Nataly

Last night I saw a profile on Tinder that I had seen before... I swiped right ("like") out of curiosity. To my amazement, woke up this morning to a "match" and a message from this guy and thought HOLY FUCKBALLS - HE DOESN'T REMEMBER!!! To explain... A little over a year ago, I matched up with a cute guy on a dating site. I may even have mentioned it on here... After a few words exchanged online, he *insisted* we meet up for a coffee - he seemed very keen, and I agreed. He arrived just before me, and as I was walking up to him I could already tell from the look of utter DISGUST on his face that he was *not* a happy camper. He had a huge slice of cake in front of him and a ginormous coffee. We did the customary two kisses on the cheek and I asked "should I order a coffee?" He said "fine" in the least enthusiastic manner imaginable. By the time I had my coffee in hand, he had already vacuumed up his cake and finished his super-sized coffee as well. After all of 2 words he cut me off, got up and said "listen... I'm going to go now, because this is NOT going to work." Emphasis on the "NOT"... And just like that he got up and left. But I thought - whatever... At least I know the guy is a douche from the word go. AAAAAANYWAY... Fast forward to today... He wants to meet up for drinks. I just... Can't... Even... There are no words... Part of me thinks I should meet up with him... Most of me thinks even in the best-case scenario it would accomplish nothing at all and/or never be as satisfying as I imagine in my head... Because he is unlikely to give a shit. And just for the record... I make a point of putting some seriously unflattering pics on my Tinder profile - it *usually* weeds out guys like this... But sometimes, apparently, they can't be arsed to look at all 6 pictures... Hmmmm... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

The Captain was confused as to which direction he was being pointed to... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh my gosh - sooooo cute

Was jumping at ZHills *ages* ago and Billy Porter had signed my logbook with his fingerprint - I think he got the idea because an ink-pad just happened to be lying around at manifest... Well, Scotty saw this and got an idea of his own... He disappeared with my logbook and proudly handed it back to me a few minutes later... I looked at the ink-blotch and tried to figure out what on earth it was??? Then it hit me... His knob!!! Ohhhh, how we all laughed, until he got a funny look on his face... "Fuck... How am I gonna explain ink on my dick to Tammy???" Fucking Scotty!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yes, since serial killers are a hell of a lot more scarce than fat women, the men are far more likely to have their fears come true. Back when I used POF, I learned that the rule for womens photos was that they had been taken ~40 pounds ago. Well, it may be a more probable outcome, but the point is the risks are not the same... ETA - I look *exactly* like my pictures In fact, I tend to add one or two choice ones where I look pretty horrible!!! Lolol! I've had more than one person say I look better in person! (Weeds out the guys looking for a Barbie doll... I *can* dress up and look pretty, but I am mostly a tomboy ) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Just one small point... On the internet, you have the ability to cast your net much wider... You can converse with *several* people at the same time - something that would be difficult in a bar (for example). It therefore allow predators to catch more prey. Another minor (but related) point: you don't get a good feel for a person online at all. Not until you take steps to meet them for real. And even then, it can be hard to get an "accurate" reading - especially as some of these guys (and presumably girls) go on a lot of dates and can become very skilled at bluffing their way through conversations... All this artifice has made dating/relationships trickier than it used to be, IMO. I heard (or maybe read) somewhere that the number one fear that men have from using Tinder is that the woman they meet will turn out to be uglier/fatter than her pictures... And the number one fear of women?? Meeting a serial killer... Kinda tells you something, doesn't it??! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I agree that the internet puts you into contact with people outside of your immediate circle of work colleagues/friends/family... That is for sure part of the appeal at first... Because I am busy and do a lot of activities but I don't meet a lot of new people... And sometimes I am happy with a guilt and responsibility-free hook up, and it's great for that too... But oh my gosh you need to filter out A LOT of very unsuitable people... Some because you are simply not compatible... But more often because they are just plain scary... It's a minefield... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

^^ THIS ^^ ETA: and they are in a big hurry to find this "replacement" wife/mom... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

For sure, each claim needs to be investigated. Because these women may *all* be liars. But the worrisome thing is that their stories seem in line with what he said himself... That, coupled with the well-known fact that most victims *don't* speak up... Well, it doesn't look good... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Generally when you walk out of a 15 year relationship the level of profound love is pretty low and easily replicated. Perhaps "connexion" is a more appropriate word? I just meant they want an instant relationship... But getting to know someone takes time. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Because it's the only correct answer! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Hey, when we joined your Stalkers Club, no one said anything about ball-gags and strap-ons! I wrote gag-ball and not only did you get what I meant but without even thinking about it you corrected it in your response!! Hahahahahaha!!! Awesome! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Trouble is, you can spend a lot of time screening and still not get it right. And I never said I wasn't having fun "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Was it because of your pepper-spray? Maaaaybe the strap-on was a tad large, but honestly, he should have just bit down on his gag-ball and taken it like a man. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

You just haven't met the right no-strings-attached hook up yet. Lol! Dunno... I used to have a better radar about these things but due to prolonged periods of deprivation I think it occasionally becomes defective... And you end up with a micro-penis... Or some dude who is opposed to ANYTHING other than missionary (including "disgusting" things like foreplay)... Or the guy starts to cry mid way (no kidding - that has happened)... Or he wants your number - you give it - and then you receive a billion messages... "Did you get home ok?" "Hello???" "Why aren't you answering?" "I am worried..." "Should I call the police???" And I'm thinking holy fuck, buddy... I didn't answer your 20 messages because I was still on my bike, heading home... JESUS... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

... Because you are still married? (Serious question.) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I stay well clear of the freshly divorced men who are an emotional wreck... But I have met a lot of men who are divorced and can't WAIT to commit again... That is also *freaky*... It's like they forgot that intimacy is something that takes years to build up to - you can't walk out of a 15 year relationship and right into the same level of profound love immediately thereafter. I know it's a phase... And I'm quite certain the men have to filter out a lot of crazy bitches as well... But I feel like the first round of divorces typically happen when women are in their prime and men are going through a mid-life crisis... Both may be damaged goods temporarily, but the men just seem to be particularly messed up. I dunno. Even no-strings-attached hook ups are remarkably hard to find or hardly ever worthwhile. It's definitely NOT the same as dating when you're in your 20s... People have baggage. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Before I start, a question: is it ever ok to block/blacklist/unfriend someone without telling them? Asked that question five years ago, and I would have said no. Ten years ago, I would have said WTF are you even talking aboot (had a stronger Canadian twang back then)??? I remember the days before mobile phones... Friends were people you actually spent time with. Ignoring someone was hard because caller ID did not exist and unless you stopped going to all your usual places or moved towns, you were bound to bump into them - you had to actively pretend you didn't see them... Right there... 2 feet away from you... Yeah - you'd look like a crazy person. Dating meant going on actual dates. Spending hours on the phone talking. Now, from the comfort of my own home, I can message - or ignore - a bunch of people I barely know. This interaction is superficial and doesn't cost me very much... But it also has little value to me. So every once in a while, I clean up my contact lists and delete the people I don't care about. I figure if I cannot even recollect who the person is or how I got their details, it's off the list for them. As a testament to how little people care, 99% of people never even notice we are no longer "friends". And dating has become just as non-committal. It's no wonder people who are freshly divorced think it's absolutely shockingly insane... They have been out of the game for 10+ years, and the game has changed. First off, the seemingly never-ending pool of candidates must be mind-boggling... Next, they are totally unprepared for the crazies (people like me who have been serially single for waaaay to long and are scary to normal human beings - also, psychopaths)... And finally, they get all upset if they get blocked/blacklisted/unfriended or whatnot... Me?? I blacklist like it's going out of style. Ugh - the picture is a cropped picture of him and his ex?? BLACKLIST! The guy has a selfie in the elevator *and* he has a BlackBerry?? DOUBLE BLACKLIST! The guy started the conversation with just "Hello"? BLACKLIST THAT MOTHERFUCKER! He has pictures of himself wearing a diaper and not when he was a child? Hmmm... Might just be The One - WINNER!! But seriously. Are people and relationships becoming as disposable as everything else?? It's kinda sad... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I don't think his massive ego will allow him to concede defeat. I have some concern he will claim the election was rigged and call for a "second amendment" response from his supporters. The days after the election could get really "interesting". I also suspect the secret service will have to be especially vigilant as long as HC is in office. DT has brought a lot of ugliness to the race and I don't think that will just go away any time soon. Don This is what I think as well. It's hard to imagine any other reaction from him, even in the face of a landslide Democratic victory (which seems unlikely anyway). Although Trump being Trump, he *could* claim something outrageous like he staged his own defeat just to prove a point. EDIT: Other things he could claim: - Clinton had 30 years of bullshitting experience - she is therefore a seasoned liar/politician (unlike him, of course) - The whole system is broken - Americans are too scared and/or not ready for change "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

His ego could never handle the loss... His most likely response would be to kick up a big stink about the election being rigged. Sadly, even if there is never any supporting evidence for this, loads of people would believe it nonetheless. And he would be relentless is repeating it over and over and over again. Ironically, if it ever came to pass that there was overwhelming evidence that *he* had rigged the elections, his response would undoubtedly be to call it a conspiracy to cover up Clinton's cheating. And some people would believe *that* as well. Whatever the outcome, he is unlikely to go away. I wouldn't put it past him to run a second time. And no matter what transpires, I wouldn't put it past some people to vote for him. And he might even win. Heck, he might win this time around. And what he will do if he wins is far more worrying than the disruption he will cause if he loses. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I own 3 cats *and* have access to google - does that make me a qualified horse veterinarian? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Wow = "you so clearly don't know what you are talking about that I don't even know where to begin..." Also, "I somehow doubt any explanations will be worth my while." (Yes, I have probably just wasted 10 seconds of my time just now.) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Hint: If you want to maintain any form of credibility, throwing baseless accusations of mental illness at someone just because they don't agree with your politics, is not the way to do it. Psychopathic and narcissistic personalities are not necessarily mental illness. Basically, an Axis I (treatable mental illness) diagnosis is only applicable when it is determined that an individual is a threat to themselves or someone else which includes not being able to conduct activities of daily living. Axis II diagnoses are personality disorders and are documented but are not treatable. IMO, I'm still in the bounds of rational thought concerning our elitist governmental leadership. Again, wow. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Wow. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I have stopped guessing about the outcome of any vote - I believe that stupidity abounds and is actually pretty hard to predict (and I don't just mean in the US). I will say this... Regardless of what I think of Hillary Clinton, I believe Donald Trump is totally unfit to be a president. I believe he is a textbook Narcissist and a dangerous person to be leading the US. After some first-hand experience in dealing with a narcissist, I have done a great deal of reading on the disorder. Where some experts lump narcissists/sociopaths/borderline personality disorders under the wider umbrella of "psychopath," each one has specific traits. However many of these traits overlap, and because each person is unique, few (if any) people fall 100% in only one, neatly defined category. That said, whether you prefer to call him a psychopath, a sociopath or a narcissist, one underlying trait common to all 3 is a lack of empathy. Now, a lack of empathy does not mean these people do not *understand* feelings/emotions - it means they do not *care* about other people insomuch as it does not impact them directly. They are prepared to use anything and everything to manipulate others into doing/getting what they want. They lie, bully, cheat, steal, and even kill in the most extreme cases. And they do so without regret. They are dangerous because in addition to having a total lack of empathy, they also have a total lack a conscience. This means that not only are they extremely self-serving, they also have nothing holding them back from doing or saying whatever suits them at any given time. The problem with this is that the collateral damage can be HUGE (sorry, had to slip that one in!). And sadly, the actions of a US president can and do have an impact faaaaaaar beyond your American borders. People all around the world are following this election and are (understandably) very worried about its outcome. His only redeeming feature is that he cares deeply about himself, so he *can* be counted on to look after his own interests. So as long as your interests are aligned with his, he will follow through on many of his outrageous threats. Therefore, if you are part of the wealthy, selfish, racist, sexist elite, you should definitely vote Trump. The world may be a far shittier place, but your position in it will be just fine. Narcissistic Personality Disorder - DSM-IV and DSM-5 Snakes in Suits by Robert D Hare - guy who developed the Psychopathy Checklist The Sociopath Next Door "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss