Nataly

You are welcome to think what you want, but it seems to me you are simply part of the people who do not get it. And that's fine

I remember very clearly when I told my parents I was going to get a tattoo... I was 16. Now, when I look at 16 year olds, I realise how *young* I was. My mom was horrified that her baby was going to “mutilate” herself. My dad told me: “imagine that years down the line, you meet The Man Of Your Dreams... What if he doesn’t like tattoos?? I want you to think carefully about that.” Even at 16, I found his remark offensive... Surely, The Man Of My Dreams will love me in spite of - and perhaps even even more because of - my body art. And surely I should not base my life choices on whether or not some (hypothetical) *man* would approve or not - but on whether it was something that *I* as an individual wanted. It’s now nearly 20 years later. I am getting the tattoo removed. By the same token, I am also getting a second tattoo removed - one I got in November 2015... The latest one is a ring that I got etched into my skin as a permanent symbol of my undying love for my now-ex-boyfriend. We both got that one done. Twice. And with each treatment (I have now had 3), I hear the snicker of ignorant people, telling me they will use me as an example to their kids about poor life choices. And I find these remarks very, VERY annoying. Because they do not get it AT ALL. I have never once regretted either tattoo. I will say that again: I have NEVER, ever, EVER regretted either of my tats. It is with great sorrow that I am watching them slowly fade away. It was a harder decision to part with them than to have them done in the first place. It fills me with tremendous sadness that I will not see them anymore when I look in the mirror - for they are as much of part of me as my ears, or my nose, or my lips, or my crooked teeth. They are *me.* They tell a story. So why have them removed? Well, believe it or not, I am removing the scorpion to make room for a different tattoo... And whilst I am at it, I am getting the ring removed. The latter is purely an economic decision - it costs me nothing extra, so I might as well kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But otherwise, I garantee you that I would have kept that ring and loved it every bit as much in 20, 30, 40 or 50 years (if I make it to that age!!). Couldn’t they just do a tattoo over the old tattoo, you ask? Well, no. I want something very specific... It will be dainty and delicate - not a big cover-up. I could have worked around the old one. But the style of the new one is very different. So I tell myself that in my heart, my little Skorpie will always be there. I will carry it with me as long as I live. Ditto with the ring. They are both etched into my soul. So before you tell your kids: “you see - one day you will undergo painful and expensive laser treatments and regret that you got ink done,” be honest and tell the truth... Not everyone regrets their life choices. Some of us are proud of our body art. Some of us find beauty in our mistakes. Some of us are willing to make huge sacrifices to get even *better* designs... The message you should be telling your kids is to love themselves. Warts and all. And that some of their mistakes will be the best things that could ever happen to them. I am sad to see my tattoos go. Because I love them. I loved them before I got them done, during the many years that they were on my body, and I will continue to love them long after they will be gone. You don’t just stop loving because you don’t see something (or someone) anymore. By all means, tell your children about the realities and consequences of getting ink done. But don’t kid yourselves - not everyone regrets their tattoos. In fact, the vast majority of us really, really, REALLY love them. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Just the way it works. Once you figure out how something works, you have a chance to fix it. Depends on the circumstance. Stolen valor kind of thing? Yeah, let him have it. But some poor schlub trying to impress some girl? Heck, have a little pity for the bruthah. . . . Nope, sorry. Still no sympathy!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'm sorry but I am all out of sympathy for schmucks who think they need to make shit up to impress a girl. I am also all out of sympathy for men who claim it's sooooooooo hard to approach a woman. Oh really??? How hard do you think it is to dance all night in 6-inch heels??! You risk getting rejected?? BIG FUCKING DEAL. I risk getting raped, killed or worse (!) if I trust that random stranger who just walked up to me... Seriously... I think a lot of guys have NO CLUE about the dangers we constantly have to watch out for when they complain about how hard it is to approach us. And by the way, I'm a grown-ass woman. If I like a guy, I will walk up to him and start a conversation. I don't just stand there sending out brainwaves, hoping he will read my mind and come over to talk to me... And I promise you, a lot of guys behave like total pricks when *they* are not interested... So these days men do not have the monopoly on getting rejected... Yeah... All out of pity, I'm afraid. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

That's probably it... Ironically, it is not the first time someone pulls out the "I'm a helicopter pilot" bullshit... I used to work on the Bell 412 as an Aviation Systems Technician in the Canadian Forces... (In "civilan terms" that's a helicopter mechanic...) One time I was part of a crew that went to CFB Halifax for the weekend... And in the bar that night, someone tried to tell me he was one of our pilots, just here for the weekend... And I was like "dude, no you are not"... If memory serves me, he was actually "just" a Tech, like me... I believe he might even have been lower ranking!! It's a long time ago now... But still funny! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

...Can't ya take like 10 seconds to Google that shit first??!! Seriously... It was the Grand-Prix weekend over here... Funniest thing I heard all night? Him: So yeah, I am a Helicopter Pilot. Me: Really? What do you fly? Him: Oh, you know... Helicopters... Hmmm... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yep!! When I discovered these two by accident a year or so ago I binge-watched all the videos I could find of them - they are AWESOME! I think they have one called "Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus!" Or something like that. Hilarious! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Am I a bad Canadian for not knowing it was Victoria Day??? Typical Quebecois. Nope - New-Brunswicker "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

My mom and I wanted to do a bit of canyoning in Corsica... We booked ourselves into a group and our instructions were: "meeting point is at 09:00 in the parking lot with the big olive tree in the middle" Only problem: *EVERY* parking lot had a huge fuck-off olive tree in the middle!!! We never found the group, but we saw an awful lot of pretty scenery and we also get a refund, so all good

Well done!! I think I fell consistently for my first 30 or so jumps!! Then I bought gear that was WAAAAAY too small for me (which I still jump today), and proceeded to learn to actually fly the thing because I was so effing terrified of killing myself on landings!! So my advice? Continue your excellent work on landing... Continue to use every opportunity to improve your canopy-flight technique... And for fuck's sake, when you *do* buy gear, make sure it is of an appropriate size/wing-loading/shape, et cetera so that landing on your bum will continue to be a thing of the past!

This part really resonated with me... I have had a lot of "second-hand" experience dealing with addiction, and the one things that seems to be a common thread is that these people seem incapable of taking any responsibility for what is "happening" to them. Like everything is always everyone else's fault. It's one excuse after another. And it's so disheartening that they hardly ever comes to the conclusion that they are at fault. If/when they *do* reach this stage, it often is the result (or cause) of a massive breakdown... Their delusions become so out-of-sync with reality that they are FORCED to face the music. It's pretty hard to watch. It's pretty hard to support someone before they reach that point, and harder still to see them through to the other side. It's devastating not being able to do much, because ultimately, they are the ones who have to do all of the hard work of repairing their broken selves (ie: you cannot do it for them)... Kudos to you for having the courage to own your mistakes. Bravo for acknowledging them. Congrats for going one step further and sharing this with others.

Am I a bad Canadian for not knowing it was Victoria Day??? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

That's the best thing you can do at this point. Everybody knows what this shitbag is all about. The neighbors and police are watching out for you. Eventually he'll move on. Well, hopefully... *Bump!* Well, in the past month, the guy has (mostly) left me alone. He has been lurking by my office building at lunch-time, and a neighbour recently told me he was in my village 3-4 times in the past couple of weeks... He sent me a message via Facebook to let me know he was "relieved" to see I was back to my boring every-day routine... (I had not been able to block his FB account as he had deleted it and only recently reopened it. Now that his account exists again, he is blocked. Obviously I did not respond to his lame message.) So yeah... Still hovering around, but at least he is too cowardly to actually bother me. Recently read a book by a French-Canadian, called "le Monstre"... The woman is my age and she met a similar asshole when she was just 18... Her account of the events sent chills down my spine as I feel that had I met someone like my guy when I was younger I might have endured a similar hell. I do feel lucky to be old/strong/secure enough not to have fallen for his bullshit once we got past the honeymoon/love-bombing phase... I take away the good and remember the bad, so that I may avoid people like him in the future. Life is good

I have to agree... The word "terrific" has come to mean "really great" whereas it originally meant "inspires terror..." "Awesome" meant "to inspire awe" and not "very cool..." "Literally" meant "actually" and not "I-swear-it's-so-freakin-unbelievable-that-I-have-to-exagerate-the-shit-out-of-it." However, worse than that is what you say: using vague words to get a reaction from (ignorant) people. One of our interns was telling a story which I doubt is true... She claimed her friend and her got detained during an airport security check because her friend's luggage didn't pass the swab test for explosives... And apparently what set off the explosives detector were the "chemicals" found in her make-up... Because she had SO MUCH makeup it made the machine beep (because wouldn't ya know her friend worked for L'Oreal)... And doesn't that just scare you that they put the same stuff in bombs as you put on your FACE??? And to this I answered: if you were told that "water" was an essential component/ingredient in the fabrication of bombs, does that mean you should stop drinking water??? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think this is one of the rare shows that has extraordinary character development... Breaking Bad was another one that comes to mind. And I especially liked the strong female characters. Honestly, one of the best shows I've seen in a while. I followed it from the very start and am sad it won't be part of my weekly routine anymore... Will have to start a new series. Like Game of Thrones. Or something. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Is anyone else devastated by the show's finale??? I'm not going to spoil it for people... But oh. My. Gosh. I will miss this show. And Jeffrey Dream Morgan... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I very much doubt that V married you just 'cause you had a job "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Dayum - them are two SEXY dudes!!! EDIT: I just want a gorgeous, tall, large-cocked SEX-GOD who knows his way around a gimp mask and a hogtie... Is that too much to ask??? FURTHER EDIT: and *isn't* also a psychopath... Damn - You HAD to put in that last caveat! Yep... Live and learn... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Dayum - them are two SEXY dudes!!! EDIT: I just want a gorgeous, tall, large-cocked SEX-GOD who knows his way around a gimp mask and a hogtie... Is that too much to ask??? FURTHER EDIT: and *isn't* also a psychopath... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I wouldn't date Tandy if he was the last man on Earth! Lolol!! I googled that picture to see what the hell you guys were on about!! Meh. Not dating at the moment. Getting back on dating sites is a bit depressing, to be honest. I log on, feel it is a waste of time, disable my accounts for about a week, get bored, log on, feel it is a waste of time, disable my accounts... Et cetera, et cetera. But I must admit, I did have a chuckle at the thought of meeting up with a guy with a shaved eyebrow and a pair of undies on his head! It's not gonna happen, however, as for some unknown reason he "unmatched" me. (Yeah, I can't figure it out either!! ) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Hey... Underwear on one's head is not a permanent disfigurement... And eyebrows? Well, they usually grow back!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

So this was a fun Tinder conversation... Him: "let's play truth-or-dare" (Followed by several relatively lame "truth" questions) Him: "dare" Me: "but I have no way of knowing you carried it out!" Him: "well, I can do it on our first date" Me: "ok. Show up on our first date with your underwear on your head" Him: "..." (Followed by several more lame "truth" questions.) Him: "ok, another dare" Me: "are you sure?" Him: "I like risks!" Me: "ok, shave off one of your eyebrows" Him: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???" "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Luckily, I have been in my community and at my company for a long enough time that his allegations make *him* look like a total lunatic. So although in the beginning I defended myself vehemently, I have come to realise that ANYHING I do/say will be twisted and told in such a way as to make me look like an asshole. Even doing NOTHING is somehow interpreted and twisted into a false and ridiculous narrative. Anything to get a rise out of me... Anyhoo, I have stopped feeding the monkey... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Thank you for the tip - I will look into it... I am not a qualified to properly diagnose the guy, but I have been educating myself on "narcissist" and "sociopath" and "psychopath"... They have some common traits, and the mechanism/neurosis is quite similar... All the (credible) documentation/books/videos advise the no-contact method, and I have adopted this from 20 march 2016. I broke this rule twice following escalating harassment and it confirmed rather nicely that no contact means NO CONTACT... So I have gone one step further and instead of re-directing his emails to a folder, I have blocked him entirely. So I no longer receive ANY of his messages - not even in my trash or junk folders. Unless he creates a new email, and occasionally he has done this... And the new email promptly gets added to the blocked lists. I also - changed my phone number - blocked him and ALL persons remotely connected to him from Facebook - deleted my account on dating sites - complained officially to the police (and will see about a restraining order tomorrow) - asked security at entrance to the building I work in to keep him out - told EVERYONE in my village to advise me if they see him (they did the other night, which is great) - have an escape plan/route if he shows up at my door again - will change my locks tomorrow and install an alarm system All that is left now is for him to find a new victim... Although the damage was relatively minimal, I am in no way underestimating the threat that he poses. Because he is angry and violent at the drop of a hat. Especially when he feels a perceived injustice or injury - such as no contact (!)... ) He did/is doing a lot of awful things, but I believe he is mentally unstable and *actually* unable to help himself. Doesn't make him any less toxic, but knowing that he is crazy is good for 2 reasons: 1 - it helps me to realise that it is pointless to try and discuss ANYTHING with him on any rational/normal level whatsoever 2 - it helps me to realise that he is INCAPABLE of being fixed - so there is no point in hoping/trying And finally, but rather importantly, I am taking a long hard look at why he picked me and why I let him into my life and what made me vulnerable and what I did to enable him, et cetera, et cetera. It's not victim-blaming to realise you need to RECOGNISE (and improve) your weaknesses and NOT fall for the same tricks again... Because bad people are out there... You cannot change that... But you can better avoid them and/or protect yourself. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'll tell you why some people might be afraid to speak out... (Aside from the obvious fear of physical violence.). He was constantly twisting things around and taking "embarassing" pictures and generally gathering "blackmail" material on me. And threatened to bring these out in the open... He's counting on this to upset me except he is the one with things to hide... And if there is one thing he has not understood about me it's that I have NO SHAME WHATSOEVER!!! I'm a pretty straight arrow but then am the first one to dance nekkid on the table at the office party!!! So whatever might have worked on another girl will only make me laugh!!! Anyhoo he didn't and doesn't get me at all. So he can go ahead and try to make a fool out of me. He will only end up looking like a moron. Besides, he is the one who cares so much about appearances - I am a massive over-sharer so I don't see how he could "humiliate" me... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss