things vs experiences

[skybytch 259]

"All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be." - Pink Floyd

Twenty years ago it was easy for me to come up with a good answer to the question "What do you want for your birthday/Christmas?" At that point in my life, for all the years before then and for many years after I was totally into acquiring "things." I had a long list of "things" that I wanted to have, some of which were inexpensive enough that I knew I had a good chance of receiving them as gifts if I asked for them.

As I sit here today approaching yet another birthday I'm discovering that I don't have an easy answer to the "what do you want..." question anymore. The only "thing" I can come up with that I really want right now is a reliable vehicle, and that's far beyond the gift budget of anyone who would be giving me a birthday present.

Since moving across the US last fall and consequently leaving a large portion of my belongings on the other side of the country, I've slowly been learning that "things" are not as important to me as they once were. Now instead of storing boxes of "things" in a closet or storage unit I want to store up memories in my mind of living life. I want to go places I haven't seen before, do things I haven't experienced before, and spend time with the people who are important to me.

So when my parents, son, and/or friends ask what I want for my birthday this year I'm not going to ask for yet another clothing or book store gift certificate. Instead I'm going to ask that they give me gifts of time and experiences. Instead of spending money sending me a "thing" I'm going to ask that they spend that money to spend time with me, whether in my world or theirs or someplace else entirely. If that's not possible for them then I'll ask for assistance in paying for something new I'd like to experience or for a trip I'd like to take. And if that's not within their budget I'll ask that they spend time and share their lives with me any way they can - on the phone, by email, whatever.

I kinda like this new attitude.
Has anyone else experienced a shift in how you think about and value "things" vs "memories"? If so, how did that shift change you and how you live your life?

[Slappie 9]

Just for you skybytch

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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a ride!"

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"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

[skyesspot 0]

That's a great view.

My views changed when my mom passed away a few years ago. I realized there were so many things she wanted to do and never got to. I also realized that in the end, she didn't care about any of her possesions, just that me and my brother would be okay.

I live my life giving to others more than myself now. Someday they will realize that the "things" are just that, but until then... if it makes them happy, then it makes me happy. Most material things can be replaced, and the ones that can't (pictures and stuff) still have a place in my memory.

And I will do the traveling I've always wanted to as soon as my kids are older.

Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[kai2k1 0]

It seems to me that the older we get the less we care about material things and we start to care more about experiences.

I noticed this change when I turned 30.

The only material thing im concerned with getting is my rig. Once I have that I'm pretty much done. I'd rather remember who I was with when celebrating a holiday than who got me what.

Id much rather share a jump or a beer with someone anytime

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[sunshine 2]

I'm with ya bytch. Material things don't mean much...which is why i don't have many. The things i've experienced, memories i have, friends i've made...thats what matters to me most. I spend all my money on traveling to be with the ones i love, not to buy some fancy new toy. I consider myself lucky to know whats truly important in life.

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meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[n2skdvn 0]

money really has no meaning to me(except for food shelter...ect) but as i say the only thing you can truly have when you die is memories and friends.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[CanuckInUSA 0]

He who dies with the most toys ... still dies.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[Orchid 0]

Has anyone else experienced a shift in how you think about and value "things" vs "memories"? If so, how did that shift change you and how you live your life?

[Hoot 0]

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It seems to me that the older we get the less we care about material things and we start to care more about experiences.

That is a proven fact!


My grandma is 79 years old and by the way she dresses you know she gives material possessions not one thought. She somehow still has enough energy to get hysterically happy, when someone will drive her to the grocery store.

There are 2 types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't. --Bill Murray

[dove 0]

My grandmother passed away almost 2 weeks ago. She was 97. My grandfather, who is 94, is now alone for the first time. They would have celebrated their 70th anniversary this June. While some of my relatives were going through her jewelry box deciding on who got what, I was thinking about my Grandpa and wanting to make his pain and sorrow and loneliness go away. My mom asked me if there was anything I wanted of Grandma's. I really couldn't think of anything. I have what I want - memories. Such sweet memories. I've been dreaming of her a lot lately and she is in all my dreams. She is younger in my dreams - not YOUNG - but the way she was when I was a kid. And she laughs a lot. In my dream last night she was laughing so hard she slapped her hands on her knees and fell to the ground rolling around, holding her stomach.
So now that Grandpa is alone (he refuses to go live with someone and insists that he's fine alone) I am going to go visit him in a few weeks and just spend time with him. He doesn't want flowers and he doesn't want gifts. He wants time. Time to share with others and to connect. So valuable. So priceless. I can't wait to see him. I called him last night and told him I wished I was there with him. In a shaky voice he responded, "I wish you were too." Oh, my breaking heart! I'll be there soon Grandpa.

Material things break, go out of style, get lost and lose value. But memories will always be in style.

Fall in dove.

[n2skdvn 0]

Dove enjoy your grand parents and parents while you can(my dad passed away in 97) time is precious objects and money are not.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[freeflygoddess 0]

Oh my gosh! Tomorrow is my birthday, and my parents asked me what I wanted and all I could think of was for them to come for my son's birthday which is this Saturday. They can not afford to so I told them to save their money and come for Megan's birthday in June. My boyfriend asked what I wanted and I told him that I just want to be able for us to take Zain to Legoland or SeaWorld this weekend. Maybe that is the mom in me, or just the fact that I don't really want anything but memories of times shared with my family. Although I could use a new canopy for when I come out of my being "grounded"

[cruzit 0]

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Has anyone else experienced a shift in how you think about and value "things" vs "memories"? If so, how did that shift change you and how you live your life?

After my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, I realized how much of the time I took for granted the people in my life would always be there and that my life would pretty much stay the same. I should have known better, as I lost my mother several years ago to a tragic car accident.

Now, not a day goes by that I don't call each of my children and let them know how much I love them. When they ask me what I want for my B-day/Christmas/Mother's Day, I tell them to come visit me. Every moment is precious. Stuff is just that, stuff, it's replacable, people aren't.

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Most definitly Lisa, in fact, I've been experiencing this for about two years now.


The people you meet and the experiences you have.


Thats the shit.

I want to travel, and build new friendships, experience new things... Stuff is just, well, stuff...

The whole thing with Eric really pushed these thoughts forward.

peace



Jack

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[wingnut 0]

i was thining about this last year..... was almost going to sell most of my stuff fit the rest into my rv and move to a campground so i could live cheap and do and go lots of places.... but the pack rat in me took over and i can't get rid of anything.... some day i'll pull myself to do it.......................as for getting new things.. not a big deal really... only new stuf i really have wanted in the past have been a better computer to do skydiving vids on and a better rig..... soon both will be taken care of and who knows.. myabe the rv will be moved into.............

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"i have no reader's digest version"

[TheBile 0]

No-one in my family is younger than 32, and it did get to the point where none of us could think of gifts we wanted for birthdays or christmas. It got to the point where we just gave money or gift vouchers everytime a birthday came up.

After a couple of years I had to put a stop to it. What's the point of Me giving a £30 gift certificate for something when I will get an equivalent gift certificate on my birthday that cancels it out. My sister tried to hide behind "It's the thought that counts" comment, but that to me was just an easy cop-out.

I told them that if they couldn't think of anything they wanted then I wasn't going to give them anything, it was then that you kind of realise that as you get older you place less value on material things and it's just as much a special gift to go out for a meal with your family than to have the latest CD or DVD.

That said, I am a materialist so I haven't quite reached that point of enlightenment, but I do see it's there ahead of me. It must be if I can see and agree with those words you've posted. Nice one.

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[Zenister 0]

honestly over the last 15 years or so i've become really really terrible about b-days, holidays etc...i just cant stand shopping for specific dates/events...

generally if i run across something that reminds me of a friend/relative/lover, i'll just get it and send it/give it next time i see them.. so no one really expects anything from me on any particular day, but i usually manage to find something to give everyone thruout the year...

i'm pretty much the same...i'd really rather have one thing i ten years that was really cool or really personal than any number of 'expected' gifts...

things just dont matter to much to me, never have beyond their utility, so i'm usually giving/lending my stuff to whoever needs it when i'm not using it...thats about the only reason i have for keeping things, so i can share it with others when the need arises, so i do have problems 'cleaning out' from time to time....you never know when something will become useful again....

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[RoysPlayThing 0]

Yes, I have experienced this. Seeing both sides of life to extreme (very Rich, and very poor) can make you understand the value of people, instead of the value of "things".
You have a great new outlook on life, and the adventure has only begun.

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My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.