Have you discussed skydiving with your family/friends in the event of an accident?

[Chris-Ottawa 0]

I'm curious to know how many people have talked with their families about what they do and the risks and realities involved. I would exlain here but I think Tom Aiello put it best in one of his articles:

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Tell Your Family

It is the responsibility of every BASE jumper to tell their family that they are involved in BASE, that they understand the risks, and that they have chosen to take those risks.

Sit down with your family and talk to them about BASE. This is obviously an extremely difficult proposition. Facing your family with your decision to engage in a life-threatening activity cannot be easy. However this discussion is important both for you and for the sport of BASE jumping.

An honest, open discussion with your loved ones will make them feel more included in your decisions. They will generally be more impressed with the maturity and thought that has gone into your decision to jump. This can help avoid the arguments, tantrums, and guilt trips that might otherwise be thrown at you by family and friends who don't understand your activities.

An explanation, by you, that you understand and accept the risks involved, will help prevent your family from attacking other members of the BASE community in the event of your injury or death. There have been far too many cases of the families of dead jumpers accusing, confronting, suing and even prosecuting other jumpers as a result of fatalities. Don't let this happen to your friends.

Write a letter to your friends and family, to be opened in the event that you die BASE jumping. In the letter, explain why you have chosen to take up BASE, what you hope to get from BASE jumping, and why you are willing to risk death for it. Give sealed copies to (at the very least) your family and your BASE mentor. Do this to defuse any conflicts that might arise from your death.

Here's the whole document:

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/safety/detail_page.cgi?ID=64

I know the article has to do with BASE jumping, but it has 100% relevance to skydiving. Please comment!!!

Chris

"When once you have tasted flight..."

[Armour666 0]

My mom is not the most enthused about it eave more now that my sister wants to get involved. But I told her I have my life and it makes me happy. Fortunately she’s left it at that and doesn’t push the issue.

My wife on the other hand was more then understanding; she understands and accepts the risks and reality of it. She said that’s who you are if you weren’t doing those things you wouldn’t be happy and that wouldn’t be the person I married. I have my best friend listed for the emergency contact as she gets worked up pretty easy.

SO this one time at band camp.....

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

[Reginald 0]

I've relayed my wishes to both my family and friends in both the case of a fatality or a serious life changing accident.

"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

[normiss 640]

This is awesome...albeit sad it took another tragedy to get some of us thinking about it.
I voted no...
I've only been in this sport for just over three years now..and until I saw the discussions like this...hadn't really thought about it MY BAD!!!
In fact, my mom has always been my emergency contact on so many things...I seem to put her down out of habit!
That will change this weekend...and the talk with the family will happen this weekend too.
I think I'll put mine in writing too...given the probate issues I've seen and experienced in Florida.
I urge the others who haven't done this to seriously consider it.
Tragic death or injury is hard enough on those around us...without adding to it!

[beowulf 1]

Nope haven't talked to anyone about me dying. I really don't care what happens to me or any of my possesions after I die. I don't have any major assets at all. I have no wife or children. My parents are lucky I even call them once every few months or less. I visit them once a year maybe. The only family member that I am somewhat close to is my brother. I talk to him every couple of weeks.

I don't think my death would have much of an impact on very many people.

[Chris-Ottawa 0]

I find that hard to believe. You may think that but I guarantee that your family feels different. Even if you were the outcast in your family and never once talked to your parent's since you moved out, I GUARANTEE they would still deeply miss more than you could imagine.

I think that's terrible that you feel that way, but it's none of my business anyways. I feel sorry for your family and friends.

The day I went for my Tandem, I talked to my parents on the drive up and they were happy, and slightly scared. My friend who also did a tandem, didn't tell his parents because they wouldn't let him go. Now, if he had died, I am willing to bet that they would have sued. (He actually had a cutaway which I have on video, that he could never share with his parents). To this day they have no idea.

This past Sunday I had my first cutaway and I felt the need to call my family and let them know that I was ok. My mom's question to me: Are you sure you want to keep doing this?, I replied yes, and she said, ok as long as you're as safe as possible.

I can only hope more people communicate with their families about what they do. If you don't care, that's great, but that's why we have DZ's getting sued. Mis-informed families. It's not just for you, it's for the preservation of the sport.

Chris

"When once you have tasted flight..."

[beowulf 1]

What I mean by impact is that there is no one that I financially support. So in that respect my death wouldn't adversely affect any one. I am sure there will be plenty of sad people at my funeral. Although that may not be the case depending on where the funeral would be held. I guess my body would probably be shipped to Illinois, as I am the only member of my family here in Texas. That would probably exclude many of the people here from going to my funeral. I hadn't really put much thought in to it. My mom favors cremation. So I guess I would be creamated here and transported to Illinois. It really doesn't matter to me.

[Chris-Ottawa 0]

Ok that makes more sense. The way I read it was that you don't give a damn, and everyone else can go to hell. I was shocked that someone could care that little. I understand now, thanks for the clarification.

"When once you have tasted flight..."

[psipike02 0]

I've definately talked to my dad and step mom about it. When I saw Mariann go in a few weeks ago, I called my dad to talk about it as I was still kind of in shock myself.

I've told them how I feel and that one day something may happen, and have relayed how I felt and that i love them and know that even though its a dangerous sport, its something I'm passionate about and enjoy doing and I try to take every precaution in being as safe as possible on every jump while still having fun.

My mom on the other hand. She's a little different. She is just now getting to the point where she will ask me about skydiving and how my jumps are going and I'll tell her about them. She's not ready to handle me talking about if something should happen to me yet. She's made progress this far.

Will I talk to her about it soon....Most definately, but just not now. She's not ready to handle that conversation yet.

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[Chris-Ottawa 0]

I'm pretty shocked to see how many people don't talk to their families about what they are doing. It's running around 25% right now.

That is pretty shocking. I can understand now why families would be inclined to sue. If my parents had no idea, I wouldn't blame them for suing the A/C manufacturer or the DZ or anyone. There's only one person to blame and that would be myself.

Alot of people have too much of an attitude of "it can't happen to me". You're wrong, it can definately happen to you. I think alot of people are involved in this sport without fully realizing the consequences. I don't try to convince myself that it's more dangerous to scuba dive/drive my car/get hit by lightning etc.

Just this last weekend, I had a mal and my first reserve ride, my cameraman for that jump had a broken femur when I reached the ground. It really hit home and made things sink in about what I do on weekends. You have no idea until you're involved or know someone very close that gets involved.


DON'T WAIT TO HAVE REGRETS, TALK TO YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS/LOVED ONES. Turn off your ego and think about what you're putting your family through.

"When once you have tasted flight..."

[Tink1717 2]

I was wondering if there was anyone else out there that is in the same situation as me. My parents are both dead and my brother has his own family and we weren't that close to begin with. Just nice to know that there are others like me.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[normiss 640]

Don't be shocked...this thread will get a lot of people thinking. It did me!

Some of friends tell their family NOTHING of this sport because they don't want to scare them.

It is the individuals choice after all.

[Reginald 0]

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I don't think my death would have much of an impact on very many people.

Oh come on Robert. Your skydiving friends would miss you for at least a week.

"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

[beowulf 1]

damn I was estimating 2 weeks

[BIGUN 1,100]

Yes. And, after the ash dive, you fuckers better enjoy the kegs, party your asses off, and celebrate my life. If the big man took me tomorrow, all I could say is, "Thank you." Thank you for the opportunity and thank you for the friends.

"Woodrow, it's been a helluva life."
-Lonesome Dove

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[Armour666 0]

I still have my insurance coverage from when I was in the military wich covers skydiving. So I told my wife and it in my will, she can do what every she wants with my ass but thers 5G's for one hell of a wake!!!

I talked to her about it and she wouldn't sue if anything happens and is aware of the risks I chose to take. She feels she would be taken care of finicaly so she wouldnt want to destroy some one eilse life due to my own choice and to the usual shit some times just happens.

SO this one time at band camp.....

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

[MagicGuy 0]

I told my Mom that I was planning to go for a tandem skydive a year ago. Her only wish was that I not tell her what day that I am going because she would be a nervous wreck. I kept her wish, called her when I landed and told her all about it.

I have since done another tandem and completed AFF. My Mom still doesn't want to know when I'm going jumping, but I have explained a lot about the sport to her, including safety precautions, and of course how much I love skydiving. Like another poster (sorry dude, forgot your name) said, she's starting to warm up to the idea of me jumping.. but she's not ready for the "what if something happens" talk quite yet. But it will happen eventually.

I also agree to the fact that I don't think a lot of people in this sport realize the risks. I myself am guilty of it. But I am quite aware that things can and do happen, even when everything is done right. I love this sport so much. All I can do is take every safety precaution there is to ensure the safest jump possible. And that I will do.

[MarkM 0]

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I'm pretty shocked to see how many people don't talk to their families about what they are doing. It's running around 25% right now.

While my family knows I skydive I never had any sort of "talk" about it. It's sort of pointless, they know it's dangerous. My sister works with show horses... my brother rides a motorcycle all the time... my uncle was a Sheriff... my family pretty much just accepts that life in general is dangerous.

And when one member of the family dies, we mourn and move on.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

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I'm pretty shocked to see how many people don't talk to their families about what they are doing. It's running around 25% right now.

While my family knows I skydive I never had any sort of "talk" about it. It's sort of pointless, they know it's dangerous. My sister works with show horses... my brother rides a motorcycle all the time... my uncle was a Sheriff... my family pretty much just accepts that life in general is dangerous.

And when one member of the family dies, we mourn and move on.

Missed you at dinner tonight...but saw this and felt sad....your family just mourns a short bit and "moves on"?

My fam is really really close...and when my grandma Emily passed on April Fools Day..she planned it that way since she was a jokester (used to tape the sprayer on the kitchen sink down on April fools day so we'd get sprayed in the face when we would use the sink)...we still grieve the loss of her...Shannon, Conway, Mark...and many others...they are so much n my heart and on my mind...so the comment of "moving on" ...I just can't relate.

Back to the point of this thread, my family and close friends know my wishes if something happens be it skydiving or non-skydiving...so yes it has been discussed. My mom is okay with me sharing the details and my dad gets kinda sick to his stomach with the notion that his daughter might go before him so he isn't as okay with the talk...brother is kinda weird like that too...so that's why my waivers have my mom's #s and contact info.

_________________________________________

[Frenchy68 0]

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I think alot of people are involved in this sport without fully realizing the consequences

I don't know about realizing, but truly inderstanding, I'd say pretty much no one.
The only people I can think of who truly understand the consequences of things going wrong are either
a/ dead
b/ eating out of tubes and pissing into a bag

But we still go right back up and jump nontheless...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[ladyskydiver 0]

My family knows that if I were to go in while skydiving, absolutely no suing - anything that I'm worth at that point would be split between the DZ they are suing and one of my favorite animal shelters. Ash dive - no grave...no place to mourn. And one hell of a party. Remember me when I was alive and full of life...not the end.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[hongkongluna 0]

I was really affected by Tom Aiello's post and also saw the obvious direct relevance to skydiving. My family & friends wouldnt think BASE was any different anyway, all they would see was that a parachute was involved. In fact, when i mention canopy instead of parachute they think i've switched to talking about camping & tents or something.

I did exactly what he wrote about & gave a few people, some in my family, sealed letters to be opened in the event of my death from skydiving & i also spoke to them about it. I also left a sealed copy in my glove compartment, just in case.

My family & friends are aware that i skydive and that i'm aware of the risks of death & serious injury. They are aware of my wishes if one of these should happen.

Interestingly enough, the conversation doesnt make them approve but at least the cards are on the table & they know i'm serious. When they hear that i'm taking a canopy control course & getting coaching, those things also tend to put them at ease a little bit.

-Rainier

Sparks Brother #1 // "I vaguely heard someone yell "wait!" but by that point i was out the door." Quote from dz.com somewhere

[Bradley77 0]

Both my parents have passed on but I do have a sister. The thought of looking down from a plane gives her the hebeegebees (sp). When I did my first/second static line 27 years ago I called my mom after I landed...she got upset that I didn't tell her I was going to jump in the first place.

Now that I have started jumping again it is only my sister. She is not thrilled with it and would rather not hear too much about it. My friends at work on the other hand want me to put them in my will so they can get my plasma TV, motorcycle, truck, etc....are they really my friends....lol?

I've only jumped 8 times so far so I'm not sure about the dangers...well I know what could happen of course. I've already had a line twist under canopy (1+ revolution) on my release dive (AFF3). Plus I saw an AFF 1 student who didn't flare on landing! He was bruised up but nothing broken....but man, it sure as heck did not look good as he bounced about a foot in the air after his body first hit the ground!

Damn, this is fun!

[DottieBear 0]

I've talked about it at length with my mom. When I started getting very into the sport, I told her how I studied the old fatalities so I could learn from mistakes, explained to her all the actions taken to try and prevent injury(e.p's, wing loading, coaching, etc etc), and also have a deal with her that I call her after every day of sky diving to let her know I am ok.

I have had a living will since I turned 20 and lost someone young and unexpectedly. it made me realize that you never know what will happen, and I wanted to make sure that things were carried out as I wished. When I started skydiving, I added to that a clause which stated that no legal action was to be taken against the dz, the instructors, the manufacturing companies, or anyone at all associated with skydiving in the event of an accident.

My mom feels much better knowing that I am aware of the risks and, as such, am doing everything in my power to aviod them! My dad and sister on the other hand.....well, let's just say I don't tell them as much ;)

I must confess tho...I do not talk to my family about skydiving accidents. Only among my skydiving friends do I discuss such things.

~Dottie

“Everything looks perfect from far away.”
Postal Service, Such Great Heights

[Eule 0]

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I'm curious to know how many people have talked with their families about what they do and the risks and realities involved.

I have. Two weeks after I started jumping, I also made up a legally binding will. I have the will, a letter stating my wishes, and a copy of the waiver I signed at the local DZ in an envelope in my office. The envelope is in a tolerably obvious spot, but I haven't directed anyone specifically to look for it. This is partly because I feel that it's likely that if I tell the other half where it is, it will get opened and read immediately (even though nothing has happened to me), and that might be too much to take.

I have considered setting up a "deadman switch" on my computer - if I don't log in and reset it every X days, it sends out an email - but I haven't done it. Part of the problem is that X needs to be reasonably small, so if something bad does happen, people can learn of my wishes relatively quickly. But it needs to be large enough that if, for example, I have an unplanned overnight stay at the DZ, it doesn't go off and send out an email that freaks everyone out.

I'm pretty sure the last time I talked to my folks was before the plane crash at Quantum Leap, and I'm pretty sure they will have seen it on the news as they also live in Missouri. I am anticipating some discussion about that crash and jumping in general the next time we talk.

Eule

PLF does not stand for Please Land on Face.