The Legend of Rocket the Wonder Dog

[TomBegic 0]

Aaaahhh Rocket. Now that is an infamous story. Quite funny if you're not an animal lover fascist and you have a warped sense of humour.

I will use fake / no names to protect the innocent. I am passing this story on 2nd hand and deny everything!!!!

One boring day after completing some wonderful jumps, several jumpers were sitting around wondering what to do. Lets call the jumpers flippy do, gimp, ruin, and fatso!!!!!! They were sitting at fatso's place when fatso's mother's dog turned up to play. Big mistake - no, actually - it was a turning point in the dog's life. His real name was changed by deed poll from an Eastern European unpronouncable name to Rocket - just like all budding movie and porn stars do.

The lights were glowing brightly in the minds of flippy do, gimp, and fatso. Out came a 20yo 8ft military cargo roundy, webbing, gaffer tape, and a plastic shopping bag.

Fatso's mother was starting to worry. She loved her dog dearly and could see that the jumpers were up to no good - oops, I mean they were accelerating the creation of an extreme doggy legend and mapping out a potentially lucrative career in the media (cough splutter bullshite cough).

As the jumpers sped off (I mean drove calmly) to their destination, mumblings of "that dog better come back in one piece or you will suffer the same fate" were heard in the background.

The show arrived at the destination. Rocket was displaying signs of excitement as the jumpers (now acting as riggers, stunt advisors, safety officers, animal rights consultants, fluffers, cinematographers, etc) approached the exit point. Rockets ears were curled down, his eyes were darting around wondering what the hell was going on - oops I mean he was assessing the whole scene as a part of his regular pre stunt potential problem analyis. The webbing was very professionally made into a harness by some of the finest riggers this world has seen. The deployment system chosen was the most up to date direct bag technology (the canopy was "packed" into a plastic shoping bag). Flippy do gave Rocket his final instructions. Gimp was assigned the critical role of D-Plastic Bag deployment specialist, Fatso was filming. We had several support crew in the water below.

As the scene board was cut, silence enveloped the jump site (until a semi trailor drove past and nearly blew the whole film crew off the bridge). Rocket looked over the edge and gulped. He knew he was in for something special. A ground breaking event. He just wasn't sure what to expect. ;)

As Rocket lept off the bridge (we are yet to confirm but he may have been assisted with a gently placed hand on his tush by Flippy Do), the crowd held its breath. Rocket plummeted at hundreds of miles per hour to line stretch. The key moment arrived - would this latest technology deployment system function adequately for this extraordinary stunt. The next fraction of a second would tell. Like slow motion - the canopy started releasing from the plastic shopping bag. Anticipation was high. You could feel the heart beat of the crowd and the star that was entertaining it. A defining moment in aerial stunt cinematography was occuring before our eyes.

Rocket was almost burning up due to the immense speed he was reaching. The jumpers were extremely well prepared for such a scenario. Their skills included physicists, IT analysts and programmers, mathematicians, engineers, stunt coordinators, riggers, etc, etc. This whole event was so thoroughly planned and executed, thousands of lines of code were written to calculate every aspect of the stunt including physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. Simulations were conducted. Test were done.

Back to the event - as the canopy finally escaped from the bag and started its gentle inflation, Rockets special fire retardant and G Force suit kicked in as he decelerated from supersonic freefall speeds to a gentle waft / float towards the water below.

The crowd was relieved with the perfection & execution of this stunt.

Rocket dropped gracefully into the water and was immediately retrieved by the well equipped rescue crew (he was fed 2 cans of dog food as well!!!!!), the fluffers towelled him off and he was ushered past the adoring crowds into a waiting car.

The whole event was so dramatic for Rocket that he suffered a strong case of flatulence on the way back to his country estate.

Fatso's mother was so impressed that Rocket came home alive.

After the dizzying heights of his stunt / movie career, Rocket went on to do several cliff and another bridge tandem with Fatso. He was well on the way to becoming the first ever BASE doggie until tragedy struck.

After a long difficult day at the country club, Rocket decided to sleep under the front tyre of Fatso's mum's car. She approached the car from the rear and could not see the front. As she reversed the car out of the garage she felt that sickening bump that haunts her to this day.

Rocket died a hero. He had acheived so much in his short life but had not even come close to realising his full potential.

It was ironic that the person who loved and protected Rocket the most (Fatso's mum) was the one who would bring about his downfall.

There have been several pretenders to Rocket's throne. But no one could match his courage, brilliance, and sense of adventure & acheivement.

RIP Rocket You will be remembered forever (or at least until the end of this post).

Stay Safe
Have Fun
Good Luck

[TomAiello 25]

I just had to pull this out of the PETA thread, and give it it's own life. People might have missed it tucked away at the end of that thread.

For the record, I believe Aussies, especially Aussie BASE jumpers, to be among the most conservative, boring people on earth.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[jonstark 8]

Thanks for that Tom. You made my day!!!

jon

[BASE813 0]

fucking crack me up!

Nice!!!

Now I wonder if Morpheus do a feline harness and troll MDV 15sqft for my cat?!?!??!?!?!

[Dd0g 0]

The funny thing is that Flippy Do managed to "misplace" a dog owned by my ex one day while we were out surfing. Ok perhaps I had something to do with it also. Now, between the two of us I think there was a sum total of perhaps one actual, responsible adult human being (hmm, I suspect a bit less come to think of it). But somehow we managed to not keep such a close eye on the dog, and when the last set rolled through, he was nowhere to be found.

We searched far and wide for that dog, to no avail. Tired, wet, and yes even a bit chagrined we drive back to the City of Dodgy Jumps. Calls to local humane societies turned up no leads. Either the dog had swum out into the breaks and been eaten by a whitie, or he found some people he felt to be better guardians than the two of us and he never looked back. I think the latter, as the dog had common sense on his side.

We managed to keep this little stunt a secret from my ex for many months, but eventually the excuses ran out and we had to come clean. Naturally, I blamed Flippy Do for the whole thing and of course who would doubt his culpability in any hare-brained scheme gone awry? Nobody, so I was (mostly) off the hook.

The dog's name? Rocket. The irony of the moment was lost on neither of us. Still makes me smile. . . I wonder where that Rocket is right now?

Peace,

D-d0g

+~+~+~+~
But this, surely, was the glory that no spirits, canine or human, had ever clearly seen, the light that never was on land or sea, and yet is glimpsed by the quickened mind everywhere.

[K763 0]

Hey Mac!

I've heard that 48 zp pilot chutes work well for cats, at least from the 2nd floor, from more than one source. However, any kind of parachute on a cat is superfluous, as they are one animal that can survive it's own terminal velocity, much like the baby barnacle goose.

K

[skreamer 1]

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However, any kind of parachute on a cat is superfluous, as they are one animal that can survive it's own terminal velocity

Bloody hell, it is true. According to this web-site cats survival rate is 95% for falls between 9 and 32 stories!

Mac, can we 'borrow' your mom's cat for some testing?

[Faber 0]

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I've heard that 48 zp pilot chutes work well for cats

Quote

However, any kind of parachute on a cat is superfluous, as they are one animal that can survive it's own terminal velocity

Mac only has a 46´os it has to work

hell i use a 46´zp pc when i freefall 2.floor(see my avatar),well i didnt have the guts and i probaly got too much alcohol aswell at that time(aproc 2am at 1/1-04)

Happy B-day MAC 30 years to day.. as Skin said on UK borad.. you old fart

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[garef001 0]

is that video available?? would love to see it

Thanasi

[Faber 0]

only the pic at my avatar proves anything if all(psst i didnt jump)

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[benny 0]

hah, this thread has me contemplating my kitty's first jump as i type. any suggestions on materials to withstand the sharpest claws ever?

Never go to a DZ strip show.

[Snowwhite 0]

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hah, this thread has me contemplating my kitty's first jump as i type. any suggestions on materials to withstand the sharpest claws ever?

Duct tape

skydiveTaylorville.org
[email protected]

[BASESlim 0]

I was there last night flopping some rollovers off (the said bridge) and I told the story to some newbies. Great to see the story live and breath again. I was surprised to see it here on a forum the next day. Amusing writing style.

Care to tell the next chapter about Runar in Goulburn court with the video?

[benny 0]

I hear there might be video of rocket's adventure somewhere. anyone know where I might find that, I need a good laugh

Never go to a DZ strip show.

[TomAiello 25]

What's the rule in Oz? Is evidence from a trial considered public domain?

Maybe we could convince Slim to tell the rest of the story...

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[benny 0]

trial? what trial? they put them on trial for this? i thought the dog lived...

Never go to a DZ strip show.

[ManBird 0]

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trial? what trial? they put them on trial for this? i thought the dog lived...

The trial was not for that, but it didn't help the case any.

"¯"`-._.-¯) ManBird (¯-._.-´"¯"

Click

[reddevil1 0]

sorry to here about the dog ,i look after my one's a bit better,and keep it a way from car splat.good story.

The point of no return what a rush.

[reddevil1 0]

woof woof.

The point of no return what a rush.

[op5e 0]

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For the record, I believe Aussies, especially Aussie BASE jumpers, to be among the most conservative, boring people on earth.

It is probably built up fustration because of the lack of decent exit points in this country. Mind you there is a community so it can not be that bad. Bleh either way "I object", well actually I probably agree with you. What would I know I have not started base jumping yet. Oh well back to the beer.