Lindsey 0 #1 June 10, 2002 So today I got into a relatively heated discussion (being nice) with the associate dean of the College of Medicine, via e-mail. Auggghhh! Now I've been in a rotten mood for a couple of hours, and even ordering that new helmet didn't help....usually spending money snaps me right out of it.... Maybe I'm just a bitch.....but is that necessarily a bad thing? So medical school is relatively competitive. In one of our courses, the director laid out for us early on how our final exam would be scored, and the scoring didn't seem to be fair to any of us in the class. But after many discussions, his way stood. So.....I worked really hard to give myself a huge cushion so that I could absorb the shock of that final 25% of the grade..... Well, after the exams were scored, a bunch of people complained because their grades dropped. The associate dean reviewed the way the class was scored and agreed with the class that it was unfair, and the course director then "adjusted" 48 grades in that class up a level. So I e-mailed the dean to voice my concerns about how that whole thing was handled. I was polite, but pretty direct. He sent me a nasty, very condescending note back which I, of course, had to respond to. In it, I suggested that he not insult me further. He did apologize for overreacting to my initial note and for the personal insult....he said because he's been overwhelmed by students' notes about that particular course. He suggested I come by and talk to him face-to-face, which I'll of course do. But my stomach is just in knots over this. Perhaps I need to learn some tact? I don't know. I'm not often bummed out, but today I am......Peace and Love~LindseyYa' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #2 June 10, 2002 Just a piece of advice . . . take it for what you will.Never get into a battle with any superior via email if you can use other means. Email (and the internet) is probably the least effective method of communication you have at your disposal. Email does not show any nuance or inflection. Email has a tendancy to almost always be read as "angry email." If a person can possibly take something the wrong way, I can almost guarantee that's the way it will be taken.A phone call is better.Face-to-face is the best.quadehttp://futurecam.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #3 June 10, 2002 Yeah what Paul said about e-mail flaming...As a general rule of thumb, only fight the fights you can win......And its nearly always better to try and reason things out first, face to face as it were......This is called diplomacy.CyaDGR# 37Remember how lucky you are to see and touch the sky; the blind may only dream. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #4 June 10, 2002 yeah.....I know you're absolutely right. I guess that I just didn't see my first note as any more than my $.02. He obviously saw it very differently. When I got that one back, I probably should've picked up the phone, at least.....I get in trouble with stuff like that all the time. I'll say something via e-mail that I don't see as any big deal, and then someone takes it in a spirit much different than that in which it was sent, and next thing ya' know....KABOOM!AugggghhLindseyYa' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kevin922 0 #5 June 10, 2002 take it for what it's worth - email is easier to save / trace. So if you are wanting a hard copy of the convo and don't have tape recording on your phone line that is the way to go. Getting into recording phone convos is a whole other legal thing (Some places require you inform the person they are being recorded, etc).I've learned (through being burned) to use email over voice because I have a good record of what was said then.Kevin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 June 10, 2002 QuotePerhaps I need to learn some tact?That can help......I tend to be a little too "direct" at times myself. I get that from my Mom. She can be such a bitch....LOL "Here I come to save the BOOBIES!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #7 June 10, 2002 QuoteI've learned (through being burned) to use email over voice because I have a good record of what was said then.And this can be a double-edged sword.NEVER, EVER put anything in an Email that you wouldn't want read out loud in court.(Bill Gates anyone?)quadehttp://futurecam.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #8 June 10, 2002 QuoteNEVER, EVER put anything in an Email that you wouldn't want read out loud in court.WoooHoooo....did my ex-wife ever learn that one the hard way. It was good enough to make the prosecutors jump out of their seats...LOL.....reminded me of "Clearing the benches" in a baseball game brawl.... It was all I could do not to completely laugh my ass off.....even the judge was having a hard time hiding his smirk. Nothing like a "Perry Mason" style ambush......"Here I come to save the BOOBIES!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #9 June 10, 2002 What I like about email is that I can take my time to put in writing exactly what I want to say. You don't always get that opportunity in a face to face or telephone conversation; things can get off track or emotional really fast. If I need to email my boss about something, I take my time, present my case, proof it and then wait a bit and reread it before I send it out. I find that is helpful for me in presenting clearly what I need to say.Just my .02maura Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #10 June 10, 2002 I have to agree with Paul on all counts. Lindsey..you keep going girl but do it face to face.Cheers!BB"Cheeky lil' thing aren't ya?" sez Ash Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #11 June 10, 2002 Email is great for covering your ass, if you realize and understand how to do that to your advantage.Simply sending a person an Email is not covering your ass. If you're on a corporate system like Outlook or something, you want to make sure you get a read receipt (although this can be circumvented if your victim, er, ah, co-worker is semi-savvy) and you also want to cc: your boss and your co-worker's boss.Yes, Email can be an effective weapon, just remember it can backfire.quadehttp://futurecam.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #12 June 10, 2002 But just for the record.....this whole incident of mine was never intended to be confrontational to begin with.....just kind of snowballed real quick.....I certainly saw no need to cover my ass in any way initially.....Ya' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChromeBoy 0 #13 June 10, 2002 Did you tell him not to get his panties in a wad like you said to Bill Von awhile ago? That probably is what pissed him off.Blue Happiness Stuff,Chrome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #14 June 10, 2002 Did I tell Billvon that? Doh.... sounds like something I might say.....sorry billvonLindseyYa' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChromeBoy 0 #15 June 10, 2002 QuoteDid I say that?Yep. In the SUV thread Blue Happiness Stuff,Chrome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,476 #16 June 10, 2002 >Did I tell Billvon that? Doh.... sounds like something I might say.....sorry billvonToo late! I'm a bitter and vengeful person, so I'll be sure to harass you unmercifully.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #17 June 10, 2002 Quote...this whole incident of mine was never intended to be confrontational to begin with.....just kind of snowballed real quick....Again . . . "If a person can possibly take something the wrong way, I can almost guarantee that's the way it will be taken."quadehttp://futurecam.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #18 June 10, 2002 Quoteeven ordering that new helmet didn't help....usually spending money snaps me right out of it...Talking to me didn't cheer you up? Huh. Now I'm hurt... j/kI did try to get you to spend more but you insisted you had everything else you needed. If you think it will help your attitude if you go ahead and max out the card, feel free to call me back! pull & flare,lisa"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda sez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #19 June 10, 2002 QuoteIf you think it will help your attitude if you go ahead and max out the card, feel free to call me back! Way to be there, Lisa! That is supportive if I've ever heard it. Justin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #20 June 11, 2002 Again....for the record.....I don't max out cards. I only use my debit card, which removes money directly from my checking account.... If it ain't in there, it won't get spent. Works really well. Now that the mood's better (got called in to work at Children's Hospital all night, and it reminded me real quick that most of us really have nothing to complain about), I realize that I blew a great opportunity to talk to you on the phone.... So bein' down in the dumps is really a waste of good daylight....Peace~LindseyYa' know Smack-water Jack he bought a shotgun'cause he was in the mood for a little con-fron-ta-tion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
