Nataly 38 #26 December 9, 2014 mr2mk1gNearly 3 years and you're not sure if he knew it was your birthday? Be thankful and move on. Meh - I'm not big on birthdays - I've forgotten it myself once!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrDom 0 #27 December 14, 2014 Regardless of how anyone feels my OPINION (and it is only that) is that when you enter into the arrangement to commit to someone you owe it to them to look them in the eyes when you tell them it is over. It is just disrespectful to leave what is essentially a "dear John" letter by voicemail. You deserve better. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you seem to be doing OK with it though.You are not the contents of your wallet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #28 December 15, 2014 I don't know what prompted him to action, or why he chose to leave the way he did, but since the relationship was clearly not working, I'm not sure it really matters. I did have a horrible thought that some people are abandoned this way when there are children involved... The idea alone made me sick to my stomach. I'm actually grateful that this was not the case with me. So whilst I think he could have been a bit more curteous and at least had a conversation with me, he could also have done far worse..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BETO74 0 #29 December 15, 2014 Interesting coincidence, I was dumped via email last monday, funny thing is she pulled the I have to work on myself to later pick up were we left??? to fucking funny, I mean I am 40 yrs old we are not longer in High School ! what is it with ppl now days! granted I had done my share to make this world the way it ishttp://web.mac.com/ac057a/iWeb/AC057A/H0M3.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craddock 0 #30 December 15, 2014 Nataly And at least the toilet seat is always down, as it should be!!! As it should be for you. As a single dad with a 9 year old son I used to always ask to make sure you put the damn seat back up!! I keep the bowl clean and a Cook real food and clean so the least I can ask when I am single is to put the DAMN seat back up when your done using it. But not in your place of course A Single person comment obviously and sorry for your current times but not overly sorry. Sounds like you were just filling a void knowing things were wrong and would have liked a more appropriate ending. Life does not always work that way. Were you secretly looking around also? Rhetorical question. I enjoy your posts and through the keyboard you seem genuine and real. The kind of person I would like to have as a friend. Looking forward to hearing about your better times. Half glass full Nataly That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #31 December 15, 2014 Nataly I don't know what prompted him to action, or why he chose to leave the way he did, but since the relationship was clearly not working, I'm not sure it really matters. I did have a horrible thought that some people are abandoned this way when there are children involved... The idea alone made me sick to my stomach. I'm actually grateful that this was not the case with me. So whilst I think he could have been a bit more curteous and at least had a conversation with me, he could also have done far worse... Maybe he was scared you would find out he stole your bike.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #32 December 18, 2014 craddockSounds like you were just filling a void knowing things were wrong and would have liked a more appropriate ending. Life does not always work that way. Were you secretly looking around also? Rhetorical question. I wasn't just filling a void, although I can see how it might seem that way... Sometimes your brain tells you it's not working and your heart finds it difficult to reject/dismiss all the good qualities the person does have. I also wasn't looking around - secretly or otherwise... I'm of the opinion that if you are out looking for trouble, you should not be in a relationship. Or at least not with that person."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyBabeAU 3 #33 December 18, 2014 Sorry he did such a spineless thing, that really sucks. Perhaps the way he did it also shows you truly just what he was- what he lacked in character regardless of why he ended it. Better to know that now than later, better to not compromise by continuing to live in something that wasn't working. And whilst it always hurts when there's a break up, now you're free to live as you like, spend time with people who will treat you well, and accept nothing less in a relationship down the track than you deserve. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewGuy2005 51 #34 December 18, 2014 mr2mk1gNearly 3 years and you're not sure if he knew it was your birthday? Be thankful and move on. THIS. That's a huge red flag. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #35 December 18, 2014 Thought this might make you laugh like it did me.No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,061 #36 December 18, 2014 You do know you don't need all those condoms for that, right? Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,390 #37 December 18, 2014 Oranges"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrubin 0 #38 December 18, 2014 Gullible"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #39 December 18, 2014 Jerks!! Both of you!! No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,390 #40 December 18, 2014 promise5 Jerks!! Both of you!! "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrubin 0 #41 December 18, 2014 promise5 Jerks!! Both of you!! Me?"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #42 December 18, 2014 FlyBabeAUSorry he did such a spineless thing, that really sucks. Some days I think the way he left me was spineless, some days I think it was lazy, some days inconsiderate and/or disrespectful... And then the rest of the time I think he just walked away the best way he knew how. You can't judge a person by a single act... For sure it's a strange feeling to have someone in your life EVERY DAY for 3 years and for him to suddenly vanish with no explanation or warning whatsoever... That being said, I can't help but think it's waaaay more civilised than a lot of breakups I've seen where people say/do some really hateful/hurtful things to one another."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyBabeAU 3 #43 December 19, 2014 Nataly, Sure, its not good to judge someone on one act, but you did say it wasn't working, and then he just walked away. I am glad for you he didn't get nasty. For the length of time you were with him, it makes me wonder where his priorities were to be able to just do that. It takes strength of character and basic respect for the person you break up with face to face, precisely because there are easier options available. This may well be more about him than it is about you. Anyway, hugs, and I hope you have a bunch of good friends at your DZ and your life to spend time with, be awesome single. Enjoy their company and have fun together. Willing to bet there will be someone far more amazing in your future that you need to be free for, and in a good emotional place when you meet them, than you might imagine at the moment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Divalent 89 #44 December 19, 2014 Nataly... only last month he vacated the appartment he was renting (which is likely already rented out to someone else now) and moved everything here, so after all that hard work it's certainly not terribly great timing for him to finally come to the conclusion that we're better off going our separate ways... What can you do... I suspect there is a connection. Many a fine relationship was ruined by trying to live together. It takes away all ability to have your own space, and forces both to confront aspects of the other that mostly are not a problem when you each have your own place. (And its not just romantic relationships that can get ruined by this: many close personal friendships can sour when one of them gets the bright idea that they should be roommates.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #45 December 19, 2014 Divalent***... only last month he vacated the appartment he was renting (which is likely already rented out to someone else now) and moved everything here, so after all that hard work it's certainly not terribly great timing for him to finally come to the conclusion that we're better off going our separate ways... What can you do... I suspect there is a connection. Many a fine relationship was ruined by trying to live together. It takes away all ability to have your own space, and forces both to confront aspects of the other that mostly are not a problem when you each have your own place. (And its not just romantic relationships that can get ruined by this: many close personal friendships can sour when one of them gets the bright idea that they should be roommates.) The "loss of freedom" (perceived of real) may well be a factor... Even though ironically he spent all his time at my old place and he was the one who insisted we should move in together!!! Perhaps the reality of it did not live up to his expectations... I don't think it's what ruined a good relationship - maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #46 January 3, 2015 Just a quick little "bump" to say thank you to those who took the time to PM me with various stories, helpful hints and kind thoughts/words For anyone wondering, I am doing just fine - in fact it's the first time in years where I am really truly happy and feel at peace with myself. Life is good "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #47 January 3, 2015 Way to go, Nataly. That's a great attitude. 2015 is a new year, so make it the way you want it. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 38 #48 January 3, 2015 BillyVance Way to go, Nataly. That's a great attitude. 2015 is a new year, so make it the way you want it. +1 Glad to hear you are moving on and doing well!lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
