ChromeBoy 0 #1 March 19, 2002 I do not drink much, uhm, and neither does any of my friends so I have NEVER seen this happen just Heard about it...My question is this...what causes alcohol to make us wake up in the middle of then night and have a confindence in the fact that our plants, tv, closets, corners of the rooms, coffee tables, etc are toilets? I have a friend who is in a lot of trouble because he woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday with his wife screaming at him while he was pissing on the tv in his bedroom. He though it was the toilet. He has been sleeping on the couch ever since.I also had someone from my dz get to drunk so I let them stay the night and she peed on my floor in the living room!What causes this besides too much alcohol? Why does this happen? "Psycho Monkey" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keith 0 #2 March 19, 2002 I have a cousin who used to get up in the middle of the night and pee in the hamper in his closet thinking it was the bathroom We used to pick on him mercilessly Keith Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #3 March 19, 2002 QuoteI do not drink muchsure sure.....QuoteI have a friendoh yeah really........Quotehe was pissing on the tv in his bedroomdid he get shocked?Sebazz......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #4 March 19, 2002 I peed in a plant once......I knew EXACTLY what I was doing though....."I only have a C license, so I don't know shit..right?"-Clay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #5 March 19, 2002 REmind me to put tin foil on my plants if Clay ever visitsI'm not talking about your pig tails, I'm talking about your sex appeal.... hit the road and I'm gone.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #6 March 19, 2002 I puked into a Nintendo Chair (remember those?) once at a friends house. I thought it was a bucket. Luckily since I had had somewhere around a case of beer and hadn't really eaten, it was very easy to clean up..."I don't want to destroy your sweater, lets be friends and just walk away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canopycudler 0 #7 March 19, 2002 I have only one question here. WHY MUST GUYS PEE BY SOUND? Busses here don't work. I am an asshole. ...Tina Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #8 March 19, 2002 QuoteWHY MUST GUYS PEE BY SOUND? Why can't women put the damn seat down, it's as if they take a flying butt leap into the toliet with out looking. We shouldn't have to put it up all the time, ya know."I don't want to destroy your sweater, lets be friends and just walk away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #9 March 19, 2002 "WHY MUST GUYS PEE BY SOUND? "Gotta find the damn water somehow!!__________________________________________If first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canopycudler 0 #10 March 20, 2002 OPEN your EYES.. i know it is difficult.. but women have no problem with it.. i mean come on.. do you see us squatting n the sink? Busses here don't work. I am an asshole. ...Tina Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #11 March 20, 2002 Well the only reason I miss is cause of all the earthquakes we got around here you know what I mean!?! It's hard to pee straight with all the shakin goin on............hahaha.........lol......Sebazz......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #12 March 20, 2002 actually, there is an explanation... here's what i found after a brief web search... another oldie but goodie.Please don't feel bad. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It's rare for us guys to ever hit what were aiming for. Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just so I'll make sure I hit something. You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to piss all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling 'ya those little buggers can't be trusted. After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer allowed to pee like a man -- standing up. I am required to sit down and pee. She has convinced me that this is a small price to pay. Otherwise if she had gone to the toilet one more time at night and either sat on a pee soaked toilet seat, or fell right into the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down, she was going to kill me in my sleep.Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about, but because you and I have become such good friends and you think I'm a classy guy, I might as well be candid with you because it's a real problem, and you ladies need to be understanding. It's the dreaded "morning wood." Most mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire to pee, and a penis so hard you could cut diamonds with it. Well, no matter how hard you try, you can't get that thing to bend, and if it don't bend you can't aim, well hell, if you can't aim you have no choice but to piss all over the wallpaper and that damn fuzzy toilet seat cover you women insist on putting on the toilet. And by the way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the friggin' toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we have to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand to try to control ourselves for that perfect aim. Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know the guys in here will back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat with that damn fuzzy thing to stay up. You jam it back and compress that fuzzy thing until the seat stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then that compressed fuzzy starts to decompress and without warning, that damn toilet seat comes flying down and tries to whack off your weenie. So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with a fuzzy, it's just not safe. I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I told her ... look, it won't bend. She said, "Sit down like I told you to do all the rest of the time." OK. I tried sitting down on the toilet with "morning wood." Well, it's is very hard to get it bent under the toilet seat, and before I could manage it, I had pissed all over the bath towels hanging on the wall across the room. Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced down under the toilet seat, when you start to pee, the pee shoots out from the crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl. You piss all over the back of your knees and it runs down the back of our legs on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you keep putting on the floor in front of the toilet. I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman position laying over the toilet seat. This takes a great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time precision but it's the only sure way to get all the pee in the bowl during the first morning pee.So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to blame. We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom cleanliness, but there are times when things just get beyond our control. It's not our fault, it's just Mother Nature. Now, see, if it was Father Nature, there wouldn't have been a problem!!!Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earthAnd danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #13 March 20, 2002 Quoteyou see us squatting n the sink?Wondering whether or not I should form a mental pic of that oneI'm not talking about your pig tails, I'm talking about your sex appeal.... hit the road and I'm gone.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canopycudler 0 #14 March 20, 2002 Ok.. this is not related.. but nonetheless reminded me of a funny story.When I was married, i had this adorable loving cat (still have her).. she didn't like my x..she knew he was an ass.. and therefore ALWAYS peed on his shit.. I could have cloths strung out all over the room and he could have a hat sitting on the floor and she would pee on his hat.. I thought it was halirous!! One day she peed on his pillow. He was IRATE! I mean a crazed man.. i could do nothing but find all the humor.. until the next day.. i came home from work and there was a pile of shit in the cats bed... I walked into the kitchen and there was my x smiling from ear to ear.. looking ever so proud.. he said " she pissed on my pillow.. so i shit in her bed" !! It was at that point i realized that men are more pathedic than children.. who would have thought of taking dog shit out of the yard and putting it in the cats bed? I did give him a giggle for creatitivity though ! LOLBusses here don't work. I am an asshole. ...Tina Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canopycudler 0 #15 March 20, 2002 tee hee.. and just for the record.. I did not PEE in the urinal.. i swear i swear i swear..!! Busses here don't work. I am an asshole. ...Tina Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JDBoston 0 #16 March 20, 2002 Saw that in a movie once... I once pissed on my roommate in college, perhaps thinking he & his bed were the bathroom. Then a few weeks later I pissed in our poor hedgehog's cage, again unintentionally. But that was all long, long ago.Joe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spy38W 0 #17 March 20, 2002 Good question.. after a long night of drinking/partying, I decided to crash at a friends house so I wouldn't crash trying to drive my ass home.. bunch of people were there, and I was slow on finding a sleeping place, so I got stuck with the floor. Was awoken around 3:30 am by somebody else who was doing a "drunken stagger in darkness towards the bathroom in an unfamiliar house" yadda yadda yadda, lets just say I'm glad I woke up and was able to move from next to the coffee table where I was sleeping.--I think I'm an inch shorter from that opening Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #18 March 20, 2002 Once woke up one morning to find puke all over my bedroom walls, black of course - from the 10 straight shots of Jack Daniels I did the night before, not to mention the rum/cokes and Guiness that were intermixed with it. JD..evil evil stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coconutmonkey 0 #19 March 20, 2002 It's the deep splashy sound which allows us to grog our ways back to bed/couch/floor without having to wipe our feet.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChromeBoy 0 #20 March 20, 2002 QuoteI have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman position laying over the toilet seat.Funny. I actually posted this as one of my pet peeves a while back. The fact that you have to do this in the morning in order to not shower the bathroom is like PMS to a woman. Maybe close?"Psycho Monkey" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JDBoston 0 #21 March 20, 2002 Why doesn't everyone just pee in the shower when they wake up? I've been doing that my whole life. You can pee every which way and it doesn't matter at all. Of course, I guess you have to be the clean kind of person who takes showers every morning.Joe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #22 March 20, 2002 That's a good thing too, incase you have athlete's foot..."I don't want to destroy your sweater, lets be friends and just walk away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChromeBoy 0 #23 March 20, 2002 My father told me a few things growing up...A real man is a man who steps out of the shower to use the bathroom.And while I was learning to drive who said there is one thing that will definetly keep me out of accidents...Don't Fuck With the Big Truck."Psycho Monkey" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canopycudler 0 #24 March 20, 2002 note to self.. do not take a bath at your house.. Busses here don't work. I am an asshole. ...Tina Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #25 March 20, 2002 on a serious note.... I seem to remember that your own pee is sterile to yourself. I seem to remember this mundane fact because of the gross outs contests where people would do some weird shit.......I'm not talking about your pig tails, I'm talking about your sex appeal.... hit the road and I'm gone.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
