Rebecca 0 #1 March 20, 2003 This is a guy issue I don't know how to handle- need some suggestions please. Here goes: a guy I know, Bob*, just asked me for advice about our mutual friend, another guy I have known for a long time and am fairly close to (platonically). Seems this mutual friend, we'll call him John, has a habit of going to parties and cockblocking the other guys who are trying to hook up. I'm not sure what this entails, though I can't imagine he's doing much more than joining conversations. Whatever he's doing, it's enough that the other guys are ready to shut him out. Bob, as the leader of this group, has been asked to do something. He is trying to be sensitive about it since John tends to have depression issues, and also, Bob really would like to keep John in the group. I made several suggestions: 1. Hook Bob up first- keep him occupied 2. Flat out tell him to take a hike when he moves in 3. Team up and sideline him if a potential cockblock scenario presents itself. They already tried those, and they didn't work. I swear, it's like a mating episode on 'Wild Kingdom'. So, I'm at a loss. Suggestions are welcome. Oh, and these are whuffos I'm talking about, so please bear that in mind... Thanks. *names have been changed to protect the innocent you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 March 20, 2003 #1 and #3 seem reasonable to me. Other then that, have them explain the situation to him. Who knows, maybe he'll understand with out becoming offended.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #3 March 20, 2003 Give the all the guys a tazer each, this should condition *John* in no time at all. Furthermore it could be played off as a bit of male bonding. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #4 March 20, 2003 1 is a temp solution, it might have to come to #3 if the problem persists! <<<>>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #5 March 20, 2003 "Cockblock"? Hee hee! Look, if the other guys aren't getting any play, it's totally wussified to blame John. Maybe they should try being more interesting or aggressive.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #6 March 20, 2003 This is one of the many reasons why I'm still married to the same girl after 16 years. I always know who I'm gonna sleep with.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #7 March 20, 2003 QuoteThis is one of the many reasons why I'm still married to the same girl after 16 years. I always know who I'm gonna sleep with. I hate it when my wife cockblocks, how am I supposed to get some? <<<>>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #8 March 20, 2003 See! That's what I think! John's not doing it on purpose, I mean, he's not being predatory about it at all. I think the rest of the guys should pull their wadded jockeys out of their butts and learn to fend for themselves. For that matter, if I've got the hots for a guy, and another guy joins the conversation, I'm not going to suddenly change my mind. And if I'm not interested in the first place, it doesn't matter anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #9 March 20, 2003 QuoteQuoteThis is one of the many reasons why I'm still married to the same girl after 16 years. I always know who I'm gonna sleep with. I hate it when my wife cockblocks, how am I supposed to get some? I am put in an unusual position here. How does one take such a comment? I must ask was it ment to be so open ended for us to laugh at? I just an open-mouth insert-foot scenairo? either way I must agree. DAMN I hate that!Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #10 March 20, 2003 I'm thinking they need to instate a group rule: If you see a guy, talking to a girl, all by themselves, DO NOT insert yourself into the conversation. I guess I can see the point: if a guy is trying to hook up, another guy butting in seriously derails the flow and direction he was heading... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #11 March 20, 2003 Quote I hate it when my wife cockblocks, how am I supposed to get some? That's one of the biggest reasons I got divorced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #12 March 20, 2003 yardhippie, slim, you postwhores, stop hijacking my thread! Don't make me pull this thread over! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #13 March 20, 2003 You have a good point. But to show my caring side... what about what the women want. Doesnt that play a part? I was once accused of such blocking, but the girl told me she didnt what nothin to do w/ my buddy, and was just being nice...Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #14 March 20, 2003 QuoteFor that matter, if I've got the hots for a guy, and another guy joins the conversation, I'm not going to suddenly change my mind. And if I'm not interested in the first place, it doesn't matter anyway. Yeah, but it's not like you meet a guy and think, "ok, this is who I'm fucking tonight." The problem is that John needs to undersand the rules that as a group you allow each other room with girls. There's nothing worse than 5 guys crowded around a girl trying to impress her. Everyone ends up looking like a dork. You ALL need to explain to him that it's just part of the social norm. If you try to compete with your friends then you're a dick and need to be punched."I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #15 March 20, 2003 Quote yardhippie, slim, you postwhores, stop hijacking my thread! Don't make me pull this thread over! personal attack, personal attack. on a now official post whoring quest to hijack this thread... I had no such intentions, read my post before this one I was trying to help, but now.... moowaaaahaaaGoddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #16 March 20, 2003 You and DJL make good points. To your point- the guys don't care what the girls think (I'm sure they all think every woman wants them), it's the perception of intentional blocking that's pissing them off, even if the intended receiver didn't want it anyway. DJL- you're right. I think my buddy is just oblivious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #17 March 20, 2003 Quote Quote yardhippie, slim, you postwhores, stop hijacking my thread! Don't make me pull this thread over! personal attack, personal attack. on a now official post whoring quest to hijack this thread... I had no such intentions, read my post before this one I was trying to help, but now.... moowaaaahaaa Ooh- no fair! You posted this while I was replying to you! I appreciated your input! And now, you accuse me of attacking, though it is common knowledge that the title of postwhore is practically an honor around here! Why, I oughtta . . . Sigh. Hijack if you must... I'm sure plenty of other people will help me out... 'sall good dude you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #18 March 20, 2003 >>If you try to compete with your friends then you're a dick and need to be punched. << Well said. I have a friend who absolutely CAN'T let me talk to a girl by myself. And he's one of those people who everything you've done, he's done it more, better, worse, higher, lower or something. It drives me crazy. On two separate occasions, I have been talking to some girl and he walked up and either asked her out right there or asked her for her number. He thought I was kidding when I told him that the next time I would kick him in the balls. Brent ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #19 March 20, 2003 I would have to witness one of John's alleged cockblockings in order to judge what's going on here. Jessica might be right, it might not be John's fault. On the other hand, maybe it is. Picture this scenario: Take two other guys, let's call them Ernie and Bert. They're at a party. Bert sees a woman walk by who looks very attractive. Bert's a nice guy and is just about to go up to her to introduce himself, when suddenly Ernie yells out, "HEY BABY, NICE TITS!!" Ernie has just cockblocked Bert, because she will look over at them & think "Who are those two jerks?" Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #20 March 20, 2003 Well, I'm happily out of that game, but Rebecca, these folks need to grow up! Yes, they should do something. Breaking into conversations is rude, I don't think it's rude to respond, with "Excuse us, we are having a private conversation." So I've freaked out a number of people with my response to "I couldn't help but overhear..." with "Yes, you were eavesdropping, excuse us please" If John's response to this is to threaten suicide, take him to the ER. Sheesh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #21 March 20, 2003 Quote That's one of the biggest reasons I got divorced. ...just remember, she can't cut ya off if she don't know where yer gettin' it! "Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #22 March 20, 2003 John would never do something like that. I mean, he doesn't even cuss in front of me out of respect- he's a total gentleman. I've been to plenty of parties with him, and NEVER seen him get even the slightest bit out of hand. He does, however, get bored and restless easily, which leads to him wandering around and accidentally ruining mojo. I too would like to see one of these blocks... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #23 March 20, 2003 QuoteWell, I'm happily out of that game, but Rebecca, these folks need to grow up! YES they do! This is a bunch of junior high psuedo-drama bullshit. QuoteYes, they should do something. Breaking into conversations is rude, I don't think it's rude to respond, with "Excuse us, we are having a private conversation." You're right- it is rude. Even when you're among friends, you can't just walk up and expect to be welcomed into a two-person circle... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,166 #24 March 20, 2003 Quote Even when you're among friends, you can't just walk up and expect to be welcomed into a two-person circle... I'm ...um... socially challenged. In other words, I generally can't tell the difference between a two-person conversation that I can join and one that I can't, unless the two people involved are really close to each other and leaning in. Unless I really can't ever join any two-person conversation until invited. In which case, well since I have no social life anyway, maybe that's OK. Ha-- try to parse THAT sentence!So y'all be nice to us socially-challenged folks, OK? Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #25 March 20, 2003 That's just it- when you're among a group of friends that you're comfortable with- you like them, you thik they like you- it doesn't seem like a big deal to walk up and say "Hey! What's up?" I'm sure that's what John is doing, thinking that everyone's just as happy to see him as he is to see them. But even the socially challenged can tell from across the room when a guy is doing his pick-up routine. I mean, a guy, a girl, exchanging glances, lightly touching on the arm, lots of giggling, maybe intense heads-together conversation, do be do be do... you get the picture. I can't imagine John busting in on something like that, and I'm thinking these guys are just being whiney little babies... no? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
