TFFTM 1 #451 October 27, 2005 Time for another story..... BSBD Home of the Alabama Gang Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #452 October 28, 2005 QuoteTime for another story..... Quote Who...ME?! TFFTM huh....can't TELL ya the number of times I wrote THAT in my log book! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wartload 0 #453 October 28, 2005 Ok ... Let's see how a PDF attachment will work here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #454 October 28, 2005 In the army, 30 years ago, they told us that if you were being towed behind the plane to put one or both hands on your helmet to let them know you were still conscious. Then they would cut you away, and hopefully you could open your reserve. If you were unconscious the plan was to foam down the runway and land with you dragging behind. The saltier jumpmasters took delight in explaining this part to everyone. I can still picture their grim faces with a sparkle in their eye, as the head jump master said, "and then we're going to land with your ass dragging behind the plane!"....and then seeing all the sick faces on those who were about to jump. I think they enjoyed playing with our minds. This is the first story I've heard of it ever actually happening....Steve1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RogerRamjet 0 #455 October 31, 2005 Quote This is the first story I've heard of it ever actually happening....Steve1 Look at the mccurley post in this thread: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=510339;page=2;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=25; See the zhills DC3 attachment. ----------------------- Roger "Ramjet" Clark FB# 271, SCR 3245, SCS 1519 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dougiefresh 0 #456 December 15, 2005 Tell us a story! It's been MONTHS!Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robr 0 #457 December 19, 2005 I'll echo Doug's request for a story. Y'all have really good ones and it's too cold to be hanging around a bonfire outside with the old timers right now...one side gets toasty warm the other side gets frostbite. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bozo 0 #458 December 19, 2005 QuoteI'll echo Doug's request for a story. Y'all have really good ones and it's too cold to be hanging around a bonfire outside with the old timers right now...one side gets toasty warm the other side gets frostbite. ----------------------------------------------------- Heres one. Back in the early 80s at the old North Las Vegas drop zone....our regular pilot Burt was sick so the dzo dragged a guy named Darryl out to fly. We assumed Darryl was a high time guy. At that time we had a Turbo C206....a great plane for jumping. As usual with a new pilot we fucked with him all the way to altitude.....farting and such. Ole Darryl figured he would get even with us at about 10 grand and started acting all crazy and shit. He says ya ever seen a wingover ????? We played along and told him go ahead. The crazy fucker did it....with a load of five jumpers. He wasnt as good a pilot as we...and he, thought.....because he lost control of the plane........I crawled out on top of the door at about 6 grand.....on top of the underside of the wing. We all got out ok......Darryl recovered the plane at approx. 2 grand. He took it back to the airport and left. The dzo spent three hours picking us up all over the desert. NEVER NEVER FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PILOT ! bozo bozo Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #459 December 19, 2005 QuoteNEVER NEVER FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PILOT ! All to True We had a 182 pilot that was a wee bit hungover one morning(he had gone out drinking with us after all),so we saw fit to carry on more that usual........ He pulled high g's.......he pulled zero g's.......... The closest I ever came to being airsick I was very glad to part company with that aircraft at '7200Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites niu 0 #460 December 19, 2005 Hanging upside down under canopy used to be a favorite pastime of mine during the slow ride down in the days before the real hot canopies. This seemed to work well until the day I found myself suspended by the right release and my left hand at an altitude of about 800 feet,simply because the Classiflyer I jumped at the time did not have any housing on the left release cable. Add to that a very short part protruding through the loop and a thumb in the wrong place,and a one sided cutaway is a fact. Hanging on until landing was not an option,cut away and pulled the reserve just to have nothing much happen. Check the ripcord,both pins out. Elbow work and tilting over to the left fixed it,but the grass sure grows fast at such low altitudes,the reserve ride lasted 10 seconds or so. Reserve pilots that are fixed in place by the loops are a great invention. Same goes for cable housings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 6 #461 December 19, 2005 NEVER NEVER FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PILOT ! Your story brings to mind yet another adventure of "The Mighty Kaptain K" The 'Kaptain' as we called him, is the guy that took his FJC the same day I did, he had just returned home from Vietnam. We had known each other in high school...he was an 'all right' guy...little weird, but harmless. We became pretty good friends, jumping together all the time at the same little outlaw club where we started. He came to visit me in college...and NEVER LEFT! Used his GI Bill to further his flying credentials, eventually getting his double I multi and A&P... I'd flown with him often, even prior to his enrolling in school, he was a DANGEROUSLY good pilot. In other words...he has good skills, HUGE balls, and a seemingly endless amount of pure dumb luck. I could write stories about his exploits that would receive the 'That's Bullshit' reply from all those who didn't know him...but they're all true! On this occasion..."K" was flying a jump bird `182 POS' at the drop zone that I was teaching at in school. The DZO had given him the job on my word alone, and was beginning to question his decision a couple weeks into the 'arrangement'. The Kaptain had his own way of doing things, and they weren't fitting into the regular flight ops of the DZ. He was known for doing wing overs, zero G exits, scenic LOW LEVEL tours of the towns near the airport... You know...PILOT stuff! The DZO started really watching the Tach Time when "K" was flying...they would constantly go back & fourth about what was 'safe', expedient, and cost effective in regards to the DZ and operating costs. It got to the point where the DZO made up a serries of operation check list / cheat sheets... Each to be followed TO THE LETTER!!! There was a page on how to tow-bar the bird out in the morning. Another on how to do the walk around and pre flight run up. How fast to climb, and where exactly to fly during that climb. Exit speeds, descending and landing procedures, fueling instructions....everything up to and including how to chock the wheels at the end of the day... "If ya can't do it my way..hit the highway" was the DZO's 'implied' message when he gave The Mighty Kaptain the list! It's early on a Sunday morning, I have a group of 1st timers PLFing off the mock up as we stop for a moment to watch the first load of the day depart with a group of 'up jumpers'. I kind of laugh to myself as I look over toward the hangar, and there stands the DZO with a stop watch in his hand...timing the climb! A good 45 minutes later we all look up to follow the plane on jump run, They're at around 10-5 and just as the four little dots can be seen behind the old 182...the thing seems to change flight direction 180 degrees in the blink of an eye...and seconds later the unnerving sound of an over revving prop finally reaches us on the ground. The sounds brings everyone out of the hangar, and we're all looking straight up as the noise continues... Takes a few...but soon we realize the aircraft is coming STRAIGHT DOWN! This was long before it was common to see a Porter in the back drop of a free fall video...so everyone is speechless, wondering what is happening. At around 500 feet, 1/2 mile from the end of the runway..the poor old bird is straining to stay together during the pull up maneuver it's being muscled through, just as everyone's jaw drops in amazement at THAT move....the plane is put into the MOST radical side slip I've even seen....before OR after. Damn near nose 90 degrees to the runway, it suddenly straightens out...bounces once and completes a landing to stop...ON THE NUMBERS! "I'm gonna KILL him" is the only thing heard, coming from the DZO...as the engine is shut down there on the end of the main runway, still sitting on the paint. Several of us hurriedly follow the Owner as he STOMPS across the landing area en route to surely disembowel the Kapt....at the very LEAST! When we get to the plane as a group, there sits my buddy..The Mighty Kaptain K ....unbuckled, on the floor, feet hanging out the door...EATING a sandwich! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!? K is 'politely' asked. "Waiting for further instructions," he calmly replied. ".....Page six says to return to the airport as fast as possible, but that's as far as I got....I think page seven blew out the door when I did the barrel roll after exit." The last we saw of the DZO that day, was him walking slowly toward his car mumbling something to himself about going back to selling insurance door to door.... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites beowulf 1 #462 December 19, 2005 I think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites markd_nscr986 0 #463 December 19, 2005 Thanks Airtwardo Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #464 December 19, 2005 QuoteI think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Yup! Airtwardo does it again! He has the best stories on this forum... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites klr 0 #465 December 19, 2005 Hi, not a scary story but different .... back when I started jumping in Ireland the whole operation was basically a drinking club interupted by the odd bout of near suicidal jumping when the clouds rarely lifted off the tree tops. Saturday nights were fairly legendary with what could only be described as heroic amounts of alcohol being drunk, we'd be in the bar by 4 p.m and stay there till we got kicked out then it was Avgas bonfires, home brew moonshine etc back at the DZ. It Usually ending up with people hitting the hay around 6 a.m. As a result of these liver damaging sprees Sunday morning jumping was kinda slow. After a few years of this the DZO, decided to try and get things going quicker on the Sunday by implementing a half price jump ticket for the first lift on the Sunday morning. A great idea in principle to get things moving in the morning, you would think. What he got was the real partygoers who'd had about 45 mins sleep & thought a good ole high lift would be just the thing to finish up on. I only ever did a couple of them ... the smell in the cramped C206 on the 24 minute ride to altitude was atrocious, even in the depths of winter we'd have half the door rolled up. On this particular lift we were dropping off a student at 4 grand to do a 3 second delay. So the pilot calls two minutes, everybody starts shuffling round to get a good view and the still plastered jumpmaster who was looking really green around the gills moves to the front of the door to dispatch the student. As the student edged in to the door I noticed the jumpmaster was starting to swallow profusely. As soon as the student was in the door she yelled 'cut and get the f**K out', no spotting no nothing, she could barely see the edge of the wing. However the student, who had gone to bed early was taking his time, he was going ot do this jump properly. He was going to get cleared for his 5 second delay. At this stage the jumpmaster was screaming at him to get his 'f**king skinny ass outa da plane' ... sensing there may be an issue the student finally exited. Just as the jumpmaster puked up about half a barrel of Guinness. Its not something you see everyday, A student in a perfect arch being follwed by chunks of undigested barbeque ribs in a raincloud of guinness. Anyway - the student deployed the canopy, just as the cloud of stale beer and food hit the centre top cell, lines, risers & student. He got pebbledashed - we could see him thrash around in the harness - it went down as far as his knees. So he had a rather aromatic 5 minutes piloting his manta down & we had about another 15 minutes with a retching jumpmaster. When our turn came to get out, our four way stumbled into position in the door, nobody noticed that the step was still somewhat covered in puke, I was rear float and was managing to hang on when the next lad out put one foot on the guinness coated step & slipped right off the plane. I'm not going to bother describing the rest of the jump - we didn't even get the four way together. With a perfect spot we all still managed to land way off and by the time we got back the student had left, forever, & the DZO was wondering why one of his student canopies smelled like a beermat. That was the last of the half pissed lifts ... All those boys are retired or dead now ... shame really. The place isin't the same. No more blindfold jumps, no more 'I swear that cloud is at 2 grand, c'mon lets bribe the pilot' 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites steve1 5 #466 December 19, 2005 If someone was "smart" they'd put all these stories together and sell them as a book. Most all skydivers would buy it, and maybe even a lot of "Woofos". Just a thought. I'd do it but I can't spell, and it sounds like work. But remember if any one does this, I get a cut for all the great stories I contributed. (I figure they ought to be worth at least 25 cents each.) Airtwardo should get the biggest share of the profit because his stories are the most entertaining of all. Bill Booth has a couple of great ones. And then there's all those other wonderful stories. It would be a shame to have all this history just disappear. Maybe this could be a job for Kallend. He's a lot smarter than most of us, and he's kind of a history buff already. But don't forget we all want our cut!....Steve1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jbrasher 0 #467 December 20, 2005 Look up Pat & Jan Works United We Fall. Red, White and Blue Skies, John T. Brasher D-5166 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bch7773 0 #468 December 20, 2005 great story klr. MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #469 December 20, 2005 Quotegreat story klr. no shit! (visualizing a trail of beer vomit following a student out the door) *snort* "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites daniel_owen_uk 0 #470 December 20, 2005 ROFLMAO thats superb, lost page 7 after the barrel roll, gotta love it __________________ BOOM Headshot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nitecap 0 #471 December 20, 2005 stories and photos from the 50's and60's in a book called the Falcon's Desciples by Howard Gregory. A lot of the pioneers with stories and photos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Beermonster 0 #472 December 20, 2005 A few years back, a jump was planned into a friend's wedding. Myself and the best man did a demo into a football game earlier in the day and headed back for the wedding jump. Packed the gear, woke the pilot and got airborne in good time. Normal run in and exit but the temptation to land in front of the marquee (and pretty girls) was too much so ignoring the huge field next door, I set up for a hook into the open area between the trees and in front of the young ladies. All went well until the actual moment I hooked it. Looking down on my intended landing area with my canopy blocking my view of it, I realised I was in a heap of painful trouble. Didn't remember much else after that. Eyewitnesses later informed me that after the first bounce I came by at about head height with blood spraying from eyes, nose, ears and mouth. The distance between the first crater and where I eventually came to rest was about thirty feet and if it hadn't rained for three days solid the week before, the general consensus was that I would have been the latest instrumentalist in the White Cloud Orchestra. The impact crater was about a foot deep and remains in the garden to this day. Anyhow, the bride had a brother who was in the medical profession and as the reception was at his house, all his medical friends were there as well. They managed to jumpstart me and got me loaded in an ambulance and off to the emergency room. Unfortunately, the bride arrived just as the ambulance was leaving with siren wailing. She was a pretty sensitive sort and had spent the morning crying so this wasn't doing her nerves any good at all. In the meantime, the best man had landed in the garden of the house next door. This particular home belonged to a lady who prided herself on her garden. she'd won prizes for the best garden in the suburb for a good number of years and the annual judging was about due again. The guy found himself in a flower bed and facing a large drooling Rottweiler with bad breath and a worse attitude. He grabbed his canopy, scrambled onto the dividing wall and proceeded to shuffle across to a point where he could hop down and join the party. While he was doing this, the Rottweiler was losing it below him as it rampaged through the garden, ripping up plants and generally kicking up a fuss. We'd flipped a coin earlier to see who'd be best man so being the loser in that respect made it unnecessary to frisk the body for the ring so the happy couple could get hitched. It came pretty close to having to follow a dog around with a bucket to recover the ring, though... Anyhow after a couple of botched escape attempts, I eventually made it out of the hospital and managed to call for rescue in time to have a few cold ones with the guys at the party. Not a great idea on top of concussion but it did dull the ache somewhat. Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites klr 0 #473 December 21, 2005 Hi, that type of stuff was par for the course back then - I was only starting when those guys were in their prime. I actually went to Cuba with that pilot & the jumpmaster .... theres quite a few residents there who won't ever forget the time we rented out a bi-plane in valladeros. For them rules were for other people. If you didn't get caught nothing happened. As for the hot coin incident in Bangkok & the other time he did a way way way too low level fly by his own house, the less said the better, I believe one of those incidents is still under investigation by the authorities. I think saying I jumped with these people is an exageration, we fell outa da plane together at roughly the same time .... and if we were very lucky we landed in the same county none of this accuracy sh1te ! rgds klr 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mjosparky 3 #474 December 21, 2005 Quote Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! If Dave called you an idiot you must have earned the name. He is bar none the toughest man I have ever known. SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Beermonster 0 #475 December 21, 2005 Sparky I reckon a low hook into a tight DZ while a huge open space is available a few feet away qualifies one for that. Just too old and broken to try something like that now... Another time, Andrelr, a poster on this forum and myself spent the evening getting close to a few beers. Well ratted, we decided to visit another skydiving buddy we knew was courting a young lady. Arriving at his place we discovered negotiations had reached a delicate point so, being in quite a good mood and in full voice we decided to serenade him and his young lady with a few skydiving ditties. It took about ten seconds for an angry, naked lunatic to appear in the doorway, brandishing a 9mm pistol and vowing to cut short our concert. Andre disappeared over the fence and being somewhat fuddled with ale and slightly disorientated, I headed for the back yard where Denton was able to herd me into the open and take pot shots at my scurrying form. With good luck rather than any degree of skill I managed to get to the driveway where Andre was revving up the getaway car and we beat a hasty retreat. Have to say that skydiving has provided more life changing experiences than most other things I've come across. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 Next Page 19 of 61 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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niu 0 #460 December 19, 2005 Hanging upside down under canopy used to be a favorite pastime of mine during the slow ride down in the days before the real hot canopies. This seemed to work well until the day I found myself suspended by the right release and my left hand at an altitude of about 800 feet,simply because the Classiflyer I jumped at the time did not have any housing on the left release cable. Add to that a very short part protruding through the loop and a thumb in the wrong place,and a one sided cutaway is a fact. Hanging on until landing was not an option,cut away and pulled the reserve just to have nothing much happen. Check the ripcord,both pins out. Elbow work and tilting over to the left fixed it,but the grass sure grows fast at such low altitudes,the reserve ride lasted 10 seconds or so. Reserve pilots that are fixed in place by the loops are a great invention. Same goes for cable housings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 6 #461 December 19, 2005 NEVER NEVER FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PILOT ! Your story brings to mind yet another adventure of "The Mighty Kaptain K" The 'Kaptain' as we called him, is the guy that took his FJC the same day I did, he had just returned home from Vietnam. We had known each other in high school...he was an 'all right' guy...little weird, but harmless. We became pretty good friends, jumping together all the time at the same little outlaw club where we started. He came to visit me in college...and NEVER LEFT! Used his GI Bill to further his flying credentials, eventually getting his double I multi and A&P... I'd flown with him often, even prior to his enrolling in school, he was a DANGEROUSLY good pilot. In other words...he has good skills, HUGE balls, and a seemingly endless amount of pure dumb luck. I could write stories about his exploits that would receive the 'That's Bullshit' reply from all those who didn't know him...but they're all true! On this occasion..."K" was flying a jump bird `182 POS' at the drop zone that I was teaching at in school. The DZO had given him the job on my word alone, and was beginning to question his decision a couple weeks into the 'arrangement'. The Kaptain had his own way of doing things, and they weren't fitting into the regular flight ops of the DZ. He was known for doing wing overs, zero G exits, scenic LOW LEVEL tours of the towns near the airport... You know...PILOT stuff! The DZO started really watching the Tach Time when "K" was flying...they would constantly go back & fourth about what was 'safe', expedient, and cost effective in regards to the DZ and operating costs. It got to the point where the DZO made up a serries of operation check list / cheat sheets... Each to be followed TO THE LETTER!!! There was a page on how to tow-bar the bird out in the morning. Another on how to do the walk around and pre flight run up. How fast to climb, and where exactly to fly during that climb. Exit speeds, descending and landing procedures, fueling instructions....everything up to and including how to chock the wheels at the end of the day... "If ya can't do it my way..hit the highway" was the DZO's 'implied' message when he gave The Mighty Kaptain the list! It's early on a Sunday morning, I have a group of 1st timers PLFing off the mock up as we stop for a moment to watch the first load of the day depart with a group of 'up jumpers'. I kind of laugh to myself as I look over toward the hangar, and there stands the DZO with a stop watch in his hand...timing the climb! A good 45 minutes later we all look up to follow the plane on jump run, They're at around 10-5 and just as the four little dots can be seen behind the old 182...the thing seems to change flight direction 180 degrees in the blink of an eye...and seconds later the unnerving sound of an over revving prop finally reaches us on the ground. The sounds brings everyone out of the hangar, and we're all looking straight up as the noise continues... Takes a few...but soon we realize the aircraft is coming STRAIGHT DOWN! This was long before it was common to see a Porter in the back drop of a free fall video...so everyone is speechless, wondering what is happening. At around 500 feet, 1/2 mile from the end of the runway..the poor old bird is straining to stay together during the pull up maneuver it's being muscled through, just as everyone's jaw drops in amazement at THAT move....the plane is put into the MOST radical side slip I've even seen....before OR after. Damn near nose 90 degrees to the runway, it suddenly straightens out...bounces once and completes a landing to stop...ON THE NUMBERS! "I'm gonna KILL him" is the only thing heard, coming from the DZO...as the engine is shut down there on the end of the main runway, still sitting on the paint. Several of us hurriedly follow the Owner as he STOMPS across the landing area en route to surely disembowel the Kapt....at the very LEAST! When we get to the plane as a group, there sits my buddy..The Mighty Kaptain K ....unbuckled, on the floor, feet hanging out the door...EATING a sandwich! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!? K is 'politely' asked. "Waiting for further instructions," he calmly replied. ".....Page six says to return to the airport as fast as possible, but that's as far as I got....I think page seven blew out the door when I did the barrel roll after exit." The last we saw of the DZO that day, was him walking slowly toward his car mumbling something to himself about going back to selling insurance door to door.... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites beowulf 1 #462 December 19, 2005 I think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites markd_nscr986 0 #463 December 19, 2005 Thanks Airtwardo Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #464 December 19, 2005 QuoteI think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Yup! Airtwardo does it again! He has the best stories on this forum... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites klr 0 #465 December 19, 2005 Hi, not a scary story but different .... back when I started jumping in Ireland the whole operation was basically a drinking club interupted by the odd bout of near suicidal jumping when the clouds rarely lifted off the tree tops. Saturday nights were fairly legendary with what could only be described as heroic amounts of alcohol being drunk, we'd be in the bar by 4 p.m and stay there till we got kicked out then it was Avgas bonfires, home brew moonshine etc back at the DZ. It Usually ending up with people hitting the hay around 6 a.m. As a result of these liver damaging sprees Sunday morning jumping was kinda slow. After a few years of this the DZO, decided to try and get things going quicker on the Sunday by implementing a half price jump ticket for the first lift on the Sunday morning. A great idea in principle to get things moving in the morning, you would think. What he got was the real partygoers who'd had about 45 mins sleep & thought a good ole high lift would be just the thing to finish up on. I only ever did a couple of them ... the smell in the cramped C206 on the 24 minute ride to altitude was atrocious, even in the depths of winter we'd have half the door rolled up. On this particular lift we were dropping off a student at 4 grand to do a 3 second delay. So the pilot calls two minutes, everybody starts shuffling round to get a good view and the still plastered jumpmaster who was looking really green around the gills moves to the front of the door to dispatch the student. As the student edged in to the door I noticed the jumpmaster was starting to swallow profusely. As soon as the student was in the door she yelled 'cut and get the f**K out', no spotting no nothing, she could barely see the edge of the wing. However the student, who had gone to bed early was taking his time, he was going ot do this jump properly. He was going to get cleared for his 5 second delay. At this stage the jumpmaster was screaming at him to get his 'f**king skinny ass outa da plane' ... sensing there may be an issue the student finally exited. Just as the jumpmaster puked up about half a barrel of Guinness. Its not something you see everyday, A student in a perfect arch being follwed by chunks of undigested barbeque ribs in a raincloud of guinness. Anyway - the student deployed the canopy, just as the cloud of stale beer and food hit the centre top cell, lines, risers & student. He got pebbledashed - we could see him thrash around in the harness - it went down as far as his knees. So he had a rather aromatic 5 minutes piloting his manta down & we had about another 15 minutes with a retching jumpmaster. When our turn came to get out, our four way stumbled into position in the door, nobody noticed that the step was still somewhat covered in puke, I was rear float and was managing to hang on when the next lad out put one foot on the guinness coated step & slipped right off the plane. I'm not going to bother describing the rest of the jump - we didn't even get the four way together. With a perfect spot we all still managed to land way off and by the time we got back the student had left, forever, & the DZO was wondering why one of his student canopies smelled like a beermat. That was the last of the half pissed lifts ... All those boys are retired or dead now ... shame really. The place isin't the same. No more blindfold jumps, no more 'I swear that cloud is at 2 grand, c'mon lets bribe the pilot' 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites steve1 5 #466 December 19, 2005 If someone was "smart" they'd put all these stories together and sell them as a book. Most all skydivers would buy it, and maybe even a lot of "Woofos". Just a thought. I'd do it but I can't spell, and it sounds like work. But remember if any one does this, I get a cut for all the great stories I contributed. (I figure they ought to be worth at least 25 cents each.) Airtwardo should get the biggest share of the profit because his stories are the most entertaining of all. Bill Booth has a couple of great ones. And then there's all those other wonderful stories. It would be a shame to have all this history just disappear. Maybe this could be a job for Kallend. He's a lot smarter than most of us, and he's kind of a history buff already. But don't forget we all want our cut!....Steve1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jbrasher 0 #467 December 20, 2005 Look up Pat & Jan Works United We Fall. Red, White and Blue Skies, John T. Brasher D-5166 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bch7773 0 #468 December 20, 2005 great story klr. MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #469 December 20, 2005 Quotegreat story klr. no shit! (visualizing a trail of beer vomit following a student out the door) *snort* "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites daniel_owen_uk 0 #470 December 20, 2005 ROFLMAO thats superb, lost page 7 after the barrel roll, gotta love it __________________ BOOM Headshot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites nitecap 0 #471 December 20, 2005 stories and photos from the 50's and60's in a book called the Falcon's Desciples by Howard Gregory. A lot of the pioneers with stories and photos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Beermonster 0 #472 December 20, 2005 A few years back, a jump was planned into a friend's wedding. Myself and the best man did a demo into a football game earlier in the day and headed back for the wedding jump. Packed the gear, woke the pilot and got airborne in good time. Normal run in and exit but the temptation to land in front of the marquee (and pretty girls) was too much so ignoring the huge field next door, I set up for a hook into the open area between the trees and in front of the young ladies. All went well until the actual moment I hooked it. Looking down on my intended landing area with my canopy blocking my view of it, I realised I was in a heap of painful trouble. Didn't remember much else after that. Eyewitnesses later informed me that after the first bounce I came by at about head height with blood spraying from eyes, nose, ears and mouth. The distance between the first crater and where I eventually came to rest was about thirty feet and if it hadn't rained for three days solid the week before, the general consensus was that I would have been the latest instrumentalist in the White Cloud Orchestra. The impact crater was about a foot deep and remains in the garden to this day. Anyhow, the bride had a brother who was in the medical profession and as the reception was at his house, all his medical friends were there as well. They managed to jumpstart me and got me loaded in an ambulance and off to the emergency room. Unfortunately, the bride arrived just as the ambulance was leaving with siren wailing. She was a pretty sensitive sort and had spent the morning crying so this wasn't doing her nerves any good at all. In the meantime, the best man had landed in the garden of the house next door. This particular home belonged to a lady who prided herself on her garden. she'd won prizes for the best garden in the suburb for a good number of years and the annual judging was about due again. The guy found himself in a flower bed and facing a large drooling Rottweiler with bad breath and a worse attitude. He grabbed his canopy, scrambled onto the dividing wall and proceeded to shuffle across to a point where he could hop down and join the party. While he was doing this, the Rottweiler was losing it below him as it rampaged through the garden, ripping up plants and generally kicking up a fuss. We'd flipped a coin earlier to see who'd be best man so being the loser in that respect made it unnecessary to frisk the body for the ring so the happy couple could get hitched. It came pretty close to having to follow a dog around with a bucket to recover the ring, though... Anyhow after a couple of botched escape attempts, I eventually made it out of the hospital and managed to call for rescue in time to have a few cold ones with the guys at the party. Not a great idea on top of concussion but it did dull the ache somewhat. Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites klr 0 #473 December 21, 2005 Hi, that type of stuff was par for the course back then - I was only starting when those guys were in their prime. I actually went to Cuba with that pilot & the jumpmaster .... theres quite a few residents there who won't ever forget the time we rented out a bi-plane in valladeros. For them rules were for other people. If you didn't get caught nothing happened. As for the hot coin incident in Bangkok & the other time he did a way way way too low level fly by his own house, the less said the better, I believe one of those incidents is still under investigation by the authorities. I think saying I jumped with these people is an exageration, we fell outa da plane together at roughly the same time .... and if we were very lucky we landed in the same county none of this accuracy sh1te ! rgds klr 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mjosparky 3 #474 December 21, 2005 Quote Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! If Dave called you an idiot you must have earned the name. He is bar none the toughest man I have ever known. SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Beermonster 0 #475 December 21, 2005 Sparky I reckon a low hook into a tight DZ while a huge open space is available a few feet away qualifies one for that. Just too old and broken to try something like that now... Another time, Andrelr, a poster on this forum and myself spent the evening getting close to a few beers. Well ratted, we decided to visit another skydiving buddy we knew was courting a young lady. Arriving at his place we discovered negotiations had reached a delicate point so, being in quite a good mood and in full voice we decided to serenade him and his young lady with a few skydiving ditties. It took about ten seconds for an angry, naked lunatic to appear in the doorway, brandishing a 9mm pistol and vowing to cut short our concert. Andre disappeared over the fence and being somewhat fuddled with ale and slightly disorientated, I headed for the back yard where Denton was able to herd me into the open and take pot shots at my scurrying form. With good luck rather than any degree of skill I managed to get to the driveway where Andre was revving up the getaway car and we beat a hasty retreat. Have to say that skydiving has provided more life changing experiences than most other things I've come across. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 Next Page 19 of 61 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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airtwardo 6 #461 December 19, 2005 NEVER NEVER FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PILOT ! Your story brings to mind yet another adventure of "The Mighty Kaptain K" The 'Kaptain' as we called him, is the guy that took his FJC the same day I did, he had just returned home from Vietnam. We had known each other in high school...he was an 'all right' guy...little weird, but harmless. We became pretty good friends, jumping together all the time at the same little outlaw club where we started. He came to visit me in college...and NEVER LEFT! Used his GI Bill to further his flying credentials, eventually getting his double I multi and A&P... I'd flown with him often, even prior to his enrolling in school, he was a DANGEROUSLY good pilot. In other words...he has good skills, HUGE balls, and a seemingly endless amount of pure dumb luck. I could write stories about his exploits that would receive the 'That's Bullshit' reply from all those who didn't know him...but they're all true! On this occasion..."K" was flying a jump bird `182 POS' at the drop zone that I was teaching at in school. The DZO had given him the job on my word alone, and was beginning to question his decision a couple weeks into the 'arrangement'. The Kaptain had his own way of doing things, and they weren't fitting into the regular flight ops of the DZ. He was known for doing wing overs, zero G exits, scenic LOW LEVEL tours of the towns near the airport... You know...PILOT stuff! The DZO started really watching the Tach Time when "K" was flying...they would constantly go back & fourth about what was 'safe', expedient, and cost effective in regards to the DZ and operating costs. It got to the point where the DZO made up a serries of operation check list / cheat sheets... Each to be followed TO THE LETTER!!! There was a page on how to tow-bar the bird out in the morning. Another on how to do the walk around and pre flight run up. How fast to climb, and where exactly to fly during that climb. Exit speeds, descending and landing procedures, fueling instructions....everything up to and including how to chock the wheels at the end of the day... "If ya can't do it my way..hit the highway" was the DZO's 'implied' message when he gave The Mighty Kaptain the list! It's early on a Sunday morning, I have a group of 1st timers PLFing off the mock up as we stop for a moment to watch the first load of the day depart with a group of 'up jumpers'. I kind of laugh to myself as I look over toward the hangar, and there stands the DZO with a stop watch in his hand...timing the climb! A good 45 minutes later we all look up to follow the plane on jump run, They're at around 10-5 and just as the four little dots can be seen behind the old 182...the thing seems to change flight direction 180 degrees in the blink of an eye...and seconds later the unnerving sound of an over revving prop finally reaches us on the ground. The sounds brings everyone out of the hangar, and we're all looking straight up as the noise continues... Takes a few...but soon we realize the aircraft is coming STRAIGHT DOWN! This was long before it was common to see a Porter in the back drop of a free fall video...so everyone is speechless, wondering what is happening. At around 500 feet, 1/2 mile from the end of the runway..the poor old bird is straining to stay together during the pull up maneuver it's being muscled through, just as everyone's jaw drops in amazement at THAT move....the plane is put into the MOST radical side slip I've even seen....before OR after. Damn near nose 90 degrees to the runway, it suddenly straightens out...bounces once and completes a landing to stop...ON THE NUMBERS! "I'm gonna KILL him" is the only thing heard, coming from the DZO...as the engine is shut down there on the end of the main runway, still sitting on the paint. Several of us hurriedly follow the Owner as he STOMPS across the landing area en route to surely disembowel the Kapt....at the very LEAST! When we get to the plane as a group, there sits my buddy..The Mighty Kaptain K ....unbuckled, on the floor, feet hanging out the door...EATING a sandwich! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!? K is 'politely' asked. "Waiting for further instructions," he calmly replied. ".....Page six says to return to the airport as fast as possible, but that's as far as I got....I think page seven blew out the door when I did the barrel roll after exit." The last we saw of the DZO that day, was him walking slowly toward his car mumbling something to himself about going back to selling insurance door to door.... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beowulf 1 #462 December 19, 2005 I think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #463 December 19, 2005 Thanks Airtwardo Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #464 December 19, 2005 QuoteI think I am going to bust a gut. That is too funny. Yup! Airtwardo does it again! He has the best stories on this forum... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
klr 0 #465 December 19, 2005 Hi, not a scary story but different .... back when I started jumping in Ireland the whole operation was basically a drinking club interupted by the odd bout of near suicidal jumping when the clouds rarely lifted off the tree tops. Saturday nights were fairly legendary with what could only be described as heroic amounts of alcohol being drunk, we'd be in the bar by 4 p.m and stay there till we got kicked out then it was Avgas bonfires, home brew moonshine etc back at the DZ. It Usually ending up with people hitting the hay around 6 a.m. As a result of these liver damaging sprees Sunday morning jumping was kinda slow. After a few years of this the DZO, decided to try and get things going quicker on the Sunday by implementing a half price jump ticket for the first lift on the Sunday morning. A great idea in principle to get things moving in the morning, you would think. What he got was the real partygoers who'd had about 45 mins sleep & thought a good ole high lift would be just the thing to finish up on. I only ever did a couple of them ... the smell in the cramped C206 on the 24 minute ride to altitude was atrocious, even in the depths of winter we'd have half the door rolled up. On this particular lift we were dropping off a student at 4 grand to do a 3 second delay. So the pilot calls two minutes, everybody starts shuffling round to get a good view and the still plastered jumpmaster who was looking really green around the gills moves to the front of the door to dispatch the student. As the student edged in to the door I noticed the jumpmaster was starting to swallow profusely. As soon as the student was in the door she yelled 'cut and get the f**K out', no spotting no nothing, she could barely see the edge of the wing. However the student, who had gone to bed early was taking his time, he was going ot do this jump properly. He was going to get cleared for his 5 second delay. At this stage the jumpmaster was screaming at him to get his 'f**king skinny ass outa da plane' ... sensing there may be an issue the student finally exited. Just as the jumpmaster puked up about half a barrel of Guinness. Its not something you see everyday, A student in a perfect arch being follwed by chunks of undigested barbeque ribs in a raincloud of guinness. Anyway - the student deployed the canopy, just as the cloud of stale beer and food hit the centre top cell, lines, risers & student. He got pebbledashed - we could see him thrash around in the harness - it went down as far as his knees. So he had a rather aromatic 5 minutes piloting his manta down & we had about another 15 minutes with a retching jumpmaster. When our turn came to get out, our four way stumbled into position in the door, nobody noticed that the step was still somewhat covered in puke, I was rear float and was managing to hang on when the next lad out put one foot on the guinness coated step & slipped right off the plane. I'm not going to bother describing the rest of the jump - we didn't even get the four way together. With a perfect spot we all still managed to land way off and by the time we got back the student had left, forever, & the DZO was wondering why one of his student canopies smelled like a beermat. That was the last of the half pissed lifts ... All those boys are retired or dead now ... shame really. The place isin't the same. No more blindfold jumps, no more 'I swear that cloud is at 2 grand, c'mon lets bribe the pilot' 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #466 December 19, 2005 If someone was "smart" they'd put all these stories together and sell them as a book. Most all skydivers would buy it, and maybe even a lot of "Woofos". Just a thought. I'd do it but I can't spell, and it sounds like work. But remember if any one does this, I get a cut for all the great stories I contributed. (I figure they ought to be worth at least 25 cents each.) Airtwardo should get the biggest share of the profit because his stories are the most entertaining of all. Bill Booth has a couple of great ones. And then there's all those other wonderful stories. It would be a shame to have all this history just disappear. Maybe this could be a job for Kallend. He's a lot smarter than most of us, and he's kind of a history buff already. But don't forget we all want our cut!....Steve1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrasher 0 #467 December 20, 2005 Look up Pat & Jan Works United We Fall. Red, White and Blue Skies, John T. Brasher D-5166 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bch7773 0 #468 December 20, 2005 great story klr. MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #469 December 20, 2005 Quotegreat story klr. no shit! (visualizing a trail of beer vomit following a student out the door) *snort* "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
daniel_owen_uk 0 #470 December 20, 2005 ROFLMAO thats superb, lost page 7 after the barrel roll, gotta love it __________________ BOOM Headshot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nitecap 0 #471 December 20, 2005 stories and photos from the 50's and60's in a book called the Falcon's Desciples by Howard Gregory. A lot of the pioneers with stories and photos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beermonster 0 #472 December 20, 2005 A few years back, a jump was planned into a friend's wedding. Myself and the best man did a demo into a football game earlier in the day and headed back for the wedding jump. Packed the gear, woke the pilot and got airborne in good time. Normal run in and exit but the temptation to land in front of the marquee (and pretty girls) was too much so ignoring the huge field next door, I set up for a hook into the open area between the trees and in front of the young ladies. All went well until the actual moment I hooked it. Looking down on my intended landing area with my canopy blocking my view of it, I realised I was in a heap of painful trouble. Didn't remember much else after that. Eyewitnesses later informed me that after the first bounce I came by at about head height with blood spraying from eyes, nose, ears and mouth. The distance between the first crater and where I eventually came to rest was about thirty feet and if it hadn't rained for three days solid the week before, the general consensus was that I would have been the latest instrumentalist in the White Cloud Orchestra. The impact crater was about a foot deep and remains in the garden to this day. Anyhow, the bride had a brother who was in the medical profession and as the reception was at his house, all his medical friends were there as well. They managed to jumpstart me and got me loaded in an ambulance and off to the emergency room. Unfortunately, the bride arrived just as the ambulance was leaving with siren wailing. She was a pretty sensitive sort and had spent the morning crying so this wasn't doing her nerves any good at all. In the meantime, the best man had landed in the garden of the house next door. This particular home belonged to a lady who prided herself on her garden. she'd won prizes for the best garden in the suburb for a good number of years and the annual judging was about due again. The guy found himself in a flower bed and facing a large drooling Rottweiler with bad breath and a worse attitude. He grabbed his canopy, scrambled onto the dividing wall and proceeded to shuffle across to a point where he could hop down and join the party. While he was doing this, the Rottweiler was losing it below him as it rampaged through the garden, ripping up plants and generally kicking up a fuss. We'd flipped a coin earlier to see who'd be best man so being the loser in that respect made it unnecessary to frisk the body for the ring so the happy couple could get hitched. It came pretty close to having to follow a dog around with a bucket to recover the ring, though... Anyhow after a couple of botched escape attempts, I eventually made it out of the hospital and managed to call for rescue in time to have a few cold ones with the guys at the party. Not a great idea on top of concussion but it did dull the ache somewhat. Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
klr 0 #473 December 21, 2005 Hi, that type of stuff was par for the course back then - I was only starting when those guys were in their prime. I actually went to Cuba with that pilot & the jumpmaster .... theres quite a few residents there who won't ever forget the time we rented out a bi-plane in valladeros. For them rules were for other people. If you didn't get caught nothing happened. As for the hot coin incident in Bangkok & the other time he did a way way way too low level fly by his own house, the less said the better, I believe one of those incidents is still under investigation by the authorities. I think saying I jumped with these people is an exageration, we fell outa da plane together at roughly the same time .... and if we were very lucky we landed in the same county none of this accuracy sh1te ! rgds klr 'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 3 #474 December 21, 2005 Quote Last thing I recall before passing out was Dave Barr shaking his head and calling me a freakin' idiot! If Dave called you an idiot you must have earned the name. He is bar none the toughest man I have ever known. SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beermonster 0 #475 December 21, 2005 Sparky I reckon a low hook into a tight DZ while a huge open space is available a few feet away qualifies one for that. Just too old and broken to try something like that now... Another time, Andrelr, a poster on this forum and myself spent the evening getting close to a few beers. Well ratted, we decided to visit another skydiving buddy we knew was courting a young lady. Arriving at his place we discovered negotiations had reached a delicate point so, being in quite a good mood and in full voice we decided to serenade him and his young lady with a few skydiving ditties. It took about ten seconds for an angry, naked lunatic to appear in the doorway, brandishing a 9mm pistol and vowing to cut short our concert. Andre disappeared over the fence and being somewhat fuddled with ale and slightly disorientated, I headed for the back yard where Denton was able to herd me into the open and take pot shots at my scurrying form. With good luck rather than any degree of skill I managed to get to the driveway where Andre was revving up the getaway car and we beat a hasty retreat. Have to say that skydiving has provided more life changing experiences than most other things I've come across. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
