fonz 0 #1 January 22, 2002 Look what I just found in my mailbox:> From [email protected] Tue Jan 22 13:01:06 2002> Return-Path: [unimportant headers snipped]> Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 05:55:07 -0700> Message-Id: <[email protected]>> To: [email protected]> Cc:> From: "Samuel" > Subject: Hello>> I am Eng. Samuel Uzo, Director for Project Evaluation of the Nigerian National> Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). I have US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen Million> US Dollars) credit which I will like to invest (with my colleague) abroad.> > This fund is an over-invoiced contract credit in our favour. Contract projects> were awarded to numerous foreign Contractors to administered Maintenance> Services in our Petroleum Refineries at Port Harcourt, Warri and Kaduna. We inflected> the contract credits to the total of US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen Million US Dollars).> Payment Voucher has been prepared to settle the cost of the contracts; hence I> seek your consent to receive the over-invoiced fund (US$17 Million) into your> personal, company or any reliable foreign bank accounts within or outside your> country as one the Contractors. I will provide you with the Contractual Documents to> cover any question that may arise and certify you the beneficiary of the fund> (US$17M).> > We agreed to gratefully grant you some percentage of the money if you so desire,> but it is our profound wish to have a long-standing relationship with you as a> Shareholder/Partner towards to the investments we wish to use this money for. Upon> your consent to do this transaction with us, please furnish me with your direct > telephone/fax numbers and your full names and address (personal or corporate)> for effective processing of the payment; your nature business or profession does not> matter. I envisage concluding this transaction within 14 working days from the date> I will receive your response. Please, treat this transaction as confidential.> > I await your response at contact_samueluzo@yahoo.com> > Best regards,> > Eng. Samuel Uzo> Block 6, Apt. 15, 5th Avenue> Federal Housing Estate Festac Lagos.> Tel/fax: +234 803 3041 783Now I've have my share of spam over the years, but this one still manages to amaze meAlphonshttp://www.liacs.nl/~avwerven/skydive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 January 22, 2002 I got a great one the other day promising to "increase ejaculation by 581%." I wonder if that's just an arbitary number they pulled out of their ass or what. Still cracked me up, though.Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.-General George Patton- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #3 January 22, 2002 It doesn't amaze me. What amazes me is that suckers will fall for it. Justin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fonz 0 #4 January 22, 2002 Quote"increase ejaculation by 581%."ROTFLMAO!QuoteI wonder if that's just an arbitary number they pulled out of their ass or what.I don't even wanna know where they got the number from Did they mention the downside too? I bet you it'll make your balls heavier by quite a bit...Alphonshttp://www.liacs.nl/~avwerven/skydive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #5 January 22, 2002 Quoteincrease ejaculation by 581%------------------------------------------I don't even wanna know where they got the number from Ask Clay. Justin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #6 January 22, 2002 I responded to one of those emails and my penis still has not increased by 3 inches. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fonz 0 #7 January 22, 2002 QuoteAsk Clay.If the answer involves sheep and/or squirrels, I think I'm gonna barf! Alphonshttp://www.liacs.nl/~avwerven/skydive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fonz 0 #8 January 22, 2002 Quotemy penis still has not increased by 3 inches.Gee. I'll bet you that means I don't get those US$17M eitherAlphonshttp://www.liacs.nl/~avwerven/skydive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prost 0 #9 January 22, 2002 Yeah sorry but I Think they just want your account number and info so they can steal from you.William Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma 0 #10 January 22, 2002 uh...yeh.The terrifying thing is: these people wouldn't keep sending spam if it didn't work...Just a very small %, but it does.God, if I get another email asking me if I want to watch 'Buffy ride hard cock'......man. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayhfx 0 #11 January 22, 2002 That email has been around for quite some time. Its always based out of nigeria and worded pretty much the same way. They say that it has generated millions and duped many.Crazy, oh by the way I have a bridge for sale!!jason Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #12 January 22, 2002 couldn't the victims just empty their accounts beforehand? I mean, if they really believed a money transfer might take place, but were nervous about giving out their account #s, coudn't they just have an empty account ready to receive the funds? ( I know, I know, if it's a scam there wouldn't actually be any funds to receive into the account, but what would the con-artists be able to do with an empty account?)Speed Racer"My God! It's full of stars!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 4 #13 January 22, 2002 QuoteI got a great one the other day promising to "increase ejaculation by 581%." I wonder if that's just an arbitary number they pulled out of their ass or what. Still cracked me up, though.Haha! Pulled out of their ass! Or drained out of their ass! Maybe leaked, dribbled, vacuumed.. I'm not really sure how that works, I just had this mental image of some guy (or it could be a girl) squatting over a graduated cylinder ripping a semen spewing fart and then exclaiming "Wow! That's up 581% from before!"I ain't happy, I'm feeling gladI got sunshine, in a bag Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottbre 0 #14 January 22, 2002 QuoteI just had this mental image of some guy . . .Well, thanks soooo much for sharing that image with the rest of us. Hey it's almost lunchtime, sure am hungry now. "Let the rabbits wear glasses. . . " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #15 January 22, 2002 "Let the rabbits wear glasses. . . " We must be on the same wave length. Last week, I was about to use that very same line as a sig.can I get an amen?mike...red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottbre 0 #16 January 22, 2002 Quotecan I get an amen?"Hear the cries of the carrots. . ." "Let the rabbits wear glasses. . . " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #17 January 22, 2002 And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? (baaaaahhhhaa) Can I get a hallelujah? (baaaaaaaaaahh) Thank you Jesus. Life feeds on life feeds on life... mike...red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #18 January 22, 2002 Uh... that was too scary....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #19 January 22, 2002 QuoteAnd the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? (baaaaahhhhaa) Can I get a hallelujah? (baaaaaaaaaahh) Thank you Jesus. Absolutely fascinating. Please identify and explain.Pet me! I'm harmless and cute! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottbre 0 #20 January 22, 2002 QuoteAbsolutely fascinating. Please identify and explain.It's the spoken part of the end of a Tool song called Disgustipated. It's cooler when you hear it than read it. "Let the rabbits wear glasses. . . " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #21 January 22, 2002 Hidden track (69) on Tool's second album.And the rest of the story picks up after about 11 minutes of crickets...It was daylight when you woke up in your ditch. You looked up at your sky then. That made blue be your color. You had your knife there with you too. When you stood up there was goo all over your clothes. Your hands were sticky. You wiped them on your grass, so now your color was green. Oh Lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this. You were already getting nervous again. Your head hurt and it rang when you stood up. Your head was almost empty. It always hurt you when you woke up like this. You crawled up out of your ditch onto your gravel road and began to walk, waiting for the rest of your mind to come back to you. You can see the car parked far down the road and you walked toward it. "If God is our Father," you thought, "then Satan must be our cousin." Why didn't anyone else understand these important things? You got to your car and tried all the doors. They were locked. It was a red car and it was new. There was an expensive leather camera case laying on the seat. Out across your field, you could see two tiny people walking by your woods. You began to walk towards them. Now red was your color and, of course, those little people out there were yours too. mike...red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #22 January 22, 2002 AWESOME. I love well written spoken word. Pet me! I'm harmless and cute! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #23 January 22, 2002 Hank Rollins added this to Tool's "Bottom" ...You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuildwhat's broken.Too much, too far, too late to lie down now.I must arm myself to fight youby making weapons out of my imperfections.It's all I have left.There's no other choice.I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.I'm naked and fearless.But I'm dead inside.mike...red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #24 January 22, 2002 I get the Nigerian one at least twice a week at work. I like to forward it to abuse@whatever the isp is in the from address. pull and flare,lisa-- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiventom 0 #25 January 22, 2002 Is this an increase in the volume I'd shoot or the distance I'd shoot what I've got... hummm.. or is it both volume and distance???Maybe I'll just suprise Susan..... =-)Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
