chuckles and tells me that he appreciates the offer, but a tech is coming in to help. So, I'm thinking some other guy is going to come in and I'm going to have a story to tell about how I once let two men fondle my balls. Nope. In walks this beautiful well-endowed creature with long wavy brunette hair and one of those v-neck doc shirts and bends over close to take a look and I can see down her shirt. She gets close enough that I can feel her warm breath on the boys. I think a little tear wells up in my eye at this point. She gently reaches down and cradles the boys for the doctor. Yes, there' a tear in my eye. Now, I'm thinking - this is gonna FUCKIN hurt. But, I feel nothing as I watch him stick the needles in one by one. He drains the fluid and the tech again leans down to check out the drain. There is a God. That ends Phase I. The next morning, I wake up to the same FUCKIN enlarged gonads and do the same thing to get to the doctor. Same process. I go back to the exam table and am in anticipation as I wait on the lovely young specimen to cradle my gonads. Doctor walks in and goes to the drawer, grabs the needles and starts walking towards me. Oh man!!!!! she's not far behind.... I can feel her warm breath before she even arrives. As I'm looking at the boys, the door opens and.... in walks this six foot 300 lb Samoan dude and the Doctor introduces him as the tech for the day. A tear wells up in my eye. Man, i fucking love you, that story had me in tears from laughing, i dont care if it's true or not! Thanks buddy! To share some good news with you guys, catheter is out, urologist was very happy and so am i! I've been to the toilet twice today afternoon because i had felt i needed to, and all went well. I may even be able to have an errection but that is only an unconfirmed rumour at this time, should it ever be acknowledged then that is classified information, so, there! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #52 August 5, 2014 http://youtu.be/mPwhMoQBg_8?t=29s ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #53 August 5, 2014 Quote As I'm looking at the boys, the door opens and.... in walks this six foot 300 lb Samoan dude and the Doctor introduces him as the tech for the day. A tear wells up in my eye. >> Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,062 #54 August 5, 2014 True story. It ends with one more episode in the middle of the night. Go to the hospital and the need for an emergency re-surgery the next morning. Doc couldn't make it till then so I was pumped full of morphine until the surgery the next day. And, I do mean pumped full of it. Hence, my knowledge of morphine babies. ... and how gentle a 300 lb Samoan's hands can be. Get well, soon. Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #55 August 6, 2014 I was released from the hospital today, now at my parents place.. Feeling pretty shit and tired now; think i'm gonna go to bed..“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #56 August 7, 2014 This is how VB became the Man of Steel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #57 August 7, 2014 normiss This is how VB became the Man of Steel. That beam was double the length; then it met my penis! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #58 August 8, 2014 normiss This is how VB became the Man of Steel. OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #59 August 8, 2014 akarunway ***This is how VB became the Man of Steel. OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard. Just had a chat with the copper that investigated; i am in for an "interview" the week after next. Federal prosecutor wants to know who's to blame insurancewise i guess. Copper took some over the counter painkillers that i have spare for when my back acts up. He asked my coworkers if i like to drink and what i've had for lunch and stuff. Nothing i've done wrong really i reckon. Meh.. On the upside, i got some good drugs from my family doctor this morning!“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #60 August 27, 2014 little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so.. still, kinda proud about that! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #61 August 27, 2014 virgin-burner little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so.. still, kinda proud about that! Go back to work!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #62 August 28, 2014 turtlespeed ***little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so.. still, kinda proud about that! Go back to work!fuck no, i wanted to have another holiday starting september, better make it so i dont have to use my vacay-days! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #63 August 28, 2014 akarunway ***This is how VB became the Man of Steel. OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard. Looks like poor poor housekeeping to me. I hope VB can find some pictures of the crane company yard for his next meeting with the swiss copper. In the US if the employer can shift the blame to the employee for a accident the company is ahead of the game.One Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #64 August 28, 2014 virgin-burner ******little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so.. still, kinda proud about that! Go back to work!fuck no, i wanted to have another holiday starting september, better make it so i dont have to use my vacay-days! I'm a gunna start call in you "Minnie"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 198 #65 August 28, 2014 Although it pales in comparison I had some more reconstructive work done on my nose and am currently enjoying a nice percocet buzz. Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,390 #66 August 28, 2014 airdvr Although it pales in comparison I had some more reconstructive work done on my nose and am currently enjoying a nice percocet buzz. Ugh! I had rhinoplasty a few years ago to repair the damage from falling into concrete steps on an icy day. I NEVER want surgery on that part of my body again!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 198 #67 August 28, 2014 This is my third time for the same problem. Squamous cell. Last summer they attempted to graph a piece of my earlobe in place of the excision. Graph took nicely but they didn't get clean margins. 6 weeks of daily radiation treatments. They built a mask and bolted my head to a plate so I couldn't move. Excellent exercise in warding off claustrophobia. After all that they still couldn't kill the cells so off with my nostril and take a flap of skin from my cheek and sew it in. Kind of a mini facelift. Today was just cosmetic to make me even more pretty than i already am. I know at altitude we get exposed to a different brand of Uv. Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #68 August 28, 2014 Krip ******This is how VB became the Man of Steel. OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard. Looks like poor poor housekeeping to me. I hope VB can find some pictures of the crane company yard for his next meeting with the swiss copper. In the US if the employer can shift the blame to the employee for a accident the company is ahead of the game. thank god i'm NOT in the US and we dont do any of that shit over here.. “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stayhigh 2 #69 August 28, 2014 Did the doctor tell you that your junk is going to work?Bernie Sanders for President 2016 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #70 August 28, 2014 i was having a look over the MRI-pictures i got; very interesting. i couldnt find anything that would lead me to believe otherwise! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,390 #71 August 28, 2014 stayhigh Did the doctor tell you that your junk is going to work? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHDdqubE7zQ"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #72 August 28, 2014 virgin-burner i was having a look over the MRI-pictures i got; very interesting. i couldnt find anything that would lead me to believe otherwise! The MRI won't be able to detect everuthing, like the psychological damage you , received as a result of your near death work related accident.Having any nightmares, problems going to sleep, flash backs of your accident?. Do you have intrusive thoughts about your accident, whenever you see a crane, construction site.? How do you feel about walking or sitting under a big chandelier, that can fall and hurt you.Have you considered keeping a journal about your recovery, and feelings. Gone to any counseling sessions with a professional to discuss your feelings and concerns. My god man, your a very lucky man your still in one piece. Good luck.One Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #73 August 28, 2014 Krip ***i was having a look over the MRI-pictures i got; very interesting. i couldnt find anything that would lead me to believe otherwise! The MRI won't be able to detect everuthing, like the psychological damage you , received as a result of your near death work related accident.Having any nightmares, problems going to sleep, flash backs of your accident?. Do you have intrusive thoughts about your accident, whenever you see a crane, construction site.? How do you feel about walking or sitting under a big chandelier, that can fall and hurt you.Have you considered keeping a journal about your recovery, and feelings. Gone to any counseling sessions with a professional to discuss your feelings and concerns. My god man, your a very lucky man your still in one piece. Good luck. i was having a couple problems at first, but it subsided pretty quickly. the sexy-thing, well, for the moment it's still painful, uncomfortable, and may i say "difficult"? give me another month and i'll be back to my normal old self! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 558 #74 August 28, 2014 normiss NSFW NSFW NSFW After seeing the pictures, please pass the morphine. It appears you were VERY lucky to not have any pelvic injuries! .................................................................. Those photos look familiar! My "wedding tackle" looked like that six years ago. I had scheduled a vasectomy and circumcision barely a month after a plane crash.... no, I did schedule the plane crash. Since I was already grounded by a dis-located shoulder, etc. I decided to continue with the (already scheduled) groin surgery. It was amazing how much my "junk" swoll up and how long they took to heal! The healing process probably took longer because I was more than 50 years old and trying to heal every major muscle group at the same time. The only saving grace was that I was already taking massive amounts of Tylenol 3 and not sleeping well, so I barely noticed the extra pain in my groin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stayhigh 2 #75 August 29, 2014 Hey dude, some people gets kicked in the junk for fun. You might develop some sort of fetish out of it.Bernie Sanders for President 2016 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites