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mountainman

Truisms and random thoughts...dot dot dot....

By mountainman, in The Bonfire

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ChromeBoy    0

ChromeBoy
Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Monogamy is the same.
I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all-nervous and give the wrong answers.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3. feeding; and 4. Mating.
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. ---Mark Twain
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ---Dave Barry
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. ---Emo Phillips
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What is important is that you continue to do so. ---Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ---George Carlin
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. ---Ashleigh Brilliant
Always try to do things in chronological order; it is less confusing that way.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. ---David Letterman
Do not worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ---Old Farmer's Almanac
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. ---Mark Twain
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night". ---Charlie Brown

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mountainman    0

mountainman
Yup.....here is that website you're looking for...HERE
And a little more info for you about the "real" PETA:
PETA Bashing
It's easy and fun!!
I dedicate this page to the most ridiculous special interest group in the country, P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). This is group that says there is no difference between a boy and a clam. Really? I wonder what the PETA folks would say if they were trapped in a burning building and someone was saving the rats and cockroaches. Something tells me that they would change their tune.
Now they are going after the Green Bay Packers to change their name. Come on! This group is most intrusive bunch of lunatics out there. If they don't like the name of the teams then don't watch. I bet there are a lot more meat-eaters who watch the NFL than there is vegetarians.
So I have devised a list of team names that will surely offend that group. They might even be offensive to others, but it is all in the name of fun. So here we go. My list of names that I wish some teams would adopt.
Trappers
Carnivores
Clambake
Butchers
Mink Coats
Bacon Bits
Burgermeisters
Roadkill
Sausage Kings
Vegan Beaters
Beefcake
Baby Seal Bashers
There you have it. Names meant to offend PETA.
And a bit more interesting reading.....HERE.
They'll be there in like 10 minutes....:)Blues,
Brandon
JumpinDuo.com...come and sign the guestbook.

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Floater    0

Floater
All attributed to R.B. Fairchild
For one hundred dollars you can buy sex, drugs, or murder.
You can buy another human's dignity. You cannot buy shoes.
Lawyers deserve some credit. We complain that they're dishonest and greedy, but we're the ones who hire them. Lawyers clean up our messes, and at our behest they inflict misery upon anyone we consider an enemy. They exist because we can't live our lives decently. I'm not sure it's lawyers who are the problem.
The average person has more in common with a serial killer than she does with the CEO of a large corporation. We've all fantasized about killing someone, but nobody normal likes laying people off.
The sweetest music in the world is the delicate sound of a pretentious wanker being punched in the nose.
I'm not sure why it's good to compare something to the fun potential of "a barrel of monkeys." Like, "Scrabble is more fun than a barrel of monkeys!"
Actually a barrel of monkeys would have to be the most terrifying thing, ever. Imagine prying off the top of the barrel, only to see six pairs of eyes glinting from the darkness, fixated with fury upon you and nothing else. All you can smell is monkey semen, sprayed everywhere from hours and hours of their combined total masturbation. The monkeys are matted and sticky, cold and wet, the fresh air and light causes them to start screaming and howling at you. They're extremely hungry, and hideously angry, and you've just let them free.
That's when the lead monkey leaps into the air and starts smashing your skull with the very crowbar you freed him with.
Now what could be less fun than that?
The difference between humans and robots is that robots will ultimately turn on their creators and destroy the human race, whereas all we'll do is beg God for mercy while they're splitting open our skulls and digitizing our babies.
See you in church, suckers.
On top of everything else, homophobia also means that you'd have to be disgusted if you were tied up and forced to watch two women having sex, and I think that's just sad.

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