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DUDE....All your pics have unattractive people with bad accents....Get some new material. Pic 2 - I see you're all about swoopin the bitches. Lastly, why do you insist on using the size of your junk to name your pictures? -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Heeeeeeeeey Maaaaaaaaaaan. The hat is off limits. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

My understanding of Icarus products is that: Made in NZ is the most preferred Made in Spain is good Made in USA is the least preffered -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

I remember when you were busting our balls for the smart ass one liners. I'm glad you've seen the light. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Always fly a canopy that you can land in the WORST of situations, not the BEST of situations.

It would be MUCH more fun to talk about the WORST "pilots" we know. All this butt-kissing is unnecessary. I now consider it stevo-ing. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

"He/she is sitting in high school english right now day dreaming about the GIRL in the third row." I think you are right Dave. The best pilot ever is either a dude or a lesbo. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Kissing Tagle's butt after you razz him - PUSS'ing -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Being only the fourth woman on the PST - GRANT S ADAMS.....ing Doing a 90 or less - ELOY'ing -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Calling a crash a "wingover" - HANSEN'ing Leaving a permanent imprint of your face on the edge of Mile Hi's pond - BILLINGS'ing Using complicated words to describe canopy flight while being way too nice and smiling ALL THE TIME! - GERMAIN'ing Finding yourself in line twists at an EXTREMELY low altitude - JEFFRO'ing -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Swooping while old and Canadian - ARMSTRONG'ing Swooping your reserve - JOE BENNET'ing -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Alright then.... Swooping while being deeply touched - FROST'ED -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

I will apologize in advance to those with no sense of humor. Feel free to add your own. Executing a beautiful swoop only to wreck yourself when you put your feet down - DRENNAN'ing Swooping angry - JUDY'ing Swooping with a bad haircut - MOLEDSKI'ing Swooping while feeling under-appreciated - FROST'ing Swooping in a midget costume - BAATCH'ing Swooping while HUGE - LUND'ing Catching a tree with your endcell and getting body slammed - STU'ing Swooping while bald - HARTSWIG'ing Swooping while badly needing a haircut and shave - SPIZZZARKO'ing Swooping between used car sales - THORNTON'ing Swooping when not busy with other "hippie oriented" events - SKYMONKEY'ing I could go on for days. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

This is a tough one to answer. You are going to have to try different sizes and see if any of it fixes your problem. I would probably hold on to the 30" for hop n pops, and go to a 26" for terminal jumps. But you will have to find out for yourself what works for you. Ask around and see how your pack job on the velo compares to others who get good openings. It could also be that you have that odd velo that just has personality issues. Later. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

We will be sure to have the loudener out on Thursday to welcome you homos proper like. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Yes Chris, you need to stop sucking as soon as possible. Love you man. Peace. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

I would talk to Mel at Skyworks Rigging. He can put cascaded HMA on pretty much anything. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Not enough airspeed. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

BOOOORRRRINGGG!!! Dude, quit telling everyone all the shit I taught you. I'll go back and read it now. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

This really covers everyting. I want to put this as my new signature quote. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Dude, sometimes the best way to stay safe is to realize that some things are unachievable. This statement I only apply to myself of course. I just feel like there are people out there who seem to think that pro swoopers do just as few jumps as they do and any day now, thier skillset will catch up. We just have to step back and make a realistic assessment of our abilities and potential. None of this is worth getting hurt or dying for.

Look. There is alot more to this than you seem to think. As said before, all the original swoopers, and all swoopers up to the very recent advent of this digital alti, learned how to swoop, and swoop well, with an analog altimeter. You may know exactly what altitude you need to initiate a given turn, exactly where above the earth you need to initiate that turn, have an instrument that tells you EXACTLY what altitude you are at, and still not swoop well. All the digital alti does is tell you where to start on the x axis. You must also consider turn rate, dive rate, and wind drift during the dive. The alti will not magically get you where you need to be on each leg of your setup either. You must visually determine your position above the earth and the progress you are making. Only your eyes can tell you what altitude you are at when you swing around on that last 90 degrees. You only have your eyes to tell you if you are drifting toward or away from your entry point so that you can adjust turn rate to compensate. It is not nearly as easy as getting to your desired altitude, holding down a riser for a couple of seconds, letting go, planing out, and you rock. This miracle of modern science on your wrist is not going to make you a good swooper. Repetition, coaching, and practice in combination with ultra currency makes great swoopers. Don't try to compare yourself against a factory pilot or competition swooper if you can only make a couple hundred jumps a year. The digital alti is a nice innovation that makes it easier to determine altitude, and that is all. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

DUDE!! Update your profile or lie to us. You're scaring me! Did you really go from a hurricane loaded at 1.5 to this JVX at 1.9 (underloaded IMHO)?! This is no joke, especially at altitude. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

While your level of "being impressed is noted,you should also note that none of these guys claim to do it "well". And not everything posted here is a good example. Take it all with a grain of salt, get some coaching, and you'll live long in this sport. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-

Please ensure that Mark doesn't "tuck it", and sneak in the the ladies comp. -We are the Swoophaters. We have travelled back in time to hate on your swoops.-