beezyshaw

OK, you got me. It's pretty sweltery around here lately. Of course I'm sure Baton Rouge is nice and comfy outside, too.

Oooooh, don't say that. Hell, when you got to the waterfront when you guys were at the beach, you probably said "I'm going in now" !!

I think he ventured out to defecate and was devoured by swine. That's what a proper Brit might say, but then again Billy's from Alabama, where they just say He wint ta sheeut an the hawgs ate em.

Lucky you! Down in the middle of freakin' Florida just in time for that dee-lite-ful August weather. Hey Chuck, now you'll better understand when someone says... "I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, dad, can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm, you think?) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "Oh, gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?) We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried severa more times with the same results. "Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. 2 - Lizards - $140... 1 - Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30... Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie... Priceless! Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!

Hey Lisa, in June I also had a trip to Alaska! I worked up there for a summer a long time ago, flying Salmon (caught in set nets from the shore) across Bristol Bay to be flown to Japan. One of my old skydiving buddies who was up there too liked it so much he built a cabin and goes there every year for a fishing vacation. I got invited to go along this year and it was a blast. Kind of a tough trip getting there; took 6 hrs from Georgia in his Gulfstream III. Here's a link to my yahoo photo album from the trip. http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beezyshaw/album?.dir=/86eare2&.src=ph&.tok=phZ1wBFBVcgC60MR

I've been saying that about you for a long time edit: What does that sig line mean? Now I don't get it.

Hope this finds you having a great day and you're healthy & happy In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

The SOLO is an audible alarm only. I have one and it is small, loud, and has 3 programmable altitudes. I think tthe OPTIMA is the replacement for the ProTrack, and would have the data you're looking for.

The difference between the first generation Monarch and the later ones is the early Monarch had no "lip" at the leading edge of the canopy. Later the lip was added to the front of the upper surface/ribs and it helped the openings a lot. Other than that the canopies' airfoils and linesets are identical. Precision updated many of the first Monarch canopies and it improved the openings of most of those canopies. Note: The lip was added as a separate piece of fabric to the Monarch, rather than an extension of the upper surface. This was due to PD having a patent on their method of forming the leading edge of the canopy.

Not sure if there's still any affiliation with Oakley, but Neil Houston (Airspeed) was a designer/engineer with the company. I think I remember Neil brought Oakley from the hand-molded clay frame days into the cad-cam design era. I know when Neil first became a full time 4 way skydiver he was able to work out of Eloy and submit work to Oakley via telecommuting.

I actually only give the student the left toggle, I keep my left hand down low for camera work. I have the right toggle, along with the student, and we make all turns to the right until about 500 ft, when I pick up the left toggles for landing. In other words, if we need to do a 90 to the left, we just do a 270 to the right. Once you get used to flying all right turns its no problem at all.

There are some points I would like to make. There is a distict difference between a rig that is left closed and sealed for 18 months and a rig that 2 or 3 times in that period of time is opened, freebag carefull removed from the pack tray, then all components visually inspected for signs of debris, contaminants, moisture, etc. then closed back up. Sometimes, because the AAD closing loop does elongate (called creep in fiber lingo), the loop can be shortened a bit or even replaced if there are any signs of fraying. I would never actually do this with my gear unless it were made legal to do so, but I would like to see an option such as this be discussed as an alternative to extending the complete A to Z repack cycle. Your canopy really doesn't get any real benefit or see any improvements by putting your hands all over it for no real reason other than to put it back just like it was.

I only have experience with dz's that charge the same for video, whether it be done by outside or handcam. As for the gearing up, I place my camera on a counter a few feet away as I gear up the student, then I walk on their left and do a nice interview on the walk to board the aircraft. Same takeoff shots, in-aircraft stuff on the way to altitude, and post landing stuff. Like I said, if you can place someone in the landing area with a video camera you can edit the landing shot into the dvd to get that part which clearly falls short when it comes to handcam. Often this video person can be a friend of your tandem student with either my video camera or often their own, as frequently people bring their camcorders along. You just tell them to "stand right there" and tell them the colors of your canopy.

Eric, that is certainly a valid point. Right now, at Tullahoma, if someone wants video and stills they get conventional. I can, of course, capture stills from my Sony IP-5, but the quality is only suitable for email/wallet size prints. While once in a while the stills are of equal importance to video in the customer's mind, generally speaking the video of their skydive is the big thing for them. Here's a thought; maybe dz's offering both options could do this and over time the proof would be in the pudding, so to speak. Offer both formats, by showing sample videos of both types during the orientation, explain the difference (ie, that they cannot get stills with handcam, but only get freefall with outside method), then give the customer a few minutes to make a decision and let them choose which they would rather take home with them. Or for the customer that has unlimited funds, get both for a premium price and edit into a nice dvd. I've already been involved in having the landing shot by someone on the ground so that the approach/landing can be done more conventionally, and that seems to work well to make a more professional looking product. But to get back to the real advantage to handcam (aside from the economics for the dz and tandem pilot), the five minutes of canopy ride and dialogue is really valuable footage, especially when the tandem pilot does a good job of it.

And what's with the rumor that John chopped his Nitro right after I relined it for this event...something about somebody (initials TS, recently wed) rigging his canopy to his risers and not properly connecting a toggle to the control line?? And damnit, Hippie, I thought I lectured you properly last time about being trigger-happy and chopping a controlable canopy. Can you say..."rear risers"?

Let me guess, Mixologist is a video guy in the rotation at DeLand? I can only speak from 3 years' personal experience doing tandems with handcam video. I want to make a couple of points here. First, and most importantly as to the quality of product you get with handcam, I can tell you that at TN Skydiving Ctr. in Tullahoma, we had on several occasions the following scenario: A group of friends came and did tandems, one went with me and took home handcam video, the rest of the group got conventional video. A couple of weeks later, one or more of the original group came back for a second tandem on the condition they could jump with the handcam instructor. The reason is simple, really. The customer (student) is a movie star for 4 times longer in their video than their friends. The canopy ride, the expressions during and following opening, the conversation during canopy ride are all captured on video and the conventional video just doesn't offer that. You can say whatever you will about the technique, but my friends, the customer is the one spending the money for their jump and the video of it, and flat-out, no debating it because I have experienced it for three years, tandem students like it better and that is all that really matters. You can go on and on about the shot you can't get with handcam, and yes it is a different shot than we've all become used to seeing; but I say it again, it isn't what video guys think is good that matters, what is important is the customer's satisfaction. The second point I want to address is what Aggie Dave is saying about feelings of concern for safety compromises. At the last PIA symposium, I helped Rob Warner conduct his seminar on handcam tandems. There were many jumpers, dzo's, and others present who are and have been involved with this method since its inception, many folks from down under were there. This subject was discussed at length, and out of the many thousands of tandems done with handcam video, there were no safety issues at all. No close calls attributed to, or compounded by handcam. None at all, ever. While I would tell any tandem instructor who doesn't feel safe jumping with a camera on his hand that indeed he should not attempt it, I would argue strongly that there is no added risk of malfunction nor does handcam in any way distract a good tandem pilot and reduce or compromise attention to conductiing a safe tandem skydive. This stuff about grabbing the camera seems far-fetched; to me it reminds me of the way certain tandem instructors keep repeating to their passenger "don't grab my hands" during the pre-jump briefing. In my mind if you keep saying that to your student you're actually planting a message in their brain to grab your hands. I never mention not to grab my hands, and I've never had a student grab my hands. If someone did grab me in freefall, I can guarantee you that I'm at an advantage being on top of them and I'd beat the dog shit out of them or bite their freakin' ear off to get them to let go! I think it's some sort of saying that got started a long time ago and really has very little basis for even being mentioned. Another thing I want to say is, for God sakes people, quit saying "handycam". If you don't like "handycam" for skydiving, you'll have to ditch all your Sony cameras and start using JVC or Panasonic. Self-shot tandem video is "handcam", and Sony's product trademark is "handycam". To Mixologist, and all other nay-sayers: Thomas Paine said long ago about situations just like this..."Lead, Follow, Or Get Out Of The Way" Oh, one last thing to whoever said that handcam is only a tandem instructor's ego trip. That's the funniest comeback I've heard yet. Tell you what, you can have the ego trip, I'll quietly take my hundred bucks per jump paycheck and go pay my bills.

Can anybody really be as stupid as this guy? I mean, could he really think that kid was his? http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/not-the-father.html

What did you mean by that question? What are canopy makers' recommendations for use of Spectra 550? As a canopy maker I would answer I wouldn't recommend the use of Spectra 550 on any canopy, period. It doesn't hold trim worth a crap. If you want small lines, use a more dimensionally stable fiber like Technora (HMA).

You'd better not ever think of a stinkin' altimeter as a device "upon which your life may depend". It is an accessory, a gadget, for SECONDARY reference only. Please do not put the message out there for all these newer jumpers that they DEPEND on their altimeter for anything.

Ian, I know and understand why you're a PD fan, but what you say to Jan here makes absolutely no sense. She did not imply nor infer that customers would have to deal directly with PD instead of their dealer...what are you talking about?

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

You probably thought it was Charles Manson.

Hey Robbie, here's another one that bugs the crap out of me. Why the hell do people not understand the difference between "there" and "their", and between "to" and "too" There, now I too feel better.

Didn't anybody else see JEEZUS? Somebody say "Hal Ah Lool Ya" amen