Scare tactics

[cgross 1]

Many of you experiened jumpers I am sure have put a bit of fear into the firstimers on jump run. If you have a good story on how to freak out tandems and newbies please share.

[pop 0]

Tandems, start pulling their harness off of the shoulder and play with their altimeter.

7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer

[freeflir29 0]

I just like to say...."Hey what's the worst thing that could happen?" Then give a Whoops.....shouldn't have said that look.

[Chivo 0]

This is more funny than scary...at least it was funny for me. I heard an tandem instructor tell the student...

"If you realize at any point that you don't want to jump, all you have to do is yell 'NO, NO, NO!' three times. But since its very loud in the plane, I'll probably hear 'GO, GO, GO!', so we're going anyway!"

~Chivo

[PhillyKev 0]

I got a bloody nose in freefall once...splattered all over my face and white helmet. Very gruesome looking. Made sure to walk past where all the tandems were boarding with a big smile on my face.

[christoofar 0]

I got good with this one:

Andrew: Remember that time we almost died?

Lance: Which one?

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[livendive 8]

My first save was myself, during a hop & pop I was doing while waiting for a couple tandems to show up. I was a little bit into the basement when I chopped, and, realizing I was gonna owe myself a bottle, I took a slight delay with a very loud "WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO" in between cutaway and reserve pull. Reserve opened perfectly. I looked down and saw an unfamiliar car in the parking lot with two people standing next to it, so I flew down and landed at the edge of the landing area, just on the other side of the street from them. I said "Hi, are you here to do tandems?" The guy said "Yeah", I said "My name's Dave and I'm gonna be your instructor". Both their faces went white. The gal pointed at my still falling main and said "bb..bb...bb...but..um...you didn't pack OUR parachute did you?" I grinned and said "Yeah, but I also packed this one (holding out my reserve) and it worked, so I figure we've got a 50/50 chance here." They both jumped, but both seemed a little more nervous than I'd have expected.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[n2skdvn 0]

over heard in an otter once...

jm "we have some of thr best tandem jump masters in the world here!"

another jumper "yea but none of them are on this plane!!!!"

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[quade 3]

Quote

If you have a good story on how to freak out tandems and newbies please share.

Make sure it sounds like idle chit-chat to the tandem master. (BTW, do this at a lot of DZs and you'll get asked to leave and never come back. So, it's probably not the best idea to screw around with the students.)

"So, uh, Ed, hey how's it going? You're ok -- right? You looked pretty wasted last night. I understand. I'd celebrate getting out of the hospital too if I'd been through what you had. What -was- that anyway a double femur break this time? Anyway, ya look just great. Pretty smart move telling the passenger to pull his legs up like that so you could use him as a cushion. I see everybody's doin' that now. Did you ever hear if the guy came out of the coma?"

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[Deuce 1]

Cool! Glad to see you! You don't have the ankle thing on.

Yeah, my parole officer took it off for when I work. It was screwing with the plane's radio.

[happythoughts 0]

Are the pills helping on the "depression" issue?

To the passenger, "It's ok, his parole officer wouldn't let him do this if the pills didn't help."

[Sebazz1 2]

JM: Hey Seb did you take your medication?

ME: I forgot to take them this week so I took all seven this morning

[Brisco 0]

"Hey Bob, make sure you hook up all four points this time and don't leave her hanging upside-down like you did that poor girl yesterday!"

Brisco

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

[Sebazz1 2]

"Hey (to JM) better luck this time... What are the chances that will happen twice in a row..."

[flyhi 24]

To tandem student: "Don't worry, Fred is one of the five best...[stage whisper] wait a minute...Eric is here today [/stage whisper], one of the six best tandem master you could have."

To tandem student: "Don't worry about a thing. They've never lost a student yet. Hey guys,they did find that girl last week, right?"

To tandem student with religious artifact around his/her neck: "Excuse me, but when you start to pray, and you will, please throw a few, "and flyhi, too" in there. Thanks." Once on the plane, keep asking if he/she has started praying yet. If not, look quizzical and say, "Really?"

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[dterrick 0]

...not for tandems, but a a packer for the DZ (we all pack on a small Cessna DZ)...

3 'big boyz' - one of them bragging about getting rig "#69 - his favorite number" as I was returning another rig to the student gearup area and logging the pack job. In a silly mood, I took the clipboard I had just logged, looked at the guys and said...

"#64..., nope, #66, ...nope, #69...nope... you guyz are good to go"

...silence and stunned faces...


#69 bravely asks " whatdayamean 'nope' " and I reply ..."well I didn't pack ANY of your chutes so you should be good to go!"


That sank in for a bit and then I explained I had statred jumping a year and 110 jumps ago and started packing my OWN chute at jump #5.

The JM laughed. The jump went well. I was at the bowl doing video and everyone had fun and landed well and safely.

Dave

..I NEVER fool around while I'm in the plane... I wait till I'm OUT!!

Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend (Lennon/McCartney)

[FreeFlyHol 0]

If you're on the ground with some waiting tandems and you're watching a tandem with video in freefall, wait until the tandem opens and the video person keeps falling and yell at the top of your lungs "OH MY GOD THEY DROPPED HIM!!"

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

"OH MY GOD THEY DROPPED HIM!!"

We did have a Tandem student a few months back that was asking "Did I do something wrong? When the parachute opened the camera guy went away." I just shook my head and walked on by.....